by Annie Dyer
“We phoned your neighbour at home, checked the village pub, searched every barn and stable at Callum’s twice – we were on the verge of phoning hospitals.”
“Shit.” I stood up and headed to the step ladder. “Why would I be in a hospital?”
“We didn’t know if you’d gone for a run and been hit by a car or… I don’t know. Just get your arse back down there and see your sisters.”
He almost pushed me down the steps.
“New Year’s Eve Eve. What are your resolutions?”
We were sitting in Callum’s kitchen on an unofficial stag night which involved the four of us looking through the photo albums and school reports I’d gone back into the loft for earlier. Shay had managed to get himself involved in some online gaming tournament – he really was addicted to computer games – while Payton, Claire and Ava had demanded date nights as tomorrow night would be spent toasting Callum and Wren. Van, Vic, the Green girl cousins and Wren were doing something girly and my parents had been roped into babysitting Eliza and Teddy.
It had left us at a loose end, so we’d decided to hijack Callum’s kitchen and find the most embarrassing pictures of him possible. We’d ended up finding pictures of all of us, including some of Max’s baby photos that I couldn’t wait to share around the office after the holidays.
“Listen to this, this is from Max’s English teacher when he was in Year Eight: ‘Maxwell is a dedicated student but he needs to spend more time engaging with the text rather than staring at other students in the class.’” Jackson snorted. “Wasn’t that when you were obsessed with Olivia Akerman. I remember you writing her name in your maths book.”
“Possibly. Do you want me to remind you of what your science teacher had to say when you were in Year Eleven?”
Max was impossible to annoy since he and Victoria had the pregnancy confirmed. He was glowing even more than she was and I suspected it was killing him being away from her this evening.
“I’ll pass. But I’ll share this photo of Callum and Seph. This would be great in a magazine.” Jackson passed a picture to Max, who started laughing. “I hope it grew since then Seph.”
I didn’t respond. There were a lot of photos of me naked. Apparently, I had a thing as a child for taking my clothes off.
“You ever heard the term grower not a shower?” I smiled at Jackson.
“I’d rather not hear about your dick at all, Seph. As cute as your nudity might’ve been then, I see too much of it when you parade around the changing rooms with everything hanging out.” Callum put a bottle of bourbon on the table. “We’re having a couple of shots, brothers, and then I’m going to claim my wife back.”
“It sounds strange you calling her that when we didn’t see you get married.” I looked at Callum as he poured. “I’m not surprised you did it that way though.”
Callum finished pouring and sat back down. “I know. Wren was bothered that you’d be hurt by it – especially Mum.”
“I don’t think any of us expected you to have something like mine or even Max’s, Cal. But how does it feel being married?” Jackson sat back, ignoring the pictures now. I had no doubt that he’d be going back through them tomorrow – it was kind of addictive.
Callum grinned. “Fucking amazing. I was blown away that she actually wanted to do it. I thought we’d be engaged forever. And the whole thing was perfect. I missed you guys, you know, it felt weird the night before not having you to rip the piss, but when we were on the beach saying our vows – I wouldn’t change it.”
I’d never seen him look so content. Part of me was insanely happy for him.
Another part was jealous.
“You think you’ll have kids soon?” Maxwell had spent most of the day talking about children and babies – far more than Vanessa. We’d agreed between ourselves to give him another two days and then we’d start ribbing him for it.
Callum shrugged. “It’s not off the table. We’re not planning to travel as much in the next year or two at least. We want to develop the practice here, and Wren’s been asked to do a research project at London Zoo. We’ll still go over to Marrakesh and check on the set up there when we need to, but we want to be closer to home. I guess I want to see more of Teddy and Claire’s kids and whatever spawn Max produces. There might be a chance we’ve talked about having our own.” His smile didn’t fucking go away.
Max sank back into his seat. “Marie won’t know what to do with all these grandchildren.” He looked at me. “Just got the youngest to marry off now.”
I laughed, but it didn’t feel that funny.
“You not seeing anyone, Seph?” Callum raised a brow and took a sip of his bourbon.
“No. I’m done with picking random women up. I leave that to Shay now.” It was true. I’d still been socialising, but most the time I wasn’t drinking. My workload was huge and I needed to be at the top of my game. Nights out during the week didn’t help when I needed to be at my desk before seven.
Callum gave me the side eye and shook his head. “Don’t forget, you’re younger than us.”
I shrugged. “I’ve found your report from when you were fifteen, Cal.”
He groaned. “I don’t want to ever fucking relive those years. Put it away.”
I opened it out, seeing the near perfect grades and the comments that suggested his teachers had been frustrated with his lack of effort. “There are some classics here: Callum really must proof read his work; Callum would benefit from spending more time focusing on the task in hand, rather than what might be at hand later and here’s my favourite, if charming other people was a subject, Callum would gain an A. However, with current progress, the best Callum can hope for in French is a C.”
“My French teacher was an absolute brute. He hated the fact that I could remember stuff when I looked like I wasn’t listening.” Callum whipped the report from my hands. “I’ll show this to Wren later; she’ll probably frame it or something.”
“How is married life?” I looked round at my three brothers. “Any different than before?”
“Fucking awesome so far.” Max beamed bigger than I’d ever seen. “Just can’t wait for the baby.”
Jackson tapped his fingers on the table. “I know it’s a crude statement to say ‘you’ve locked it down’, but being married does make you feel like you’re in a partnership and someone’s always got your back. I don’t feel like I have to keep impressing Vanessa to keep her with me – I do it now because I want to make her happy. I’d do anything to make her and Teddy smile.”
“Apart from take your muddy shoes off when you come in,” Max muttered.
“Don’t get me wrong, we argue, and I still have no space in the bathroom, but that’s just part of being married. I should put a note up about the shoes.” Jackson looked at Callum. “I doubt Wren gives a shit about muddy shoes?”
Cal laughed, a genuine happy laugh. “Or she gives a shit. She doesn’t say anything, she just gets revenge. Last time she used one of my favourite T-shirts to mop up.” He sobered his laugh. “I still feel like standing on top of a mountain and screaming that I managed to get the girl. Finally.”
“You go stand on top of a mountain and shout. That’s fine. As long as we can’t hear you,” Max said. “We sound like a bunch of soft-arsed bastards.” He looked at me. “But don’t get serious with someone just for the sake of it, Seph. You need to find the right woman.”
“How do you know?”
Max looked at Jackson and then Callum. “We never repeat this conversation, especially to any of the women.”
They both nodded.
“You don’t stop thinking about them. You’ll do anything to spend time with them; you’d do anything to look after them, even if they can look after themselves, you just don’t want them to have to; you’d gladly walk over broken glass or sell a kidney or watch Real Housewives, just to make them smile.” Max folded his arms and tried to look menacing, obviously needing to do something to balance the soft shit he’d just come out with.
>
“One thing to remember though,” Callum kicked my shin. “They need to feel the same way about you.”
27
A box of condoms, extra small – Seph to Shay
Shay
“You realise this is the first time I’ve been out properly in about two months?” I pushed a hand through my hair and wondered whether it was fashionable to have hair that looked like it needed a cut.
My cousin shoulder checked me out of the way of the mirror and straightened the glasses I knew he didn’t need. “That’s because you’re a workaholic. You’re not going to convince me that you haven’t had sex for that time though.”
“Sex is a form of stress-relief.” He was right; I’d not gone without. Caroline, a paediatrician I worked with, and I, had a friends-with-benefits arrangement. She was tall, Amazonian woman who pretty much scared the shit out of me, and had no intention of ever settling down with anyone. The first time we’d slept together, she’d kicked me out of bed before my dick had even softened and demanded I leave so she could get five hours sleep before her next shift. I’d felt slightly used, to be fair, but not enough that we didn’t make a semi-regular thing out of it.
There was also a nurse who’d started at the hospital and we’d managed a few hours in between shifts in her rented room in a shared house nearby. I suspected she’d like something more, but I was in no position to promise anything to anyone.
I was married to my job.
And maybe someone else too – just I had no idea where she actually was right now to be able to ask for a divorce.
“Dry spells are something I manage to avoid.” I watched Seph ruffle his hair and pretty much pout at his reflection. “Unlike you.”
He shrugged. “Don’t feel like I’m missing anything. You ready?”
We were hitting up the Oxford bars, enjoying a touch of Christmas spirit, and as the only two single men in the party, we were each other’s wingman. I’d had a couple of nights out in Oxford; it was a student city, but different from Leeds or Sheffield, so I doubted I’d be coming back with anything but maybe a phone number I wouldn’t dial.
“Pretty much. Dad said he’ll drop us off, but we need to call a cab back.” Seph glanced outside. “Hopefully we won’t get any more snow. Payton offered to get us if we can’t call a cab, as long as it’s before midnight.”
“I don’t mind driving.” Drinking wasn’t something I was overly bothered about doing, not since one alcohol fuelled night when I’d induced the mother of all hangovers and a ring on my wedding finger. That was nine years ago. I’d been sent eight anniversary cards by my bride since then, all to wherever I was working, but she’d never thought to include her current address.
“Neither do I.” Seph frowned. “Does that mean we’re getting old?”
“Probably.”
There was a knock at the door which stopped us from questioning our impending loss of youth any further and Aunt Marie appeared wearing an expression that reminded me of my own mother.
“I have rules.” She looked from me to Seph.
“Mum, you realise we’re both in our fourth decade of being alive.” Seph raised a brow.
“I sometimes wonder how either of you have made it that far. Rule number one: you don’t bring anyone back here. Eliza does not need to be introduced to a random woman, and frankly, neither do I.” Her glare landed on me.
I nodded. I had no problem with that.
“Rule number two: don’t wake anyone up, especially small children, babies and pregnant women. Or me.” She punctuated the sentence by pointing at me.
“Rule number three: if you’re going home with someone you meet, remember what happened to Richard Rockley.” Her hands were on her hips now.
I looked at Seph. I had no idea what happened to Richard Rockley or even who he was.
Seph shook his head. “He was in the same school year as Ava. He went home with two girls one night who he met in a bar: they tied him up and had their wicked way with him, took photos and sent them to various people. They also lost the key of the handcuffs.” He shrugged.
“That doesn’t sound too bad.” I could live with that.
Marie just glared.
“We’ve got it, Mum. No girls back here, be quiet and if we go home with someone, check where they’re putting the key to the handcuffs.” Seph didn’t smile.
Neither did Aunt Marie.
There was a hungover feel to the bar’s atmosphere. Too much Christmas food, too much eggnog. People were smiling and laughing, but there was a sense that no one was up for anything large.
Including Seph.
“You’re scaring off any women so much as looking this way.” I passed him his second beer. “That girl over there’s been making eyes at you for the last twenty minutes. If you smile at her I bet she’ll come over.”
Seph glanced over at the pretty blonde who’d been trying to catch his eye. She looked pleasant enough and wasn’t giving off the bunny boiler vibes. Her friend was a tall brunette, big boobs and big eyes, a lethal combination and I’d given her plenty of smiles.
“Has she?”
“Jesus, Seph, have you forgotten how to live?”
He shook his head and looked over at her, giving that grin I’d seen at least five women melt under.
“You think her handcuffs work?” His words were muttered.
“She looks like she’d need educating in how to use handcuffs. Her friend does not.” The brunette looked like she could teach me a thing or two. “Let’s see if they’re thirsty.”
They stopped talking when we headed over to them, the blonde looking a little embarrassed when she saw Seph, her manner slightly shy.
“Can we get you a drink?” Seph’s charm level went straight to high.
The blonde smiled and looked at him as if he was a Hollywood superstar straight from a superhero set. “I’d love a prosecco.”
He looked to the brunette. “Yourself?”
She flicked her eyes towards me. “Same. Thank you.”
It took me twenty seconds while Seph was at the bar to find out that they were called Mollie and Jemima and were friends from high school, back home for Christmas. Mollie, the blonde, was a financial analyst based in Birmingham, while Jemima, or Jem as she preferred, was a Geography teacher from Canterbury. Both were single. Both were happy when I told them that Seph and I were single too.
Jem was cute. Clever, witty and flirty. She’d broken up with her boyfriend a month before Christmas and had “rebound fuck needed” written all over her.
“Have you ever been serious about anyone?”
I knew from her tone she wasn’t sounding me out to become her next serious boyfriend and I’d already told her about my work relationship, which was about as a deep and meaningful as I was capable of.
“Once.” I had. Once. With a woman whose ring I still owned and address I didn’t have.
“What was she like?”
I shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”
Jem smiled, her hand on my forearm. “I just wondered what a woman would need to have to capture your attention away from your job.”
“I was young and foolish. Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?” Smooth segue, Shay. Smooth.
She giggled. “Almost. I’m hoping for a late Christmas present.”
I could smell her perfume, a subtle scent that was pleasant. Her curves were even more pleasant. “What would that be?”
She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a finger to my lips. “You have to keep it quiet, but Santa forgot to leave me any underwear, so for a late present, I’m hoping for someone to warm me up.”
I had to say, as far as come ons went, this was one of the most original.
She pushed her finger between my lips and gave me a smile that had my cock hard, if it wasn’t already. “No catches. I have condoms. I’m just cross that my ex is still the last guy to give me an orgasm. Can you wipe that from my brain?”
My hand went to her hip, feeling her curves
. Her dress was short and I’d already worked out that it would be easy to push it up over her hips. There was a zip at the back; undoing that would mean I could push it down and see the tits that were now captivating me.
I glanced over at Seph. He was still talking to Mollie, one hand in his pocket, smiling. She was doing her best to flirt, but Seph was definitely off form. I’d seen him take just ten minutes once to talk a girl who looked like an underwear model into visiting the cloakroom with him. That had been the same night he’d gone home with another woman later on and when he’d underlined his man whore status.
I guided Jem over to him, my hand on the small of her back, fingers grazing the top of her ass. “We’re just heading out for twenty minutes.”
Seph grinned and nodded. “Sure. Mollie and I will wait here for you.”
“Okay.” I nodded and raised a brow.
He shook his head. “You go enjoy yourself.”
I was back thirty minutes later with Jem who was finding it difficult to walk and not look like she’d been walking a horse. We’d taken the classy option of finding a disabled bathroom and I’d made good use of a very solid door and the two condoms I’d stored in my wallet, because I wouldn’t trust anyone’s but my own.
Seph had his jacket on and wasn’t holding a beer. He gave me a nod as I came back in, Jemima’s hand giving my arse a swift pinch before heading to Mollie.
“You good to head out? I managed to get an Uber.”
I frowned. Mollie and Jem were giggling together and I could probably guess what about. “Sure. What about Mollie though? She seemed into you.”
He shook his head. “She’s a really nice girl and she suggested we found a quiet spot like you two had, but I’m not interested.”
“You feeling okay?”
“I’m fine.” He shrugged. “Just not interesting in fucking some girl and never seeing her again.”
Which was a change of tune for him. I gave a grunt and found my coat still on the back of a chair. I’d done just that tonight, fucked a girl I wasn’t going to see again, but when you’d married one and hadn’t seen her in the eight years since, it became a bit inconsequential.