by Clare Flynn
Frances is teething at the moment, so I am enduring many a sleepless night. No complaints though as she is generally such a placid and happy-natured baby and I can’t begin to tell you how much joy she has brought to me. It’s hard to credit how much my life has been transformed by Reggie and our unexpected family.
Reggie sends his love. He works so hard but couldn’t bear to be anywhere else or doing anything else. And as long as he’s happy, I’m happy. When I remember how I pushed him away, it makes my blood run cold. I can never thank you enough, dear friend, for helping me realise that he and I were right for each other. What kind of miserable existence would I be living now were it not for him?
Please pass on my thanks to Jasmine for the beautiful watercolour drawing she sent me of the Waterfall Park in George Town. Tell her that, yes, the monkeys are still there. No doubt much smaller than your African baboons! I will drop her a line of proper thanks as soon as I get a moment, but I am scribbling this long overdue missive in a rare interlude while Frances is asleep, and I expect her to wake any minute! I do hope Jasmine is enjoying her new school and has made lots of friends. I’m so glad – as I’m sure you are – that you decided against sending her away to boarding school in England.
I’m still teaching the estate workers’ children in the little school I set up in the kampong. One of the mothers takes care of Frances while I’m teaching the class. I’d like to have the time to teach the women as well – they are all very keen to learn to read – but single-handed, it is too much for me. I’d hoped to lure one of the teachers from my old school in George Town to help out – but what young woman would be willing to be stuck up here so far out of town and having to lodge with us – at least during the week? I can do only what I can. Such a pity and a missed opportunity.
I’ve just heard the dulcet tones of my darling daughter – quite a pair of lungs she has too! So, I will end here and get this in the post as it could be weeks before I get another chance to write. I miss you so much, Evie, and think of you all the time. I am enclosing a snap of Frances for you, as you have not yet had the chance to meet her.
With fondest love – and to Arthur, Jasmine and Hugh
Your loving friend, Mary
* * *
Evie looked at the photo of the baby and smiled. If only Mary were here and she could seek her advice about Jasmine.
* * *
By the time Jasmine arrived home her uniform frock was soaking wet with perspiration and her knee-socks were grubby and sagging around her ankles. Five miles was a long walk in the middle of the day and with few trees to offer shade. Her feet dragged when she stepped into the house her shoes covered in dust from the road. Her plan to creep to her bedroom, wash and change out of her dirty clothes was foiled when she heard her mother calling her from the long stone terrace that wrapped around three sides of the house. Jasmine crossed the entrance hall, her dirty shoes in her hands and stepped out onto the terrace where Evie was sitting at a table.
‘I thought you’d be having a nap,’ Jasmine said, lamely. ‘Don’t you usually after lunch?’
‘Well I’m not today.’ Evie sucked her breath in and studied her daughter’s dishevelled appearance. ‘How did you get home?’
‘I walked.’
‘In this heat! No wonder you look such a state.’ Evie stretched out a hand and gently pushed a stray strand of hair away from Jasmine’s eyes. She gave her a sad smile. ‘I got a letter from the Reverend Mother this morning.’
‘Oh.’ Jasmine lowered her eyes. At least she wouldn’t have to break the news to her stepmother herself.
‘Come here. Sit with me.’ Evie took the girl by the hand and drew her into a seat beside her. ‘You’ve been very unhappy, haven’t you? I’m sorry I hadn’t realised things had got so bad. I’ve been so wrapped up with so many other things when I should have encouraged you to talk to me about it.’
Jasmine had been preparing herself for anger, for disappointment, for reprimands, but had not allowed for the possibility that Evie might instead offer only sympathy. Overwhelmed, she burst into tears.
Evie leaned forward and wrapped Jasmine in her arms, stroking her hair. ‘Oh, my poor darling. I wish you’d felt able to tell me about it. I must have seemed very preoccupied. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t more sympathetic.’
Jasmine tried to sniff back her tears, as she breathed in the familiar scent of her mother’s lily of the valley perfume.
‘It’s not your fault, Mummy. It’s me. I know I should have told you I’d been skipping school, but you and Arthur and Hugh are all so happy here and I didn’t want to complain, but… but… I’m utterly miserable. I hate school. I’m glad they’ve expelled me. The girls are mean, and they talk about me all the time behind my back. And I miss Katy so much. Now she’s gone I can’t bear it anymore. Not only school, but everything. I don’t think I can bear living here anymore.’
3
Arthur Leighton came into the house with Hugh at his side. The boy had only recently stopped demanding a piggy-back from his stepfather as soon as Arthur stepped out of the car each evening. At eight years old, Hugh was balancing a Tigger-like exuberance with the desire to appear more mature.
Evie looked up, smiling, as she moved across the room to embrace her husband. Not a day passed when she didn’t feel thankful that, at last, they were together after their previous marriages, and then separation by the war. She had never stopped believing Arthur was alive, despite evidence to the contrary, and now here they were, living a life Evie had once only dreamed of.
It had already turned dark outside, the sun plunging suddenly behind the hills as it did each day in this equatorial region. One moment daylight, the next almost instant darkness. As was their custom, the Leightons sat outside on the long stone-paved terrace for a pre-dinner ‘sundowner’, gazing across open plains towards the distant hills, a sweeping panorama that took the breath away. Beyond the low hedge that defined the property’s extent, zebra moved slowly towards the nearby water hole, their white stripes illuminated by the moon, forming ghostly patterns. When she and the children had first joined Arthur here in Kenya, Evie had experienced a mixture of awe and nervousness at the proximity of wild animals, only ever seen before as a child when her father had taken her to London Zoo. How easy it was to become accustomed to such novelties – but she would never tire of the sight.
Hugh was bursting to tell them both his news. He had today come second in the hundred-yard dash, a practice run for his school sports’ day in two weeks. ‘I know I can win it on the day. I was only the teeniest microsecond behind Roger Cunningham and I’m getting faster all the time.’
The boy beamed at his parents. How like his father he was in his looks and his love of sport – but how different in nature. Douglas Barrington, Evie’s first husband, had been a quixotic character, his unpredictable moods swinging from cold aloofness to a desperate affection for Evie that he struggled to express – revealing it rarely and only fully on his death bed. Evie wanted to ensure her son would not develop the bleak, gloomier side of his father’s personality. On the other hand, the heavy dark hair and fine features were going to be assets to Hugh as he grew up and made her think with tenderness of Doug and how hard she had tried to love him and be a good wife in spite of her growing feelings for Arthur.
‘Maybe Roger’s getting faster too,’ said Evie gently, wary of Hugh’s expectations being disappointed. ‘And we’re very proud of you, anyway, aren’t we, Arthur?’
‘Bursting with pride.’ He tousled the boy’s hair. ‘Perhaps we can do some training together at the weekend. See if we can shave that teeniest microsecond off your time.’
‘Thanks, Dad! That would be topping.’ Hugh’s eyes widened in delight. The boy was revelling in having a father. It was less than a year since his mother had married Arthur. He had been a baby when Doug died.
‘Don’t we have a tennis game with the Hendersons?’ asked Evie, concerned that there wouldn’t be time for Arthur to keep his promise.
‘Hugh and I can get up early on Saturday and get some practice in before breakfast while it’s still cool, can’t we Hugh?
Evie laughed. ‘We’ll all get up early. We can watch you race and then have breakfast on the terrace here. We don’t have to be at the tennis club until ten.’
Arthur looked around. ‘Where is Jasmine?’
‘She had a headache and decided to have a lie down before dinner.’
‘She’s been looking rather pale lately. Is she all right?’ Arthur’s eyes were full of concern.
Evie sighed. Nodding her head almost imperceptibly in the direction of Hugh, she mouthed the words, ‘We’ll talk later.’
They sipped their drinks, the croaking of tree frogs and the buzz of cicadas competing with the sneering calls of a group of squabbling go-away birds in the trees beside the house. As they were about to head indoors for the evening meal, Jasmine stepped onto the veranda.
‘Hey!’ called Arthur. ‘We missed you, Jazz.’ He flung an arm around her with casual affection.
Jasmine jumped away from him as though she’d been burnt and Evie saw the hurt register on her husband’s face. She sent him a look that said not to ask, so Arthur said nothing, and the family went into the cool of the dining room.
Jasmine’s mood coloured the atmosphere, and they ate their light supper in silence, punctuated only by the ticking of the clock and the occasional chatter from Hugh about his running training and the form of his rival, Roger Cunningham. Eventually, the boy asked to be excused in order to finish off his homework.
As soon as Hugh had left the room Jasmine released a long sigh. She looked across the table at Arthur. Speaking so softly it was hard to hear her words, she said, ‘I’ve been expelled from school.’
There was a moment’s silence. Jasmine stared down at her plate and Evie looked anxiously between her daughter and her husband.
Then Arthur burst out laughing. ‘What did you do? Blow up the chemistry lab?’
A smile flitted briefly across Jasmine’s face. ‘They don’t have a chemistry lab. The nuns don’t hold with that sort of thing. Not suitable for girls. The only science we do is Domestic Science.’
Arthur glanced at Evie. ‘Then it’s a good job they’ve expelled you. I’d no idea they believed in such old-fashioned nonsense. We’ll find you a better school. Maybe back in England.’ He looked again at Evie. ‘What do you think, Evie? You’re very quiet.’
Before Evie could answer, Jasmine spoke again. ‘I’m not going to England. And I don’t want to go to another school. I don’t want to go to school at all.’
Evie put a hand on Arthur’s arm. ‘The other girls have been ganging up on her. Ever since Katy Grenville left.’
Jasmine interrupted. ‘I hate them all. They’re stupid and shallow and petty-minded. And I hate being here in Nairobi.’ She began to cry. ‘I’ve tried. I’ve really tried, but it’s no good. I can’t stand it. The dust. The endless plains. And I miss the sea so much. It’s nearly four hundred miles away! In Penang we could go to the beach every day and the sea was all around us.’ She gave a loud sob. ‘Oh, Arthur, can’t you ask them to give you your old job back? Please!’
‘Jasmine!’ A sudden anger seared through Evie’s body. How dare she ask that of Arthur? How dare she assume that her wishes should be paramount? ‘Stop that at once. You’ve no right to ask Arthur that and I’ve already told you it’s out of the question. You need to grow up and show some common sense.’
Jasmine pushed back her chair and got up from the table. ‘I hate you too. Nobody understands me. I wish I were dead.’ She ran out of the room and her bedroom door slammed a few moments later.
Evie let out a long sigh. ‘She’s impossible.’
‘She’s unhappy.’ Arthur placed his hand over hers. ‘At sixteen there were probably times when you thought the whole world was against you.’
‘No, I didn’t. Not until seventeen. That was when my father took his own life and my mother abandoned me and I realised the whole world actually was against me. Jasmine is behaving like a spoilt brat.’ Evie cringed. The last thing she wanted was to quarrel with Arthur.
He took her hand in his and stroked it. ‘Jasmine is neither spoilt not bratty. And to be fair to her, she’s been through a lot. Apart from anything else she’s had to get used to me butting into your family and–’
‘Jasmine adores you. She’s certainly not unhappy about us marrying. That’s one thing I have got right in her eyes.’ Evie looked up at him, aware that her eyes were welling up. ‘I’ve been a bad mother to her. I should have seen the signs of her unhappiness and tried to talk to her about it before it got to this stage.’
‘Stop being so hard on yourself, my darling. You’ve been an exemplary mother to her. But she’s sixteen and that’s what they’re like at that age. Moody. Unpredictable. She’ll get over it.’
‘But she’s due to sit her School Certificate next year. We can’t let her throw it all away. Jasmine’s far too intelligent for that.’
‘Better not to rush into any decision. If she stays home with you for a while it will give her time to think and make up her mind what she wants to do.’
‘That’s not the problem – or rather it is. Her mind is well and truly made up. There are two things she wants to do with her life. Become a painter and return to Penang.’
‘The painting I understand,’ he said, thoughtfully. ‘She’s very talented. But Penang? She was so young when she lived there. I imagine she’s feeling nostalgic for her childhood not for the island. Besides, nothing is the same in Penang anymore. Not since the Japs ruined it all. And then the British Military Authority made a right mess of things.’ A cloud passed across his face, darkening his features and Evie felt a twinge of pain. She knew he hated to be reminded of the war and whatever he had gone through, fighting behind the lines and then during his subsequent capture and imprisonment by the Japanese.
‘She’s been back there with me since. She’s seen how it is now. It hasn’t deterred her.’ Evie turned her face up to his and kissed him softly on the lips. ‘Besides, I remember someone sitting beside me on a beach once, telling me how Africa was in his blood and how much he missed it and longed to return there.’
Arthur pulled back slightly and looked into her eyes. ‘Do you feel like her too? Do you want to go back to Penang?’
‘No!’ She could hear the explosive strength of her. ‘Although I’d go anywhere if it was with you, my love. Even back to dirty old London or boring Perth. But I can honestly say that I have never been happier than I am now. Here. I have no wish at all to go back to steamy Penang. If we stay in Nairobi for the rest of our lives, I couldn’t be happier.’ She kissed him again. ‘Now why don’t you go and sort us out a nightcap and I’ll join you in a minute on the veranda. I want to look in on Jasmine first. Try and make my peace with her.’ She turned to go, then called back over her shoulder, ‘The post is on the table in the study in case there’s anything you need to look at urgently. Mostly invitations though, apart from the letter from the school. And there’s one from Mary you may want to read.’
Jasmine was already asleep – or possibly feigning it – when Evie looked in on her. Evie eased the sheet up over her daughter’s shoulders and dropped a kiss on her brow, pushing back a strand of hair from the girl’s eyes. ‘Everything will seem better in the morning, darling,’ she whispered, in a rush of tenderness.
When she returned to the veranda, Arthur was reading Mary’s letter, so Evie picked up the drink he’d prepared for her and sipped it while he finished. The sounds of the African night wrapped around them – the frog chorus, the distant soft rumbling and bellowing of animals at the waterhole and the occasional bark of a hyena. Above them the clear inky sky was peppered with stars. She shivered and reached for the shawl Gichinga had laid out for her.
Arthur looked up, folded the letter, put it back in its envelope and handed it to her. ‘Well there’s your answer,’ he said.
‘Answer to what?’
‘To what we need to do about Jasmine.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Send her to stay with Mary and Reggie. Sounds like Mary would love some female company. Jasmine could give her a hand with the baby and the village school. And if we arrange for a correspondence course, she can even keep up with her own school studies. And who better to support her with that than Mary, as a teacher.’
‘But how can I possibly send our daughter across the ocean, thousands of miles away from us? And what if Mary isn’t prepared to take her on?’
‘You can let her go because you love her. It doesn’t have to be forever. It will help her get whatever it is she feels about Penang out of her system or if not, it will give her what she truly wants. Would you deny her that?’
Evie let the thought play around her head. ‘Of course, I wouldn’t. But, Arthur, she’s only sixteen.’
‘She’ll be safe enough with the Hyde-Underwoods.’ He reached for her hand. ‘And you could always make the trip with her. To settle her in. Make sure she’s not having second thoughts. It would be a chance for you to catch up with Mary and meet the new baby. And weren’t you saying there were still some matters outstanding on Douglas’s estate? You could see the lawyer at the same time. You and Jasmine could stay in George Town before you drop her at Bella Vista. Enjoy a few days at the beach.’
‘I can’t abandon you and Hugh.’
‘You wouldn’t be abandoning us. It would just be for a few weeks. Hugh and I will get along famously together. He’ll be at school, and at the weekends he can come along to the tennis club and the pool. Not to mention all the running training we can get done.’ He grinned at her. ‘We’ll have a wonderful time together. Even though I’ll miss you like crazy.’