CHAPTER II.
"It is easier to prevent ill habits than to break them."--OLDPROVERB.
I must say that Joseph _was_ rather a stupid boy. He was only a yearyounger than me, but I never could make him understand exactly what Iwanted him to do when we played together; and he was always saying,"Oh, I say, look here, Selina!" and proposing some silly plan of hisown. But he was very good-natured, and when we were alone I let him beuncle to the dolls. When we spent the day with Maud Mary, however, wenever let him play with the baby-house; but we allowed him to be thepostman and the baker, and people of that sort, who knock and ring,and we sent him messages.
During the first week of our visit to Lady Elizabeth, the weather wasso fine that Joseph and I played all day long in the garden. Then itbecame rainy, and we quarrelled over the old swing and the imperfectbackgammon board in the lumber-room, where we were allowed to amuseourselves. But one morning when we went to our play-room, afterdrilling with Sergeant Walker, Joseph found a model fortress andwooden soldiers and cannon in one corner of the room; and I found aDutch market, with all kinds of wooden booths, and little tables tohave tea at in another. They were presents from my godmother; andthey were far the best kind of toys we had ever had, you could do somany things with them.
Joseph was so happy with his soldiers that he never came near theDutch fair; and at other times he was always bothering to be allowedto play with the dolls. At first I was very glad, for I was afraid hewould be coming and saying, "Oh, I say, Selina," and suggestingthings; and I wanted to arrange the shops my own way. But when theywere done, and I was taking the dolls from one booth to another toshop, I did think it seemed very odd that Joseph should not even wantto walk through the fair. And when I gave him leave to be ashopkeeper, and to stand in front of each booth in turn, he did notseem at all anxious to come; and he would bring a cannon with him, andhide it behind his back when I came to buy vegetables for the dolls'dinners.
We quarrelled about the cannon. I said no one ever heard of agreengrocer with a cannon in his shop; and Joseph said it couldn'tmatter if the greengrocer stood in front of the cannon so as to hideit. So I said I wouldn't have a cannon in my fair at all; and Josephsaid he didn't want to come to my fair, for he liked his fortress muchbetter, and he rattled out, dragging his cannon behind him, andknocked down Adelaide Augusta, the gutta-percha doll, who was leaningagainst the fishmonger's slab, with her chin on the salmon.
It was very hard, and I said so; and then Joseph said there wereplenty of times when I wouldn't let him play with the dolls; and Isaid that was just it--when I didn't want him to he wanted, and when Iwanted him to he wouldn't, and that he was very selfish.
So at last he put away his cannon, and came and played at shops; buthe was very stupid, and would look over his shoulder at the fortresswhen he ought to have been pretending to sell; and once, when I hadleft the fair, he got his cannon back and shot peas out of it, so thatall the fowls fell off the real hooks in the poulterer's shop, andsaid he was bombarding the city.
I was very angry, and said, "I shall go straight down, and complain togodmamma," and I went.
The worst of it was that only that very morning Lady Elizabeth hadsaid to me, "Remember one thing, my dear. I will listen to nocomplaints whatever. No grumbles either from you or from Joseph. Ifyou want anything that you have not got, and will ask for it, I willdo my best for you, as my little guests; and if it is right andreasonable, and fair to both, you shall have what you want. But youmust know your own mind when you ask, and make the best of what I cando for you. I will hear no general complaints whatever."
Remembering this, I felt a little nervous when I was fairly in thedrawing-room, and Lady Elizabeth had laid down her glasses to hearwhat I had to say.
"Do you want anything, my dear?" said she.
I began to complain--that Joseph was so stupid; that it seemed soprovoking; that I did think it was very unkind of him, etc.; but LadyElizabeth put up her hand.
"My dear Selina, you have forgotten what I told you. If there isanything that an old woman like me can do to make your father's childhappy, do not be afraid to ask for it, but I will not have grumblingin the drawing-room. By all means make up your mind as to what youwant, and don't be afraid to ask your old godmother. But if she thinksit right to refuse, or you do not think it right to ask, you must makethe best of matters as they stand, and keep your good humour and yourgood manners like a lady."
I felt puzzled. When I complained to nurse that Joseph "was sotiresome," she grumbled back again that "she never knew suchchildren," and so forth. It is always easy to meet grievance withgrievance, but I found that it was not so easy to make up my mind andpluck up my courage to ask in so many words for what I wanted.
"Shall I ask Joseph to put away his cannon and come and play at yourgame for an hour now, my dear? I will certainly forbid him to fireinto your shop."
This did not quite satisfy me. As a matter of fact, Joseph had lefthis fortress to play with me; and I did not really think he woulddischarge his cannon at the poulterer's again. But I thought myselfhardly used, and I wanted my godmother to think so too, and to scoldJoseph. What else I wanted, I did not feel quite sure.
"I wish you would speak to Joseph," I said. "He would attend to you ifyou told him how selfish and stupid he is."
"My dear, I never offered to complain to Joseph, but I will order himnot to molest you, and I will ask him to play with you."
"I'm sure I don't want him to play with me, unless he can play nicely,and invent things for the dolls to say, as Maud Mary would," was myreply; for I was getting thoroughly vexed.
"Then I will tell him that unless he can play your game as you wishit, he had better amuse himself with his own toys. Is there anythingelse that you want, my dear?"
I could not speak, for I was crying, but I sobbed out that "I missedMaud Mary so."
"Who is Maud Mary, Selina?"
"Maud Mary Ibbetson, my particular friend--my _very_ particularfriend," I explained.
I spoke warmly, for at that moment the memory of Maud Mary seemedadorable, and I longed to pour my complaints into her sympathetic ear.Besides, I had another reason for regretting that she was not with me.When we were together, it was she, as a rule, who had new and handsometoys to exhibit, whilst I played the humbler part of admirer. But ifshe had been with me, then, what would not have been my triumph indisplaying the Dutch fair! The longer I thought of her the faster mytears fell, but they did not help me to think of anything definite toask for; and when Lady Elizabeth said, "would you like to go home, mydear? or do you want me to ask your friend to stay with you?" I hadthe grace to feel ashamed of my peevishness, and to thank my godmotherfor her kindness, and to protest against wanting anything more. I onlyadded, amid my subsiding sobs, that "it did seem such a thing," when Ihad got a Dutch fair to play at dolls in, that Joseph should be sostupid, and that dear Maud Mary, who would have enjoyed it so much,should not be able to see it.
Melchior's Dream and Other Tales Page 13