“What’s the special occasion?” she asked.
“No reason.”
Dad came in and dropped off the salad. He has been grinning since he got home. He went back to the kitchen. He was such a traitor.
“I just had a good day, that’s all.”
She used her mom-vision, and I tried not to squirm. “Any details you’d like to share?”
I shrugged. “It was just a good day.” For example, I didn’t end up teleporting into anyone’s bathroom.
Dad returned with plates and we all sat down.
Hey, I signed. It okay if I go study at Meeples tomorrow? After school. Back for dinner.
They exchanged a quick glance, doing their parent telepathy thing before my dad agreed it would be fine.
“On your own or with a friend?” my mother asked and signed.
“A friend,” I said and signed right back. “Meeples is a great place to study.”
“Ah,” she said. Something in the way she said it made me look up at her, and her smile went right to her eyes. Uh-oh. Dita Wallace’s daughter? I swear she took joy in fingerspelling the name like that.
I swallowed some salad. Son. Yes.
“Ah,” she said again. Her tone rose a little bit higher.
“I need water,” I said and signed, getting up from the table and heading into the kitchen. I poured a glass of water and tried to force the blush I knew was spreading up my neck to go away. I could hear them both chuckling in the dining room.
Parents are the worst.
To-Do
X Bearded rando. Sub? Talk to principal?
Rework speech for Rainbow Club
Meeples with Sportsball
Cole the Teenage Freak
X Concentrate at doors. All the doors. Every time. You got this!
Locked doors. One way?
X Blood sugar? Hungry? Definitely hungry.
CARRY YOUR PHONE.
Doors. Again. You don’t got this. EVEN THE SHOWER.
No door required for exit?
Pull getting stronger. Bad? Good?
Popping thing. Like fireworks.
Places I’ve never been!
Beardy McBeardface can tell?
Stop practicing. Just stop doing it at all.
Seventeen
It wasn’t until I sat down for the final official meeting of our Rainbow Club that it really, really hit me. This was it. Next week exams, and then…
Well, then summer. Fine. We’d all be around for summer.
But after summer?
It would be over. High school.
I’d been planning on that moment for…well, forever. And now?
I looked around the room. This year there had mostly been the six of us. Me, Nat, Lindsey, Rhonda, Grayson, and Alec, and for a lot of this year, no Alec. Grayson and Nat would still be here next year, but I didn’t know if the club could make it with just two members. Then again, we’d only had four last year before Lindsey and Rhonda had joined.
Nat caught me looking at them and tilted their head.
“Just wondering what you’ll do next year,” I said.
They smiled. “I have plans. Mr. Jones said he’ll help make sure the club gets noise for all the new grade nines.”
“It’s going to be weird not seeing you people,” I said a little louder.
“Don’t you dare,” Lindsey said, raising one finger at me from across the circle of chairs. “No crying. We’ve got the party after exams. Save it for then.”
“Fine, fine.”
Nat read through the minutes, and then we went over the specifics about our party at Meeples. The other schools were carpooling, since it was technically going to be after the school year, and we’d get there first to help Candice set a few things up.
“You’re still good to do an end-of-the-year speech?” Nat said.
“Yeah,” I said, opening my bullet journal and reminding myself to go over the speech again.
And then, just like that, we were done.
“And that,” Nat said, with a little smile, “is the queer agenda for the year.”
“Ten percent is not enough, recruit, recruit, recruit!” Grayson chanted.
The rest of us applauded.
After that, we sat around talking, and I pulled out my phone to get a couple of shots so I could sketch them later. Alec and Rhonda listening to Lindsey. Grayson laughing and Nat trying hard not to give in and laugh at whatever inappropriate thing he’d just said. Then I stopped being a wallflower and joined in. Lindsey was deciding what games we should focus on, and I was all about making sure they weren’t all Settlers of Catan, because I might be okay with losing nonstop to her, but we should at least let some of the guests from other schools win something.
It went on like that for a while, and then it was done. No one seemed to want to be the first person to go. Lindsey and Rhonda had stood up, which had made us all get up and get ready, but we were all hesitating again.
I went over to Nat, catching them alone. “So, can I ask what happened with Kanata now?”
They blinked, and a little flush crept up their cheeks. They glanced around, but no one was watching us.
“Their leader and I got in a bit of a thing last Pride,” Nat said. “I think she decided they were busy because of that.”
“A thing?” I lowered my voice. I tried to remember back to the summer, and I did kind-of-sort-of remember something. “The ‘Love Is Love’ thing, right?”
Nat nodded. “I mentioned it wasn’t particularly trans or ace inclusive, and she got upset.”
“Wow,” I said. “And she got mad?”
“Really mad. Like, ‘I was attacking her in public’ mad.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “Why didn’t you tell us?”
Nat took a second to think. To be honest, I loved that about them. They seemed to be capable of organizing their thoughts in all these levels that I didn’t have access to. It would have been intimidating if they weren’t so freaking willing to teach all the time.
Lindsey and Rhonda waved, finally breaking the invisible seal of the room. We waved back.
“You need a ride?” Alec asked me.
“No,” I said. “I’m good.”
“Could you drop me off?” Grayson asked him.
Both Nat and I tensed, but Alec just nodded. “Sure.”
They left together.
“Okay,” I said. “That just happened.”
“I’m glad.” Nat said. “I know Grayson wanted to apologize, and I don’t know if he already did or not. If he didn’t, I’m guessing he’s about to.”
“Wow,” I said.
“It felt like I screwed up,” Nat said.
It took me a second to reconnect what they’d said with our previous conversation. The ‘Love Is Love’ Pride thing. “You? But she’s the one who didn’t clue in.”
Nat shrugged. “I know. But at the time…” They exhaled. “You all kind of look at me like I’ve got all the answers.”
“Because you usually do.”
Nat blushed again. “Thank you. But I don’t. I could have sent her a private message. I was just super tired. Like, Pride was so exhausting. It’s supposed to be this day where I get to be me, but so much didn’t include me. And her post was the final straw on a bad day. I kind of blew the delivery. My friend Talia said I hit her with a clue-by-four.”
We laughed, but I could see they were sort of forcing it.
“New agenda item,” I said.
They looked at me.
“This year, when Pride comes around, I’ll start a group message with all of us. If stuff happens, we’ll handle it as a group. That way it doesn’t have to be you doing all the speaking all the time. It’s not fair.”
“That would be nice,” Nat said.
“Besides,” I said, “imagine how much better it would have gone if Grayson had handled it.”
They laughed, a surprised, loud sound that sort of escaped them without any warning.
“I’m totally g
etting better at this joke thing,” I said.
They swatted me.
When the door opened, I was almost not surprised to see Malik. He smiled, just a little bit awkwardly. “Sorry, am I early?”
“No,” Nat said. “We were done.” They glanced at me, and with their back to Malik, one eyebrow crept up. Seriously. It was an epidemic. “I’ll see you at the party.”
“See you,” I said.
They left, and Malik offered up another smile as they passed.
I picked up my bag. “Everyone was a bit sad,” I said. “No one wanted to be the first to leave.”
“Ah,” he said. He looked around the music room for a second.
I pulled out my phone. “I’m just going to remind my parents we’re heading to Meeples and then we can go. I don’t need them forgetting and blowing up my phone.”
“Okay,” he said. Did he sound nervous? That was dumb. Why would he be nervous?
But I felt a little jolt of nerves in my stomach as I typed out the text. That didn’t make sense. I mean, we were going to hang out and study at Meeples. It wasn’t like it was a date.
* * *
By the time we got to Meeples, the sky had gotten a bit grim. We ducked inside just in time to see the first of the rain come down behind us. Candice waved us in, and we waited for her at the counter as she finished serving her tables.
“Hello again,” she said to Malik once she was free.
“Hi,” Malik said.
“Back for more study time?” Her smile was genuine, but I wanted to head off the sparkle in her eyes fast.
“Yep. I’m down for a mocha and a lemon square,” I said, turning to Malik.
“Me too,” he said.
Once Candice cut the squares, we took them and found our own table. We sat, and I avoided glancing at Malik. It was stupid, but I couldn’t stop myself. I stared at my bag, pulled out my books as though they’d vanish if I didn’t keep my eyes on them at all times, and even checked my phone, putting it on the table beside my notes. I took a bite of my lemon square and studied the plate like it would be on my exams.
“Here you go,” Candice said. She put down our mochas and gave me another sparkly eyed smile before she walked off.
“She’s really nice,” Malik said.
I glanced at him. Had his skin always had that bronze undertone? He looked…warm. I was pretty sure my own face was blazing red.
“I’m a fan,” I said, and then I winced, because who says that about middle-aged women who run geeky bookstore gaming cafés? Well, other than me. Without really thinking about it, I started fingerspelling. Geek. Nerd. Game.
“What does that mean?” Malik said.
My hand froze. “Oh. I’m fingerspelling.”
He smiled. “I’ve seen you do that before.”
He had? Oh God. “It’s a nervous habit,” I said, and then I wished I hadn’t because—
“You’re nervous?”
—because that.
I blew out a breath. “Kind of?”
He just waited, looking at me. Big brown eyes. Patient smile. If he did the one-eyebrow thing right now, I’d probably fall off my chair. Thankfully, he didn’t.
“Maybe more anxious than nervous,” I said, hedging a bit. “I’ve been kind of procrastinating a lot lately.” Okay, that wasn’t hedging. It was outright lying. Teleporting all over the place, weird bearded men following me…That didn’t really fall under “procrastination.” But it did cut into my study plans.
“I hear that,” Malik said, taking a bite of his lemon square. I tried not to stare at his mouth. My fingers moved. Mouth.
“You’re doing it again.”
“I am.”
“How was the club?”
He changed the conversation, almost like he was being kind or something. I was happy to accept it, though. “Weird. Sad. But good.”
And there was the eyebrow. I focused on staying upright in my chair. “Sad?”
“Last one,” I said. “I mean, not really. I’ll see everyone at the end-of-the-year party, but it was the last official meeting. I know I have all summer, too, but…” I shrugged. “But that was it.”
“It was like that with the last game, too,” he said.
I smiled. I liked the analogy. “I guess they are kind of my team, right?” Then I chuckled. “Though the thought of us all trying to do something coordinated and sportsball-like is unlikely.”
“I sure wouldn’t want to face off against Alec,” Malik said.
“He’s a teddy bear,” I said. It just popped right out. I held up one finger. “You cannot tell him I ever said that.”
Malik laughed. “I promise.”
The weird whatever-it-was had faded. I exhaled again and opened my books. Malik did the same, and we got down to some serious study time. I stared at the math and felt a deep, bone-numbing boredom settle in even before I’d gotten through a single page of my notes. There was just nothing enjoyable about calculus.
Even when you had the cutest guy in school sitting across from you.
We were on our second mochas when my phone pinged, and I saw the text from my mother.
It’s pouring down. Do you and your friend need a ride home?
I glanced out the window. Mom was right. Rain was sheeting outside.
“My mom’s offering a ride home,” I said.
Malik hesitated, looked at the rain, then nodded. “Okay. That’d be great.”
I tapped out a reply on my phone. Okay. Please do not embarrass me or him.
Jann Arden sing-along it is, she sent back. On my way. She must have been late leaving work again.
“Fair warning,” I said. “My mom has mom-taste in music.”
Malik smiled.
* * *
It turned out to be a bluff. No music was playing when we threw ourselves into Mom’s car, dashing out when we saw her pull up in front of Meeples. I took the back seat so Malik could give her directions to his place.
“Mom, this is Malik. Malik, this is my mom.” I worked hard to put the right amount of this is no big deal, Mother, please do not make this a big deal into my voice.
“Call me Jennifer,” my mom said. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Hi.” Malik bobbed his head. “Thank you for the ride.” Man, he was polite. She was going to eat that up.
“It’s no trouble,” she said, but I could tell she’d really liked that he’d thanked her. “Where am I headed?”
Malik gave her his address and told her the best way to get there, and she pulled back out into traffic.
After a moment, she glanced at him. “So, Cole says your mother is an author?”
Malik nodded. “She uses a pen name. Dita Wallace.”
“I’ve read her.” She met my gaze in the rearview. “She’s really good.”
“I’ll tell her,” Malik said. “Thank you.”
Okay, this wasn’t so bad.
“So,” my mother said, and I held my breath. “What are your plans after graduation?”
And here it came. I tried to catch my mother’s eyes in the rearview again, but she avoided me, smiling and glancing at Malik.
“Uh,” he said. “I might be taking a gap year.”
Really? I hadn’t known that.
“Oh?” My mom said. It didn’t come out judgy or anything—thank God—just interested.
“I have a couple of ideas, I just don’t know which one to do. I applied everywhere. College, to U of T, and Ottawa, and Carleton. My uncle offered me a job with his crew,” Malik said. “He’s a contractor, and an electrician. They do renovations and stuff. For the summer at least. It’s just gopher work. I won’t get to do a lot of construction stuff, but I can stay with him and figure out if it’s what I want to do. If I do, then I’ll go to school in September. If I don’t…” He bit his bottom lip. “I can defer. My mom says it’s just as important to figure out what you don’t want to do.”
“That’s smart,” my mother said, and now she made eye contact with me ag
ain. Pointed eye contact. What was happening? “I did most of a psychology degree before I figured out I didn’t want to be a psychiatrist.”
“Yeah,” Malik said. “It’s a lot of money and time and…” He shrugged, like he was embarrassed to admit it. “I don’t really know what I want to do.”
“What was the other idea?”
Okay, enough was enough. “I feel like I should have warned you,” I said, leaning forward. “My mother interrogates all my friends.”
My mother rolled her eyes, but Malik laughed. “No, it’s cool. The other idea is the military.”
Whoa. I blinked. “Really?”
He looked back at me. “Yeah, like my dad. It’s why we moved here. But I’m only seventeen. You can join at seventeen, but most of the other guys would be older than me, so…” He shrugged again. “Gap year, again. Wait a year or two, stay in shape, maybe do something in college first. I like working with my hands, and his driver is really cool, so the motor pool could be cool.”
“Your dad has a driver?”
Malik smiled. “He’s a general.”
“Whoa,” I said. “I did not know that.”
“Well,” my mother said. “It sounds to me like you’ve got a lot of good options to choose from, and it’s always great to have a backup idea in place.”
I eyed her. That sounded a bit directed. And not at Malik.
“This is me,” Malik said, pointing to his house.
My mother pulled into his driveway, and Malik thanked her again.
“You’re very welcome,” she said.
We both got out into the rain. Malik gave me a quick nod. “See you tomorrow.”
“See you,” I said. He went inside, and I got into the front seat of the car.
“So,” my mother said, smiling at me.
“Stop,” I said. “Whatever you are about to say, or ask, or think, just stop.”
Exit Plans for Teenage Freaks Page 13