Bloodrunner Bear

by T. S. Joyce

  “Alana, he’s a fucking shifter.”

  “Mom said fucking!” Harley sang from the other room.

  With a mom growl, Lissa leaned forward. “What the hell are you thinking, Alana? They’re dangerous. Do you not remember Shane?”

  “He was a werewolf, and you dated him for three weeks.”

  “And he was awful. He wasn’t right in the head. I could see it in his eyes. They were empty. He said all the right things, but meant none of them. He was way too rough. He was terrifying, Alana.”

  “And he was a werewolf,” she repeated through gritted teeth.

  “What’s the difference? He’s a shifter! Your children won’t just be at risk of having a cleft palate, Alana. They will have an animal inside of them.”

  “Can you just let your guard down and listen to me for a few minutes? Save your judgement because it will only make me shut down, and I really, really need to talk to someone about this. Someone who isn’t part of his crew and doesn’t have some stake in this.”

  Lissa looked pissed, but at least she stopped herself from saying so by sipping her coffee and glaring over the rim.

  “He makes me feel good.”

  “Well, they are notorious for being rutting beasts, so of course the sex is memorable.”

  “That’s not what I’m talking about. He makes me happy. I can’t keep my eyes off his firehouse down the street from my shop when he’s on shift. I can’t help but worry for him when he’s out on a call. I get giggly and giddy when he shows up in my café, and when he touches my lower back, or hugs me, or kisses me, I feel happy. I mean really happy. Like the kind that changes your life and makes you see the world differently.” The fire lessened in Lissa’s dark eyes, so Alana pushed on. “He’s not what I imagined for myself when we made that stupid list in college, and he doesn’t meet all the requirements, but I’m starting to think he was meant to come into my life and shake things up. Like he was meant to make me feel alive and whole and destroy my preconceived notion of the perfect man. He isn’t perfect. He’s got tattoos all over his body, and piercings, and he’s a shifter. But he’s also caring, loyal, strong, and respectful of me and proud to bring me into his crew. And last night I…” She should stop now, but a sudden urge to share everything with Lissa like they had done when they were kids washed through her. “I bit him.”

  “Bit…him?”

  “Yes. I gave him a claiming mark because it felt right and my heart was in it, and he feels really big, Lissa. Really important. He feels like my future. And I don’t think he will be able to let me stay human if I choose him. He has a problem with his animal and wants to Turn me. He wants to claim me. And it’s terrifying, but at the same time, it’s thrilling that the man I love wants me to be his so badly he can’t help himself around me. I didn’t find him early like you did. Year after year I waited for Prince Charming to come because that’s what everyone said would happen. ‘You’ll meet someone who’s just right for you, Alana. When the time comes, you’ll find your man.’ And here I am, thirty, no kids, at a crossroads, having accepted that I’ll never have what you do, and Aaron walks into my life and turns everything upside down. I don’t know what to do, Lissa. Do I leave Bryson City like I’d planned and give up something that could be amazing because I’m afraid? Or do I stay and see this thing through?”

  Lissa huffed a breath and sank back in her chair, crossed her arms. She blinked hard and shook her head like she was disappointed, but then she uttered a combination of words that shattered Alana’s view of everything. “Todd and I are separated.”

  “What?”

  Lissa licked her bottom lip, checked the open doorway to the living room, and lowered her voice. “For the last year, he’s been living in an apartment a couple blocks away.”

  Horrified, Alana asked, “Why didn’t you tell me? I mean…” Holy shit, what? “I’ve been coming here, picking up the kids from school so you could get date nights together. Lissa, why didn’t you tell me?” she repeated louder.

  “Because then it would be real! I didn’t tell anyone. Not you or dad. We haven’t told Todd’s mom either. The girls don’t know what to make of it, but we’re trying really hard to make our marriage work.”

  “Are you getting divorced?”

  “No.” Lissa winced. “I don’t know. Maybe. We’re trying really hard to hold onto each other, but somewhere along the way, he fell out of love with me. As hurt as I was the first time he told me that, I feel the same now. We’re in it for the girls right now.”

  “So, your date nights?”

  “Sometimes we go out and try to rekindle things, and sometimes he doesn’t feel like working on it and I go to a movie by myself. We meet up at the end of the night for the show. He’s still devoted to co-parenting the girls.”

  Shocked, Alana ran her shaking hand over her forehead. “Shit, Lissa.”

  “I know. It’s a mess, but it’s my mess.”

  “No, it shouldn’t only be on you. Look, I know you’re tough, but sharing the stuff you struggle with doesn’t make you weak, Lissa. You aren’t my mother. You’re my sister, and I wish you would’ve let me in. I wish you would’ve let me hug you and listen to you and not feel like such a damned outsider in your life.”

  “The point in me telling you… I don’t ever remember feeling what you described with Aaron about Todd. I don’t remember that passionate, heart-pounding lust, love, infatuation, excitement you described. I liked him, we were compatible in bed, and we were good at conversation. When we graduated college, we were supposed to get married, have kids, and live happily ever after because that’s what people did. Those were the logical steps. And I felt so lucky because my life was perfect. But now, looking back, I wish I had waited for someone who made my heart race. And I think Todd is missing that, too. So…okay, Aaron’s a shifter. If he makes you happy, maybe you should give him a chance and stay in Bryson City. See where your life can go. Maybe it’ll be scary and overwhelming.” Lissa leaned forward and lowered her voice to a whisper. “But maybe being with him will be the greatest adventure of your life.”

  Alana released a relieved breath and reached across the table, clutched onto her sister’s hands. Lissa would never know how much her acceptance meant to her because Alana didn’t have the ability to fully put it into words right now. Not when she was choked up like this. But as Lissa’s eyes filled with tears, Alana thought maybe she understood anyway.

  “Fuck Todd, and fuck date night,” Alana murmured. “Get him over here to watch the kids and let’s go out to a movie, just you and me.”

  Lissa smiled emotionally. “Really?”

  “Hell, yeah. We’ll go drinking afterwards, cut loose. Be wild for a night like we used to and forget all the stress. What do you say?”

  Lissa nodded, brought Alana’s hands to her cheek, and rested them there. And after a moment, she sniffed and nodded. “I’d really, really like that.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “I can’t believe I did that,” Aaron muttered for the tenth time since this afternoon.

  Ryder popped the top of a beer and handed it to him, then sank into the rocking chair beside him with a sigh. “Relationships aren’t easy, but I’m telling you, don’t count Alana out yet.” Ryder took a long swig of his beer and stretched one leg out, rocked the chair under him gently. “She’s tough, man. I sensed it from day one, and so did Wes.”

  Aaron clicked his tongue against his teeth and shook his head. “Wes was fucking right with that dream of his.”

  “Okay, but let’s dissect that dream. Nobody knows how his visions work in the first place, and even if it was a hundred percent accurate, he dreamed of her staring right at you, tears in her eyes. She wasn’t running away screaming.” Ryder’s ruddy brows arched up like point-for-me. “Besides, I was with her after you tried to bite her. She was sprinting back here after she saw you go human again.” Ryder leveled him with a look. “Sprinting. She was worried you were hurt from the fight, but you’d already taken off.”
>
  “Because I wasn’t okay to be around her yet—”

  “But you need to get there, Aaron. Alana’s classy. Way too good for your dumb ass, and she isn’t going to put up with running for long. She won’t. If your animal needs work with control, get your shit handled. Work on it. Make him good enough for her because, yeah, someday, Bear could be her maker, and it’ll be up to you to make that transition as easy on her as possible. But putting her under an out-of-control animal?” Ryder shook his head and took another gulp of his beer. “Weston and I won’t always be there to save your ass.”

  Weston appeared out of the shadows in a pair of black sweat pants, his hair disheveled. “Couldn’t sleep,” he murmured.

  He’d been having trouble with insomnia lately, but the Novak Raven wasn’t fooling any of them. He was avoiding the visions. Weston sat down on the porch floorboards of 1010 and rested his back against the rail. He had a long piece of grass between his fingers, and he began shredding it with a troubled look on his face. “Has she called you back yet?”

  Aaron stared at the dark woods beyond the porch light and shook his head. He’d been holding his phone the whole damn night in hopes that she would return any of his three calls. He didn’t know where she was, but he had made sure Aric was on shift tonight, so at least she was safe from him. Still, he didn’t like this sick feeling that he’d ruined everything, and that’s why she wasn’t answering his calls. “I think I messed it up.”

  “You didn’t,” Ryder murmured.

  “But it feels like I did. Down in my gut, it feels like she really saw me, and it scared her off. I can’t get it out of my head—that look on her face when I was coming for her.” Aaron swallowed hard and picked at the label on his bottle. “I had zero control. I was trying so fucking hard to stop Bear. Or, for fuck’s sake, to even slow him down enough so you guys could get her out of my reach. And her eyes were so big, just terrified. I could see my own reflection in them, bloodlust written all over my face, jaws open, and I couldn’t stop myself. I gave the animal my skin, and what was his reaction? He wanted to bite her more than anything. My animal wants her claimed so she won’t leave me. I hope you two never feel what it’s like to terrify your mate.”

  “No chance of that,” Weston said low. “Ravens don’t form bonds like bears do.”

  “Bullshiiiit,” Ryder said. “Your mom fell for Beaston when they were kids, and she never let him go. I can’t wait to terrify my mate. In the bedroom.” He pitched his voice high. “Oh Ryder, your dick is so big!”

  Aaron chuckled and took the first long sip of his cold drink. Talking to the guys had always made him feel better. He could use the distraction right now as he clutched his phone, hoping every second that Alana would offer him salvation and call him back.

  “There he is,” Ryder said as Wyatt appeared out of the dark. “Third in the crew, how does it feel?”

  “Better than fourth and fifth.” Wyatt jabbed at the bird shifters as he sat on the porch across from Weston.

  Ryder pulled his beer bottle to his mouth like a microphone. “Wyatt James, you grew up with everyone saying you would be a great alpha someday. How does it feel to lose alpha to a girl, and then Second to a rival bear shifter?”

  “Fuck you, man,” Wyatt drawled, but he was smiling, and some of the tension that had been hurting Aaron’s chest eased.

  “So we’re okay?” Aaron asked, trying to keep the hope from his voice.

  “Yeah, brother,” Wyatt said, and his voice rang with honesty. “I didn’t care either way, second or third. I just wanted Harper to be able to settle. Maybe I thought I would be alpha when everyone was feeding me that line growing up, but things don’t always work out like we think when we were kids. None of us imagined we would be in North Carolina, so far from Damon’s Mountains, or linked up in a crew together. We didn’t think we’d be under Harper. But I’m happy with how things turned out. My bear feels good since the fight. Controlled. Relieved maybe, I don’t know. Plus, I don’t have to make any of the hard decisions. I can just be the muscle.” Wyatt reached over and slapped Aaron’s boot. “We’re good.”

  Aaron let off a gusty exhale, expelling some of the pressure off his shoulders that had settled onto him after the fight.

  “Where’s Harper?” Weston asked.

  Wyatt stretched his legs out beside Weston’s and rested his hands around the railing behind his head. “Sleeping like a normal person. She doesn’t stay up all night like we do. She has a crew of dipshits to run.”

  Ryder tipped up his beer in a silent toast. “Fair point.”

  Wyatt got a faraway look in his steady blue eyes. “Remember when Aaron spent the summers with us in the trailer parks, and we would all sneak out to that treehouse Beaston built for us?”

  Ryder chuckled and rocked back in his chair. “Yeah that was super fun until you got caught fooling around with Harper and all of our parents went into lock-down mode. I shit you not, my mom put a security system in our trailer, not to keep robbers out, but to keep me in. I couldn’t lift up my windows without the alarms going off.”

  “I remember the first time you tried!” Aaron said. “You woke up the whole trailer park. I was staying with you, remember? Your parents woke up pissed. Your sisters, too.”

  “We hauled ass out of there, and Dad was yelling through the window, ‘Boy, you better get back here before I ground your ass into adulthood.’”

  “God,” Aaron mused. “I’ve never been so terrified in all my life. Your dad’s a beast, man. When he made threats, it was so hard not to listen to him. But you were running like your tail feathers were on fire, and I didn’t want to turn around and face him alone. Ryder, you were such a hellion. I don’t know how he put up with you.”

  Ryder scoffed. “I was a perfect angel. Until I got my flight feathers.”

  “Yeah exactly,” Aaron said, smiling before he took another sip of his beer. “I always looked forward to summers up there because the photographers weren’t stupid enough to come into Damon’s territory. Summers meant no school, late nights, shifting whenever I wanted, finding trouble with you guys, and no one was hiding in the bushes trying to get pictures of me.”

  “Please, those magazine spreads got horny shifter groupies swooning at your feet,” Wyatt muttered. “You didn’t hate all of it.”

  “Speaking of…” Aaron leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Alana has a poster of me. She showed it to me the other day.”

  “Whaaat?” Ryder asked, his eyes sparking with faux-shock in the porchlight. “Aaron Keller paired up with a fan?”

  When Aaron’s phone chirped in his hand, he jerked, nearly spilling his beer in an effort to check the new message. He read it twice, trying to understand it.

  Went to movie and saw furry bear. There was a picture attached of a blurry grizzly bear on a movie screen. And then it was followed by another blurred image of Alana’s perfect cleavage peeking out of a V-neck sweater.

  Boopsie, didn’t mean to send last one. Haaa! I didn’t get arrested. You aren’t supposed to take pictures in a movie theater but I’m mated to a mother fuckin’ BEAR. With tattoos. I got in trouble. I’m bad to the bone.

  Huh.

  I’m sorry about earlier, he typed, because that should be the first thing she heard from him. Send.

  Me too. I told my sister everything. She knows how big your dick is.

  Aaron grinned and ran his hand down his two-day facial scruff before he responded. Are you drinking? Send.

  No, I’m done drunk. Dead drunk. Drunk as a skunk. What does that even mean? Do skunks drink? Wanna fool around on the phone?

  Another immediate picture of her cleavage came through, this one a bit clearer, but behind her, there was a crowd of people.

  Are you in a bar? Fooling around in there probably wouldn’t work. Send.

  Frisky. My sister says hi. I can go into the bathroom? There are three stalls.

  He laughed and shook his head. What was happening right now? Woman, I’m n
ot having phone sex with you while you are in a bar bathroom. Send. Where are you? Do you need a ride home? Send.

  Taking a cab home. With my sister. Lissa loves me! We’re having so much fun.

  Good. Send. Soooo…are you mad at me? Send.

  He waited, but his phone stayed silent, and his glowing screen faded to black.

  “Is her sister hot?” Ryder asked from where he was leaned over like he’d been reading the conversation from beside him.

  “She’s Alana’s twin, so probably.”

  “Twins?” Ryder balled his fist at his crotch and flung his fingers out while he made an exploding sound.

  “God, I feel sorry for your future mate,” Weston said to Ryder, but the raven shifter was trying and failing to hide a grin.

  Aaron settled back in the chair and muttered, “Talons off, perv. Alana’s sister is married.”

  “Is Alana mad about you almost biting her?” Wyatt asked carefully.

  “Right now she sounds hammered, but I’m sure when she wakes up tomorrow she’ll remember what I did.”

  “Mm,” Wyatt grunted, rocking upward. He dusted the seat of his jeans and meandered off toward his cabin in the woods. “Night.”

  “Night,” they all murmured in unison.

  Weston followed with a small wave, and Ryder chugged the last gulp of his beer and stood. Aaron thought he would give him the mannish handshake they always did, but instead Ryder shoved him in the head and told him, “Don’t fuck this up.”

  Ryder jogged down the porch stairs and into the night, and Aaron was left staring at the blank screen on his phone, his last question bouncing around in his head. Are you mad at me?

  She might be tipsy, but Alana wasn’t ready to let him off the hook yet, and he didn’t blame her.

  He was pissed at Bear, too.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Alana’s head felt like she’d squished it into a motorcycle helmet three sizes too small. She had a pulse right behind her eyes that sizzled with pain every couple of seconds.