“Staying where? The palace? That won’t work. Chakir will be hiring a new nanny. Unless by here you mean somewhere else in Hamari. Do you have somewhere in Hamari?”
“I don’t,” she admitted. Her parents’ house had sold. They were off the grid. “I could probably get...some kind of financial support from my family.” A lot of financial support. “But nothing else.” They’d never talked about family or their childhoods. Matek had clearly been steering them away from those details, now that she looked back on it. “I have a lot of brothers and sisters. We’re not close.”
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I have a large family. I’m going to be running security for the birthday party. It’ll be safest for everyone involved if you’re with me. That way, I can be certain that you’re secure.”
“Wait.” All the bits of information she’d learned were coming together into a new picture. Another whirlwind tossed all her thoughts up into the air. If he worked all over the Middle East and expected her to travel with him, was she going to have any independence at all? Would she ever have another chance to put her master’s degree in early childhood development to use?
But then the positive part of her, the one she always tried to share with Ryan, kicked into overdrive. It could be a good thing, traveling with Matek, meeting his family. What if he had the kind of large family that was there for each other? What if she could use her own new royal status to make a difference in the world? Instead of a door slamming shut, maybe it was a door being thrown wide open.
At the very worst, she could always come back to Hamari. She could go back to the United States. Going with him for the event in his father’s kingdom wasn’t a formal commitment for the rest of their lives. It was one event.
Tiredness pressed in around her, making her feel heavy against the pillows. “I guess you’re right.” She barely managed to stifle a yawn. “But I don’t want to be...you know. I don’t want to be forced into this. I’m going to have to think about it tonight.” Matek stepped forward. “I’m going to need some space,” she said, even as her body lit up with that half step he’d taken. It was impossible to look at him without thinking of the way he moved on top of her in the dark...which was exactly how they’d gotten into this situation in the first place. “I’ll talk to you in the morning.”
4
“What do you think of this?” Matek pulled the small velvet box from his pocket and handed it to Kishon. The two of them stood in Kishon’s office. It was a good thing his cousin hadn’t invited him to sit. Waves of shock from the news still rolled over him, relentless, even though he’d started to make a plan.
Kishon eyed the ring in the box. “It’s beautiful. You’re thinking of proposing.”
“I’m thinking that...” In the next moment, he felt heavy, like the Earth’s gravity had made a sudden shift beneath him. “Mind if I sit?”
“When have we ever stood on ceremony?” Kishon dropped into his own chair. “Sit down. Talk to me. Have you seen Nina this morning?”
“No. I’m due to leave. I’m late to leave. But I’m waiting for her to emerge, I suppose. She said we could talk things through this morning, but—” He shrugged. “She hasn’t tried to contact me.”
Kishon considered this. “How did she seem last night?”
His heart sped up, as if it was getting ready to run sprints across his chest. “She seemed...put-upon. I know she doesn’t feel like she has any choice in this matter.”
“And you probably let her know that was accurate.” Kishon laughed. “For security reasons, naturally.”
“Yes, for security reasons.” Matek crossed his arms and tapped his foot against the floor. Pacing would be better than this. Any kind of movement would be better than this. “I can’t very well let her stay in Hamari unprotected.”
“She wouldn’t be unprotected here,” Kishon pointed out. “We have palace security. Or did you mean personally protected by you?”
“You know that’s what I meant.”
“Good man.” Kishon smiled at him. “So how does the engagement ring play into this?”
Matek stared down at the box in his palm. It looked so small there, and it had seemed so momentous when he’d consulted with the royal jeweler earlier. He’d gone to ask him which shops in Hamari he should visit for the ring and ended up back in the royal collection. The ring itself wasn’t an antique, but it had been made by one of the top jewelers in Hamari. It was gorgeous—a pear-cut diamond surrounded by delicate lines of platinum. “My thought is that if I propose, she might feel some more control over...all the relocating.”
“Oh?” Kishon’s face lit up. “Are you planning to relocate here after the birthday party? Because if you are—”
“I haven’t made any firm plans yet—you know I don’t want to stay in Damarah, but…” No need to get back to his long history of being the odd one out. Matek’s grandfather had made certain that Matek’s security training came above all else—including having a relationship with anyone in the family. And now nobody saw him as a part of the group. How could they? How could he see himself as part of that group? “I thought I might propose to Nina before we go. It will mean delaying our departure by a day, but I think we’re at that point anyway.”
“I’d agree with that assessment,” Kishon said. “That you’ll be delayed, that is.”
Matek sensed that he was holding something back. “So what do you think of the plan, then? Just say it, Kishon. We don’t need to sit here all day dancing around whatever it is you’re not saying.”
Kishon folded his hands behind his head and watched Matek from the other side of his desk. “It’s only that, based on your summary of events, Nina doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about getting more entangled with you than she already is. But perhaps you got another impression.”
“Oh, please. She would never say no to a ring. Have you seen her fingers?”
Kishon laughed again. “I have to admit that I haven’t been paying much attention to her fingers.” He leaned forward and tapped a pen on the ledger he had open in front of him. “Have you put any thought into the proposal?”
Matek bristled. “What kind of man do you think I am? I didn’t plan to propose to her while she’s brushing her teeth.”
“I assumed it would be a more romantic moment.”
“Fine,” Matek said grudgingly. “I was going to take her to the gallery on the first floor. She’s partial to some of the paintings there.”
“What about someplace even better? Let me arrange it for you. Honestly...” Kishon picked up his desk phone. “I think you’ll have better results if you put some effort into it.” Matek opened his mouth, but Kishon raised a hand, silencing him. “That didn’t sound how I intended. I meant, let me book a space for you. I have the perfect thing.”
“Where?” Matek’s hands had gone slick at the thought of getting down on one knee like they did in the American movies.
“The Passion Garden,” Kishon said, and as soon as the words were out of his mouth, Matek knew his cousin was right. “You won’t be interrupted there. And it’s one of the most beautiful places Hamari has to offer.”
The Passion Garden was an oasis a few miles outside the city, on the edge of the desert. It had been preserved and maintained by the royal family for years. Nina would be comfortable there, and so would Matek—he had no concerns when it came to the security at the Passion Garden. They’d all be fine. And they’d be close to the palace in case anything happened.
To her, to the baby...he had more people to worry about now.
But he set the worry aside. “I’ll take you up on that offer.” He stood and shook Kishon’s hand. “How soon do you think it’ll be available?”
“Within the hour,” Kishon said with a grin. “Is that what you’re wearing?”
“I’ve had enough of you,” Matek said mildly. “It’s a good thing I’m not working for you anymore.”
“Best of luck,” Kishon called out after him. “I’ll be rootin
g for you.”
* * *
The SUV came to a stop at the very end of the road, which curved around in a circle. Matek was certain there wasn’t enough air in the car—not by far. How had he gotten so nervous about this business? It had been his plan. The SUV’s headlights cut a path through the darkness. Waiting until evening had given him enough time to set his plan fully in motion, and he’d been blessed with a mild night.
Matek drummed his fingertips against his knee one last time, then climbed out of the SUV. This was where his nerves met reality. If Nina didn’t want to accept his proposal, he couldn’t make her. And he didn’t want to make her. But he did want her to come to Damarah with him as his fiancée. That would be better. Safer somehow.
He helped Nina down from the SUV and led her down a cobblestone path. Palm trees rose up on either side, and all of it was bathed in a soft white glow from thousands of fairy lights. Nina sucked in a breath.
“This is beautiful,” she said softly. “Did you do this?”
“Not personally, but I had the idea for it. It’s a place my mother would have liked if she were still alive,” he said. The outer ring of palm trees merged into a manicured garden. They stepped into a small clearing. The trees enclosed them, cutting off the rest of the world. A waterfall burbled in the center of the clearing. He half-wished he could strip off her clothes and lead her in, watching the water move silkily over her skin. He slipped his hand into Nina’s. She twined her fingers through his, and he could feel her pulse, light and fast, like a skipping bird.
“It looks fantastic.” Nina’s eyes were wide, catching all the twinkling lights. He’d had the central part of the gardens strung in lights, too. Soft music played from a speaker hidden near the waterfall just for this occasion. She looked like she was in wonder of it all, and a strange pressure came in around him. This is the moment. A bolt of fear struck his heart. He’d been pushed out of his own family’s inner circle in the name of being the best soldier he could be. That meant leaving behind all the emotions that could sway his judgment. Would this be the same?
He sank down, his knee cushioned on the grass.
“Matek?”
“I brought you here because I wanted to do this.” He took the ring box from his pocket and flipped it open so she could see the delicate piece inside. “I want everything to start here.” Nina’s eyes had gone even wider, which he didn’t think was possible, and she swayed on her feet. He braced her hip with one hand. “You should sit down. Here—”
He made a move to stand, but her hand on his shoulder stopped him. “No, no. I’m fine. Just...keep going.”
Even in the soft light, he could see the rosy blush in her cheeks and the delighted curve at the corners of her lips.
“It’s simple, really.” His own heartbeat thundered somewhere near his throat. This wasn’t supposed to be so emotional, yet...here he was. “Will you marry me? I’d like to go back home with you as my fiancée. I’d like to welcome our child into the world as husband and wife.”
Nina blinked, and her smile flickered, dimming. “I like the sound of that, but...why?” She shifted back and forth under his hand. “If I’m going to get married, I want love in that relationship. Can you give me that? Will I be able to earn it from you?”
Earn it? “What I have to offer right now is that I care for you. And the baby. And I want—” A fierceness sparked inside of him like a match touching kindling. “I want to protect you both. With me, you’ll have protection and family and everything the baby will ever need. Can that be enough for now?”
She bit her lip. “You know,” she said thoughtfully, “my parents love each other so much.” Nina’s voice wavered. “So much. Sometimes it was like they couldn’t see anyone else. I have seven siblings, and there were times when I’m sure nobody saw me at all. Not my parents. They had so much love for one another that there was hardly any left for us. Plenty of money, though.” Her forehead wrinkled. “I don’t want that for my child.”
Matek’s lungs weren’t working. What was she saying? Was this a yes or a no? He had to admit that it tore at his heart to think of a younger version of Nina, wanting desperately to be seen and never getting that from her parents. And at the same time, he knew what it was to feel so consumed with a woman that the rest of the world disappeared. That’s how it was when he and Nina were in bed together or leaning in close over dinner. Not that he had entertained the idea of proposing before the baby, but...that didn’t matter now.
“What do you say?” He held the ring perfectly still in his hand, and her gaze flickered down to it. They’d spent enough time together that he knew she’d love it, and from the look on her face, she did. And happiness tickled at the base of his belly like pleasant flames. He liked seeing her this pleased because of something he’d done. He liked it on a deep level that surprised him. A forbidden level. “Be my wife? Let me be your husband?”
Nina took one more breath, and he became exquisitely aware of the shadows cast on her face. Her eyes glinted blue, the catchlights warm and shining, and for a heady moment it was like she was looking right through him and into the future they’d have together. Like it was a sure thing. Time rolled by. Hours. Days. Centuries.
“Yes,” she said, and the world slammed back into the present. “Yes, I will marry you.”
Matek got to his feet, took her in his arms, and kissed her. She parted her soft lips for him, let him explore her mouth. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last, and she would be his wife. There. It was all going to work out.
The kiss got so heated that he started to dip her back, back toward the soft grass, and Nina giggled and pushed them both upright. “Not so fast. I believe you owe me a ring.”
5
Nina looked out the window of the private jet and tried to focus on the clouds. Back home in Connecticut, when she was young, she used to get carsick. Her mom would tell her to focus on something far outside of the car. But this was no car, and even though the clouds stretched out endlessly beside the plane, it wasn’t having quite the same effect.
“Here. Have these.” Matek pressed a package of saltine crackers into her hand.
“Oh, no, I don’t think I could—” Then Nina could almost taste them, the salty light flavor, the crumble on her tongue, and she had never wanted anything to eat more in her life than she did in this moment. “Thank you. Thanks.” She tore the crinkling package open and broke the first cracker on her tongue. Her stomach, which had been roiling for most of the flight, settled almost immediately.
Nina put her had back against the plush headrest and closed her eyes.
“Feeling better?” Matek’s hand on hers was warm and comforting, and she heard the concern in his voice. He had been so good about the morning sickness. When she’d run to the bathroom, she’d come out to find him waiting with a warm towel and a small bottle of ginger ale and crackers.
“Much better,” she said. Now that her stomach wasn’t surging up into her throat, there was plenty of space for a weird, conflicting energy. Gratitude swathed her like a warm blanket over her shoulders. But that gratitude was lined with dismay. It didn’t feel good, being so out of control. Nina usually cared for other people. She got tissues and bottles of water and settled sick stomachs. Now, on a dime, she’d become the one who needed help.
And she hadn’t exactly earned it, had she? Nina hadn’t done anything to capture Matek’s attention for good. His interest mostly had to do with the baby, given the timing of his proposal. She hadn’t done anything to earn lifelong affection from him, only a lifelong connection. The two things weren’t the same.
Matek sat forward in his seat. “Your face is pale—do you need help to the bathroom?”
“No, no.” She put on a smile. This had all seemed so simple back in the garden. Of course she would marry him. Of course she would go back to his home country with him. The ring on her finger would make everything easier. Only it didn’t feel easier. She was as unsteady as the first time she’d tried
to ice skate. The entire world had seemed to slip out from underneath her. “I’m okay. Just hoping my stomach stays settled.” And that Matek wouldn’t be tired of their engagement by the time the plane landed. And that everything in Damarah would pan out. And that the baby would be all right. And, and, and…
“Have another cracker.” He tapped her wrist gently with his fingertips, and she realized she was still holding onto it, her grip about to crush it to pieces. She snapped in half and popped another piece into her mouth. That was better. It was amazing, what being constantly nauseated could do to a person. Nina should have been able to think of the saltines herself.
Well, Matek had thought of it, and she shouldn’t be surprised. His entire job was problem-solving. If he’d been totally helpless about her morning sickness it would not have been a good sign for the future.
The pilot announced their final descent. Nina peered out the window, desperate for a glimpse of her new—if temporary—home. Would her familiarity with Hamari’s customs be enough to get by here? Matek’s family loomed large in her imagination. Her future in-laws. Oh, god. How is that even possible? The city below looked familiar, with its mix of traditional and modern structures. She knew the Middle East. She’d spent more than a few years here, and she’d been a diplomat’s daughter. It would be enough to get her through. The plane dropped, her stomach lurched, and Matek took her hand. She ate another saltine.
And then they were bumping onto the runway and barreling toward the terminal. Nina squinted out the window. “Is that press?”
Matek leaned in close so he could see. The warmth of him steadied her, and she wished for an overheated second that they were alone on the plane so she could undo the buttons of his shirt one by one and strip it off him. She wished they were back in the air, which was absurd. The airplane turbulence had turned her stomach. But up there, she’d only had to focus on getting to the bathroom on time and eating saltines. It was clear from the crowd on the runway that they’d have a lot more to deal with on the ground.
The Sheikh’s Pregnant Nanny: Sheikhs of Hamari Book Three Page 3