Blair removed his glasses to set them on the desk and folded his hands. His eyes had a gentle, softness about them which soothed Olivia for the moment. “No. You aren’t losing your mind. These are all part of your reality and should not be ignored. From what you’ve shared with me, you’re popping off and we can’t have you still displaying bad behavior.”
“I don’t want to make snap decisions regarding the way I act. People have a way of pushing my buttons.”
“I know you want to behave in a different way. What I need from you is action.” Blair paused and waited for Olivia to nod in agreement. “Are you familiar with a publication that covers creative counseling techniques to help with anger? I believe you spoke on this subject at a conference a few years ago.”
“I covered that material in one of my best talks to help clients with rage in a creative way,” Olivia recalled. “Thanks for the reminder. I may need to examine the notes in my files to use on myself.”
“Based on what you’re sharing, it sounds like you get upset about something and explode right away. After you have time to consider your actions, you feel horrible about the way you handled a scenario. Correct?”
“Yes. Sometimes I feel bad after I calm myself down. Other times, I have no regrets at all. Some people deserve to get a piece of my mind.” Olivia sat up straight with dignity.
“You react first, retreat, and rethink afterward.”
“Boy. You read my speech. You’ve nailed it right on the head.” Olivia liked how Blair delivered her a slice of her own medicine. “Let me guess, you’re going to tell me to retreat, rethink, and respond with a thoughtful reaction.”
“You already know how this works. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know how to do. I’m here to draw it to the forefront of your mind to prevent these outbursts.”
“Yes, my friend. I will get myself under control,” Olivia laughed.
“We may be friends, nevertheless, you must manage your emotions better. Do we have an agreement?”
“Dang. I see you ain’t playing with me. Yes. We have an agreement. I won’t embarrass you by being a bad patient. I’ll put this into practice and see if it works for me. If not, we may need to revisit a textbook from medical school.”
“I’m confident you’ll get back to a sense of peace and tranquility,” Blair said.
“I’ve been playing racquetball to tackle my pissed-off emotions out on the court instead of on people. This may sound crazy. I’m considering buying a new racquet. This way, along with my skill, I’ll improve my game and defeat my opponents every time. At least I’ll be victorious in something,” Olivia surmised.
“It doesn’t sound crazy at all.”
“Do you still play? If I recall correctly, you were pretty good back in the day.”
“Ah. You remember something about me.” Blair stroked his chin with a sense of pride. “I won in the Amateur Open Division of a few tournaments.”
“Yes. I remember seeing you win against several excellent players. Impressive.” Olivia raised her hand to high-five him.
“Maybe I’m good enough to play with you on the court some time,” Blair slyly suggested.
“You know, I’ll have to invite you to come to play cut-throat with Savvy and me after my mandatory counseling sessions are completed.” Olivia figured they could learn some championship skills from Blair.
“Let’s make it a date. I’ll finally get my wish to go out with you after all of these years.” Blair’s apparent joy from the suggestion showed across his face. He stared at Olivia with such intensity, she grew uncomfortable.
“Go out with me? I don’t think Quinn would be cool with us calling this a date.” Olivia put enough sharpness in her voice to make a point about him being married.
Blair’s smile faded. He scratched the bald part of his head and cleared his throat. “Come on, Olivia. You know I didn’t mean a ‘date’ date. I meant we should set a date to play. Stop taking everything literally.”
“Unh-huh,” Olivia replied with suspicion. “I guess I must have misunderstood.”
Blair shuffled a few papers in his hand. “Yeah. Misunderstanding. Completely.”
“Okay. Cool. Um. I guess our time is up for today.” Olivia checked her watch without noticing the actual minutes remaining. She grabbed her purse and stood.
“Alright. I’ll see you at your next appointment.” Blair rose from the chair and handed her a piece of paper. “Initial here on the chart to capture your mandatory hours. Call me if you need to come in sooner.”
Olivia initialed in the appropriate area. “Will do. I’ll let you know.”
Blair walked her to the door and reached out to hug Olivia. He drew her closer to him than usual. “Umm.” A moan slipped from his lips when he caressed the small of her back.
Olivia squirmed from his embrace. She punched him in the arm. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Blair?” Her face warmed with anger.
“What? Oh. I’m sorry, Olivia.” Blair seemed to snap from a daze. “I got carried away. I miss Quinn and needed a hug today. Please accept my apology.”
“What kind of lame excuse is that?” Olivia stared at him in disbelief and disgust. “Don’t you ever do that to me again. Do you understand?”
Blair dropped his head as if embarrassed. “I’m out of order. Again. I’m sorry. Please don’t let this ruin our professional relationship or friendship.”
“Believe me. I’ll find a different therapist if this is what I have to put up with,” Olivia spat.
“No. It’s okay. Don’t go overboard,” Blair pleaded. “We’ve made great progress with your treatment. I don’t want to mess this up.”
Olivia steadied herself to calm her nerves. Her shoulders relaxed and she released an exasperated sigh. “Okay. I won’t fire you yet. This is awkward. I’m going to leave.” Olivia exited the office in a haste.
Once in her car, she paused and took several deep breaths in and out to shake off Blair’s inappropriate hug.
She cranked the engine and contemplated her previous conversation with Blair about Quinn. Considering his actions and how he mentioned missing his wife, she figured now would be the time to check on her. He could thank her later when Quinn improved. Olivia decided to drive to the hospital since she had time before visiting hours ended.
TWENTY-SEVEN
Olivia
Donning a new pair of purple Gucci sunglasses found as she scrounged around in a consignment shop, Olivia enjoyed the warmth bathing her through the sunroof.
She dug into her purse for a hairbrush to serve as an imaginary microphone. The singing legend, Nina Simone, kept her company on the drive to the north side of San Antonio as they belted out the lyrics to Feeling Good, as a duo in Olivia’s imagination.
Traffic flowed at a steady pace as she drove past the Brook Army Medical Center to her exit. The Beatitude Behavioral Health Hospital, known for being an approachable, resort-style facility, sat tucked away in a residential community. The well-thought-out architectural design provided a setting to comfort loved ones who otherwise might feel traumatized about committing a family member.
Towering crepe myrtle trees draped above pristine white picnic tables on a sprawling, well-manicured lawn, which provided a sense of serenity even behind the gated walls. Once the weather warmed, the colorful blooms from the trees would add additional tranquility to the area.
After wheeling her car into a parking space, Olivia grabbed her ID from the wallet and stuck it in her pocket along with the keys. The facility had strict rules about cell phones not being allowed. She locked it, along with her purse in the trunk before walking inside.
A young receptionist sat behind the desk in the main lobby. She flipped bangs from her face and offered a smile of recognition. “Dr. Maxwell.”
“Chevy. What a pleasant surprise. When did you start working here?” Olivia recognized the young lady from the gym reception desk.
“I st
arted two weeks ago. They pay more money here and I get benefits, too. I couldn’t survive on the gym salary,” Chevy explained.
“I understand. I’m glad you found something better.”
“Yeah. Me too. The staff is friendly and I like it here.”
Olivia glanced at the check-in area. “Where do I sign in?”
“Are you coming to check on patients?” Chevy inquired.
Olivia realized Chevy didn’t have a clue about her status in regards to being on probation. “No. I’m here to visit a friend. Dr. Quinn Fluellen. We attended medical school together.”
“Oh. That’s great. I’m sure she’ll be glad you are here.” Chevy produced a sign-in sheet and a visitor badge.
Olivia signed the sheet with swiftness when she noticed Chevy didn’t bother to refer to the computer to check for any visitor restrictions. Luck fell on Olivia’s side. “I’m glad I made it before visiting hours end. I want to have enough time with her. May I go back now?”
“Sure, Dr. Maxwell. I’ll buzz you through the door and escort you to the visiting room in the psych ward since it’s not busy out here right now. I’m playing double duty to help out one of the staff members who usually walks visitors back,” Chevy responded with an eagerness to assist.
“Great.” Olivia waited for Chevy to open the door. She followed her through a maze of hallways. They stopped several times where Chevy punched in codes on keypads to the secure areas before making it to the patient's visiting room.
The furniture and decorations provided a homey environment. Plush sofas and chairs offered a comfortable setting for guests to visit their loved ones. A mural of the sun above the ocean brought about a sense of peace.
“I’ll check you in with the nurse here before bringing Dr. Fluellen out to you. We call her Dr. Quinn. Wasn’t there an old TV show by her name?” Chevy giggled.
“I used to love watching Dr. Quinn,” Olivia reminisced.
“My mom did too, which is the only reason I know about it.”
“Of course. Thanks for making me feel old,” Olivia laughed.
Chevy snickered. As she walked away, she spoke across her shoulder, “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll return with her in a moment.”
Olivia found a chair at a table to settle into. She glanced around the room to determine if she recognized any of the residents.
An older couple sat with a young man who refused to make eye contact with them. They spoke in hushed voices. Olivia kept hearing the patient repeating the word “No” to everything they said. She could sense their frustration with his inability to communicate with them.
Another patient sat on a sofa with a man next to her. She wore a yellow dress with a flower in her hair. The man leaned to whisper in her ear, which brought about a burst of overly loud giggles. She blushed and swatted him on the leg. He appeared satisfied with her reaction to whatever he said to her.
Chevy reappeared with Quinn. Olivia stood as they approached. Quinn didn’t look as she remembered. The shoulder-length, ginger red dreadlocks she wore in school had been shaved off. Salt and pepper colored fuzz covered her scalp instead of the mane of glory she used to have. Her natural freckled-face revealed what most people never caught sight of since Quinn used to apply full makeup upon awakening each morning.
An oversized pink Mumu dress matched the slippers Quinn shuffled in as if her feet were glued to the ground. She stared at the floor and mumbled until Chevy led her to Olivia. “Dr. Quinn. Look at who is here.”
Quinn stopped mumbling and raised her eyes to Olivia’s face. Her blank expression changed into one of recognition. “Olivia. What are you doing here?”
The alert nature of Quinn’s voice caught Olivia off guard. She sounded the same as she had when they were in school. “Quinn,” she squealed. “Surprise.”
Quinn reached out to Olivia and embraced her in a hug, which seemed to last a lifetime. It communicated a longing for a familiar touch and loneliness. When Quinn drew back, tears streaked her face. “Olivia. I…you…you don’t know what it means to me to have you here.”
“Oh, Quinn. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Chevy found a tissue box and handed it to Quinn. After removing a wad of tissues, Quinn blew her nose until it honked. She grabbed a few more and dabbed her red-rimmed eyes.
“I’m going to leave to give the two of you space to catch up,” Chevy said with a smile. “The nurse is sitting at the desk in the corner if you need any assistance.”
“Thank you, Chevy.” Olivia’s eyes stayed on Quinn. She fought the urge to cry upon seeing Quinn’s tears. The once assertive, strong woman, now appeared reduced to glass-like fragility. “How are you, Quinn?”
The simple question brought about a spring of new tears. Quinn crumpled onto a sofa and picked up a pillow. She cried in silence to the point where if it weren’t for the waterworks, Olivia would’ve assumed she sat in deep thought.
Olivia sat next to Quinn and rubbed her back to offer comfort. “It’s okay. Cry as much as you need to.”
Quinn sniffled and wiped her face again. “These are tears of joy.” She inhaled and closed her eyes before releasing a breath with slow deliberation. “No one has come to visit me. You know people are uncomfortable with anything related to mental illness.”
“It’s a lack of understanding much of the time,” Olivia said. “I’m here now and I am glad to be with you.”
Quinn’s face brightened with a smile. She couldn’t stop staring at Olivia. “I need people, other than the staff, to care about me. It’s hard being in here.”
“I know it isn’t easy being away from your home and what you’re familiar with.”
“I hate being in a place where I used to come to do rounds with my patients. I shouldn’t be in this hellhole.” Quinn’s bottom lip tremored.
“Which is why I’m here. I know how important it is to have your friends and family around when going through treatment.
Although you have Blair, who loves and cares about you, I wanted to be here for you, too,” Olivia said.
Quinn’s face clouded. She grabbed Olivia’s hand in a grip tight enough to cut off blood flow. She stared with intensity at Olivia before speaking through clenched teeth without moving her lips. “Blair poisoned me.”
“Whoa.” Her words were surprising to Olivia. She widened her eyes and leaned closer to Quinn. “What did you say?”
Quinn squeezed her hand and lowered her voice to a whisper. She tilted forward and placed her mouth close to Olivia’s ear, making it hot from her breath. “Blair tried to kill me.”
Olivia sat upright. “What do you mean Quinn?” Olivia’s stomach tightened with knots from Quinn’s words. It took everything in her to not yank her throbbing hand from the death grip.
“No one believes me. Blair laced my food and drinks with drugs. They made me psychotic. He wanted me dead. He resorted to making everyone think I’m paranoid.” Quinn’s eyes darted around in maniacal dizziness. She released Olivia’s hands and began to rub her fuzzy head at a frantic pace.
Olivia didn’t know what to believe. Could her friend be delusional? “Quinn. Why would Blair try to harm you? He loves you.”
“No. He loves you, Olivia.” Quinn pounded her fist on a table. She raised her finger to point at Olivia. Her eyes blazed in anger. The nurse in the corner stood and observed with concern on her face. Olivia raised her hand to signal they were okay. “He has always fantasized about you. He’s told me more than once about how he settled for me after you rejected him.”
Shocked, a chill crept through Olivia. She remembered the uncomfortable hug from Blair. “Quinn. We’ve been nothing more than friends. I respect him as a peer which is why I’m seeing him as my doctor. That’s the extent of our relationship. I made it clear to Blair, many times when we were in school, I didn’t want to date him. Not then, not ever.”
“Exactly. He obsessed over you. You broke his heart. I wasn’t anything except his rebound chick,” Quinn snar
led. “We never should’ve married. Our relationship has been toxic from the beginning.”
Olivia crinkled her eyebrows in confusion. “I had no idea. You two always seemed to be perfect in love.”
Quinn released a menacing laugh. “We were experts at fooling everyone. We needed each other to accomplish career goals and family expectations. Nothing more.”
“Why would you accuse him of drugging you?” Olivia questioned.
“Because he did,” Quinn spat. “I’ve never been one to use medicine for anything. I’m in tune with my body to the point I know how it should feel with everything I put into it. A few months ago, I experienced nausea, stomach cramps, and disorientation. I couldn’t get from one side of the room to the other. My speech became slurred and hallucinations set in. I started having paranoid thoughts about everything and everybody.”
Quinn paused and stared at Olivia who sat in silence. She nodded for Quinn to continue.
“It got to the point where I remember crying nonstop. I mean, there wasn’t a moment in the day where I escaped from despair.” Quinn shook her head. “Blair told me I must’ve been going through hormonal changes.”
“Did you see a doctor to get checked out?” Olivia inquired.
“No. I didn’t. I figured it would pass in a few days. Embarrassment shackled me from consulting with my peers. Since Blair is my in-home therapist, if anyone could diagnose me, he should’ve been able to.”
“Okay. So, why do you think he did something to you?” Olivia asked.
“I told him I wanted a divorce. I’m tired of living a lie. He refuses to let our marriage go and told me we are to be together until death do us part. It’s ironic. Although he hates being married to me, he feels divorce is only for deplorables,” Quinn let out a shaky breath. “He said the only way we wouldn’t be together would be if one of us lay dead in a casket. Shortly after the discussion, my body had strange sensations.”
“Do you think he meant it as a threat?” Olivia couldn’t wrap her mind around the idea of Blair doing anything to harm Quinn.
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