by Jayne Hawke
This was a place of pain and sadism. It filled the air with a sense of glee and watchful eyes. Every touch of pain brought those watching such pleasure. I refused to acknowledge the pain, or the way my blood slowly dripped down my arms and legs where the thorns sank into my flesh. The burning fire layered, turning into something that pushed me on. I would not be defeated.
That time spent in the woods was the first time I had felt a real purpose. Every step taken was for my pack, and for my garou as a people. Earlier in my life, back in the hazy days as an innocent baker, I had casually drifted through life. I had my dream of becoming a star baker, but that was never anything concrete. And even that I never pushed myself towards, not really. Blair had been right to fire me. My heart just wasn’t in that goal. I’d told myself it was, because it was all I had left of my mom, but I wanted and needed something more.
Valentin had been a dick to change me against my will, yet, in that darkness with nothing but silence and thorns for company, I was almost grateful to him. He had pushed me onto this path and given me so much more to live and fight for. Now I had a pack that needed me to step up, an entire people to watch over and protect. That had given me a fire that I never dreamed could have lived within me.
I would never be truly thankful, but I could acknowledge all that I had gained thanks to his actions.
When I finally tasted fresh air and stepped out from the darkness, my body was exhausted. Every inch of me felt as though as I was covered in bone-deep bruises. I fell forwards onto my knees, landing on deep lush green grass beneath an amethyst sky.
I dug my fingers into the grass and tried to gather myself up. Who knew when I had last eaten or slept, who knew if I still needed to do those things. I was no closer to knowing if I was in a dream or Fae.
Looking around me, I saw nothing but open flat grasslands and the brilliant purple sky overhead. Pushing myself into standing, I was painfully aware of the clock ticking. Somewhere on the Earth plane, the Apophis witch was preparing to become an avatar.
Gritting my teeth, I closed my eyes and tried to take control of my surroundings. It was time to dig deep and really find out if this was Fae or a dream. Lucid dreaming had never been my strong point, but by the gods I was giving it all I had.
I reached out with my mind, searching for the edges of this space so I could tug on them. My hands shook with exertion and my mind struggled to do much more than form basic thoughts. I pushed harder, determined to bring this all to an end.
Slowly, I became aware of the fabric of the space around me. I tugged at the seams with my mental fingers and felt something give. Success! I was locked in a dream, which meant I could get myself out of there.
28
Slowing my breathing, I focused on the fact I was within a dream. That meant all of the pain and exhaustion I felt weren’t real. They were nothing more than an illusion constructed by whomever had locked me away in this dream.
The pain seeped away, leaving my mind and body feeling stronger than they had done in a long time. Opening my eyes, I saw flashes of slate grey and brilliant white high in the sky. A sense of foreboding settled over the land, and I knew that whoever had locked me in here was unamused at my having made some progress.
I held my hands out near my hips and pushed everything I had into the image of a pair of beautiful moon-silver daggers forming in my hands. This was a dream, which meant that I had some control here. Threads of something pressed cool and firm against my palm. I fixed my mind on those and pushed the idea of their growing into daggers with every fibre of my being.
Lucid dreaming came easily to some. I had never been one of them. I was left panting by the time I’d made a pair of pocketknives. My mind was telling me, reminding me, that using such a level of magic on the real world would have left me exhausted. Garou didn’t have enough magic to do such a thing, and my mind hadn’t quite latched onto the idea that this was a dream. Something was stopping it. The panting was more of a reflex from the exertion than true exhaustion. It was difficult to remember that as everything felt so real.
Thundering hooves began towards me. The sound hardened my resolve as the ground began to shiver under the weight of the incoming stampede. Slowly, the pocketknives extended and grew into what I needed. It was taking every scrap of focus that I had, leaving me vulnerable to changes in my surroundings. My balance was thrown by something unseen, but the daggers were so close now. Simple and elegant, they shone with the soft light of the full moon. I was a garou, and they were my purest weapon.
Lifting my eyes and returning my attention to the grasslands around me, I was dismayed to see a herd of purest black horses galloping straight at me. Their manes flowed in the breeze like inky ribbons. Eyes as red as pure blood blazed at me with malice and promises of pain.
Nightmares.
I’d heard about them but never encountered one to my knowledge. They could be defeated through courage, as they were nothing more than fear distilled into the form of a powerful horse.
Thoughts filled my mind as they approached- the understanding that I wasn’t worthy and I would never be able to save Cole, let alone the rest of the garou. What was I thinking? I couldn’t even make it as a baker, how was I supposed to be a guardian? I was a joke. I should just lie down and give in.
I lifted my chin and stared down the leader of the herd. It was going to take more than some fear to take me out.
Images of Cole torn and bloodied formed around me, each one worse than the previous. His eyes stared at me accusingly. The rest of my pack piled up around him. Soon the entire green space around me was covered in bloody corpses of garou that I couldn’t save.
My mother stood at the very edge with a look of deep disappointment on her face.
I swallowed hard and laughed as hard as I could. They were nothing more than images, possibilities that I would never allow to occur.
The horses began circling around me, snorting and stomping their large hooves as they did so. I kept my gaze hard and sure as I looked deep into those red pools and felt terror clutch onto my heart and squeeze tight. The world around us was charred and black. Everyone I had ever known was nothing more than scraps of memory. I’d failed. Apophis had swallowed the sun and plunged everything into chaos and darkness.
I growled and pressed my fingertips to the tattoo on my forearm as I reminded myself of my pack. My people. Together we were capable of anything. I was not in this alone.
The nightmare shook its head and stomped its feet in frustration. I would not be cowed. Not by simple fear.
The herd vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving me standing in the middle of a barren desert landscape with deep cracks in the red earth. It changed in the blink of an eye to a beautiful old forest with redwoods towering up around me, the canopy so far above it looked as though the sky itself was green leaves.
Again it changed, to a stunning lake, then to a bustling city, again and again. Whoever had been keeping me in the dream was losing their grip. It was time to tear myself free.
Reaching out with my mind, I kept the feeling of my pack at the front of my mind as I searched for the seams to this place. Time seemed to stretch on for an eternity as I searched and wondered if I had been wrong. Could this really be Fae and they had given me false hope?
When I was ready to give in, I found it. The crease in the fabric of the place. I gripped onto it with my mental fingers and yanked it as hard as I could. Darkness formed at the edges of the space, and I pulled again.
Something tore. Opening my eyes, I saw a great gash into the space, a messy shape revealing pure empty darkness behind the brilliant azure of the gentle ocean before me.
Without thinking, I ran and dove through the tear in space. What other choice did I have?
29
I woke with a gasp. Digging my fingers down into the couch I was lying on, I grounded myself in the scent of old leather, familiar wolves, and Pop-Tarts. The living room looked exactly as it should have done. Amy was kneeling next to me with bead
s of sweat on her forehead.
“They had a tight hold on you,” she said softly.
I threw my arms around her shoulders and held her tight. Never before had I been so grateful to see a witch.
It was easy now to see where the dream had been wrong. Amy had a strength and fierceness to her that had been missing earlier. Briar leapt on me and cried into my hair.
“We thought we’d lost you,” she sobbed.
I stroked her hair and held her until she was ready to pull away.
My stomach growled and I had to ask, “How long was I out?”
“A day,” Sky said as she handed me a plate of jerky and cold pizza.
“How long do we have left?” I asked as I stuffed jerky in my mouth.
“Not long enough,” Rowan said.
“I didn’t dream you!” I said with a grin.
He laughed.
“When did I fall asleep?”
“Not long after you got here with Rowan. You just passed out on the couch. At first we thought you were exhausted, but you wouldn’t wake up. Amy managed to help break the witch’s hold on you. I’m sorry, Rosalyn, it should have been me,” Sky said.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said with a smile.
I was absolutely ravenous. The look in Sky’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed.
“What happened while I was out?” I asked casually.
Amy looked pointedly at Sky.
“I lost all contact with my magic. It’s completely gone and won’t return until I choose either Set or the Morrigan. Oh, and my coven reminded me I’m getting married next month. To a guy I’ve never met. But he’s called Gideon, so that’s cool, right?” Sky said sarcastically.
“I still can’t believe witches are so backwards as to have arranged marriages like that,” Briar said.
I was with her.
“Coming from the garou who has some weird soul mate bond...” Sky said.
“Knowing that you’ll be a really good match for someone when you meet them is completely different to an arranged marriage. Our life bond kicks in when we meet someone who is our other half. We have a choice in what we do about that. If we’re not ready to get into a relationship, then we don’t have to. There are garou who meet their life bond and walk away. Do any witches walk away from arranged marriages?” Rowan asked.
Sky huffed and handed me a plate of cold Chinese leftovers. She was prepared, and I really appreciated that.
“No. None,” Sky said.
Rowan had a look of triumph on his face that made Sky clench her fist. I wondered if Rowan knew how close he was to being punched in the nose.
“Why don’t you just choose?” Briar asked Sky.
Sky screwed up her nose.
“Because it’s not that simple. I know nothing about Set, and the Morrigan is tied into my coven.” She dragged her fingers through her hair. “I’m not happy in my coven, but it’s all I’ve ever known. I do good as a Morrigan witch, too. We’re enforcers.”
“’Good’ is a matter of opinion,” Rowan said.
Sky pointedly ignored him.
“I don’t know what would happen with Set. I’d have to be a solitary witch, which I’ve never done before. Obviously; that was a stupid comment. Anyway. I don’t know much about Set. How can I commit to my life, my magic, my everything, when I know nothing about him?”
I didn’t really have an answer to that.
“I’m guessing ‘do whatever feels right’ isn’t the answer you’re looking for...” Adam said.
Sky laughed, a tight sound that made everything more tense, not less.
“Like Rosalyn said, you’re still a skilled fighter. We can figure out your magic once we’ve dealt with Liam,” Amy said.
Sky threw her hands up.
“I hate it. Ok? My magic is a crutch and I hate being without it. I feel empty and worthless.”
“Deal with it,” I said.
Sky raised an eyebrow at me.
“You heard me. We need you to step up and kick ass. So find a way to do that without your magic,” I said.
Sky laughed for real that time.
“Maybe we should lock you in a dream spell more often.”
“Absolutely not,” Amy said.
“Joking,” Sky said with an eye roll.
“Where are we sitting with locations and preparations?” I asked.
“We have most of our weapons ready to go. A couple of potions are still brewing, but we’ll be ready to wage war in two hours,” Amy said.
I swallowed the last of my pad thai and realised it really was a war. This wasn’t just about one witch and Cole any more. We’d pulled the Blue Dagger pack into it. Liam had gotten the council and the gods only knew how many other beings involved. This was about the fate of the world.
30
They’d been busy while I was locked away in the dream. Amy had enchanted every pointy object within reach. There was a heap of knives, daggers, swords, and even an axe on the kitchen table. Each one of them had a faint white glow to it where Amy had added some sharpening and breaking magic to them.
We stood around the table while Amy handed us each a handful of paper feathers and small glass marbles with swirling colours inside.
“The feathers act like throwing knives, and the marbles are grenades,” Amy said.
I looked down at the hot pink paper feather and marvelled at what Amy had done with it. Something so simple that had clearly come from a craft store a few hours prior had been turned into a weapon that could cut through a powerful witch.
“We don’t know who or what we’re going up against. The Blue Dagger pack will have our back. They’re going to cover the perimeter while we take on Liam, himself. Now remember, we need to slice him open with fiery blades. Oh, and he could potentially turn into a dragon,” Amy said.
“I thought we had to cut him then set him on fire?” I asked.
“Mistranslation,” Amy said with a smile.
“What about my guardian dagger? That’s already cut him.”
Amy pursed her lips.
“I believe that should work. We’ll be trying to get the fire, though, just to be sure.”
Sky began placing knives from the table into sheaths on her body. Her mouth was pressed into a stubborn frown, but she hadn’t given in just yet. I found a spot for the marbles and hoped they weren’t too delicate.
“Can’t we just shift? We’re not great with knives,” Briar asked.
“We need to cut Liam, remember,” I said.
Briar looked at the knives and took a pair. She held them in her hands before she gave a heavy sigh and tucked them away.
Rowan couldn’t take his eyes off Amy. A small smile played across his lips as he watched her run her hands over her hips and thighs checking all of the blades there. I wondered if Amy knew she wasn’t going to be shaking the garou off any time soon. He seemed pretty sure that she was his other half.
“Do witches usually date garou?” I asked casually.
Sky snorted.
“No self-respecting witch would be caught near a garou. We’re taught from a young age that bloodlines are everything. You must aspire to marry and reproduce with the correct bloodline to produce the strongest and most capable witches,” Sky said.
“It happens, sometimes. And only with the smaller covens and solitary witches,” Amy said.
Rowan was glaring at Sky.
“I didn’t say I agreed with them,” Sky snapped at him.
The garou relaxed and turned to help Adam secure his knife on his hip.
“Do we need to meet up with your pack, Rowan?” I asked.
“No. They have the location of Liam and they’ll be doing all they can to make sure no one but us goes in or out.”
“Is there any sign of Cole?”
Rowan looked away.
“None.”
I ground my teeth. He had to be there. I’d have known if they’d sacrificed him, and the ritual wasn’t due yet. He must just be well-hidden somewhere far from
prying eyes. Likely somewhere Natasha could taunt him.
We all ate our fill and drank an awful bright blue potion that Amy had brewed.
“Think of it like a health and mana potion,” she said brightly.
Adam raised his eyebrow.
“We have more health and magic to shift and things now?”
“Exactly. You’ll heal more quickly, burn fewer calories doing it, and have more magic to allow you to maintain that for roughly two hours. Less if you sustain a big injury like losing a leg.”
“Remind me to take you into battle more often,” Sky said.
Amy laughed.
“We’ll see what Ma’at has to say about that.”
Rowan shook his head but said nothing. Amy looked at him and crossed her arms.
“I just can’t imagine being tied to a god like that.”
“And how is she different to your alpha?” Amy pushed.
Rowan thought about it for a long moment before he smiled.
“I think I have a better understanding now. Thank you.”
Amy narrowed her eyes some, remaining unconvinced, but nothing more was said on the topic.
“Which cars are we taking?” Sky asked.
I went to speak, but Sky cut me off.
“We are not getting in that death trap of a Mustang.”
“It is not a death trap!”
“It’s older than me. I’m pretty sure the chassis is ready to fall apart. I’m surprised the engine block hasn’t dropped out yet,” Sky said.
“I keep it in good condition, and it had a full check-over a couple of weeks ago.”
“I have to agree with Rosalyn,” Briar said.
“She’s your alpha, of course you do,” Sky huffed.
“No, her Mustang is in far better condition than your car. Your exhaust is ready to drop off and one of your wheel bearings is ready to explode. That’s why it’s been pulling to one side.”