She just sits there looking at her lap for several seconds and then finally speaks. Not answering my questions, but at least she says something.
“Was this a date, Ryke?” Oh, shit. She’s probably freaking the hell out right now.
“What? No. Avery asked me to have lunch with you guys. That’s it.”
“Okay, because I feel like I was just set up. You made it very clear that you don’t date after what Monica did to you, and anyway, we seem to want different things in life. You and I are nothing alike.”
Is she upset I don’t date?
“You weren’t set up. Evan and Avery both know that we’re friends, so they thought it would be fun. Now, let’s get you home.” I’d rather spend the rest of my afternoon with her, but she doesn’t want that, so I’ll take her home.
29
Claire
“Claire, if you don’t want to meet at the park tonight, we don’t have to.” Ryke grips the steering wheel and I’m afraid he’s going to hurt himself with how white his knuckles are turning.
“That’s okay. We can meet unless you’re busy.” I prop my head against the passenger window and pray for the next few minutes to go quickly because I urgently want to get out of his truck, away from him.
“I’ll see you at seven thirty, then.” When he pulls into Sierra’s drive, I reach for the handle to get out. “Claire, wait.”
I slowly turn around to look at him, afraid of what he’s going to say next. “You have nothing to worry about with me. I’m just fine with being your friend. I’ve been hurt badly by every woman I’ve let get close to me and I’m not looking to do that again.
Damn, that hurt.
“Okay, bye, Ryke.” I get out of his truck as fast as I can and sprint up to the house. I’m sure I look like an idiot, but I need to get away from him. Why did his words hurt so much? I’m in no position to be dating anyone, but to hear him say he can’t trust me hurt like hell.
“Hi, Buddy!” I exclaim when I walk in the door and see Brady playing with his toys on the floor. I have to at least pretend that I’m alright. I still have my son to take care of.
He reaches his arms up to me, so I snatch him off the floor. I sniff his little head. There’s nothing better than the smell of a baby. I kiss his face and then he slobbers all over mine. I don’t need anyone in my life besides this little guy. With him, everything will be fine.
Sierra already fed Brady, so that’s one less thing I have to worry about. I put him in his little bath seat in the tub and he starts splashing water all over the place and has me soaked.
“Brady!” I laugh. “You’re getting Mama all wet.” He just giggles in return.
I hope that I can give this little boy the best life possible. It’s just me and him, but I think we’ll make it just fine.
After I’m done washing him, I grab his hooded puppy dog towel and dry him off. I carry my wet baby to our room and dress him in his Micky Mouse outfit that Evan and Avery got him for his birthday.
“Hey, you going to take off soon?” Sierra peeks her head into my room.
“What are you talking about?” I continue changing Brady’s diaper.
“You said you were meeting Ryke tonight. It’s seven-fifteen.”
“No, I decided to stay in tonight,” I say, not looking at her.
“Does Ryke know that?”
“We had a weird argument this afternoon. I doubt he even wants to see me.” I button Brady’s pajamas up. “I guess I’m not sure if I’d call it an argument. It was strange, though.”
“He likes you,” she says, like her statement doesn’t mean anything. Fuck, it means everything. But that doesn’t matter. We’ll never be more than friends.
“What? No, he doesn’t. You’re on drugs.” I hand Brady his sippy cup, avoiding eye contact with my insane friend.
“Yes, he does. He cares a lot about you. You two may not be able to do anything about it, but what’s wrong with spending time with him?”
I look at her like she’s out of her freaking mind. Because she is.
“Sier, he made it very clear that he doesn’t trust women. Why would I spend time with him, even as a friend, if he can’t trust me?”
“Claire, he was cheated on, just like you were. Of course, his guard is up, like I’m sure yours is.”
Of course, my guard is up, but I know that Ryke would never hurt me. I’m more concerned about my child and everything else I have going on in my life. I still have a divorce I have to worry about. I don’t want to burden someone else with my problems.
“I just really can’t deal with anymore heartache right now. I do want to be his friend, but what if I start to feel more but can’t do anything about it?” Too late for that.
“Why don’t you worry about that if and when it happens? Go have some fun. You deserve it. Besides, you deserve to have friends.”
“I have you.” I shrug my shoulders.
“Well, I don’t have a penis, so I can’t help you out there.”
“You are so crude.” I shake my head at her.
I have no idea what I’m going to do. I kind of doubt that Ryke is expecting me to show up tonight after the way I acted earlier.
Brady is now snoozing in his bed, so I quickly put on yoga pants and a t-shirt and then grab my tennis shoes. If nothing else, I’ll get a nice jog in and it won’t be a complete waste of my time if he doesn’t show up.
30
Ryker
Seven forty-five. She’s fifteen minutes late. Why the hell did I even bother coming here tonight? I know I keep telling her and myself that I only want to be her friend, but she still has the capability to crush my damn heart.
I felt like an asshole earlier when I basically told her I didn’t trust her, but I didn’t know what else to say. She looked scared to death with just the thought of us possibly on a date. Would it really be that bad? The truth is, I can already tell she’s different from the rest. But I still can’t let my guard down completely. For now, I’ll be her friend. If she proves me wrong, I’m not sure I’ll bounce back from this.
I’ve already done two laps around the lake, so decide it’s time to head home. Once I’m almost to the exit of the park, I hear her.
“Ryke!” She came.
I turn toward the sound of her voice. “I didn’t think you were coming.” I don’t mean to sound like a douche, but that’s how it comes out.
“I’m really sorry. If you need to get home, I understand, but I’d love to walk with you.” I can tell she’s worried what my response will be.
“No, let’s walk.” We walk side by side in silence back toward the lake. “You doing alright? You seemed upset earlier.” I hope I’m not being too straightforward, but I really do want to make sure I didn’t upset her.
She sighs. “Yeah, I’m fine. Honestly, I’m just mentally exhausted. Sorry for the way I acted.”
“Claire, you never have to apologize to me. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t upset you. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, but just know that I’m here whenever you need a friend.”
“Thanks, Ryke. That means a lot.”
The rest of our walk is a lot less depressing. I even get her to laugh a few times and, damn, do I love the sound.
“Did you get settled into Sierra’s alright?”
“Yeah.” She smiles. “I don’t have much here besides a suitcase, so it wasn’t too big of a deal.”
After doing a few laps around the lake, we start making our way back so I can get to work.
“Thanks for hanging out.”
She laughs. “No, thank you for wanting to see me again even after I was a bitch to you earlier”
This woman is the furthest thing from a bitch.
I grab her elbow. “Claire, you’re not a bitch.” I grab her chin and she tenses a little but then quickly relaxes in my grip. I want her to know that I’m serious.
“Thanks,” she whispers and I know that I’m done for.
In this moment, I realize that I’m don
e fighting whatever this is between us. I just have to figure out a way to tell her, without freaking her the hell out.
I get to the bar an hour early so Austin can leave to go somewhere with his girlfriend.
“Dude, she’s got you by the balls.” I punch him in the shoulder.
“Fuck you.” He laughs. “You’re just jealous that you don’t have a woman.” Fuck, he’s right, but I won’t admit that. I’m not lonely because of what Monica did to me, but I’m realizing more and more every day that I really do want to settle down someday. But it scares the shit out of me.
Once Austin leaves, we get swamped. Brian, one of my bartenders, is thankfully quick, so we get through our orders pretty fast.
Two hours before closing time, we finally slow down and we only have a couple customers left. I turn toward the front of the building at the sound of the door swinging open. It’s quiet in here now, so I notice that someone’s walking in.
Her. God, she’s beautiful.
I finish wiping the counter off that’s covered in beer and then head over to the table they’re sitting at.
“Hey, guys. What brings you out so late?” It is after eleven o’clock.
“This girl needed a night out.” Avery points her thumb toward Claire.
“Yeah, it was like pulling teeth to get her out, but we finally swayed her,” Evan says.
“I’m glad you did,” I say in response as I look Claire straight in the eyes. She doesn’t respond, but then I get a half smile. That’s good enough for me. “I just need to close out my last couple tabs, but then I’ll grab some beers and join you.”
Once I’m done with my customers and they’ve all left, I grab a couple beers and quickly get Claire’s water. We visit a while and then the girls decide to get up and put some music on my jukebox. Austin’s dad donated it to us when we opened. It doesn’t get used often, but I love having it. I’d rather listen to music on there over the radio any day.
They have me and Evan cracking up as they dance to Beyoncé’s Single Ladies. They are putting on quite the show for us. Thank God, there’s a table over me, so I can hide my reaction to the sight of Claire dancing.
Tonight, she’s wearing a navy blue, knee-length dress along with a pair of brown boots that only go to her ankles. She looks sexy as hell.
Beyoncé finishes singing about being single and Avery puts another song on. Garth Brook’s To Make You Feel My Love comes on and Evan gets out of his chair to dance with his wife. I’m not usually a country fan, but I can’t leave Claire standing in the middle of the dance floor by herself.
I scoot myself out of my chair and make my way towards her.
“Milady, can I have this dance?”
She giggles and then takes my outstretched hand. “Well, yes, kind sir, you can.” Damn, she’s making this really hard on me, in more ways than one.
I have her right hand in mine and I hold our hands close to my heart so she’s forced to be close to me. My right hand snakes around her hip. I have to be careful about how I touch her because her brother is only ten feet away from us. I’m not sure why, but, tonight, she is very carefree and I’m loving it.
She wraps her free arm around me. I’m sure she can feel what she’s doing to me, but, frankly, I don’t fucking care. It’s time she realizes how much she affects me.
31
Ryker
The next day, I’m sitting in my truck at the park. I’m nervous as hell and my palms are sweating like crazy. I need to man up and get this off my chest. This will either work in my favor or crush me. I’m not sure if I’m ready to find out, but then I see Claire walking toward our bench, probably wondering why the hell I’m in my truck.
I turn the truck off and work up the courage to face the woman that has changed my life.
“What are you doing?” She gives me a confused look as I shut the door.
“Just wanted to see you. Is that alright?” She’s standing next to the bench but then runs to where I’m standing in the parking lot. She leans in and gives me a tight hug and then kisses me on the cheek. Oh, my God. She smells incredible. I think I need to get some of this vanilla shit she always wears, so I can spray my pillow with it. I’d love to smell her all night. Allen, you’re fucking nuts. Once I snap out of it, I hug her back.
“What was that for?” I don’t let go of her as I stare down into her awe-inspiring eyes.
“Nothing.” She starts to back away, the apples of her cheeks turning pink. I wonder what the rest of her looks like when she’s flustered. Stop being an asshole.
“Claire?” I catch her by her arm.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ever be embarrassed around me, alright?” The last thing I meant to do was make her feel uncomfortable.
“Okay.” She nods and gives me that smile that always has my dick coming to attention.
Without another word, we walk toward the lake.
“Do you want to, uh, go for some coffee?” I’m acting like a fucking dumb ass.
“Uh. You asked me to come to the park so we could go for coffee?” She looks at me like I’m insane. I am fucking insane. I don’t even know what I’m saying to her at this point.
“No.” I shake my head.
“You okay? You’re acting strange.” I’ve only known this woman for a short time, but she already seems to be able to read me well. I’m good at putting on a front, but she sees right through my bullshit.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I look straight ahead, trying to figure out what I’m going to say to her. I feel like a damn high school girl.
“But, seriously, why did you ask me to come? Not that I mind, but I have a feeling you need to talk about something.”
I grab her hand and take her to the nearest bench. Not our bench, but I really need to sit down before I say anything else.
I let go of her hand and run my fingers through my too long hair. Damn, I need a haircut. She’s now completely facing me, waiting for me to say something. I stand back up. She gives me a questioning look but doesn’t say anything as I squat between her legs. When I look up at her, she looks nervous. Here goes nothing.
“Ryke, what are you doing?” Her voice is shaky.
“Do you want to know why I was sitting in my truck like a pussy?” When she nods, I go on. “I want more with you, Claire. I know there’s a good chance you don’t want the same, but I needed to tell you.”
She gasps. “You mean like you want a relationship? With me?”
“Yes, Claire Davis, I do.” I smile up at her.
“You said you don’t do relationships.”
“You’re right, I did say that. But you’ve changed me.”
“I think there’s something I need to tell you first.” She looks around at everything but me.
“What is it, sweetheart?” Suddenly I’m terrified to know her answer.
“I’m…” She hesitates.
“You’re what?” I’m trying fucking hard to be patient, but she’s got me freaking the hell out.
“Married,” she whispers and I feel like I’ve been socked in the damn stomach.
I stand to my feet. “You’re what?” I growl.
“Hear me out, alright?” I look down at her and see that her eyes are glossed over with tears. I hate seeing her like this, but I can’t bring myself to comfort her right now. How could she do this?
“Hear you out? You want me to fucking hear you out?” I’m sure that if there are any other walkers out, they can hear how pissed I am.
She stands from the bench.
“Yes! Would you fucking hear me out?”
She looks at me as I tug at my hair with both my hands.
I shake my head. “No. No, I can’t do this.
Without taking another glance at her, I’m sprinting toward the parking lot, not able to get to my truck fast enough. How the fuck could she do this to me? I told her that Monica cheated on me and now this.
I sound like a goddamned caveman because it’s not like she waited until we got serious
to tell me. But how could she spend all this time with me and never mention her fucking husband? I should have known when she was vague about her son’s father.
32
Ryker
It’s been two days. Two, long, grueling days. After I caught Monica cheating on me, I was hurt, a lot. But this is different. I could actually see myself settling down one day with Claire. I should have known she didn’t feel the same way when she wouldn’t even bring her child around me. I know I don’t have a very good history when it comes to women, but damn.
I don’t think I’ve ever drunk so much in my fucking life. My head hurts as I turn to look at the bright blue numbers on the clock next to me, reminding me of the night before.
Claire hasn’t stopped texting me since Friday, asking me to call her or to at least respond to her messages. What the hell would I even say to her? It’s okay. I understand you have a fucking husband. No big deal. No, I have absolutely nothing to say to her. As much as I miss her beautiful smile and contagious laugh, I won’t allow myself to talk to her.
Once again, my phone goes off. Fuck. I’ve considered running to the cellular store to get a new phone number so she can’t contact me, but what the hell good will that do if she shows up on my doorstep, wanting to explain herself? Not that there’s anything to explain. She’s married. Plain and simple.
Brown-eyed Girl: Please call me. I think you’ll want to hear what I have to say.
Pretty sure I don’t want to hear anything she has to say. I know that she had said she didn’t want a relationship with me, but she hinted at it several times. Why the hell else were we spending so much time together? Friends don’t do that. At least, I don’t do that with friends.
When I left her at the park the other night, I went to an old bar that my dad used to frequent when we were kids, Maverick’s. I knew she wouldn’t think to look there because I had never told her about the place. I drank too much, completely forgetting I was supposed to close the bar. Austin left Brian in charge and ended up rescuing my ass before I got the police called on me for acting like a shit head. Why am I letting this woman get to me like this? Maybe I’m the dumb ass for letting her get close to me. We weren’t even fucking together. Hell, we never even fucked, but this still stings like a bitch.
Revived (Unexpected Series Book 1) Page 13