Shay hadn’t been at the hospital when I woke up, but I told her about everything that took place. How Trevor and Evan fought about who would take care of me. I didn’t understand why my brother thought I needed to go clear to Phoenix.
“Because he’s an asshole,” she pauses, seeming to choose her next words carefully. “He cheated on you,” she whispers. I can tell she wasn’t sure if she should be the one to tell me this.
I gasp. “What?” I now have tears falling from my eyes. Why the hell did I come home with this man if he couldn’t even be faithful in our marriage? “Oh, my God. Are you serious?” I can’t stop crying. She comes over from the rocking chair and carefully climbs into the bed with me. “I wasn’t living here, was I?” I hiccup.
“No.” I look over and see a single tear run down her face.
“Is that why Evan wanted me to go to Phoenix with them?” Not that I could have anyway with all my injuries.
“Yeah.” She fidgets with the hem of her shirt. “You were staying in Phoenix for the last several months.” She lays her head on my shoulder. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just didn’t want to upset you anymore.”
“No, it’s probably good you didn’t.” I lay my head back. “If I had been in Arizona, why was I here?”
“You came back because he threatened to try to get custody of Brady. Don’t worry, though. Your brother made sure you have the best damn lawyer in Chicago before he took off. One of his friends from law school.”
I suddenly can’t breathe. Oh, my God. I can’t lose my baby.
“I need my baby,” I sob. “Shay, I can’t lose him.” How could Trevor do such a horrible thing to me? He doesn’t know shit about taking care of a child. Why would he do this?
“Shh, shh. You’re not going to lose him, sweetie” She hugs me gently, mindful of my shoulder. “Why don’t I go get him so you can see him? Would you like that?”
I nod. “Yeah. I feel so awful because I didn’t even recognize my own child. What kind of mother am I?”
“Claire, you were in a horrible car accident that almost took your life. Cut yourself some slack. Brady knows you love him.”
Shay leaves to get my son and I sit back, still not fully comprehending what she just told me. My husband cheated on me and now he’s trying to keep our child from me. I have got to get out of here.
52
Ryker
The last three weeks have been the worst weeks of my life. I know I sound like a fucking drama queen, but I miss Claire so damn much and there’s nothing I can do about it. Not a damn thing. After she was released from the hospital, I called Evan for the first week to get updates on her. After that, he told me to stop and that he’d let me know if she started to remember me. So, in the meantime, I just sit back and wait. Wait. I feel like I’ve always been a patient man, but when it comes to this woman, I can’t just continue on with my life like she was never part of it.
I’ve woken almost every night from a nightmare. Even after everything with my mother and with Monica, not once did I lose sleep. This woman quickly worked her way into the depths of my soul and there’s no way for her ever to get out. I’ve faced a lot of pain in my life, but the thought of her not knowing who I am has brought me nothing but numbness. I don’t for one second regret my time with her, even if it’s all I ever get.
As much as I want her back in my life, more so than that, I just want her to be happy. I know she didn’t remember what Trevor had done to her. I told Evan that someone needed to tell her, but all of the doctors she had seen suggested that we let her remember on her own. Sometimes people who wake up from a coma get overwhelmed with all the information thrown at them. The last thing I want to do is overwhelm her, but, damn it. I just want my girl back.
I know I haven’t been pleasant to be around and I’ve even managed to piss off a few customers. I’ve had some requests to do another live music night, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. The last time we had one was the first time I ever saw my brown-eyed girl. I know I’d spend the entire night waiting for her to walk through the door. I’d be vastly disappointed because I know that would never happen.
We were told that it isn’t guaranteed that Claire will ever regain all of her memory. She remembered everything up until the last six months before that fucker claimed her. I can never express how grateful I am that her life was spared, but, in a way, it feels like she’s gone from this earth. My world isn’t spinning without her in it.
“Hello?” I answer after one ring, already knowing who it is. She’s been calling me almost every day.
“Anything new?” Sierra asks from the other end.
I huff. “No, I have no fucking clue what’s going on.” I run my hands through my greasy hair. I haven’t taken much care of myself and I know I’m probably starting to smell like roadkill from lack of showering. This is what losing the other half of your heart feels like. I know my friends think I’m insane for acting this way. They say I didn’t know her long and that I shouldn’t get mixed up with a married woman anyway. If I had the energy, I would have strangled those bastards for having to remind me of that detail. But I can deal with her being married. I just can’t handle not having her in my life. I feel like a vital limb from my body is missing, making it near impossible to function.
“This is shit. You know that?” I can hear the heartache in her voice. “She’s my best friend and she doesn’t have a damn clue who I am.”
Having just met Sierra not long before she met me, Claire doesn’t remember her either. We’ve kind of formed a friendship of our own, together mourning for a woman we both love.
“It’s going to be alright,” I lie. “One of these days, she’s going to wake up and realize that the two coolest fucking people on the planet are waiting for her and she’ll come back.” I wish I could for one second believe the bullshit I’m spewing.
I hear Sierra tearfully chuckle on the other end.
“You are fucking insane, but I hope you’re right.”
“How’s Miles? Do you know when he’s coming home yet?” I ask, trying to change the subject. We’ve talked a few times about her husband who is currently deployed. He hasn’t met their young son yet and I know it’s been difficult on her.
“Hopefully, next month, but we know not to get too excited because things can always change last minute.”
“Well, I can’t wait to meet the man who decided to put up with your shit for the rest of his life,” I laugh.
“Fuck you,” She laughs. “But, really. Call me as soon as you hear anything.”
“I will. Talk to you later.”
I mindlessly go through the rest of my day, ready to climb back into bed. I know that sooner or later I’m going to have to once again be a productive member of society, but right now is not that time. If I could only wake from this nightmare, everything would be fine. More than fine. They’d be fucking fantastic.
53
Claire
Since I got to Phoenix, my injuries have healed, except for my shoulder that I still wear in a sling. At least, I can walk again. My brother has been acting strange, not really knowing how to act when I’m around. I spent the first week here, mourning for a life I left behind in Chicago. Don’t get me wrong, I know I don’t love Trevor, but it makes me sad that Brady doesn’t have his father anymore. Before we left, he threatened me with custody and it was then that I was sure that everything Shay told me was true. It’s hard to take everyone’s word all the time, not knowing what to believe or who to trust. Obviously, I couldn’t even trust my damn husband.
On our way to the airport, Shay asked me if I knew who Ryke was. The name was familiar, but I wasn’t sure who she was talking about.
Claire, you called me the first night you met him and I could tell how affected you were by him. You didn’t think you could trust him because he was only a player, but you later realized that he was much more than that. Somewhere along the line, you fell in love again and I don’t think I’ve ever known you
to be so happy. As soon as he found out about the accident, he was on the next flight out and by your side as much as they’d let him and he didn’t leave without a fight.
That was when I realized who the dark-haired stranger was that kept calling me sweetheart. I still don’t remember him before that, though. When I asked Evan about him, he told me that he’d been bugging the hell out of him to find out how I was doing. It was a nice feeling, knowing someone cared that much. But I still have no idea what happened between us. Did we kiss? Sleep together? I have no fucking clue and it’s pissing me off.
“Hey, Claire, I’m back in the kitchen!” Avery yells as I walk into the house with Brady on one arm and his overflowing diaper bag in the other.
“Aby!” Brady yells. As much as I want my own place, I love that my son has developed a close bond with Evan and Avery.
“Hi, Bubba. How’s Aunt Avery’s guy?” He stretches his arms out, wanting her to hold him. Little traitor. She looks my way, concern in her eyes. “Hey, you okay?”
I nod. “Yeah, I’m just tired.” It’s the truth. I’m exhausted all the time, but I am thankful that she and Evan have helped me so much with my son.
“You know you can tell me anything, right? Or ask me anything?” She and Evan have both told me several times that they’re willing to answer whatever questions I have about the last six months. I can’t believe I spent most of them here and don’t remember a freaking thing about it.
I sigh. “Will you tell me about Ryke? Shay told me that I was in love with him but had a falling out with him right before everything. Did we break up?”
“Yeah, but it was all from a huge misunderstanding.” She takes a deep breath, readying herself for what she’s about to tell me next.
“What do you mean?” She’s spiked my curiosity. I feel like a huge piece of shit for not remembering the guy. I would really like to go see him, but what the hell would I even say to him? I’m sorry I don’t remember you, will you remind me with that delicious body of yours?
I remember he had the body of a god, with chiseled assets and piercing blue eyes that would bring any human with a vagina to their knees.
“Uh, I don’t know if I should say anything else.” She turns away from me, busying herself in the kitchen even though she has absolutely nothing she needs to be doing.
“God damn it, Avery. I’m fucking sick of everyone tiptoeing around me. I’m not going to flipping break!” I feel bad for the way I’m acting, but I just want to know what my life was like. How can I ever get my life back if I have no clue where to start?
“What’s going on in here?” I turn toward the sound of my brother’s voice.
“I just want to know about Ryke, but nobody will fucking tell me. I forgot I’m a damn toddler that needs to be sheltered.” I storm out of the room… like a damn toddler.
I have never felt so lost in all my life and I hope to God that this feeling goes away soon. I don’t know how much longer I can live with this. Six months is a long fucking time and I know I’m forgetting some important things. Like I still don’t remember catching Trevor cheating, but honestly, that’s a memory that I’m all for keeping buried. But from what everyone has told me, I was starting to find happiness again.
“Knock. Knock.” I sit up on my bed and see the door slowly creak open.
“Uh, who are you?” There stands a girl, probably a few years younger than me, with short, dark black hair. She’s wearing a pair of cut-off denim shorts with a white wife-beater. She definitely does not lack character, but I have no clue who she is.
“Sierra,” she says slowly as if she’s worried I’ll bolt from her at any moment.
“Do I know you?” I already know the answer to that but ask anyway.
“Yeah.” She sits down at the foot of the bed and I decide to join her at the opposite side.
“Are we friends?” It’s such a shitty thing to ask someone, but I want to know about all the people who were in my life before. I remember family, of course, and Shay because we were friends for years, but if I had any friends here, I don’t remember them.
“Best,” she whispers.
I get a stinging in my throat, unable to form words. I’ve been skeptical about who I can trust, but I know that Evan and Avery wouldn’t have let her in their house if I couldn’t trust her. She must be someone important to me.
“You live in Phoenix?”
“Yeah, actually you and Brady lived with me and my baby, Auggie.”
That’s when the tears start to come. I can’t believe I can’t remember someone who took me and my son in, gave us a place to live.
“Hey, it’s okay.” She scoots over towards my side of the bed and wraps her arms around me. At first, I tense at her touch, but I’m immediately comforted by her. It’s like my mind doesn’t remember her, but my heart does.
Once my tears dry up and I’m calmer, we sit for the next hour and talk about things we did together. Well, she tells me how we met at a psychiatric hospital and we reunited after we went our separate ways. Before today, I had no idea that I had gone through such a rough time after leaving Trevor. I decide I don’t want to mourn for him any longer. He’s not worth my tears or energy. I’ll take Brady to visit him when I have to, but that’ll be it.
That night after getting Brady in bed, I lie awake, my mind unable to shut down. I had decided not to ask Sierra about Ryke, even though I was sure she knew him. It seems these two people are the only two I can’t remember. Well, the only two important ones at least.
I wake with a start. I. Can’t. Breathe. I inhale and then slowly exhale, but my chest feels like an elephant is sitting on top of it. I feel my long hair and realize that it’s drenched in sweat. Then the images start to resurface.
Dark hair. Ocean blue eyes. Bright white smile. Walks at the park. Kissing on the Ferris wheel. Making love on haystacks in an old barn.
My head is pounding. I know the memories should be a relief, but instead they’re overwhelming.
I run to the bathroom connected to my room and splash water on my face. I feel like I need to be sick. What do I do now? Approach this man who is practically a stranger? No, he’s not a stranger. I’m in love with him. But if I’m in love with him, how did I possibly forget him? Surely, I wouldn’t forget someone so important to me. Would I?
I make it back to bed, thankfully not waking my son during my breakdown. I curl back onto my side, praying that sleep will take me back under, but it never does.
I spend the rest of the night silently crying to myself. How do I get back the life I once had?
54
Claire
The next afternoon, I’m exhausted from my lack of sleep and Brady is extremely fussy. I know he’s going to hate me, but I put him in his bed for a nap. He, of course, starts screaming at me. If he could, I know he’d be cussing me out right about now.
“Brady, take a nap and we’ll play later, baby.” I know my words aren’t helping at all as he continues to kick and scream.
But, just as I guessed, his eyes close as soon as his head hits the mattress. Thank God. This mama needs a break.
As I walk into the kitchen to grab a bottled water from the fridge, I notice that both Evan and Avery are giving me strange looks.
“Why are you guys looking at me like that?” I could really use a rum and coke right now, but this will have to do.
“What?” Avery quickly asks trying to sound innocent, but I can tell she’s up to something. I let it go because, frankly, I don’t care right now.
“Let’s go watch a movie on Netflix,” Evan suggests. I put some popcorn in the microwave and grab another water before parking my ass on their oversized chair. They are snuggled up on the couch. I have to admit, it’s kind of weird being here. I’m thankful that they took me in, but I really want to find a place of my own so they can get back to their lives.
Evan finds a sci-fi movie that he’s been “dying” to see and when I look over at the couch, I notice Avery is sound asleep. I can’t
really blame her because the movie is boring as hell. I have no clue what’s going on because, once again, my mind is straying to Ryke. I still haven’t decided what I’m going to do about him yet.
As I’m about to pass out, there’s a knock on the door. Evan stops the movie and gets up to answer it.
“Claire, it’s for you,” he calls from the front door.
Evan gives me a nervous look before he heads back to the living room. When I get to the door, I see the bitch I never wanted to see again.
“What the hell do you want?” I’m close to grabbing Monica’s hair, so I keep both hands on the door. I don’t feel like making a trip to the police station tonight. After finally remembering Ryke last night, I soon started remembering finding his ex at his house the last time I saw him. I don’t understand why he would have been at the hospital with me, but it really doesn’t matter.
“Claire, I know you hate me, but I needed to explain something to you.” She looks scared. Good, she should be.
“What could you possibly have to say to me?” I bite back at her. I can’t believe this is happening right now.
“Can I come in?” When she sees that I’m looking at her like she’s out of her freaking mind, she sits on the swing on the front porch. I pull the door shut and stand in front of her.
“Say what you need to, but I’m only giving you five minutes.” I’ll be proud of myself if I last that long with her.
“I’m not really sure how to tell you this, but your husband is the father of my child.” I can’t think straight. Did she just say what I think she said? What the hell?
“What?” I gasp. “You slept with my husband?” I yell.
“Yes,” she says quietly as she puts her head down. “I’m so sorry.” She looks back up at me.
Revived (Unexpected Series Book 1) Page 21