by Alice Bell
I could see how she might come across that way. “So did you… banish Violet?” I asked.
“No,” she seemed shocked by the idea. “I couldn’t. She wasn’t a ghost. And I don’t like banishing. I only take on ghost jobs—” she made air quotes with her fingers, “—if a spirit is trapped and I can offer release. I don’t deal in the dark arts, which is why Vampires are such a departure for me.”
“So what happened with Violet?” I was suddenly very anxious to hear what Erin had done to her.
“I got her to go home. Back to her sire.”
“How?”
“I appealed to her humanity. I helped her to let go. It was…” her voice cracked.
When I glanced at her, I saw her eyes were shiny.
“It was very emotional. It inspired me to conduct my own research. I was determined to find the gateway to the Vampire Realm.”
“It’s under the sanitarium?”
“One of the gateways. Or portals, as they’re more commonly called,” she turned to face me, her cheeks flushed. “There are seven.”
“A portal for each continent?” I guessed.
“Wrong,” she said. “There are two in Asia. None in Antarctica and none in South America. Two on this continent. Coffeen sits right on top of portal number seven. Can you believe it?”
“Where’s the other one?” I said, though I was pretty sure I knew the answer.
“Nicaragua,” she said.
Scarlett
I crossed the bridge and the lights of the city glowed on the water below me. The car vibrated over metal grates. On the other side, I pulled to the side of the road and checked the map I kept in the glove compartment, holding it under the dome light.
Stargazer Lane was on the way out of town toward the desert. I would have to pass by the sanitarium. I’d vowed never to return once I left. I hadn’t so much as driven by, though it wasn’t a bad place. It was just sterile with occasional moans and screams. The doctors claimed to be progressive. I met Dr. Ess there.
Coffeen was smaller than I remembered. I drove past slowly, not meaning to stare but unable to help myself. It was lit up. Lights glowed in the upper windows and flooded the yard. The fountain sparkled blue and red and purple, lit from within. Vertigo gripped me.
I hit the gas pedal.
At the intersection, a stoplight twisted in the wind.
I licked my lips and stretched my fingers. Visions of Autumn and Devon came unbidden. They were kissing and writhing. He would admire her bravado and see through it and fall in love with her youth and naiveté. She was an ingénue in a world where they were rare. Rock stars wrote songs for ingénues. Artists gave up their lives.
When the light turned, I sped away toward the desert, driving faster and faster, fueled by jealousy that burned like lust.
My headlights shone on a green wooden sign, splintered, the white lettering bleached off except for ST and Z. I drove on just to be sure there were no other roads. The desert stretched out on either side of me like a dark sea.
After a while, I turned the car around; pulling close to the edge of the road, cranking the wheel, backing up, turning the wheel again and working up a sweat. I wiped a strand of damp hair off my forehead.
When I got back to what could only be Stargazer Lane, I peered through my windshield. There was a cluster of lights and I could make out trailers. Something told me Devon was here.
Doom hovered. Heartbreak pulsed in my veins.
I headed back in the direction of the city, looking for a place to pull over. It was hard to be discreet in a pink Cadillac. Only movie stars and pimps and my grandmother would drive such a car. Driving it made me feel more like the person I wanted to be.
I turned into the gravel pits and parked behind a small pile of gravel. I was being dumb but what was the alternative? Staying home to climb the walls?
I had no problem acting crazy, as long as no one saw me. It was something I had to do, like keying Georgie’s car or breaking into those damn files. Guilt would plague me later but I never cared about later when I was caught up in a moment, obsessing.
I walked through the sagebrush carrying my mother’s vintage Louis Vuitton. The storm had scrubbed the sky clean. The stars twinkled brighter than I’d ever seen them. The scent of damp sage was pungent. Moisture beaded on my skin and mud clung to my boots. High above me the Milky Way arched across the sky, like a Welcome To Our Galaxy sign.
I’d heard the Andromeda galaxy was going to collide with ours someday and knock our sun into galactic space. Thinking of this gave me a shivery kind of excitement.
I came up on the ridge above what looked to be an old trailer park. There were five trailers set in a circle illuminated by a halogen bulb beaming down from a wooden pole. Orange party lights were strung between the trailers that were old, from the last century, probably the sixties. They were square and aluminum, flat and dirty white, each with a band of turquoise around the middle.
I hooked my mother’s bag over my shoulder and descended, walking in a diagonal direction because the hill was steep. I was out in the wide open but the stars cast a shimmery light, exposing me. At least I could count on most people being in bed.
My stomach did a flip when I thought of why I’d come. I needed to confirm my suspicions. Devon was here… in Autumn’s bed instead of mine. If I was confronted with his treachery, I might be cured of him.
And I might tell Autumn’s mother.
Maybe she already knew, if she was psychic. Maybe she didn’t care. Autumn seemed to be left to her own devices. As a high school teacher, I was always surprised how many parents treated their teens like adults. Of course, Autumn’s mother might be the one person to see through Devon, unshackled by the blinders of his beauty.
I felt a twinge of remorse.
Did I have it in me to betray him? What had happened between us was so intimate. Not only sex but the way he’d cut himself for me. But I simply could never forgive Devon if I caught him with a teenaged girl.
In this moment, under the sprawling night sky, I longed to be rid of him, to be free of the awful obsession he’d become to me. And it made me sad because it wasn’t even his fault that I was obsessed.
I stopped to listen.
All was quiet. I moved in closer.
Four motorcycles gleamed. Oh, God. Suddenly, I envisioned a snarling pack of dogs with spiked collars and big teeth.
A streak of white shot past me. I froze but it was just a cat. A very familiar looking cat.
Alceste? As if I’d spoken, he stopped and looked back. Alceste. I’d been so worried about him, sure he’d met a tragic fate but there was no mistaking the downturn of his whiskers and his eyes—one blue, the other green.
“You’re alive,” I whispered. I squatted and put out my hand. “Come here, baby. I missed you,” I cooed to him.
He flicked his tail before darting away under the stoop of the last trailer, the one I thought Autumn lived in.
According to her diary the stranger in her bed had been attempting to steal her cat. And I remembered Devon asking about Alceste; he’d seen a poster I put up at the 7-Eleven. Had he found Alceste and tried to bring him back to me? How chivalrous. I got fluttery and weak until I realized Autumn had ended up with Devon and my cat.
“Screw you, Alceste,” I muttered.
Why don’t you like me?
I crept toward the trailers, staying on the periphery of the light. The last trailer was perched on a foundation of cinder blocks. The curtains were filmy and I could see shadowy figures moving inside. The tallest shadow looked a lot like Devon.
I tried to make out the other person but I was too far away. I scuttled around the side of the trailer, clutching the Louis Vuitton against my chest. My panting breath sounded inhuman.
To see in the window, I had to stand on tiptoe. There was a crack in the curtains. I put my eye to the glass and instantly recognized the way Autumn’s long black hair fell down her back. Devon’s arms were around her.
M
y knees buckled.
I fell backward and clawed the air. When I landed, my mother’s bag hit me in the face. I fought it off as if it were a rabid animal.
I lay on my back, gasping for breath and stared up at the sky.
And then I was on my feet and running.
FIFTEEN
Devon
After walking me to the door, Erin surprised me by pulling me into a hug. Her embrace reminded me of warm safe place, a place from a long ago childhood and lost forever. Over the top of Erin’s head I caught movement at the window. A blue eye appeared, searching through a gap in the curtains.
Scarlett? What the—?
I disengaged from Erin.
“Remember,” Erin cautioned. “Friday.”
To be honest I didn’t want to remember. And I hadn’t decided if I was actually going to show up.
“See you,” I said.
“On Friday…”
Maybe, I thought.
I leaped off the stoop and loped around back. I saw Scarlett under the starlight running crookedly up the hill. A leather bag flapped at her side.
Watching her, I remembered the night we met, how questions about her came one after another. I thought she was clueless but she’d easily spotted me lurking in the shadows.
She glanced over her shoulder, stumbled and dropped to her knees. She scrambled up to run again. All the way out here across the expanse of sagebrush, I felt her despair and it charged me.
How I wished she was safe in bed.
I went after her.
Her ragged breath urged me on faster. When I took her down, she screamed. Her shoulders heaved.
She struck at my face. The bag was between us. I ripped it from her. A silver knife fell out.
I grabbed her hand as she came in for another blow. “Stop it.”
“Get off me. Get off me…” she shook her head back and forth. “I hate you…”
My gaze slid to the knife. I suppressed a moan. She was losing her mind. And it was my fault.
Scarlett
“Her mother, Scarlett,” Devon said. “Come on. It was just a hug.”
“Why would you be there? Hugging her mother?” I didn’t believe him for a minute.
“I’ll tell you…”
He’d taken my hand as we walked back to the car and I let him, too wrung out to object.
When we drove over the bridge, I leaned out the window to look up at the sky that was purple and bruised. I watched the stars fade one by one.
Now we were in my bedroom. “Don’t you believe me?” he said.
I didn’t answer. I pulled my sweater off over my head and unzipped my skirt. It made a swishing sound when it fell on the floor. I peeled off my stockings and crawled into bed wearing just my black bra and white slip.
He got behind me, still dressed. “It’s the truth, Scarlett. I haven’t lied to you.” His breath was warm on the back of my neck.
“Why should I believe you?”
“I have no reason to lie.”
I closed my eyes. I longed to sleep. “People don’t need a reason to lie,” I said.
“People lie to get what they want,” he said. “I take whatever I want. People lie to avoid pain. I don’t feel pain… I’m not a person…”
I sighed into the pillow, grateful for the soft simple comfort it brought. I thought about Devon not being a person. I guess he was right about that and yet it was a hard thing for me to wrap my mind around. After a while, I said, “Are you a hungry ghost?”
His laugh tickled my ear. “You mean those pathetic creatures with huge stomachs and tiny mouths?”
I turned over. He rested his hand on the curve of my waist. I touched his beautiful lips. “Your mouth isn’t tiny,” I put my hand under his shirt to feel his muscles. “You don’t have a big belly either.”
He caressed my cheek. “Tell me something. What’s with the knife in your bag?”
My face burned. “Nothing. It was dumb.” I averted my gaze. “I wouldn’t hurt anyone…”
But I thought of how I’d shoved Georgie and grabbed her ear. Worse, I’d told her she was a terrible teacher. I’d wanted to hurt her, like she’d hurt me.
He stroked my hair. “You have to take care of yourself, Scarlett. I mean it. Take your medication. Okay?”
How did he know I was medicated? Why did everyone know my personal business? I felt like I had ‘crazy’ stamped on my forehead.
“Promise me,” Devon said.
“I promise.” I loved looking at him so close up. I drank in every detail of his angelic face. “Devon?”
“Yeah?”
“Why were you were hugging Autumn’s mother?”
“She’s going to help me.”
“Help you what?” The air suddenly felt dense and cloying, like the night I learned my mother had died.
“Help me find out what happened to me.”
“How?” There was a tremor behind my eyelids.
He was quiet for a little while and then he said, “It’s complicated, Scarlett.”
I didn’t like his vagueness. “I’m not stupid,” I said.
“I know that.”
“Why won’t you tell me then? I can comprehend complex things.”
“I might have to go away,” he said.
My pulse raced. “For how long?”
He didn’t say anything and I heard his heartbeat.
“Are you coming back?” I said.
“Please don’t cry,” he said.
“I’m not crying. Listen to me. You can’t. Why do you want to leave?”
“It might not work, Scarlett.”
“You’re lying,” I said. “See… you do lie. Everyone lies.”
He wiped my tears with his thumb. “I’m not lying. It truly might not work and I won’t be able to leave anyway. Okay? It’s a long shot.”
“What? What might not work? Tell me.”
“I need to go where I can get answers and it’s… it’s really far away, Scarlett. And hard to get to. Autumn’s mother is the only one I know who might be able to help me.”
“Please don’t leave me. Please…” I reached for him.
His lips were on my neck.
“Take me with you,” I whispered.
SIXTEEN
Devon
Earlier, before, when Erin had driven past the city limits and the sky opened and the desert stretched out, I got a funny feeling.
As soon as I saw the trailers, I remembered following Scarlett’s cat and I remembered the gawky exotic girl and Scarlett’s accusations and it all slid into place. I figured the girl must be the daughter Erin mentioned in her manuscript. But I still couldn’t figure out how Scarlett got the idea I’d taken advantage of her.
Inside, Erin’s trailer was crammed with worn but expensive furniture and Victorian antiques that must have once graced an elegant home. Like Scarlett’s house, books were everywhere.
Erin had puttered around, making tea and grumbling about her daughter leaving all the lights on. She ignored me for a while, compiling ornately decorated tomes on a Formica table.
I leaned against the counter. My head touched the ceiling. When Erin finally turned to me, I said, “You want me to memorize all those books tonight? I’m not a speed reader, you know.”
“I thought you possessed supernatural powers.”
The books had a lot of pictures. We looked at the portals around the world. Their entries were marked with drawings of deities, each with their own mythology. Erin asked about my girlfriend who had disappeared and I told her about Zadie and what had happened in Nicaragua, which led to a new batch of books.
The night wore on and I couldn’t steal any energy from Erin.
I got achy for Scarlett. Of course, Erin sensed it. She stiffened in that way of hers I already recognized. It meant an attack of self-righteousness was coming on.
“This friend of yours,” she said. “From the sanitarium?”
“She’s not from the sanitarium,” I said.
Erin ignored me. “What’s her name?”
I hesitated before answering. “Scarlett.”
“Is she a special friend?” Erin said.
“Special? Are you asking if we hold hands at recess?”
Erin shook her head, like she was disappointed.
“What? I can’t have friends? Don’t worry. I read your book. I got the part about how I could kill her and all that. I’ll be careful.”
“No. Nooo. You can’t just be careful. You have to sever all ties with her.”
Erin was starting to piss me off. “With Scarlett? I don’t think so. She’s…” What was Scarlett to me? We’d only just met but I realized she was the one thing that made any sense. “Yeah, that’s not going to happen,” I told Erin.
Erin’s chair scraped across the beat up linoleum. I thought she was really getting worked up as I watched her open a cupboard and push aside bottles filled with colorful liquids. Plastic baggies of dried herbs fell out onto the floor.
“Excuse me a moment,” she disappeared.
I listened to her footsteps hurrying to the back of the trailer and considered making a break for it. But I was hungry for answers and Erin was the only chance I had at finding them.
After a while, I heard her chanting in a strange language. The hairs on the back of my neck prickled. When she came back, she presented me with what looked like an aspirin.
“Are you a drug dealer too?” I said.
“It will erase Scarlett’s memory of you,” she said.
“Are you kidding? What if this got into the wrong hands and someone lost an eye… or their frontal lobe? Jesus, what’s your problem? Look, I don’t want it. Here,” I thrust it at her. “Take it back.”
She refused.
“Listen, Erin,” I kept my tone civil but I was about done with her. “I like you alright but not that much. Okay? Take your freak show and put it away. I told you. I don’t want it.” I slapped the pill on the table and stood up. “I think we’re done here.”
She stared at me but not like I’d put her in her place or anything, more like she was waiting for me to calm down and I wasn’t about to. “If you think I’m going to slip a roofie into Scarlett’s water or some fucked up shit like that,” I said. “You’re wrong. And completely whacked.”