by Ivy Kovacs
- I’ll be here. – I joked humorlessly and he rolled his eyes before pecking my lips and walking out. I let out a deep sigh after the door closed and I was alone. The loneliness didn’t last long because the doctor walked in to do the daily check-up.
- How are you feeling today? – He asked looking at my head.
- Fine. – I responded curtly.
- Headache, nausea, vomiting? – He asked while examining me.
- Just a headache. – Though the painkillers helped with that.
- Did you sleep last night? – He held his index finger up and moved it in front of my eyes, so I followed them.
- Not much. – I admitted.
- Were you in pain? –
- Not really. I couldn’t seem to shut my mind off. – I shrugged and sat up on the bed carefully.
- That’s normal. You went through something tragic. I could give you some melatonin pills if you’d like. – He flipped through my files.
- That’s alright, thank you. – I politely declined his offer. – When can I go home exactly? – I hated being in hospitals.
- We’re keeping you in until tomorrow. We did a CT scan after we brought you in and fortunately your brain and your skull wasn’t damaged. Besides a scalp laceration, there’s nothing serious going on. The unconsciousness was probably because of the hard blow or the severe anxiety you were exposed to. You could say it affected you so deeply because of the lower SSRI intake. –
- We’ll do another CT scan later today and I’ll check if everything’s alright. If so, you’re free to go home tomorrow, but you must take it easy. Especially until your scalp heals. – He demanded.
I nodded and he gave me a soft smile before exiting the room. Soon after he left someone knocked on the door again. I truly hoped it wasn’t Dylan. – Yes? –
- Grace? – Dom walked in shyly. He had a bouquet of flowers in his hand and his face was painted with horror. Probably from yesterday's image.
- Dom! Hi. – I said a little more enthused than him.
- Hey. – He closed the door after himself and walked closer to me. – I got you some flowers. – He placed them on the table.
- They are beautiful, thank you. – I smiled.
- You look good. – He said, unsure if he was supposed to say it out loud or not.
- I feel good too. – I replied.
- I’m sorry I didn’t follow you sooner. I could’ve caught you before… -
- It’s fine. – I said before he could finish what he wanted to say. – I’m alive. Thank you for coming after me, though. –
- I only got there when Dylan yanked her off the bleachers. Then I saw you stumble away so I followed. – He exhaled slowly. – Dylan told me what happened before that… -
- You spoke to Dylan? –
- He called me this morning. He insisted on me staying with you until someone else would come and switch my place. – He chortled quietly.
– He’s impossible. – I sighed.
- I was worried he would hurt you but I realized that I was wrong. He really loves you. I haven’t seen him like this. Not even before he met Max. – My heart felt lighter with each sentence. I was more and more in love with this boy with each minute passing.
- How did he react when… - I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
- I’ve never seen someone so heartbroken. I swear his eyes shifted black from the pain. I can’t quite remember because I was in shock too. – He added the last sentence more quietly.
- I’m sorry, Dom… - I sighed and looked away from his face.
- I’m just glad you’re okay. – He held my hand gently.
- What happened after we left? – I was curious again. I didn’t want to interrogate him but I hoped he could fill in the blanks.
- I heard that Debby broke Madison’s nose. She was heartbroken as well. We all were. – He said looking at me and released my hand. – My screams for help drew everyone to the scene so most of them saw… - He took a deep breath. Was he feeling guilty? – I haven’t heard gossips but if I do I’ll tell you. – He ensured.
- Thank you. – As we spoke someone knocked once and barged in. It was my uncle and my grandma.
- I was about to go anyway. I’ll talk to you later. – He said and gave me a soft smile before leaving.
My uncle and my grandmother brought me some essentials and some clothes. They also got me some strawberries which I ate during their visit. They both relaxed a bit knowing that I was alright and they were thankful for Dylan and Dom. I was too.
I couldn’t be more thankful to have people care about me like them. Plus Debby. I saw her messages but I was too distracted by my non-stop surveillance to reply to her.
My uncle already had everything organized for tomorrow. He was going to pick me up with Dylan and I’ll be staying with them for a few weeks at least. Grandma insisted on that too. She knew I’d feel better in a more modern environment. She would probably be there most of the time anyway.
Soon Dylan entered the room dressed and freshly showered. I could smell his cologne from the bed, it was so intense. – Sebastian. Mrs. Smith. – He nodded greeting them.
- Hello Dylan. – Uncle Seb replied wagging his head once.
- I got you a green tea on the way. – He placed the Starbucks cup on the bedside table.
- You shouldn’t have. – I was thankful for his gesture but I hated being spoiled. He silenced me by placing his index finger in front of his lips and I shook my head. – I hate hospitals. – I sighed.
- The visitors can’t come empty-handed. – Nana said. - You wouldn’t either. – She was right. Though I never had to actually visit anyone in hospitals. It seemed like I was the one they had to visit all the time.
The nurses came in and took me for my scan but my family said they’d stay and wait. It took about 25 minutes and then they pushed me back to my room in a wheelchair.
- I feel like a cripple. – I growled climbing into the bed.
- The nightgown suits you. – Uncle Seb teased.
- Very funny. – I rolled my eyes and tucked my legs in.
About an hour later nana and Seb left and Dylan walked closer to kiss me.
I giggled.
- What? – He pulled away to look at me.
- You didn’t dare to kiss me until they left. – I grinned.
- You’re not wrong. – He tried to keep a serious face but he failed and a small chortle escaped from his lips.
- I love you, dork. – I smiled lacing our fingers together.
- Oh, I’m the dorky one? – He laughed and I nodded smiling.
At that very moment, there was no guilt in me. Not a single drop of it could be found inside my body. Seeing my mother eased the guilt I’ve been feeling for half a year. Even when I was with Dylan, I couldn’t fully quit the thoughts, but now… I was happy. I had everything. I had my mother with me, my boyfriend, my family, and two great friends. Even though I missed her deeply, the thought of her watching after me, eased the miserable pain.
- That Twilight movie yesterday… it was incredibly cringey. – He said as he was looking through Netflix to find something to watch.
- No, it wasn’t! I love that movie. – I pursed my lips.
- It hurt me to watch. – He mocked.
- You fell asleep after half an hour! –
- That was enough of it. – He tried to hold back his laugh and I rolled my eyes.
- You’re annoying. – I took the remote from him.
- The girls in the cast look hot though. – He added and waited for my response.
- Maybe I should break up with you and find a hundred-year-old vampire for myself. – I was the one teasing him now.
- Good luck with that. – He murmured and I let out a short laugh.
- So you’re insisting on watching the second movie? – I searched it out on Netflix.
- No! – He grabbed the remote from me immediately. I laughed out loud and watched him choose a movie. He picked The Great Gatsby. I haven’t
seen that movie before but he said it was one of his favourites and I ended up loving it.
The next day I showered and got ready for my leave. I heard thuds and people yelling outside. I walked out from the bathroom as quickly as I could but it was all quiet and Dylan was sitting on the bed, on his phone.
- Did you hear that? – I asked curiously.
- Hear what? – He looked up from his phone.
- I thought I heard someone yelling. – I said confusedly.
- I was watching a video. – He jiggled the phone in his hand and I nodded slowly.
- I swear it sounded real. – I sighed and shrugged it off.
Dylan took my bags and we slowly walked down to the car. Aunt Bex was well-prepared for my arrival. She baked cookies and filled the closet with my clothes.
thirty
- Grace! – My aunt cheered and hugged me tightly. I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head and winced quietly. – Oh, sorry. – She pulled away brushing my arms with her hands as she let go of me.
- We got your clothes from mom’s. Becca bought you some new ones as well. – My uncle said and carried my bags upstairs.
- You shouldn’t have. – I sulked slightly. – Thank you. – I murmured.
- Did you get your stuff? – Aunt Bex asked and I looked confused. Seb literally just carried them upstairs.
- Yeah, Sebastian already brought them over yesterday. – Dylan replied from behind and closed the front door. I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. – They wanted me to stay with you. At least until you get better. – He looked at me, standing straight.
- I’m starting to worry that aliens brainwashed my uncle. – I joked sarcastically.
- Aren’t you happy about your new roommate? – He grinned at me and I giggled.
- Of course, I am. – I added honestly. A part of me wished he’d stay with me after I was out of the hospital. We’ve been together for about a month but it seemed like a year if not more.
He helped me stumble upstairs because I was still feeling a bit nauseous and I sat down on my bed. Our bed now. I couldn’t help but smile at my latter thought.
- What are you thinking about? – He took his hoodie off and his shirt under slid up, revealing his bare torso, but as soon as he pulled the hoodie off himself, the gravitation forced it back down.
- Nothing. – I shrugged with a grin.
- You’re not good at lying. – He declared. I was never a good liar. I couldn’t even tell white-lies to my mom when I was making her a present or when I was sneaking out. My facial expression and stuttering always gave me away.
- I know. – I sighed and placed my phone on the nightstand. I haven’t used it much since the accident so it didn’t bother me that the screen was cracked. – I’m just happy you’re here. – I told him the truth.
- I’m not as feminine as your RN but I’ll try my best. – He joked and his lips curved into a smile. I made him happy, even with my messed up, tragic life. I was the reason for his smile. I wondered if he knew he was the reason for mine.
- Did you talk to Debby? – I asked discreetly, without the intention of ruining the mood. I still managed to. Dylan’s eyes shifted darker.
- Don’t worry about it. – He attempted to ease his expression but I had a gut feeling that something was wrong. He was hiding something.
- Tell me. – I demanded.
- Grace, you should rest. The doctor only allowed you to come home because we agreed that you’d be on bed rest for at least three weeks. – He tried to change the subject but it didn’t work.
- Tell me. – I demanded again in a deeper voice.
He sighed, sat down on a chair, and took my hand into his. – Let me remind you that we’re working on it, okay? It will be alright, I promise. – He started and my anxiety kept expanding. – We’re being expelled. – He murmured just loud enough for me to hear. I gasped. – But we’re on it! Your uncle is helping us a lot and Debby’s parents as well. –
It didn’t matter what he said. The only thing circling around my mind was that they were being kicked out of school because of me. Because they were protecting me.
- Say something, please. – He begged, stroking my hand with his thumb.
- Why? – I managed to force out a word through the shock I was under.
- Well, I pushed her off the bleachers and... Deb broke her nose. – He said quietly as if he was ashamed.
- Dom told me. – I let out a small sigh.
- Oh. – That was all he said and then we sat silently in the same position for a while. I was thinking about everything I could do to fix the mess I made. The guilt was back, almost as powerful as it was when my mother died. I ruined two people’s future. How could I ever make that right?
- Do not beat yourself up. – He glared at me. – Do you hear me? It’s none of your fault. – He squeezed my hand gently between his hands.
- How could I not? I ruined your lives! – I yelled.
- No you didn’t! I told you we’re working on it! – He raised his voice only to convince me yet I still shuddered. – I’m sorry. – His voice was soft now.
Silence again. I was forcing myself to think with the headache that felt like it was destroying my braincells. The only way to fix this is to tell the school everything. Everything that happened in April and everything that followed. When I transferred they didn’t question about the whys, they knew that it was something awful and didn’t push the limits on my uncle. He tended to get annoyed fairly easily. - I’ll confess everything. –
Dylan’s face froze and his eyes locked with mine. – What? No! – He disagreed but my mind was already settled. – No, that’s why you moved states! You can’t tell them, it would crush you. -
- I’ll be fine. – I tried to believe myself. I couldn’t be selfish. Not now, when they needed my help. I could only hope that the principal would reconsider his choice.
- No, Grace. I won’t let you do that. – He shook his head disapprovingly.
- Dyl... I already made my choice. – I added softly and cupped his cheeks between my cold hands. I wasn’t used to Georgia weather.
- You’re too good... – He sighed.
- For you or in general? – I tried to lighten his mood.
- Both, but mostly for me. – He answered looking into my eyes. They were full of worry and the green spots in them looked more vibrant now.
- I love you. – I whispered resting my forehead against his. I could feel the warmth of his breath against my face.
- I love you too. – He muttered.
thirty-one
Dylan went home to pack some of his stuff that he needed from Max's and I took the opportunity and drove to school with my uncle's old Volkswagen. It was very risky to be driving like this but I wanted to talk to the principal as soon as possible. Lily was at school and my aunt went grocery shopping, so it was the perfect timing to sneak out. It was past three so the only students there would be the football players.
I parked close to the entrance and got out of the car. A memory flashed in my mind when I saw the freshly cleaned block next to the low brick wall. It was so clean that the other concrete blocks seemed disgustingly dirty compared to it. They must've used a lot of bleach to remove the bloodstain.
- Grace? – James was walking out of school with his backpack swung over his shoulder and looked shocked. It was like he couldn't believe his eyes.
- Hey. – I responded simply.
- Ho...what are you doing here? – He stuttered.
- I wanted to talk to the principal. – I told him my intentions and walked up the stairs. – Excuse me. – I added politely and entered the school.
The hall was so empty, I could hear my steps, which was unusual. I stumbled towards the principal's office and knocked on the door. Without a word, the principal opened his door and his eyes widened when he saw me. My face was probably faint because I felt dizzy from walking too much. My head was still not back to its normal way and balancing seemed like a hard thing to d
o. That explained the stumbling and nausea.
- Grace? What are you doing here? You should be in a hospital. – He peeked behind me to see if I was escorted and when he saw that I wasn't his eyes extended even more.
- I need to talk to you, Sir. – I breathed in through my nose and exhaled through my mouth.
- Come, sit down. – He pulled out a chair for me and filled a plastic cup with water. He handed it to me and I took a small sip.
- Thank you. – I felt a little better already. – I wanted to tell you the truth. –
- I'm not sure I understand, dear. – He looked confused and a v appeared between his brows.
- About my past. – I continued. I took a deep breath and placed the cup down in my lap, resting my arms on my thighs. – I had an accident in April. Our car fell off a cliff and while I survived with fatal injuries, my mother did not. – It was crazy how much progress I've made through these months. Three months ago I couldn't even think about the accident, let alone say the story out loud.
– I was between life and death for a few days before the doctors stabilized me. The death of my mother, my only parent, broke me. It still does. – I took another deep breath. – I kept it to myself until I met Dylan, Debby, and Dominic. They knew that I did not want the truth to be told. I didn't want to be the one they were talking about between classes and in lunch breaks. – I kept my eyes on the plastic cup.
– My mental health is not good, Mr. Walker. – I looked into his eyes to be more convincing, though I was only telling the painful truth. – Madison found out about the accident and sought revenge because I got her kicked out from the cheerleading team. Well, to be exact, she chose to leave because I wouldn't. – I corrected myself to be more specific. – So after the match, she grabbed the microphone and started teasing me and Dylan. I can't remember the exact words but she told everyone that I was damaged. That's when Dylan stopped her. I remember he was being polite but she didn't stop. That's when things got... aggressive. – It was hard to think about.