by Ivy Kovacs
After scrolling through my phone, my stomach reminded me that I haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon. I grabbed myself together, got dressed into the leggings and top that I brought, and quietly walked out into the kitchen. My eyes spotted Oliver and Cameron on the couch and in the armchair. They were both deeply asleep. I opened the fridge and found a bunch of eggs so I decided to make breakfast.
I tried to be very quiet, not to wake them up. I don’t think I’ve ever cracked eggs so carefully before. The eggs were ready in a few minutes and the scent filled the entire living room area.
– Do I smell breakfast? – Oliver sniffed into the air with closed eyes. I couldn’t help but chuckle. His eyes darted open. – Grace? What are you doing? –
- Breakfast. – I responded quietly but Oliver already woke Cameron up.
- Dude, I’m starving. – He patted Cameron’s head on the way to the kitchen. His hair looked messy, not well-made like it always was. I placed a plate in front of him and he filled it with the scrambled eggs. He moaned when he tasted the first bite.
- These are just eggs. – I laughed.
- I haven’t eaten eggs like this since sophomore. – He took a big bite of the bread.
- I thought you were living at home. – I said while changing the coffee in the coffee machine.
- He’s a hobo. Just like Dyl was until he moved in with you. – Cameron sat down next to Oliver. They thought we were living together with Dylan. I mean it would be fun, sure, but we’ve only been dating for about two months. I decided not to comment on his sentence.
- Bro, keep her. She knows how to cook. – Oliver said enthused when Dylan appeared in the living room, only wearing the boxers he’d slept in.
- It’s not that hard to make scrambled eggs. – I rolled my eyes with a small smile on my face.
- Good morning. – Dylan’s low morning voice spoke against my skin as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, and placed a small peck on my cheek.
- Dude... I’m eating breakfast. – Cameron complained and I laughed. Dylan grinned, pulled my chin up delicately, and kissed my lips.
Cameron made a gagging sound which made me laugh even more.
- Never would’ve thought you’d be the first one of us to get a proper girlfriend. – Oliver commented and Dylan threw a towel at him. My stomach fluttered and I turned around to watch the coffee drip into the cup.
I was constantly reminded of Dylan’s past. Every girl, every party, every bad decision he ever made... Deep down, I knew he had changed and he wasn’t like that anymore, but I still felt uncomfortable when his friends reminded me of the past.
- You should follow him. He’s doing it right. – Max appeared from his room and walked up to us.
- I made breakfast, I hope its okay. – I admitted shyly and he chuckled.
- Thanks, Grace. – Max said appreciatively and his smile eased my nerves. I never felt comfortable around him but, he was different today... Kinder. It was odd.
I smiled a slight smile and poured the coffee into the mugs that I got from the cupboard. I sipped my coffee and ate my breakfast quietly. When Dylan finished he placed his hand on my thigh, stroking it tenderly. His gesture relaxed me even more.
I was there physically but I wasn’t listening to the conversation they were having. I was wondering about our future actually. What would happen after I went back to school? If I’d stay at my uncle’s or go back to my grandma’s. Where would Dylan stay? If he would come back here or go back to his mom. I realized that I haven’t met his mom yet. I was curious about her... Was she as bad as Dylan and Debby described? She couldn’t be...
- Right, Grace? – Dylan called my name and I shook my head imperceptibly, interrupting my thoughts.
- Hm? Sorry, I wasn’t listening. – I admitted.
- We were talking about Sophie. She was pathetic enough to come here yesterday. – Cameron said looking at me.
- Sophie was here? – I furrowed my brows. When was she here? I didn’t see her. Was she with Madison?
- She thought she was invited but I kicked her out. – Max responded coldly. – You haven’t noticed? – I shook my head. I wasn’t paying attention to the party too much. I was enjoying the conversations I had with Dom and Debby.
- Well, at least Maddie didn’t come. – Oliver laughed and my stomach fluttered again. I felt sick even when I heard her name... What would happen if I saw her at school? I shuddered from the thought.
- I heard she’s gonna be homeschooled. – Max added and calmed me down.
- I don’t hurt girls but... I probably would if she’d piss me off. – Cameron admitted honestly. I saw that Dylan’s mood changed and he clenched his teeth. He was more irritable since the accident. He was having a hard time trying to shield me from the judgements everyone had towards me.
- She’s a bitch. I’m glad she’s not coming back. – Oliver muttered, sipping his coffee. I remained silent but my face probably went pale. I let out a shaky breath and Dylan heard it because he squeezed my hand.
- Let’s stop talking about her. – He didn’t want to say her name out loud again.
- Are you feeling better by the way? – Max asked warily. Dylan’s eyes tried to tell him to cut it out but I felt fine answering his question.
- I am. I was lucky Dom and Dylan were quick. – I never thanked them for acting so quickly on the scene. Dom called the ambulance as soon as he ran towards me. I only knew that because he told me when I was in the hospital.
- I’m glad you’re okay... You’re a lot nicer than the girls Dylan used to hook up with. – Oliver said trying to lighten the mood and he was telling the truth. Dylan kicked his feet under the table and he winced. – What? It’s true. I like her. – He rubbed his ankle where Dylan had kicked him and I chuckled.
- I’m glad I saved your ass too. Life would be less interesting without you. – I joked, thinking about the night I cleaned his wound. It still felt surreal to me.
- That was so dope, though. I was so drugged you looked like Superwoman. – He wasn’t joking which made his comment even more humorous. Everyone started guffawing except him.
thirty-four
The next weeks went by agonizingly slow. Dylan went back to school before I could, and he wasn’t staying at my uncle’s anymore. It felt strange to be alone at first, to not have him by my side 24/7, but I guess that was the best for us. We’ve only started dating recently and everything fell upon us.
When I was alone, I thought through the things that happened since I moved here. Meeting Dylan and falling in love with him happened so fast I didn’t have time to think about my feelings.
He’s been visiting, of course, making sure I was alright and keeping me occupied. I was keen to go back to school and to feel normal again. The checkups made me feel like I was never going to be able to go back to school. In a peculiar way, I felt some sort of relief that the accident happened in April: school was almost over and I didn’t have to start over my junior year. I had time to process what happened, to grieve - though even eternity wouldn’t be enough to grieve my mother -, to transfer schools, and to move to Georgia.
I thought about how ludicrous it was of me to think that this year would be the best year of my life. I remembered cheering with my friends on the beach when the clock turned to twelve and the fireworks went off. This year turned out to be an actual madness. I honestly felt like I was in a bad movie or something.
But I wasn’t gonna think about the past, because today I was going back to school. Getting ready took longer than before. I wanted to look nice and fresh. I died and reborn into this new version of myself. I wasn’t who I used to be before the accident, but I noticed a few similarities.
Just like before, my uncle drove me to school.
- I should really start working and get a car for myself. – I groaned and he shook his head disagreeing. – You can’t keep me away from driving perpetually. – He was still very reluctant about me getting behind the wheels, but I was being a
s safe as I could possibly be. It was not my fault that I drew accidents to myself like a siren luring fishermen into the water. There are not many people who are lucky enough to be saved from death, yet I was saved twice.
- I know I can’t. – He spoke sharply while he drove towards the school. – But I’m not trying to provoke fate. –
- If God would want me dead, I’d be dead. – I never considered myself as a religious person, but after I saw her, I had faith that one day I could be with her again.
- Don’t mention it, Grace. Let’s just get through this year without any more trips to the ER, okay? – He glanced at me for a second to make sure I understood what he was saying and when I nodded he locked his eyes on the road again. Sebastian was never easy to convince.
- I’m going to eat dinner with my friends after school. – I declared.
- Dylan too? –
- Dylan too. – For some odd reason, my uncle trusted Dylan more than he’d ever trusted me. I didn’t know the reason behind it, but I was glad I didn’t have to sneak Dylan in and out of the house.
My response eased his anxiety and he permitted it. I really have to be more careful now so I wouldn’t get hurt again, because he will lock me up if I do.
Again, no smiles exchanged as I got out of his Jeep in the parking lot. Dylan was waiting for me next to his Volkswagen. I cringed at the thought that this moment too, felt like it belonged in a movie.
- Healthy as a horse. – I smiled a slight smile and he chuckled.
- You shouldn’t push fate. – He said with a husky voice but he kept his smile.
- You sound like my uncle. – I rolled my eyes. Maybe this was the reason they became such good friends. Their personalities were the same.
- Oh, don’t say that Gracie. – He teased and I playfully punched him in the arm. He laughed and pulled me closer to himself, pressing his cold lips against mine. It was freezing which made me miss Florida’s humid and warm weather.
We began to walk across the parking lot - towards the entrance of the main building - and people were staring at me like they were staring at a zombie. – They’ll stop. You’re just a new toy to chew on. – Dylan muttered and escorted me inside.
- Great. – My stomach fluttered from anxiety. I tried to shake it off but it felt like I was an outsider.
- Grace. – He called and I turned my face towards him. His eyes looked forward so I looked in the same direction. Dom was standing at his locker smiling brightly.
- Dom! – I cheered and rushed towards him, giving him a tight hug. – It’s been so long since I saw you. –
- Three excruciatingly plain weeks, right Dylan? – He looked next to me and I just noticed that Dylan caught up and was standing beside me.
- Right. – He agreed curtly.
- I feel like a total stranger again. – I chuckled nervously.
- It’ll pass. – Dom and Dylan said at the same time. They shared an obnoxious glare then focused on me again. I should interrogate Dom more about what happened between them. I wanted to know the reason why they were so cold to each other.
- Okay. – I mumbled awkwardly.
- I’ll see you in class. – Dylan placed a delicate kiss on my forehead and glared at Dom again before he walked off.
- What was that? –
- He asked me to watch after you while he’s not with you. – Dom explained. – He’s afraid something would trigger you... –
- Great... – I mumbled and rolled my eyes. I hated feeling like I was a broken toy. I was trying to be as normal as I possibly could but their endless apprehension didn’t help.
- He’s right, though. We are worried. – He added defending Dylan. I glared at him. – I mean, seemingly you’re fine, but we should be cautious just in case. – Maybe they were right. I should be more aware of what’s happening to the people around me. My life affected theirs because they cared about me.
- I’m not going to explode. I won’t be triggered again. – I promised. I truly hoped I could keep that promise for their sake.
- Good. – He smiled softly and we walked to class.
The teachers glared at me the same way the students did. The last time they saw me was when I was unconscious, lying in my own blood. That image still flickered in their minds.
I focused on listening to the actual subject and not the voices in my head that kept reminding me of the staring eyes on my skin. I completely shut everything else out, soaking the knowledge of human anatomy in.
I spent the next few classes the same way, listening carefully and taking notes. It helped a lot. Dylan watched me curiously during our shared classes, but there was nothing to worry about, I was doing just fine. Even when Sophie walked past me, reminding me of her friend who caused this mess in the first place. I smiled at her as she passed me, indicating that I was more than fine. I really felt proud of myself for that.
Debby was probably the most excited to see me. She took it easy on me, showing the stuff that I missed out on. I was really behind on the new choreography, but I could catch up if I tried hard enough.
And finally, the last bell of the day rang.
- Ugh, he’s such an ass. – Debby growled as we walked out of class. The teacher really teased Debby throughout the entire class.
- You handled it well. – I commented.
- You’re talking? You handled it well! I’ve been wondering all day if that smile beaming on your face was legit or not. –
- It is. – I answered shortly giving her a smile.
- You’ve improved. I admire your strength. – Debby and I walked out of school and the boys were already out in the parking lot, smoking. My eyes wandered over Dylan. He was laughing and enjoying himself with his friends. His smile became even brighter when he noticed me walking towards them.
- Hi. – I spoke up as we reached them.
- Let’s go. Grace, Deb, Cam. – Dylan circumvented his car and ducked lower to hop inside. I felt a sense of déjà vu. The same people, the same car only a few months later and with the difference that I was the one sitting front seat now.
Dylan drove towards the diner we’ve been to many times already. We took our seats at the same table, but I sat next to Dylan now. So much has changed since the last time we came here together. Dylan’s hand was resting on my thigh while I took a trip down memory lane.
- I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas. – Debby sighed like she was disappointed.
- Why is that a bad thing? – I raised one brow towards her.
- Because it means that we’ll be graduating soon! Time is passing too fast. – She sighed again.
- I’m glad I’ll be out of this place. – Dylan commented, his voice was low but I could hear the relief in his tone. He really wanted to get away from this town, as soon as possible.
- Have you applied to colleges yet? – Debby asked looking at me and I shook my head.
- I should, though. I’m pretty sure if I don’t start applying I’ll be overdue. – I sighed. I still had no idea what I wanted to study. The government was crazy if they thought an 18-year-old could decide what they’d want to do for the next sixty years of their life. – Have you applied yet? –
- I did. Yale, Harvard, Columbia. I hope they’ll accept me. I don’t want to go South. –
- And you guys? – I asked looking at the boys.
- We applied to UGA. – Max answered.
- Yeah, baby! We’ll live by the campus together. Do you know what that means? – Oliver asked rhetorically. – Parties every weekend with older chicks. – He grinned full of enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes and chuckled.
- Where would you want to go? – Dylan looked at me and rubbed my thigh delicately.
- I’ve considered going back to Florida. FAU maybe. – I shrugged. I haven’t decided if it would be a good thing to go back to Boca alone or not. Of course, Mia would be there so that would be a major plus.
- I’ve looked into that too. – Dylan added. It would be great if we could go to the same un
iversity. I’m not sure I could manage without him.
- Tell us about Florida. I’ve never been there. – Cameron looked at me and I smiled slightly.
- Florida is very humid. I’m not sure anyone should inhale that amount of water. I could probably be a mermaid by now. – I joked and they laughed at my humor.
- How are the beach parties? – Max asked.
- They were fun. My friends would never miss them. We don’t party hardcore but the police were called on us a few times. – I remembered the time Mia and I sneaked out to go to these parties. We were never invited but we were always there. We were so reckless and desperate to be as cool as our friends.
- Were you arrested? – Dylan looked at me curiously.
- No, of course not. I’m a good kid. – I grinned. – My classmates were, though. –
- I can’t imagine you at a party like that. – Dylan shook his head and his lips were curled into a smile.
- How come you were never arrested? I mean you do illegal stuff all the time. –
- We are very careful about that. Football is more important. – Max answered but I had a feeling that Dylan would’ve said the same thing.
I gazed at Dylan’s hand as it caressed my thigh still. Slowly, delicately. My body shuddered and Dylan pulled his hand away, but I grabbed it and placed it back where it was. He smirked without looking at me.
- You should go to a medical school, Grace. – Oliver spoke up so I looked at him and raised one of my brows. – You acted like a real doctor when you saved my ass. –
- I still don’t know how I managed not to throw up. Probably because of the adrenaline. –
- You could be a sexy nurse too. I’m sure men would appreciate that. – He grinned and Dylan glared at him with his teeth clenched together. – I’m kidding! – He spoke to Dylan this time.
- You should really get a girlfriend. – I chuckled and it made the others laugh.
- Do you happen to have a sister? – Oliver asked looking serious.
- Thank God I don’t. – I teased him and said like I was grateful that I didn’t have a sister who he could date. Maybe deep down, I truly was.