by Ivy Kovacs
- You guys hungry? – Seb interrupted us and we nodded. We ended up having dinner together and my uncle drove Daniel home afterward.
thirty-six
Dylan waited patiently while I did my homework. He hadn’t said a word since his brother left and the curiosity was killing me. I shut my laptop’s screen and climbed into my bed where he was lying and scrolling through his phone. He took his eyes off the screen and stared into my eyes.
- Hi. – I muttered with a soft smile on my face.
- Are you done? – He asked and locked his phone, setting it aside when I nodded.
- Are you mad at me? – I sighed and looked down.
- Only because you didn’t tell me. – He gently brushed my cheek with his hand.
- I knew you would’ve talked me down. –
- You’re right. – He fondly drew small shapes on my shoulder with his fingertips. The gesture gave me goosebumps.
- Dylan? –
- Hm? –
- Tell me about your mom. – I looked into his eyes and his body tensed.
- You already know everything. – He muttered.
- Every bad stuff. I wanna know the good. –
- There’s not much I could tell you. – He dropped his hands from my shoulder.
- Did you argue all the time? –
- Most of the time. Especially when I reached adolescence. – I waited for him to continue. – She cared about me. She wanted me to have a good life but she was too eager to sell me her family crap. She pretended like we never lived in Spain. Like I was his son. – His body tensed again. – It got worse after I started hanging out with Max. We argued every single day. I kept telling her to stop hiding the truth but she wouldn’t listen. That’s when she made the ultimatum. – He glanced at me again. – As you could hear my absence didn’t cause her any pain. She lied to everyone about where I’d gone so she wouldn’t ruin her reputation. – His teeth clenched tightly.
I placed my hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer, looking into his eyes. – You won’t lose Daniel again. – I promised, though I wasn’t sure how I’d keep that promise yet. – He knows the truth now. –
- He handled it awfully too well. – He rolled his eyes.
- But he understood. As I could hear from his voice, he wasn’t fond of her either. –
- Nobody is. Except for that damn Stephen. –
- Is he really that bad? – I asked warily.
- He’s a fulsome man when people are around. But behind the doors, he’s the devil himself. –
- What does that mean? – I raised one brow curiously.
- I never told you why I got my tattoos. – He pulled away from me and took his shirt off, leaving his chest bare. Not exactly bare, his velvet skin was covered with black ink in some places.
On his chest there was a wolf, howling up to the moon. The moon connected into the smaller, individual patterns on his left arm. I’ve never really studied them closely. My eyes found the thorny rose Debby picked out. The initials were between a compass and a skull. My fingers traced across a cursive quote that was right above his elbow. Alis volat propriis. – It means ‘he flies by his own wings’. – He looked at the quote. – I got it when I moved away from home. –
- Is it Latin? – My hands lingered on his body, outlining the shapes.
- Mhm. – He nodded once and watched my hands move up and down his arm. When I got to his wrist I felt a bump on his skin. It was covered with ink as well. Maybe it was a scar.
- It’s a scar. – He revealed, answering my inner thoughts. – Whenever I disobeyed and made my mother’s life harder, I received a small reminder. – His teeth clenched together again. He saw that I didn’t quite comprehend so he continued. – He used my skin as his personal ashtray. –
My eyes widened with horror and I sat up straight on the bed.
- Are you alright? – His worried eyes found mine but he was careful and didn’t touch me.
- Am I alright? Are you alright! How could he do this to you? – I shrieked, throwing my hands up in the air in frustration. – You should’ve called the police or the guardianship office? –
- Calm down. – He reached for my hand but I jumped up from the bed.
- He should be rotting in a cell! –
- Grace. It’s alright. Calm down. – He approached me warily.
- No, it’s not alright! –
- Grace? – Uncle Seb knocked on my door. – Is everything alright? – I looked towards the closed door and sighed trying to soothe myself. All I could think about was how Dylan screamed when the smoldering cigarette was pressed on his delicate skin… My knees trembled from the image.
- I’m coming in. – Seb opened the door and studied the situation. I was standing at the edge of my bed, my arms crossed in front of my chest. Dylan stood next to the bed, his body was relaxed, unlike mine. – What’s going on? –
- I told her something from my past and it upset her. Sorry. – Dylan spoke calmly and my uncle looked even more confused. His forehead creased.
- It sounded like there was a lawyer in here. – My uncle joked humorlessly and Dylan chuckled at his mockery. Of course, he would laugh. How was he not as infuriated as I was? – You’d do a hell of a job in court, kid. – He looked at me and I rolled my eyes.
- I wish… - I mumbled and plopped down on my bed, my arms still folded.
- Alright… try not to… kill him. – He commented and closed the door after himself. I frowned.
- Did you calm down? – Dylan looked down at me.
- No. – I muttered.
- It was two years ago. I almost forgot about it. – He tried to convince me but he was doing a bad job at doing so.
- You’re a bad liar. –
- I was ashamed to tell anyone. I still am, but I couldn’t fight back. – He cradled me in his arms. I knew he didn’t mean he couldn’t physically fight back… He couldn’t because he was his step-father.
- You’re such a mystery… - I sighed.
- To you, I’m an open book. – He teased me and I rolled my eyes.
- Is there something else I should know about? –
- Well, this one time I got a girl pregnant… - My eyes widened and I tried to escape his arms but he held me tighter and laughed. – I’m kidding. –
- You’re annoying. – I rolled my eyes and managed to escape his arms.
- My past doesn’t matter, Grace. –
- It does! If yours doesn’t then mine doesn’t either. –
- That’s different. – He mumbled.
- It’s not. You have to be honest with me and tell me everything. Even if it makes you vulnerable… - I added looking down.
- Alright. I’ll be honest with you from now on. – He nodded once. – But please do not be stupid. It’s not worth it. – He knew me too well. It crossed my mind that I would report Steve Stewart to the police, but I knew he would never forgive me. Plus it wouldn’t be a great introduction to my boyfriend’s mother either.
A week later I finally caught up with the schoolwork I missed. I was working extremely hard to catch up in every subject and cheerleading as well.
Debby and I were on our way to the gym, chatting about my family inviting Dylan over for dinner on Thanksgiving when James walked past us, hand in hand with a girl. We both glared at each other confused.
- Was that… - I started speaking.
- Sophie. – Debby said just as shocked as I was.
- How… I mean what brought them together? – I couldn’t find the right words.
- I guess I’ll have to force some sense into that guy. – Debby grumbled.
- Sup ladies? – Max walked inside the gym after us.
- Did you know that James was with Sophie? – I asked still beyond confused.
- You mean that Sophie? – He asked and we nodded at the same time. – That’s messed up. – He shook his head disappointedly.
- You guys look like you’ve seen a ghost. – Dylan jogged up to us.
>
- Almost correct. – I muttered.
- Okay… what happened? – His forehead creased with curiosity.
- James is dating Sophie. – Max responded curtly.
- What the fuck? –
- My stomach flutters from imagining them… - I sighed.
- She’s not bad in bed though. – Oliver appeared and joined the group we formed.
- She’s friends with her. – Debby snapped at him. At school, they were very wary not to use Madison’s name around me. Especially Debby and Dylan but since I’ve become friends with Max, Cameron, and Oliver they’ve been looking out for me too. Whoever was important to Dylan was important to them too. They weren’t such bad friends after all.
- I know, I know. – Oliver replied trying to calm Debby’s fury. I zoned out. I wasn’t listening to their conversation anymore, I just started warming up for gym class with Mr. Holt. He took it easy on me since the accident and I was grateful for that.
Dylan probably saw that I was alone in my bubble of thoughts but he didn’t bother to burst it. He didn’t interrupt me until the end of the lesson when we got dressed in our clothes.
- You seemed lost in your thoughts in there. – He looked at me as we walked down the hall to eat lunch.
- Sorry… - I sighed. – I’m an overthinker. –
- I know. –
We sat down at a table and started eating. I wasn’t really hungry. When I saw James and Sophie the picture of Dylan making out with her flashed in front of me and I lost my appetite.
- Aren’t you hungry? – He asked. I was poking my food with my fork.
- No. – I replied curtly. I didn’t want to admit that I was jealous. Was this jealousy? I was frustrated to know that this girl had made out with my boyfriend before we dated. Yup…Definitely jealous.
- Look, if it’s about Sophie and James… - He began.
- It’s not. – I lied, shaking my head to be more convincing.
- Okay… I’m going out with the boys tonight. Do you wanna come? –
- That’s okay. Go have fun with them. – I declined his offer. He was the only one in his friend’s group who had a girlfriend and I felt like I was annoying them sometimes. Plus, Dylan needed time alone with his friends.
- Okay… We can pick you up if you change your mind. – He proposed and I nodded.
I barely ate two bites of my salad so I packed it into my backpack, thinking I’d eat it at home for dinner. Seb picked me up from school and we went grocery shopping on the way home. Whole Foods was full of goodies and my stomach grumbled at the sight of them. I was starting to get hungry.
After we got home, I showered and sat down to eat dinner. While I was eating the salad I left at lunch, I scrolled through Instagram to keep me accompanied. I saw James post a video on his story just a few minutes ago. He was filming inside a car, music blasting. He pointed the camera towards everyone in the car and when I saw Dylan covering his face with his big hand I smiled. He looked really cute.
In the next clip, I saw a better glimpse of who was in the car. Max was driving, Oliver next to him, Dylan in the back seat. Then I saw blonde curls next to Dylan and James flipped the camera over to show his face and Sophie puckered her lips next to him. She was sitting next to Dylan. My stomach fluttered and I dropped my fork, leaving my salad in half.
No wonder why Dylan hadn’t texted me yet. I took a deep breath and tried not to overthink the circumstances. A few moments later I found myself in front of my aunt who looked worried at me.
- Can I talk to you for a second? – I asked quietly and saw my uncle’s face painted with fear.
- Sure, let’s go to your room. – She suggested and we walked over to my room. – What’s up? –
- You know how I told you Dylan was a ladies’ man? – I asked sitting down on my bed.
- Yeah. –
- Well there was a girl he made out with before we got together. She’s friends with the girl who tried to expose my accident in front of the school. – I paused. – She got together with Dylan’s friend James and now they are together in the same car, sitting next to each other. –
- You’re worried he’d cheat on you? –
- No! I’m more worried she’ll flirt with him like she used to. – I explained. It really sounded stupid now that I said it out loud. – It’s pathetic, I know. – I sighed deeply.
- No, it’s not. You’re jealous and that’s normal. I’m glad you came to me instead of texting Dylan immediately, though. – She added and I chuckled softly. – Look, some girls are just bitches. – I chuckled again at her use of words. – It’s true! They think they can have every man in the world but that’s not true. I know for a fact that Dylan only has eyes for you. –
- I hate these types of girls. – I muttered.
- Oh, believe me, I had my fair share with them. – Rebecca commented with a sassy tone.
- Before Seb? –
- Nope, with Seb. Your uncle was a charming piece of cake. Emphasis on was. – She said. – Girls were all over him, but he was only the second choice, after your dad. – She added.
- My dad was a man-whore? –
- Well, kind of. – She chuckled. – He was more charming and younger than Seb. Girls wanted him more, I guess. –
- Dylan’s different though. He doesn’t care about other girls anymore. My dad did. Obviously… - I rolled my eyes.
- Exactly. That’s why you shouldn’t worry. I’m sure he’ll text you as soon as he can. – In that exact moment, my phone buzzed, notifying me that my boyfriend texted me. – Told you so. – She grinned.
- Thanks, Bex. – I smiled at her and she left the room.
This sucks. James brought Sophie and she’s whining nonstop.
I sighed in relief then typed in my reply. I’m cold. Wish somebody could warm me up.
Omw. He replied immediately.
I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you. I typed in a red heart and sent the message.
Night. Love you. He replied curtly like he always did.
I woke up to the rain knocking on my window. I hated rainy weather. I got ready, wearing a hoodie and jeans with my boots so I wouldn’t get soaked. Thank God the Jeep was inside the garage. I didn’t get a single droplet of rain on me until I got out at school. I rushed inside and pulled the hood off my head once I was inside.
- Didn’t it rain in Florida? – Max appeared next to me and my body shuddered a little.
- It did. More than here. – I responded.
- Well, it ain’t no Miami here. – He teased and I rolled my eyes. I was used to the rain because Florida was either very rainy or very sunny, there were barely in-betweens.
- Are you going home for the holidays? – I asked, desperately trying to change the subject.
- Yeah, I’ll be at my parents’ cabin in Palm Springs. –
- Your parents live in California? – I raised an eyebrow curiously.
- Yup. – He bowed once.
- Don’t you miss them? –
- Nope, they visit sometimes or I go to them. – He shrugged. – I like living on the other side of the country. – He grinned and I stopped questioning him. He was spoiled by his parents and enjoyed it. He wouldn’t have survived a day if he had to live the way we did with my mom. At least he could try to show more appreciation towards his parents.
- Earth to Grace. – Dom’s voice echoed and I shook my head, blinking quickly as I adjusted to the situation. I was sitting next to Dom in class but I didn’t remember walking in or taking a seat. Huh. This zoning-out thing was getting really annoying.
- Sorry. – I mumbled and focused on him.
- What were you thinking about? –
- Just life I guess. – I shrugged. – Is Jules coming back for the holidays? – It seemed to be the only question I could ask today.
- She is! I’m so excited, I haven’t seen her since the bonfire party. –
- Wow… that was so long ago. – It felt like it was a year ago. Time with Dylan flew by
unobservedly.
- I know right? – He sighed. The teacher walked in so we stopped talking for the rest of the class.
- Are you going to be with Dylan? – He asked once we walked out of class.
- My family invited him over since… you know. – I muttered.
- Since he doesn’t visit his mother anymore. – He nodded.
- Do you know her well? – I asked, holding my books in my hands and watching him while he packed his books into his locker.
- Only a little. She’s nice though. Her husband is a very hard-working guy. – My knees trembled when he mentioned Steve. I couldn’t erase the image of Dylan’s scarred skin. It haunted me.
Would've my father been the same if he stayed with my mom? Maybe I would’ve lived a much worse life than the one I imagined when I was little. Us in the same small house: my mom happily planting flowers in the garden, my dad fixing my broken bike after I fell off it. They both cared about me. The older I got, the more these images faded in my head. I could barely recall these visions or think about them as a happy memory that never happened.
- Hey. – Dylan’s low voice greeted us and he smiled a crooked smile at me.
- Hi. – I smiled.
- I’ll see you in class. – Dom cleared his throat and I nodded watching him walk away in the hall.
Before I could say anything Dylan pressed his lips against mine and for a second I felt like I was floating on a cloud. The chattering noise of the school’s busy hall faded and it was only me and him. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long because as soon as his lips parted from mine the chattering noise irritated my ears again. I sighed.
- What’s wrong? – He asked, a small v appeared between his brows.
- I just wish it would be only us now. – I shifted my weight to my feet. I was used to having to stand on my toes whenever we kissed like this. He was a head taller than me.
His playful smirk appeared on his face and I shook my head. – Not like that. – I added.
- I’ll take any chance I get. – He shrugged and interlaced our fingers as we started walking towards History class.
- Good morning class. Professor Walkins got sick so I’m standing in for him. – My Math teacher walked in and Dylan’s grip on my hand tightened.