by Ivy Kovacs
- I think this is it. – I declared with a soft smile.
- You need heels for this, honey. You can’t wear a dress like this and pair it with Converse chucks. – She said disapprovingly.
- I will literally break my ankles. – I got dressed in my clothes.
- I’ll teach you. We have a week left until graduation. –
- I don’t know... – I said unsurely.
- Trust me. – She looked into my eyes and squeezed my hand.
- Fine... – I mumbled and she cheered happily, making a squeaky sound.
I paid for the dress and we went back to the store where she’d bought her shoes. I found one that I liked though I was certain I would obtain severe injuries by wearing them.
- Are you tired? – Dylan asked through the phone. I was changing into my PJs and had him on speaker.
- I feel exhausted. Debby was debating between four pairs of heels. Then we narrowed them down to two, then she found another one she liked so it was three again. –
- Sounds fun. – He chuckled.
- It was. We chatted and I found my dress for graduation. – I started washing my makeup off.
- I can’t wait to see you in it, babe. –
- I actually grew fond of you calling me babe. – I admitted and grinned, even though he couldn’t see me.
- I miss you. – He sighed.
- We saw each other today. – I chuckled quietly. – You’ll see me tomorrow. –
- I know. I should head to sleep. –
- Me too. I love you. – I said as I lay down and tucked myself under the covers.
- I love you too. Sleep tight. – He said before he hung up. Though we frequently met each other, we still talked on the phone when we were alone. This was about to change if he’d move to Florida with me. Living together would not be a difficult thing for us since we’d basically lived together for a month or so when I had my accident. I was more concerned about him missing his friends too much. But they would be close by... it was only one state away.
forty
Dom and I helped Jessica hand out the yearbooks she’d made since she was the editing chief of the school’s newspaper. It felt strange to flip through the book when I was only here for a year. Debby included a bunch of pictures of me, though. The cheerleaders got a separate page and so did the football players. I couldn’t help but chuckle when I saw Dylan on the old pictures. He was very attractive but he looked so young compared to now.
The last weeks of school were always my favorite, even back in Boca. It was the time when teachers let us do what we wanted, thus we watched movies and chatted in groups. It was a memorable thing to experience.
After I finished helping Jess, I walked outside of school and searched for my phone in my backpack. The Sun was beaming vibrantly, making my skin tingle as it soaked up the vitamin D.
- Grace. – Someone called from behind and I automatically turned towards the sound. It was my Math teacher, hurrying down the stairs like he was trying to catch me. He cleared his throat as he approached me. – Miss Smith. I wanted to talk to you. – He looked into my eyes and his face was very still, not giving away any signs.
- Sure. What can I help you with, Sir? – I asked politely. I didn't forget how much of an ass he was when he gave me a D, but he’s been normal ever since so I brushed it off.
- I was about to.... – He started.
- Grace! I thought you were helping Jessica. – Dylan walked toward us from the field. – Mr. Smith. – He bowed once as he reached us.
- I was about to text you when Mr. Smith stopped me. – I admitted.
- I wanted to talk to Miss Smith. Privately. – He added looking at Dylan only.
- Oh, we don’t keep things from each other. – Dylan said and had his hands hooked into the straps of his backpack.
- You could wait for me in the car though. I’m sure it won’t take long. – I added softly and looked at my teacher to see if I was right about the latter part.
- Nah, I’m good. –
- What is your problem? – Mr. Smith snarled at Dylan. My stomach fluttered from the way he approached him.
- Nothing. – He shrugged. – I just don’t want to leave my girlfriend alone. You remember her accident, don’t you, Sir? – His voice tone made my knees tremble. Why would he bring this up in front of my teacher?
- I certainly do. – He nodded once. – Though if I were the principal, I would’ve expelled you for such behavior. – He spoke directly to Dylan, not breaking his continuous glare. – How come such a tough boy couldn’t protect a young girl? -
Dylan grabbed Mr. Smith’s collar and pushed him against the car that was behind us. His body made a deep thudding sound as it crashed against the car door. He punched Dylan in the face but Dylan didn’t retreat. He slammed him against the car even harder and the car’s alarm system started beeping loudly. I was shrieking Dylan’s name repeatedly but it was like I was yelling at a blank wall.
- Hey! – Mr. Walker rushed towards us and yanked Dylan off Mr. Smith. – What the hell is happening? – He growled looking at the two bleeding men. Dylan wiped his injured lip with the back of his hand and scoffed.
None of them answered. Mr. Walker looked at me for answers but I was feeling numb. I couldn’t quite grasp what just went down in front of my eyes. – Alright, go to my office. Now! – He looked at me and Dylan. Dylan grabbed my hand and towed me inside the empty school building.
- Are you okay? – He stopped as soon as we reached the principal’s office. His bruised hands caressed my cheeks gently. It was an absurd thing, how these hands were capable of such delicacy and sweetness when they were used for brutality in some cases. My body automatically shuddered from his touch. – I’m sorry, I promise I’ll explain everything. – His hands shook from the adrenalin as he lowered them, away from my cheeks. I was incredibly confused and could not comprehend anything.
Mr. Walker and Mr. Smith followed us in a few minutes but I didn’t dare to walk out to the hall and meet them. I kept my stare down and fidgeted with the bracelet I got from Dylan for Christmas. He sat next to me and his fingers were constantly tapping on the arm of the chair. He was anxious, or angry... Or both.
- What the fuck were you thinking?! – I heard another furious male voice outside of the office. Dylan jumped up from his chair and rushed outside. – Do you want to break her even more? -
I heard a loud thud against the lockers and ran outside too. My jaw fell when I saw my uncle gripping Mr. Smith by his shirt’s collar and shoving him against the lockers in the hallway.
- Sebastian! – I yelled and my eyes were filled with tears that I wouldn’t let escape.
Sebastian and Mr. Smith looked at me, their dark brown eyes matched perfectly. I studied their enraged faces and my mind started wondering. Sebastian looked dauntingly similar to my Math teacher. Mr. Smith... My knees trembled as soon as hit me.
- Dad? – My voice was shaking as I managed to speak out loud. Mr. Smith’s facial expression softened by the name I just called him. Seb released his grip, letting him stumble to find his balance again.
- Grace, I can explain. – Sebastian looked at me, his face painted with horror.
I felt the warm teardrops roll down on my frozen cheeks. The weather was fairly warm outside but it felt like the blood in my veins had frozen completely. My body felt paralyzed... not really my body, my brain rather. I couldn’t say anything. I couldn’t form the right words. I forced my legs to move and ran outside of school. I heard my name but it was faded since my thoughts took over my brain. There was a beeping sound that snapped me out of my shock. It was Debby sitting in her car, her eyes widened at the sight of me.
I quickly got inside her car. – What happened?! – She asked.
- Take me away from here. Please. – I begged quietly and breathed heavily.
She stepped on the accelerator and drove away. I glanced into the rear-view mirror but couldn’t see my uncle, Dylan, or Mr.... my father.
- Where should I go? – She asked after a few seconds.
- To your place. If I can go there. – I said warily. She made a U-turn and drove towards her house. I knew because drove her home with Dylan before. Dylan... Did he know about this? He clearly did otherwise he wouldn’t have acted the way he did. His voice hauntingly rang in my ears.
Debby parked her car in front of her house and helped me inside. – My parents aren’t home yet. – She mentioned and led me to the kitchen. – Do you want anything? –
I shook my head politely and sat down on a barstool. – I found my dad. – I spoke up after a minute of silent debating. Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened.
- What? Where is he? Did you see him? –
- He was...is our Math teacher. – I corrected myself mid-sentence.
- What?! – Her voice got higher.
- Dylan and my uncle knew... – I added, admitting the most painful part of it. I knew I told them that I wanted nothing to do with my father, but this was different. They should’ve told me and warned me about him! Was this the reason why Dylan became such good friends with Sebastian?
My phone buzzed on the counter so I turned it off without looking at who was calling.
- Are you okay, Grace? – Debby asked carefully and placed a cup of hot tea in front of me. – It’s chamomile. – She added.
- I’m confused... and angry and disappointed. –
- I understand. – She sighed and sat down across me, holding my hands on the white marble countertop.
- How could they lie to me about this? They knew I was in his class! – I felt the wrath take over my body.
- I’m sure it was just for your own good. They didn’t know how you’d react if you found out. - She defended them and deep down I knew she was right. They were all about protecting me from the outside world, but they should’ve known I would find out sooner or later.
- It still doesn’t change the fact they lied. – I mumbled and slowly slipped my tea. Debby’s phone rang and she looked at the screen. She touched it and held her phone against her ear, holding her pointing finger up warningly towards me.
- What’s up, Dyl? – She said casually and my stomach fluttered again. – What? No... I didn’t see her. – She acted worried and looked into my eyes. – Okay... let me know if you know anything. – She said and hung up.
- Thanks. – I muttered.
- He’s really worried about you, Grace. – She said, her eyes showed the pain she heard in Dylan’s voice through the phone.
- Can I call Dom from your phone? – I asked. – I’m sure he called him first and I want to tell him that I’m fine. – I continued and she nodded handing me her iPhone. I typed in his number and dialed it.
- Dom? It’s me, Grace. –
- Grace? Where are you? Dylan told me what happened. I can go pick you up. – His voice sounded worried too.
- I’m okay. I’m with Debby. – I stated. – I think I’ll ask her if I could stay here for the night... I don’t want to go home. – I saw Debby nod approvingly.
- Are you okay? –
- I feel deceived and frustrated, but other than that I’m fine. I won’t get triggered, don’t worry. We’re over that phase. –
- Okay... call me if you need anything, alright? –
- I will, thank you. And please don’t tell anyone that I’m here. – I begged him through the phone.
- I won’t, I promise. Stay safe. – He said and hung up.
- Thanks. – I sighed and handed her phone back.
We sat in the living room for hours before her parents arrived.
- Deborah? – A friendly female voice called.
- I’m here, mom. – She responded and walked into the hall. – Can my best friend stay over tonight? We agreed to have a sleepover. – She lied graciously.
- Of course. I was about to tell you that your uncle is here to visit. They are coming up in a second. – She said and I walked after her.
- Hi, Mrs. Warren. – I smiled politely. It was truly absurd how well I could fake a smile and pretend like my life wasn’t falling into pieces – I’m Grace Smith. –
- Ah, Grace! I’ve heard a lot about you. – Her mother looked younger than she actually was. They looked more like siblings, rather than mother and daughter.
- Thank you for letting me stay. – I thanked gratefully.
- Oh, don’t thank me, dear. We can order pizza later. –
- Auntie, where should I put these? – Cameron walked inside, carrying large bags. His eyes widened as he spotted me. My anxiety kicked in. He’ll definitely tell Dylan that he saw me here.
- Hi Cam. – I said with a slight smile.
- Grace. Hey. – He responded confusedly and searched for answers in his cousin's eyes.
Great... now I either had to tell him about what happened or find a new place to stay at. Things couldn’t get more complicated.
forty-one
- What’s up? – Cameron asked walking outside the garden where we were sitting on a bench. Debby and I have been discussing what I should do and I decided it would be best if I told him at least part of the truth. I assumed he wouldn’t be a jerk and tell Dylan right away, but I didn’t have high hopes.
- You can’t tell Dylan that I’m here... Please. – I added kindly and my voice was full of desperation.
- Trouble in paradise? – He chuckled and sat down across us.
- Kind of. – I admitted curtly. – But you must not tell him that you saw me here. –
- Alright. – He said unsurely.
- Seriously, Cam! – Deb raised her voice and looked at her cousin.
- Okay, okay! Jeez. – He rolled his eyes. – Now I know why I’m still single. –
We chuckled with Debby and spent the rest of the afternoon chatting outside. Cameron left shortly after I asked him, but at least they helped me clear my head and think about other things.
I couldn’t sleep that night. Every memory returned that I’ve had about my dad. The anonymous person who I couldn’t have recognized in the morning, but now saw everywhere. The way his face was shaped, his eyes that matched mine and my uncle’s. They almost looked like identical twins. How could I not see what was right in front of me? It was so obvious!
I never thought much into his last name matching mine because there are thousands of other people with that name who aren’t related to me. Now I wished I would’ve let my grandma show me those old pictures of him... I should’ve been prepared in case something like this happened. But who would’ve thought he’d care about me?
Everything I knew changed within an hour. I searched for his face in my blurry memories from Florida but I couldn’t see him in them. Was he teaching here always or did he start working here after he found out I was transferring? Did he search for me? How long had Dylan and my uncle known? It all seemed so intricate.
The next day I went back to my grandma’s place, knowing she’d understand my perspective. We had a long conversation about the past and the future. She hadn’t seen my dad directly, she just knew he was my teacher because Sebastian told her. I found him a terrible person for what he did in the past and for not coming forward and at least seeing his mother. I knew how much nana suffered from her younger son’s actions and every time she saw me, she was constantly reminded of him.
I showered and changed in the afternoon, refreshing myself. Grandma told Sebastian that I was with her and that I was alright, but she asked him not to come here. I specifically told her to tell him that. I was mad at them for lying to me for months. She argued with nana but he agreed not to come over.
I lay on my bed for hours, staring at the blank white ceiling and wondering what to do. How was I supposed to get over this when I had so many unanswered questions? I couldn’t ask them from nana or Sebastian... they wouldn’t be able to answer them. The only person who could was my dad.
I acted without thinking, and was on the road in a few minutes, driving my grandma’s car. I parked at the address I stole from my gr
andma’s small notebook. She kept everything in there so it was hard to find.
I dragged my feet towards the door and forced my hands to knock on it. It was stupid of me to come here, especially so late, but I had to know the truth. I needed answers only he could provide.
He opened the door and his eyes widened at the sight of me. – Grace! –
- I want to talk. – I said straight to the point.
- Come in. – He stepped away from the doorway and let me inside the small house. It looked quite chic, not as I imagined. The walls in the living room were dark blue which made the grey couch seem very vibrant.
- What did you want to talk about? – He asked and placed a glass in front of me, filling it with straight bourbon and filled one for himself too. My eyes narrowed but I didn’t comment on it.
- You, obviously. – I responded coldly.
- Ask away. – He sat down across me and took a sip of his glass.
- You’re my biological father, right? – I asked just to make sure.
- Right. – He nodded once. He seemed so casual about this... Like nothing was wrong when everything was messed up.
- How long have you been stalking me? –
- I wasn’t stalking you... I was silently observing. Getting to know you, if you were who I thought you were. –
- What made you realize it was me? – I asked again and studied his face precisely.
- You look like me... you always did. Your mother would tell you the opposite though. – He chugged his glass and refilled it. My stomach trembled at the mention of mom.
- Do you know... – I couldn’t say it out loud. Everything I’d built up in half a year seemed shattered.
- I do. – He nodded once, his face showing a tiny emotion but it was barely noticeable. – I’m sorry. – He added, clearing his throat.
- Why didn’t you call? – I felt my eyes burn with tears and my voice was shaky as I questioned.
- You were better off without me. – He looked at his glass, with a pained grimace on his face.
- Nobody is better off without their father. – I added in a low voice.