by Ivy Kovacs
- We’ll catch you before you break your neck, don’t worry. – Max grinned and I chuckled. I couldn’t not look at Dylan. His impression was stiff and terrified. I felt some strange warmth in my chest since I was so close to him. Closer than I’ve been in a week.
- You look amazing, Grace. – Debby said with a wide grin. – Right, Dyl? – She poked Dylan’s side with her elbow.
- You are beautiful. – Dylan said in a low voice. – Like always. – He added and looked at my dress. My knees trembled as I thought about how those arms used to fold around me like Nathan’s folded around Debby.
- Thank you. – I gave him a slight and unsure smile.
- Those shoes look painful. – Max commented, pointing at my and Debby’s shoes.
- They are. – I admitted.
- Beauty is pain. – Debby said narrowing her eyes.
- It makes your legs appear nice, though. – He added.
- Alright, enough talking about how good the girls look. – Cameron complained.
- You really outdid yourselves too, guys. I haven’t seen you dolled up like this before. – I giggled.
- Well, tuxedos tend to attract the ladies better. – Oliver smirked and straightened his suit.
- Let him believe that. – Debby whispered and I laughed.
- Girls just keep roasting your ass, man. – Dylan patted Oliver’s back and he grimaced.
- Alright, Seniors. Please take your seats, the ceremony is about to start in 5 minutes! – Mr. Walker spoke into the microphone and repeated himself again.
I turned around and started walking towards the chairs that were placed across the podium.
- Grace! – Dylan rushed after me and grabbed my arm lightly. I stopped and turned around to look at him. Our eyes met and it felt like my body exploded from ecstasy. – I’m so sorry for keeping this from you. –
- Where were you? – I asked warily, trying to hide my emotions. I shouldn’t forgive them so easily even if they were under my father’s spell.
- I was... away. – He muttered and looked away from my eyes. He came up to me to apologize and he still wasn’t telling me the truth.
I nodded pressing my lips together and turned away to take my seat.
- Please. It’s killing me to see you and not be able to be near you. I love you, Grace. – He kept his grip on my arm, not letting me walk away from him.
- I’m pretty sure we shouldn’t discuss this here. – I said coldly. It hurt me to speak to him this way, but I was frustrated again. My heart kept telling me to jump into his arms and forget every messed up thing that happened to us, but my brain refused.
He released his grip and nodded once. Debby called my name so I turned around and sat down next to them. Max and the guys were sitting a bit further away from us so Dylan sat next to them. I looked around to find my family on the bleachers and when I did, I smiled at them. I wasn’t mad at my grandma or Rebecca. Honestly, I wasn’t mad at anyone, I just felt betrayed by the two most important men in my life. That didn't mean I didn't love them.
The principal tapped on the microphone as he stood at the podium and began his speech. His was short and simple. Debby’s speech was friendly and funny as she said goodbye to us. Her speech made me emotional, I had to blink away a few tears that filled my eyes.
The principal called our names one by one in alphabetical order to hand out our diplomas. I walked out to the podium, taking my diploma, and shook hands with Mr. Walker before I walked back to my seat. I saw a quick glimpse of my family clapping proudly when I was next to Mr. Walker.
Our principal congratulated us once again and closed the ceremony. As soon as he did we took our hats off and tossed them up in the air.
- We did it! – I heard Oliver cheer next to us.
- We did. – Max agreed, chuckling.
- Congrats guys. I’ll really miss you. – I said looking at the people who were so distant from me when I came here yet now were so close.
- Awe, G. – Oliver moaned and pulled me into his arms to hug me. – You can always come back. You know where the fun parties will be at. – He winked as he released me.
- Or you could come to Boca. I could take you to those beach parties. – I said looking at Max and him.
- Dude, we should! – Oliver said with much enthusiasm. I giggled then my eyes spotted my family in the background.
- Excuse me. – I said and walked past them towards my family. I was really getting better at this walking-in-heels thing. – Well... – I said as I approached them.
- Congratulations, sweetheart. I can’t believe you’re already going to university. – Nana hugged me tightly and sniffled.
- I still have a month ‘til I leave, nana. – I commented before she would start sobbing.
- Congrats. – Sebastian said but didn’t hug me. He kept his distance which was my request.
- We should go, the food will get cold. – Rebecca mentioned and I nodded. I waved towards my friends then saw Dom with Jules near the podium.
- I’ll be in the car in three minutes. – I said and walked towards Dom. His face lit up when he saw me which made me smile.
- Look at you! –
- You look great, Dom. – I chuckled softly.
- Call me whenever you’re in town, okay? – He hugged me tightly.
- You too. And facetime me whenever you can. – I added wrapping my arms around him. – I’ll really miss you. –
- Our friendship won’t end here. – He smiled pulling away. Jules stood with his family a few steps away from us so I waved at her with a soft smile. She waved back at me.
- Bye Dom. – I sighed.
- No, no it’s not a goodbye. It’s a see you later. – He corrected and I could see that he was sad we would be so far from each other.
- Noted. – I chuckled with tears in my eyes.
- I love you. – He said in a friendly tone.
- I love you too. Thanks for being my best friend. – I said and squeezed his hand before releasing it and walking away.
Saying goodbye was a hard thing to do, but the conversation I was about to have with my uncle would be a lot harder...
forty-four
After a very silent dinner, my uncle called me into his office as I expected. I sat down, fidgeting with my bracelet that I kept wearing even though I had no idea what was going on between me and Dylan.
- I wanted to tell you the whole story... – He started. – When you were brought into the hospital after your first accident, and you were fighting for your life I called your father in case you wouldn’t make it... – He winced from the thought. – When you were stabilized I told him that you were going to live with us in Atlanta until you would go to college. He found a job in the school you were transferring to but no one knew that. He searched for you, fearing that you could die any time and he wouldn’t be able to see who you’ve grown into. – He added and poured himself a glass of bourbon. I shuddered from the familiarity of this movement. - When you got together with Dylan I told him to keep his eyes on you at school in case your father would startle you with the truth. Turns out he was only observing as your teacher, to get to know you better. –
- When your second accident happened, he accused me of not taking good care of you. He wanted to see you immediately but I stopped him before he could barge into your room. – I remembered hearing loud thuds and yells from the hall when I was getting ready to leave the hospital. Was it them fighting?
- He promised not to talk to you without my supervision, but I was sure he’d try anyway. I knew you didn’t want to know it was him and it seemed like he didn’t want to talk to you... until last week. I’m so sorry I let him fool us all. He kept his distance from you for months and I thought he would continue keeping it, but I was wrong. I should’ve told you so you could be prepared. – He looked down at his crystal glass but he hadn’t taken a single sip from his whiskey yet. Every cloudy part of my mind cleared out as I understood the motives better. It was all my father’s doi
ng which made me despise him even more.
- I talked to him... – I admitted even though he’d already known from nana. – He still drinks... and he’s still aggressive. I was scared of him for a second. –
- You shouldn’t have gone there alone. He wouldn’t hurt you but alcohol drives him mad... –
- I’m sorry. –
- I’m glad you’re okay. – He held my hand and looked into my eyes.
- I understand why you did what you did, but it doesn’t mean I feel less betrayed. – I said and felt his hand twitch in mine.
- It was one of my greatest mistakes to trust David again. –
- Again? –
- I have this bad habit of trusting my brother blindly even if I know he’ll mess up. – He admitted with a painful expression on his face that made his forehead wrinkle.
- I forgive you, Uncle Seb. – I sighed. – You’ve treated me like your own daughter and I know you wanted the best for me. –
- Thank you. I promise I won’t trust your father again. It seems like he doesn’t want to do the right thing now either. –
- Did he try to find me before? – I asked curiously.
- A few times when you lived in Florida... he didn’t know you lived there though, and he only came to me for information. – He responded. – Your mother was very smart to keep you hidden from him. That’s why she moved to Boca Raton with you. –
- Not because she didn’t have money to move closer? – I asked furrowing my brows.
- She could’ve moved a lot closer but she knew David could find you easily if he wanted to. He didn’t search for you for years and it was right of your mother to move far from here. –
- Is he that bad? – I asked afraid to hear the truth from his mouth. I already thought about my dad as a horrible person but hearing the opinion of those who once loved him dearly made the painful hole in my chest hurt even more.
- He makes bad decisions. A lot of them. – He replied and released my hand, picking up the glass he filled before and took a small sip.
- Why couldn’t you be my dad? – I took a deep breath and asked the question more to myself than to him. When I was a child, I used to talk to my friends about Sebastian, mentioning him as my dad. It was a silly thing I did that no one found out about.
Deep down, I was always mad at my mom for choosing the wrong Smith brother. Now that I was almost nineteen, I knew why my mom fell for my dad in the first place. She was attracted by his devilish charm, and like mother like daughter, I fell for Dylan the same way Anne did for David. Only Dylan wasn’t nearly as bad as David.
- I tried to fill in his spot. –
- It was a rhetorical question. But I really do wish you were my actual dad. – I sighed.
- I won’t let him ruin my niece’s life. – He promised, looking into my eyes again.
- You know, you look dauntingly similar. –
He chuckled and placed his glass on the table. – I am more handsome. – He joked.
- Sure, you are. – I chuckled softly and shook my head.
- Did you and Dylan break up? – His question made my stomach tighten. - We talked a few times. -
- I don’t know... – I responded the same way I did to everyone asking this question. - You did? – I asked raising an eyebrow curiously.
- Yeah, he misses you but he knew you needed time. –
- I should talk to him... – I said and looked down.
- Are you moving back until you go to Florida? – He asked, his eyes filled with hope.
- I think. – I nodded slightly.
- Alright, let me know when you’re ready and I’ll help. – He said and took another sip of his whiskey.
I went home with grandma and lay restless on my bed for hours before I could force my mind to shut down. The nightmare came again, but this time it was only mom and dad fighting in our old kitchen.
My dad smirked at me right before I woke up, gasping for air. Grandma was there, calming me down.
These nights happened regularly again and thanks to the lack of sleep, I felt extremely exhausted. I moved back to my godparents’ house a few days later but the nightmares continued. For a few nights Sebastian woke me up from the nightmares, but then he stopped, hoping they would end once I got through that phase.
- I’m not sure you should move to Florida alone. – Uncle Seb came up to me one day after I finished at work. He found me a car and we were going to purchase it that weekend.
- Why? I’m fine. – I said getting out of the car.
- You are when you’re awake. You haven’t slept in weeks, Grace. – He followed me as we walked inside the house.
- They are just nightmares. They’ll pass. – I shrugged.
- They’ve been happening every night for weeks. –
- I’m sorry. I’ll take melatonin before sleep or something. – I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.
- I’m not saying this because I’m annoyed that I can’t sleep. I’m genuinely worried about you. You haven’t been like this since the summer. –
- I’m fine, Seb. I promise. – I looked into his eyes to be more convincing.
- I don’t know... – He mumbled.
- I will be fine in Florida too. Maybe I need that change for the nightmares to stop. –
- Alright... just don’t hesitate to see a therapist if you need to. I have friends who... –
- Sebastian. – I stopped him. – I promise I will be more than fine. I’ll be busy working, maintaining my house, and studying anyway. –
- Okay, okay. I’ll stop. – He raised his hands and I nodded with a smile.
Sebastian and I picked up my Jeep Compass that his friend was selling for a good price. I loved everything about it. It was high technology, even though it was a 2016 model. I completely fell in love with the dark-silver car that was now mine. Seb taught me everything I needed to know about Jeeps and I used it to drive around in the city before the big moving day. I was going to stay at an Airbnb for a night in Jacksonville before I’d drive down south to Boca Raton the next day.
Everything was ready for my move: I was going to drive the most important things with myself and my family would bring the rest when they’d visit.
forty-five Dylan
I spent the last week in agonizing loneliness that made it impossible for me to be near anyone. If nine months ago someone would've told me I could love someone so dearly, I would've laughed in their face. Love really is the most powerful feeling in the world.
When she left, she took a piece of me with her. I drove by the city, searching for her on the streets, at the diner, even at Dominic's place. When I couldn't find her anywhere, I knew I lost her.
The first time we went to her uncle's house, Sebastian pulled me into his office and told me everything about Grace's father, and how he was a teacher at our school. I promised to keep him away from her because even when we weren't together I still felt an oddly powerful connection to her. I asked Sebastian if it was okay not to tell her the truth and he always convinced me that we were doing the right thing. But we were only trying to do what seemed right for us. None of us wanted to lose her. She danced into my life with such delicacy and darkened beauty, and she completely swept me off my feet.
The first night, I drove to the lake we've been to when I asked her to be my girlfriend. I slept in my car to clear my head and realize what I'd done. If it were me in her shoes, I would've been furious. She had every right to be mad at us.
The next day I drove by Sebastian's office. The large building seemed like a damn labyrinth even with the escort of his assistant.
- Hey. – I said walking into his office. It was so bright from all the windows.
- Dylan! Have you heard from her? – He jumped up from his seat. He was just as worried as I was. What if something triggered her again? If she was alone she could really hurt herself unintentionally.
- No. – I shook my head. I didn't bother to ask the same question because it seemed like he was rely
ing on me to deliver the good news.
- Damn it. – He sat back down into his spinning leather chair and sighed deeply.
- It's over, right? – I asked, afraid to hear the answer.
- Your relationship? No. I'll do everything I can to fix this. She just needs to hear the truth. – His voice sounded frustrated.
- What happened to him, anyway? –
- He got fired for hitting a student. – He gave me the answer I wanted to hear. Grace's excuse-of-a-father was worse than I was. He was so arrogant and aggressive... Even worse than my mother and that is a big scale to hit.
I didn't think about the conversation I had with the asshole principal later when I got back to school. He told me he wouldn't expel me only because it was a week left until graduation. I was technically allowed to go to school for the few remaining days, but he suggested that it would be a good idea to stay away and only attend the graduation. He understood Grace's situation after Sebastian sat down with him one afternoon and explained it to him.
I really wished I would've knocked him out that afternoon. I guess he was just as furious as I was because his right hook hit hard. I could still feel my jaw hurt whenever I opened my mouth.
I sent text messages to Grace every day until Sunday. She hadn't opened any of them and I didn't want to frustrate her even more. I was sure she had enough on her plate without my whining.
When I saw her walk up to us at our graduation, I felt like someone had just punched me in the guts. She looked ravishingly beautiful in that blue dress and the heels... I had to hold back my anger when Oliver and Max commented on her beauty. I was so protective of her even if she wasn't mine.
She told me she would talk to me about what happened but she hadn't called or texted me since she said that. I wasn't being pushy, I just suffered from the absence of her silently.
I spent my last day in the city with my brother, saying goodbye to him. He was continuously lying to our mother about his whereabouts whenever he saw me. It should've made me feel guilty, but it didn't. He had the right to know the truth and I know he missed me just as much as I missed him.