by Elaine Fox
Penelope smiled and shook her head, looking at her drink again. Lily’s heart soared. She was embarrassed, Lily thought, because she’d taken her ex-husband back, because she’d said so many bad things about him over the years, because she’d vowed to have finally seen through him, and now she was going back to him.
Hey, everyone has a soft spot for a past lover or two, Lily thought. She, Lily, would be compassionate. She’d understand how these things went. She wouldn’t condemn her friend for going back to the man who had hurt her so badly in the past.
“I told him to forget it,” Pen said.
Lily’s heart dropped.
“I said that just because his life hadn’t panned out the way he’d set it up didn’t mean that I was going to repeat the biggest mistake of my life.” She laughed a little ruefully. “I’m afraid I was pretty ruthless about it.”
“Attagirl!” Megan said. Then, with a look at Lily’s surprised face, added, “Well, you weren’t doing Georgia’s part anymore.”
“But honestly, I felt bad about it afterward,” Penelope said. “There’s some part of me that still feels, I don’t know, loyal, I guess. Does that sound crazy?”
“Not at all,” Lily said. “Love is complicated. Messy. Nothing’s ever clear-cut about it, even when you think it is. Or maybe especially when you think it is.”
“That’s for sure,” Megan agreed. “Speaking of complications, did Gerald take off all right today? He did leave today, right?”
Lily nodded. “He called from the airport. He and Doris, the paralegal who was going with him, actually got an earlier flight than originally planned, so he called at six this morning to say good-bye. Again. He called last night, too.”
“That’s nice,” Penelope said. “You see, he really does care. I can’t wait to hear how much he misses you. I bet he flies home with a ring before the project’s even finished.”
Lily looked at Penelope in horror. “Do you think so?”
Megan laughed. “Wow, what’s that look about? Is something up with you two? Don’t tell me there’s trouble in paradise.”
Lily shook her head. Should she tell them about her change of heart? She wanted to, she was just so embarrassed. After going on and on about this guy for two years…
Once again she saw Brady’s face above hers…had he looked so intensely into her eyes, or was she changing the memory in hindsight? What had he been feeling that night? Passion, certainly, she had felt that from him, so much that it seemed to generate energy between them, electricity, fusion. She had felt that night as if they were more than the sum of their bodies, as if they were com bustible, like Georgia had said: a constantly exploding supernova.
“I…” She sighed. “It’s so strange. I hate to even say it out loud, and I feel so foolish.” She looked down at the top of Doug’s head and scratched between his ears.
Penelope leaned toward her and squeezed her arm with one hand. “What is it, Lily? You know you can tell us anything.”
Lily smiled at her. “As soon as Gerald started talking about marriage, I…I don’t know. Suddenly it seemed as if…as if that was the last thing I wanted.”
Lily shifted her eyes from Megan to Penelope. Pen looked shocked, but Megan was nodding slowly.
“But why?” Penelope said. “We just met him, and we all liked him so much! Did he do something?”
“I…just don’t think he really loves me,” Lily hedged.
“Oh now that’s just paranoia.” Penelope sat back, looking assured, and somewhat relieved. “It’s cold feet. Of course he loves you. Why else would he be talking marriage?”
Lily met Megan’s eyes but couldn’t hold the contact. She said to Penelope, “The thing is, I don’t think I really love him either.” She shrugged. “It’s strange, but I guess I had to reach the point of almost getting what I wanted before I knew I didn’t really want it. Gerald was sort of a figment of my imagination, I think. A dream. Apparently I didn’t want him to come true.” She laughed morbidly. “Now it’s my turn: Do you think that’s crazy?”
“Absolutely not,” Megan answered immediately. “You have to trust your feelings. You’re not committed. It would be foolish to continue the relationship just because it was something you always thought you’d wanted. I say dump him.”
“What did you say to him?” Penelope asked, still gazing at her wide-eyed. “Did you break up?”
Lily grimaced. “Not yet. I thought I’d let him go on this trip, give ourselves this break, then talk to him after we’ve both had time to think. I want to be sure of my feelings before I do anything. I just don’t know how to get sure! It’s like my feelings change from day to day, hour to hour.”
“Are you saying that sometimes you still think you’re in love with Gerald?” Megan asked, with an all too knowing look.
Lily shook her head. “More like sometimes I don’t want to let go of the dream. I’m so used to having it. It’s the reality I don’t want. How sick is that?”
“No sicker than the rest of us,” Megan said.
“Which isn’t saying much.” Penelope laughed.
Brady avoided Lily for the next few weeks. It was easier than he thought it would be, which clued him in to the fact that she was also avoiding him.
Not that he thought she’d come running after him. She’d made it pretty clear that any contact she had with him was a mistake. An opinion that was no doubt confirmed by the episode with Tricia the night after they’d slept together.
The more he thought about it, the less he could blame her. The situation had gotten ridiculous. Who could overcome the obstacles to a normal relationship that he’d manufactured in his life? He’d come to town hoping for a fresh start, but that had been blown the moment Tricia had shown up, the very first day he was here. Then, not long after that, he’d broken all promises to himself and kissed Lily. Then he tried to back off and explain how he wasn’t doing that sort of thing anymore, then he’d slept with her and Tricia had shown up again.
It was obvious, the writing was on the wall, they were not meant to be. Tricia was like an evil omen, a personal reality check that appeared whenever he committed the same mistake he always did.
Not that Lily was nuts like Tricia. But she was clearly not any woman he should be falling for. The date diet was supposed to help him make wiser decisions in cases like these. He was supposed to make friends first, then move into intimacy. Instead, he chose someone who was in love with someone else and jumped into bed with her.
That probably hadn’t done anything positive for her either. She was probably torturing herself with guilt over Gerald, now, too.
No, the whole thing was a mess, making it a perfect situation to run away from.
So run he did. With the aid of his boss, Sutter Foley, who had a series of meetings and conferences across the country from New York to LA and a couple of cities in between, he flew off into the sunset for days at a time, hoping to expunge the idea of Lily from his mind and heart.
Flying had always been a relief for him. Something about getting up in the air released Brady from the tensions of his earthbound life. Up above the clouds, his worries seemed tiny and manageable. He had long considered flying his therapy, the sky his shrink.
Not very poetic, but there you had it. He was a man in search of space, and the sky was the only freedom from himself he could find.
“How long have we got?” Honey Miller, his copilot, asked from the seat next to his as they touched down on the tarmac.
Too bad it was ninety-two degrees in Chicago, Brady thought. Not much to do outside with the weather so crappy. Maybe he’d take in a movie, now that he’d finished his audiobook.
He’d liked the ending of the book, liked that Emma ended up with Knightley and not that charlatan Churchill, but Lily was crazy if she thought Gerald was anything like the gentleman all the other characters admired so much. Knightley was not the self-centered egotist Gerald was, and he genuinely had Emma’s best interests at heart.
Gerald appeare
d to like only what Lily would do for his best interests.
Brady focused on the task at hand, taxiing the plane down the runway and picking up the radio handset. “I’d say about six hours. Maybe seven. They’re having lunch out, but coming back here after the last meeting. Keep your cell phone on. I’ll let you know departure time when I know it.”
“Should we get the fixed base operator to take a look at the flight director?” she asked.
“I’m about to do just that,” he said.
He radioed the tower. After identifying himself and the plane, he asked, “Where’s the nearest FBO? I need catering and maintenance.”
The tower radioed back, gave him the particulars.
“Have you got an avionics mechanic here?” Brady added. “Yeah, the flight director’s acting a little screwy.”
The voice on the other end instructed him where to go, and he signed off. He took the plane toward the hangar they’d indicated as Honey undid her seat belt and began gathering her things.
In the cockpit, the part-time stewardess—Brandi, with an ‘I’—was preparing the aircraft for the passengers’ deplaning. Foley had flown with two VPs and his director of research and development for this meeting, and they were only here for the day.
“You going for a run?” Honey asked, once he’d stopped the plane. She rose from the seat and grabbed her bag from the compartment behind the cockpit.
“Nah. Too hot. I might see a movie.”
“They having dinner on the plane?” Honey asked, jerking her head back toward the passengers.
“I don’t think so, but I want to have something for them to eat. Tomorrow’s double meetings in New York and Boston, so they want to get home tonight quick.” He shook his head at their schedule, but he was glad for the airtime. “Busy week.”
“I’ll say. So I’ll wait for your call.”
Brady looked at Honey. “Yeah, but plan on being back about eight-thirty for the walk around. We’ll probably leave by nine-fifteen.”
“I don’t know why they don’t just stay here and go straight to Boston tomorrow morning,” she said, hefting her bag onto her shoulder.
Brady gave her a sly smile. “You were at the party a few weeks ago. I’m thinking the boss wants to get back to his new fiancée.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. “whatever. I’m going to the gym.”
He gave her a short salute with his pencil. “Sweat some for me.”
She nodded once. “Will do. Have a good day.”
“You bet.” Brady turned back to the instrument panel and made sure everything was in order, then sat back in the cockpit seat.
A second later, he heard Honey say, “Oh, excuse me, sir. I thought you were already gone.”
“Not at all,” Sutter Foley’s voice replied. “Just want a word with Captain Cole.”
“Yes, sir,” she said.
Brady heard her exit the airplane and turned in his seat to see Sutter duck into the cockpit.
“What can I do for you, sir?”
Sutter looked distinctly uncomfortable and Brady felt a moment of trepidation.
“Just wanted a word.” He came into the cockpit and looked around.
“Should I come out there, or would you like to sit here?” Brady asked, gesturing toward the copilot’s seat. “Or is this something I should ask the FBO if they’ve got a conference room we could use?”
“Oh no, no. It’s nothing like that.” Sutter came over and folded his long body into the copilot’s seat. “Look, this is awkward, and I promised myself I wasn’t going to do it, but Megan’s been after me…you know how it is.”
Brady exhaled. Not something about work, then. He wasn’t being fired, on top of everything else he’d screwed up lately.
He grinned. “Not really. Been a while since I’ve been in a relationship. Never been in one like yours.”
Brady liked his boss. Sutter was formal when they were working, which made Brady’s job that much easier, but laid-back when business was off the table. Not that things ever got too personal. Those conversations consisted mostly of things like “Got good weekend plans?” or “Hope you didn’t imbibe last night, we’ve got a last-minute flight this morning.”
“It has its moments,” Sutter said, grimacing. “Look, I don’t want to pry, but Megan’s wondering about Penelope. You should know she’s very protective of her friends, very involved with them. I don’t quite understand it, but it seems to work for them.”
“Women are always plotting and scheming together,” Brady said. “We don’t stand a chance.”
“Now you see that’s exactly the kind of thing you should never say to Megan,” Sutter said, running a hand down his tie and looking out the cockpit windshield. “I learn that lesson about once a week.”
“But it’s worth it, right?” Brady said.
Sutter sent him a dubious look, then laughed. “It is, but don’t ever tell her I said so. I’ll lose the only edge I’ve got.”
“Keep ’em guessing.” Brady nodded. “Listen, I know they’ve had a plot or two involving me, and I’m pretty sure I’ve screwed up my end of the effort.”
“It’s the only way to keep them from trying again,” Sutter said, chuckling. “Look, you don’t have to tell me anything. I just wanted to give you the heads up that she’s on the scent of this thing and wants to figure you out. For her to try to put me on the case is unusual. So let me apologize for the whole situation right now. I’d stop her if I had any control over her at all.”
Brady smiled and unhooked his seat belt. “Nah, that’s okay. I mean, I don’t know what to tell her, but it’s flattering that she’s interested in me at all. Makes me think maybe I’m not so obviously bad for people, if she’s willing to set me up with a friend.”
“You’re being a bit hard on yourself,” Sutter said, then gave him a sly look. “But you know yourself best. Here’s what I was thinking. I can tell her now that I’ve brought it up with you—which will get me off the hook—and I’ll say that you think Penelope’s a nice girl but you’re taking your time, playing the field, as they say, and don’t want to rush into anything. That will give her enough to think about, but get you off the hook for anything definite, at least temporarily. And we’ll leave it at that. All right with you, then?”
Brady narrowed his eyes, with a wise-guy smile. “You think she’ll leave it at that?”
“Absolutely not. She’ll think I didn’t ask the right questions. But she’s used to my incompetence in these areas.” Sutter smiled.
Brady laughed. “I do believe you’re ready for marriage, Mr. Foley. But here’s what you can tell her about Penelope. Great girl, gorgeous girl, but I’m not dating right now. I told her that before, so she’ll believe you heard the party line.”
“Deal.” Sutter nodded and rose from the seat. He moved toward the cockpit door, then turned a shrewd glance down at Brady. “And did I hear the party line? Not interested in Penelope, are you?” He raised a brow. “Just curious, you know. I learned from an old maiden aunt of mine that you can’t watch part of a soap opera without wanting to know the rest.”
Brady chuckled and pushed himself out of the pilot’s seat. “Nothing against Penelope, and frankly I don’t think she’ll be all that heartbroken if I don’t ask her out, but to be honest, I’m waiting for the right girl to become available.”
Sutter chuckled. “I thought so.” He started to leave, then paused at the door. “It’s none of my business, of course. But if the right girl is Lily Tyler, you won’t have long to wait, I don’t think.”
Brady’s mouth dropped open. He started to reply, but he had no idea what to say. How had Sutter known? Had he been that obvious? And if he had been, when?
And what did he mean, he wouldn’t have long to wait?
Sutter read his face and chuckled again. “See you tonight,” he said, and left.
It just went to show, Brady thought, the girls had nothing on guys when they were paying attention.
Unless, he thou
ght suddenly, that last bit of information was the real tidbit Megan had been after…
Seventeen
Lily sat in her living room, drinking an iced tea and writing up lesson plans for summer school when she saw Brady running up the street, iPod strapped to his arm. He slowed when he was still two doors down and disconnected the earpieces, then pulled his tee shirt over his head as he reached the driveway to the house.
He’d been gone a lot lately, flying, and it felt good to see him back, even if they weren’t exactly talking.
Lily paused, watching him. Her breath caught at the sight of his bare chest, legs pumped and sinewy from running, sweat leaving a sheen on his tanned skin. His hair was dark with the damp, his stride long and loose from the exercise.
She swallowed hard, feeling him on her skin, hearing his voice in her head, reaching for him with her mind.
They hadn’t spoken more than two words to each other in more than three weeks. Occasionally they passed each other on the street while driving. She’d see him on his motorcycle, and he’d hold up a hand. Or she’d catch a glimpse of him going inside as she was going out, but they said little more than hello.
For her part, Lily couldn’t help following him with her eyes, but he barely looked at her.
Between her outburst the day after they’d slept together, and his reaction to Tricia’s appearance on the front lawn, they both seemed lost in mortifications of their own that kept them apart.
The most interesting thing to Lily, however, was the fact that in all that time Brady had still not asked Penelope out. Lily had found this out from Megan because she was too afraid to ask Penelope, too afraid to hear disappointment in her friend’s voice and feel responsible.
Megan, on the other hand, didn’t seem very worried about it. Lily would have asked her why, but she didn’t want to appear too interested in Brady’s actions. Megan was too close to figuring things out as it was.