by Erin Osborne
“I’ve got a plan in place. I want to start seeing someone and talking through things. Learn to push past my comfort zone. I want to be the woman you deserve to have at your side, Grave,” I tell him.
“Seems you’ve been busy,” he says, a smile on his face.
“Yeah.”
“What do you think it’s gonna take to be by my side?” he asks, sitting down as the kids play on the floor.
“Someone who’s not afraid to be outside alone. Who can handle being on their own if you have club business? Someone who knows what she wants and goes for it,” I say, nervous as hell for telling him that.
“Yeah, but no matter what, I want you. Just the way you are. Nessa, I see a fire and strength in you I’m sure you thought was lost long ago. If you even know it’s there. I’ve seen it since day one when you came in here beaten and broken beyond repair. Now look at you,” he says.
“I’m not really that better off now than when I got here,” I say.
“Sure you are. Other than me bein’ gone, you’ve been lettin’ me in, goin’ to classes offered here, and you want to start movin’ on with your life. How isn’t that better than when you got here?” he asks.
“I guess it is. Now, what are you making for dinner?” I ask, turning the attention away from me.
“Cheeseburgers and French fries,” he says, a sheepish smile on his face.
“Sounds amazing,” I say. “I’m gonna wash up real quick before we eat. Thank you, Grave. For everything.”
“You don’t need to thank me, babe. I’m here no matter what,” he responds.
I make my way to the bathroom and wash up. Pulling my hair back, I toss it in a messy bun and splash my face with cold water. After I’m done, I go back to the kitchen and help Grave finish making dinner. The kids want to help, but with the grease from the burgers, we keep them away from the stove. I put their plates together while Grave takes care of ours. He makes my food just the way I like it— mayonnaise and ketchup on my burger and some gravy for my fries. I’m not surprised he knows how I like my food because Grave pays attention to the smallest detail and doesn’t let much slip past him.
We sit down the way a family would sit down to a meal together. Or at least the way I always thought a family would eat together. The kids talk and laugh while Grave and I try to keep up with them. Once we’re done eating, he helps me clean up the kitchen while the kids watch a movie in the living room. We join them as soon as the dishes are put away and watch one of their movies. I think Grave’s watched more animated movies since being around me than his entire life. He never once complains about it though.
Tonight, Grave doesn’t leave after the movie’s done and I’m ready to bathe the kids. He stays on the couch and turns on a movie while I get the twins ready for bed. I’m not sure what’s going on, but I’ll find out soon enough I guess. The thought of him staying the night with us sends a thrill through me I’ve never experienced before. I’m not scared of him being here, I’m worried he’ll want more than what I can give him.
“Stop thinkin’ so hard,” he says, standing in the bathroom doorway.
“What?” I ask confused.
“I’m ridin’ the couch. Don’t want you alone tonight,” he tells me.
“Oh, well, you can take my bed. I’ll sleep on the couch,” I tell him.
“Not up for debate. I’m not takin’ your bed,” he says, turning to leave the room. “We can watch a movie after we put the kids to bed.”
I sit in stunned silence for a minute. Tyler splashes and gets water over the front of my shirt. Both kids laugh like crazy. Pulling the plug, I let the water drain so I can dry the kids off and get them in their pajamas. Once they’re ready, I give them a small snack and some juice before leading them to their room. Grave follows me and helps me tuck them in before he reads them a story.
No one has ever helped me put the kids to bed. This is the first time I’ve ever had someone tuck them in, read to them, or make sure they had their bears with them. A strange feeling washes over me as I watch Grave walk quietly from the room and make sure the nightlights are on before turning out the overhead light.
Following him back to the living room, we sit on the couch as he flips on a movie. I can’t even tell you what happens in the movie because he lays down on the couch and pulls me to lay in front of him. Grave’s arm wraps around me as I sink into the warmth and strength of his body. This is what I’ve longed for my entire life— a man who wants me for me and knows what it takes to treasure that person.
Before I know it, I’m once again asleep. Grave’s body heat soaks into me and warms me from the inside out. I dream of our family and Grave is a part of it all. It’s not the first time I’ve dreamed of him being by our side and it’s not going to be the last. What it’s gonna be is reality, our new reality.
Chapter Thirteen
Grave
YESTERDAY WAS THE worst and best day of my life. It was the worst because I wasn’t here for my woman and kids. It took what felt like years to get to them knowing she was going through hell alone. The best because Vanessa finally started to open up to me. She let me in to see the demons who truly haunt her and the pain she’s healing from.
It was torture watching Vanessa relive her past. As she spoke of the ghosts and demons of her past haunted her tormented eyes. I watched her draw in on herself and could see the shame she felt for staying so long. Just like I could see her questioning how I now feel about her in her eyes. She wears her heart on her sleeve and can’t hide every emotion she feels because they flit through her eyes. My feelings for Vanessa are still the same— I want her to be mine for the rest of our days.
I had no clue Tyler and Kayla are here because her sick fuck of a husband raped her and stole her virginity. They’re here because he violated her and Vanessa doesn’t hold it against them at all. Those kids are her life, her entire world. She cherishes every second they spend together and is working on getting her shit right so she can be the best mom to them. I’ve never met a woman with more strength, honor, and love than the woman before me. Now, I’m going to take things a step farther with her.
There’s been no question on my part about what I want with Vanessa— she’s mine. Today, we need to have a talk about me claiming her in the eyes of the club. If for no other reason right now than to protect my family. I love Vanessa, Tyler, and Kayla more than I ever dreamed possible. Remember, I never wanted an ol’ lady or kids. Now, I can’t imagine my life without them in it. I won’t accept them not being in my life as anything less than mine.
So, before Vanessa goes to class today, I’m going to claim her. We’re going to talk about it before I do it, but I’ve already got everything set up and ready to go. The officers of the club aren’t making her go to the clubhouse for me to claim her. They’re going to come here to the compound. She’s not ready to face Satan’s babes and hear their catty remarks because I’m with her and only her now. Vanessa will be strong enough to go there one day and she’ll thrive with the ol’ ladies in the club. It’s all about baby steps for the time being.
Nessa is in the kitchen cooking pancakes, eggs, and bacon for breakfast. It smells like heaven in the house with the smells of the food cooking. The kids are sitting with me on the couch watching cartoons as they finish waking up for the day. Now is the time I need to talk to her.
“Nessa, we need to talk,” I say, walking into the kitchen.
“Okay. Have I done something wrong?” she asks, fear in her voice.
“No, it’s nothin’ like that. I’ve been thinkin’ about somethin’. You’re under the club’s protection because you’re here at the compound, but I wanna make things official in the eyes of the club. So, I’ve talked to Renegade about claimin’ you,” I tell her. “That means in the eyes of the club, you’re my woman and the kids are my kids. They’ll put their lives on the line for you and the ol’ ladies will be here to have your back no matter what’s goin’ on.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready for
that, Grave. I mean, I’m already endangering people by still being here when Ray says he knows where I am. He knows enough to send the note to the post office box,” she tells me.
“I know. The club doesn’t see it that way though. He’s in the wrong and he’s goin’ to get what’s comin’ to him, I guarantee you. You already know I’m not gonna rest until we’re together. So, I’m just makin’ things official in the eyes of the club. Can you handle that?” I ask her.
Vanessa turns her back to me and thinks about things for a few minutes. I’m not a nervous man, but right now I feel like I’m sweating bullets. Finally, she turns around to face me and her face and chest are covered in a faint red blush. What the hell is she thinking to make her blush like this?
“Grave, I’m not ready for a sexual relationship,” she says, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.
“That’s fine, babe. I know you’re not. That part of the relationship is up to you. We’ll take things as slow as you want,” I tell her.
“Are you sure? I mean, you have needs and there’s plenty of women at the clubhouse to help you in that regard, from what I’ve heard,” she says, turning even redder.
“Satan’s babes are there. But I haven’t touched a single one of them since the first day you showed up here,” I tell her.
Vanessa’s mouth drops open in shock and I want to make a comment so bad, but I know it will only serve to further shock the shit out of her. So, I keep my mouth shut and let her have some time to process that information. In the meantime, I take the spatula from her hand and flip the pancakes so they don’t burn. There’s so much I have to do to get ready for the kids and her.
“And to answer your question, yes, I’m sure. I’ll be honest— I always said I wasn’t gonna have an ol’ lady or kids. Now, I don’t want to imagine life without the three of you in it. If we decide to have kids on down the road, that’s good too. You’re an amazin’ mom and it’d be an honor for you to be the mother of my children, parts of each of us,” I say, handing her the spatula back.
“Then, yes, I’ll be your ol’ lady. Though I’m not old enough to be called an ol’ lady,” she says, finishing up breakfast.
“It’s not because of your age, babe. It’s a term of endearment in the eyes of the club. And I should probably mention by me claimin’ you, it’s the same thing in the club as us bein’ married,” I tell her, waiting for her to run for the hills.
“I’m already married, though. I can’t be married to you if I’m still married to Ray,” she tells me, her hand on her hip.
“It’s not the same as bein’ married in a ceremony. You’re my ol’ lady and to club members, club whores, and anyone else involved in the club, you’re viewed as my wife, not just my girlfriend,” I tell her.
“Okay, then let’s do this,” she says, putting on her tough façade.
“The guys will be here soon. They’re comin’ here so I can claim you in front of them. It’s nothin’ sexual or anythin’ like that. I have to proclaim you as my ol’ lady and give you a rag like the rest of the ol’ ladies wear. Whenever you’re at the clubhouse or out, you need to wear it,” I say, knowing she’s listening to me even though she’s making our plates.
“Anything else I need to know?” she asks, handing me the kids’ plates while she pours their juice.
“Eventually you’ll have to get a tattoo,” I say, looking at her.
“Oh, okay,” she says.
“Kids, let’s eat,” I call out for Tyler and Kayla.
The kids come running into the kitchen and take their normal seats at the table. We’ve been having them put their bears in the extra seat at the table so they don’t get any food on them. I watch them for a minute as they dig into their food and stop chattering away. When they really like the meal, they don’t talk until they’re done eating. Vanessa’s rule is everyone waits at the table for the others to be done eating, and it’s a rule I’m fully on board with. Sometimes I imagine more kids at the table and us laughing, talking, and eating as a family every day.
“Grave, more please,” Kayla asks, pushing her plate toward me.
Well, damn. I was so lost in thought; I didn’t even notice she was done with her food.
“What would you like, sweetheart?” I ask her, looking at Vanessa.
“Cake,” she says.
“Another pancake for the princess,” I tell her, putting a pancake on her plate.
After adding butter and cutting it up for her, I add the syrup and push her plate back over to her. She digs in as Tyler looks up at his mom. I watch as she gets him another small pancake and slice of bacon. Once she’s done with his plate, she digs into her own food. I’m the only one done as I look around at my family. Soon, I can officially call them my family.
Once we’re done eating, I help Vanessa clean up the kitchen. While we’re doing dishes, the kids finish watching their cartoons. We’ll get them dressed for the day as soon as we’re done cleaning up. It’s their normal routine from what I’ve seen. I’m not sure how Vanessa’s gonna change it up when they go to head start. We’ve already talked about them starting next year. Cassidy is going to get her the information she needs to set up a meeting. Her main concern is Ray and if he’s going to try something when the kids are at school. We’ll make sure he doesn’t. Even if I have to hire someone to be there with the kids.
“Let’s get the kids ready because the guys are on their way. I’ll take Tyler while you get Kayla dressed,” I tell her after checking my phone.
“Okay,” she answers, taking a deep breath.
I know the guys in the club intimidate the hell out of her, but she’s putting that fear and nervousness aside so I can claim her. Every day I’m amazed by Vanessa and what she’s trying to do with her life. She wants to get it back on track and she’s finally taking the steps to do it. I’m proud as fuck to call her my ol’ lady.
Walking out of the bedroom, I see Vanessa brushing out Kayla’s hair. She’s putting it up in ponytails so it stays out of her face. Kayla’s already tried cutting it herself because it was bugging her. Now, it gets put up every day and she leaves it alone. Kayla looks cute as hell with her hair up in little designs Vanessa thinks of.
Tyler is dressed in a pair of shorts with a plain tee-shirt. He’s got socks on his feet and I’m looking for his sneakers before he takes them off. I’ve never seen a kid who loves to run around barefoot as much as him. Kayla has a little dress on with sandals covering her feet. Vanessa hands me the sneakers I’m looking for and I put them on the boys feet just as he goes to take his first sock off.
By the time we’re done, I hear the rumble of the bikes coming into the compound. Tyler looks at me with wide eyes and a smile on his face. The smile fills his face as he starts practically jumping around in a need to see the bikes pulling in. Vanessa nods at me when I look at her. I pick him up and walk out the front door. He instantly covers his ears as the bikes all pull up to the curb in front of the house and shut down one by one.
Once they’re all off, I set Tyler down on the ground and walk him over to the bikes. He looks at each and every one of them as the guys stand back and watch him. Pointing at Psycho’s bike, he tells me he likes it the best. Not better than mine though. Psycho and the rest of the guys laugh their asses off as he attempts to whisper to me because he didn’t whisper at all. They all heard him.
Vanessa and Kayla come outside and they stand back. Renegade goes to his saddle bags and pull out the rag I had ordered for Vanessa when I knew she was it for me. He hands it over to me and I turn to face her. After motioning her to come closer, I take her hand in mine.
“Vanessa, I told you I’ve known since day one there was a fire burnin’ in you. You get stronger every day I see you or talk to you. I want you in my life for the rest of my days. This rag represents your loyalty not only to me but to the club. I claim you, Vanessa, as my ol’ lady. The kids and you are now mine,” I say for all the guys to hear.
Vanessa blushes as I turn her around to put the
rag on her shoulders. Something about seeing my name on her back in our colors on her leather makes my cock hard as fuck. I adjust myself without calling attention to it and turn her back around to face me. Pulling her in close, I kiss her softly on the lips. Her lips are soft and sweet beneath mine. I can taste the mint of her toothpaste without deepening the kiss.
Electricity shoots through me as I pull away. It just confirms Vanessa truly is the one woman on this Earth meant for me. I’m ready to make her mine in all the ways possible, but I’m willing to wait for her. Once she’s ready, I’ll be taking her to bed and putting my ring on her finger. She’ll have my last name and I’ll make sure the kids do too. I’m not afraid of confronting Ray and making him sign whatever papers I need him to sign to relinquish his rights to my family once and for all.
“Renegade, before you guys head out, I need a minute,” I tell him.
Vanessa takes the kids and heads back closer to the house. I’m sure she thinks it’s club business, but it’s not. I need to talk to him about building us a house at the club. The guys are starting to build their own there and I’m ready to build us a house there too. She’ll be close to Natasha and the club if something happens. Plus, she’ll still have the safety of a fence surrounding the property.
“What’s goin’ on?” he asks.
“I want to talk to you about buildin’ a house close to yours,” I tell him as Psycho comes over.
“Okay. When?” he asks.
“As soon as fuckin’ possible,” I answer.
“Okay. She’ll still be comin’ here for classes and things?” he asks.
“Yeah. I’m gonna make sure of it. Especially the self-defense classes,” I say.
“Happy for you, man,” Psycho says, slapping me on the back.