“You don’t have to read it.”
He chuckled. “Thanks for giving my pussy some love, maybe you ought to see about yourself now. Seem a little tightly wound.” He glanced down my body, his inclination clear.
My face warmed and I opened my mouth to speak, but he turned on his heel and walked away, taking the kitty and his fabulous display of male perfection to his room.
On Monday morning I said goodbye to Richard from bed. It was dark out and my eyes were heavy. He had an early meeting and wanted to prepare so he kissed me goodbye, told me he’d call when he got to New York tonight, and I continued to lay in bed until my alarm went off.
I typically didn’t check my email until I got to the office in the mornings, but I opened it up anyway as I selected what to wear. I settled on a dress that hadn’t seen nearly enough wear for as beautiful as it was. It was one of those items you buy for a special event and then only wear it the once. That was silly. A dress like this deserved to be worn more often.
There were no new emails from Finn, but there was one from Richard. I tried hard to force the same excitement at seeing my boyfriend’s name. Look, I knew relationships weren’t about the exciting things that happen early on – those get-to-know you moments were the best, but it was the intimacy that came after that was gone that made a relationship. I knew that and I had to repeat it to myself as I opened Richard’s email. It was an invitation for a job interview he’d forwarded from what I could only assume was the headhunter he’d spoke of.
The phone rang while I was re-reading it for the tenth time.
“Hi,” I answered, not bothering to shield my confused tone.
“Did you see the email I sent?”
“Yeah, this interview is for Friday. As in this Friday.”
“Isn’t it great? Madelyn’s good. She emailed over the job post this morning and I looked it over – it’s the perfect job for you. You have the experience and they’re even willing to pay for school. And the best part is they’re looking for someone to start immediately. You could be in New York with me in as little as a week or two. It’s all coming together.”
“I… but…” Words failed me. Frustration, anger, sadness… it was all happening so fast. Too fast.
“Richard, I have a job here. I’m not even sure I can get off for the interview Friday. I like my job here and it’s important to me. I wish you’d let me talk to them before doing this. What am I supposed to tell Harry? I don’t know anything about the other job. What if it’s not what I want?”
He was quiet for a moment before he spoke calmly, “Are you having second thoughts about New York? Is that what this is about?”
“No.” I sat on the bed. “Maybe. It’s just happening faster than I expected.”
He sighed and I felt like an ungrateful child. “Look over the job, talk to Harry, and we’ll go from there. I guess I got a little ahead of myself. I’m just so excited to finally get you there with me. I’m tired of living across the country from my girlfriend.”
“You’re right.” I closed my eyes and nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll be right there,” he spoke away from the phone and then to me said, “I’ve gotta go. We can talk more tonight.”
I skipped coffee and filling out my gratitude journal, deciding to swing by Starbucks on the way to work. On the drive, I recited the things I was grateful for.
I am grateful for a boyfriend who wants me with him.
I am grateful for how quickly a job opportunity has presented itself.
I am grateful for…
I glanced out the window, taking in the cute waterfront stores. I would miss it here. The beauty, the ocean, my family.
I am grateful to have lived in Hermosa Beach.
But, and this was a big one that scared me a little, so I knew it was especially important.
I am grateful for a new adventure in New York.
I went through my usual routine when I got to the office and then sat at my desk reading the job details for the interview on Friday. Richard was right, it did sound like a perfect opportunity. I’d be a clerk instead of an assistant and the job duties were more in line with the parts of my current job I enjoyed. They were a larger firm and probably had an office manager who took care of the other things I did in my present role.
The salary range was a big bump, though I knew it would be a more time-consuming job, too. Possible travel up to twenty-five percent. They had offices in Paris, Dublin, and London. My head was spinning so fast. It was nerve-wracking but exciting.
I liked my job now and I was good at it. I had a knack for expecting the unexpected and thinking two steps ahead of everyone else. Often, I’d already done things before Harry and the other partners even thought to ask. I was an asset, but New York would be a new challenge.
When Harry got into the office, I followed him in with a bag containing his favorite jalapeno bagel and an iced coffee.
“Good morning. Did you have a nice weekend?” I asked, setting the bag and coffee on his desk.
Harry shrugged out of his jacket and adjusted the knot of his tie while he looked at my offering and then me.
“You look nice. Really nice. New dress?”
I stifled a laugh. I’d bought this dress for an event I’d attended with him, but that had been years ago so I could hardly hold it against him for not remembering.
“No.” I ran a hand down my side. “Just had it tucked away in the back of the closet.”
He stared a bit longer – a look I recognized on his face. I’d dated him for long enough I knew when he liked what he saw. He caught himself and sat down, smiled stiffly, and dug into the bag for his bagel. “Thanks for this. My weekend was crap. Charlotte and I worked a fundraiser at her kids’ school and then Tatum had two friends stay the night. I woke up in the middle of the night to giggling and found them trying to make breakfast downstairs. Real French pastries.” He shook his head but there was a happiness about the way he said it. A contentedness. Harry had begun dating a single mum shortly after we broke up. He was happy. A happy we’d never been.
“Sounds eventful.”
“What about you? Did Richard come into town this weekend?”
“He did.” I clasped my hands in front of me. “Actually, since we’re on the topic, I wanted to ask if I could have Friday off to go to New York.”
He nodded as he chewed. “You know the office schedule better than anyone. Just make sure Bobbi has a heads up on anything that needs to be taken care of. Two weekends in a month, huh? Pretty soon you’re going to be telling me you’re moving up there.” He gave a little laugh and when I didn’t join in, he stilled and put down the bagel. “Christ, I thought this might happen, but I’d hoped not. When are you going?”
“I have an interview Friday. I won’t leave you in a lurch, you know that. Even if this interview goes well, I’ll make sure someone else is trained before I leave.”
“I hate to see you go, but I get it.”
“Thank you, Harry. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me.”
“Likewise. You’re the best employee this office has seen in as long as I’ve been here. You outgrew us a long time ago, but I’m thankful you’ve stayed as long as you have.”
His words touched me. “Thanks for taking a chance on a girl with a shoddy work history.”
He smiled a bit sadly and I backed out of his office and went to grab my phone. I tapped out a text to Richard to let him know I was able to get Friday off and then emailed Madelyn myself to confirm and attach my resume.
I could only hope everything else would fall together as easily as it had so far. Including telling my brother. Like me, I was sure he assumed my moving was something that wouldn’t happen anytime soon and I wasn’t ready to break it to him until I knew for sure.
Adele
There was a strange smell in my house. I stepped through the front door with my purse in one hand and a brown bag with my half-eaten sandwich from lunch in the other. My stomach growled
and did a somersault at the sight of Finn in my kitchen. Fact: a man in the kitchen was hot. Also a fact, Finn was hot. The somersault therefore couldn’t be helped.
“What are you doing?”
He looked up and shot me a disarming smile. “Someone ought to use this kitchen for more than storing sparkling water. Your knives were shit. I got you a new one.” He lifted the big, shiny knife and then went right back to chopping whatever it was he had on the cutting board.
“You cook? Seriously?”
“I like to eat.” He shrugged. “Going out isn’t always the easiest, so I learned to cook a few things.”
“Right. Dining at all the LA hotspots looked like a real chore.” My face heated and I tried with all my might to suck back in the words. I’d given too much away about my snooping his social media. His gaze snapped to mine and I waited for him to call me out on it, but he didn’t.
“Do you like Thai?”
“I like all food.” I put my sandwich in the fridge. “What can I do to help?”
“Can I trust you with the knife?”
I rolled my eyes. “Just because I don’t like to cook doesn’t mean I don’t know how.”
All lies.
He shook the knife at me. “Now, I know that’s a lie. I’ve seen your fridge and I’ve read your gratitude journal. I distinctly remember seeing takeaway on the list of things you were grateful for more than once. Along with really odd foods like beef wellington and baked Alaska – none of which I’ve seen you make.”
“Maybe I’m just busy and grateful for the convenience of takeaway.”
He waited me out.
“Fine, I can’t cook.” I shot him a playful glare. “Beef wellington and baked Alaska are on my list of things to learn to make someday.”
He smirked. “Like a cooking for dummies class?”
I took the knife from him. “Something like that.”
I diced the onion while Finn cooked the chicken and boiled water for the noodles. Eventually I sat down on the stool on the other side of the kitchen counter and watched him work. Let’s be honest, I wasn’t providing a lot of value anyway.
“Did you and the ex cook together a lot?”
He paused with the spatula lifted above the pan and I regretted bringing it up.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. Just curious. From everything I’ve seen, your lives looked more like an episode of the Kardashians than Rachel Ray.”
“Cindy preferred going out. She didn’t like the mess or the smell.”
“The smell?”
He’d gone back to stirring again and I noticed how at ease he looked and how down to earth he seemed. I was having a hard time getting a handle on which Finn was real – this one, or was this just Finn fresh off a broken heart hiding out from the world?
“Yeah, she didn’t like the smells lingering after dinner.”
“As opposed to it smelling like scented candles and incense?”
He chuckled, turned the heat down, and covered the pan. Sitting next to me on the other stool, Finn said, “I guess so.”
He propped an elbow on the counter and gave me his full attention. “Does the boyfriend cook?”
“No, he’s hopeless in the kitchen, too.”
“So, you guys just eat out all the time?”
“During the week, it’s just me. Cooking for one is hard and not very fun so I usually grab something for lunch and then save half of it for dinner. On the weekends when we’re together we order in or sometimes go out. We have to cram all our date nights into a weekend. Sometimes we go two or three weeks without seeing each other.”
“It was like that for Cindy and me in the beginning too.”
“It was?”
“We started dating when I was still in Sydney. The time difference was killer. We were lucky to talk on the phone most days.”
“How did you meet?”
With a goofy grin on his face, he said, “She messaged me.”
“Like slid into your DMs with some sort of flirty message or…” My eyes widened. “A sexy picture?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Nothing like that. She messaged me after a game. A brutal loss against New Zealand. She told me—” He paused and looked at me with a smile that had me hanging on his every word. “That I’d played too wide and then proceeded to give me tips on playing right midfield. God, she was ballsy.”
His smile fell slowly and then as if he’d caught himself reliving a happy memory, he straightened. “Anyway, I guess it should have been a sign to run away instead of to her, but I was just so damn fascinated. Usually after a loss, girls wanted to make me feel better by telling me how great I was or offering to make me forget about the game, and she was just… well she was nothing I expected.”
“What do you mean it should have been a sign?”
“I wasn’t good enough for her from the very start.”
“Finn, I—”
He winced. “Please don’t give me one of those bullshit lines about how I’m better off or that everything happens for a reason.”
“What I was going to say is that I get it – why you fell for her. She challenged you and you, Finn McCash, are not used to being challenged off the field. But also, those cheesy lines are right – you’re better off.”
“And everything happens for a reason?”
“I’m not sure I believe that one myself.”
“You’re different than I expected.” Finn stood and went to the stove to check on the food.
“Oh?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged one shoulder. “You wouldn’t do a guy a solid and watch his cat for a night or two, I assumed you were judgmental and uptight.”
“Kitty needed you.”
“Yes, yes, I know. You’re a fan of my cat. Tell me, are you a fan of mine yet?”
“You’re growing on me.”
The dimple in his cheek popped out.
After we ate dinner, I forced Finn to let me clean up to thank him for the delicious meal.
“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” I asked as I loaded the dishwasher.
“Oh, actually, I can’t.”
“Hot date?” I joked.
He smiled awkwardly. “Just drinks.”
I hadn’t realized how much fun I was having with him until I pictured myself sitting in front of the TV alone all night. Having someone at home to talk to in the evenings was nice.
“I should probably work a little anyway. I’m taking off Friday to go to New York for an interview and I need to make sure the office runs as smoothly as when I’m there. Or at least seventy-five percent as smooth. Don’t want them to have it too easy or they’ll forget how much they need me.”
“I doubt very much that they don’t already know that.”
“Thank you.” I appreciated the compliment even if there was no way he could know if it were true.
“Wait, did you say a job interview?”
“Yeah, I’m uh moving to New York.” I held my arms out to my side in a display of excitement.
“With the boyfriend?”
I nodded.
“Wow. Congratulations. That’s really…” He struggled for the words. “Really great.” He grabbed his wallet and keys absently and without looking at me added, “I should get going. See ya later then.”
I went to bed early. No amount of telling myself it wasn’t my business and that I didn’t care how Finn’s date was going could keep my brain from trying to imagine it. Thoughts like, what was the girl like? Did she look like Cindy? Where had he met her? What were they talking about? Were they talking at all or was drinks just code for have sex at her place?
It was none of my business. None. Zilch.
But seriously, why her? Of all the girls in Hermosa Beach why had he selected… whoever he had? I was genuinely curious where one went after Cindy.
I even hoped he might call and need a sober driver. I’d be willing to get out of bed in the middle of the night if it meant getting a good look at his date.
> I was frustrated and feeling restless, more so than I had in years. I needed to release some of the emotions that had me keyed up or I’d never sleep. My hands trailed down my body, a light caress over my cotton shirt and stopping at my navel. Closing my eyes, I slipped a hand inside my sleep shorts. My fingers hadn’t even touched my sex before I was swimming in ecstasy.
I flipped over onto my stomach and muffled my cries with the pillow. Moving my hips and grinding down, I rode my hand. Richard’s face flitted by, his sweet smile and kind eyes. I could almost pretend my touch was his, slow and tender.
Then the face changed, shifted into another – this one younger, cockier, harder. My breaths came faster. The phantom touch on my skin was different too – frantic and rough. I fought my body and brain, wanting both slow and tender and frantic and rough. A war waged inside my body and my emotions, and I let the two have equal parts of me. My heart raced, body slick and wanting. I focused only on the pleasure as the delicious pressure splintered me in two and sent me over the edge.
After work the next day, I stopped by the store for a few groceries. Cooking, or rather eating a home cooked meal (since all I’d done was dice vegetables), had been fun and the thought of eating my leftover salad from lunch was more unappealing than usual.
Finn was sitting on the couch watching TV, kitty on his lap when I walked in. He stood and moved toward me, taking the bags from me while I stood still in the entryway.
“That’s really not necessary,” I told him feeling a bit awkward about how domestic the whole thing felt. Coming home, a man sitting on the couch, him helping me with the groceries.
I guessed that’s what it would be like when I moved in with Richard. I tried to picture the whole scenario that’d just happened but with Richard instead of Finn.
“Everything okay?” Finn asked.
Apparently, I’d stood still too long. “Sorry, yeah.”
He emptied my bags, placing everything on the counter and then holding up the steak – though he couldn’t tell what they were from the brown butcher paper.
“Please tell me this is steak?”
I smiled. “It’s steak.”
Jilted Jock : A Hero Club Novel Page 8