“Sparkling water?”
“You got it.”
I smiled and waved to a few people across the party. Everyone was in conversation, so I stood and waited for Aubrey.
“You look beautiful.” He appeared at my side, gaze sweeping over me with heat. All the air fled my lungs. I’d missed that voice. Rough Australian accent that was all confidence and arrogance. Missed it but hated the way it affected me.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper-screeched.
“I wanted to see you. We need to talk.”
“Now? Here?!” I glanced around for Richard and breathed a sigh of relief when I found he had his back to me.
Finn nodded and I looked him over carefully. Hair tussled like he’d been running his hands through it. He’d let his beard grow again, but it was trimmed close. Gray dress pants and a black button-down shirt that he’d rolled at the sleeves. Tennis shoes that were so him – dressed up, but not too stuffy.
Aubrey returned and handed me a water. “Finn, you made it.” They hugged and I shot a look of betrayal to my sister-in-law. “I’m so glad. It’s good to see you.”
“Good to see you too.”
Stunned and frozen in silence, I could only stand and gape at him.
Aubrey’s brows pulled together as she tried to understand my reaction. I knew the fear and anxiety I was feeling had to be obvious. My entire body was like one big nerve. Easing the awkwardness, she focused on Finn. “Chance is over there with CJ. He’ll be so glad you came.”
With a nod, Finn took the easy out. “Thanks.” His gaze flitted over me again briefly. “I’ll catch you later.”
When he was out of earshot, Aubrey wasted no time interrogating me. “What was that about?”
I couldn’t answer, so I shot my own question back. “Why is he here?”
“Chance invited him. He looks good. I think he’s finally back to his old self, or that’s what Chance says.”
I said nothing.
“Is everything okay? Did something happen between you two before I walked up?”
“No. No, of course not. I’m just surprised to see him.” My face warmed and travelled down my neck. I was going to be sweating soon in my new fancy dress.
“Have you talked to him since he left?”
“No. Why would I?”
Aubrey looked confused. “I don’t understand what’s wrong. I thought you’d be happy to see him.”
I rolled my eyes and forced myself to relax. Aubrey would never leave it alone if she thought I was upset. “It’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting him to be here.”
“I’m shocked you haven’t kept in touch. Finn is one of the first people in a long time to break through that tough shell of yours. You really let him into your life.”
“That was just forced proximity. He was a little hard to avoid.”
She shrugged. “Maybe, but you didn’t have to take him in to start with.”
“The guy needed a place to lick his wounds. Now that he’s all better, we have nothing to talk about. He’s, well, Finn McCash and I’m just me. We don’t exactly travel in the same circles.” Except he was here now, in my circle.
“You don’t give yourself enough credit. Besides, I thought you two were sort of cute together.”
“Cute together?” My face had to be beet red. Oh my God, had he said something to them? I shook my head. No, of course not. He would never. Besides, he’d likely already moved on and I was long forgotten. He hadn’t tried to contact me after the email about wanting to kiss me again which had only proven that I’d made the right choice in ignoring him.
“Well, yeah,” she whispered. “Look, Richard is great, but you and Finn – I could see it under different circumstances.”
I couldn’t spit the words out fast enough. She was crazy. “Finn and I are the worst possible match. He lives this big, crazy life where he can have any woman he wants. Parties, clubs, bars, and women everywhere begging for his attention.” I shook my head. I’d given this some thought, so I was prepared with all the ways that Finn and I were not compatible. “I could never be with someone like that.”
“You think that’s his lifestyle or you know it?”
I lifted a brow. “I know how my brother was when he played, and I’ve seen enough of Finn’s social media to need to bleach my eyes.”
“Alright, if you say so, but people change.”
I followed her line of vision to where Chance was pushing CJ on the swing, looking happier than I’d ever seen him. Chance hadn’t changed by choice. I’d pushed him into it, forcing him to grow up because I hadn’t. Maybe the only good thing that came from it was it’d brought him to Aubrey. Though I liked to think they’d have found each other regardless. They were the very definition of soul mates.
Finn stood next to Chance talking and looking completely at home, but his gaze was fixed on me.
I looked away and Richard caught my eye over the crowd. His warm smile stretched out across his face. I wasn’t sure if Richard was my soul mate, but I knew the only way to find out was to move to New York and give it a real shot.
“Richard is a good guy,” I told Aubrey and it was a good reminder to myself as well. He was all the things I was looking for. Generous, kind, reliable, and he loved me – there was never a doubt in how Richard felt. He was steadfast and loyal.
“Of course he is, but does he make your whole body light up every time you look at him? When he says your name do you want to throw pride out the window and throw yourself at his feet?”
I snorted, but when I glanced over at her the way she looked at my brother told me she wasn’t exaggerating by much.
I spent the next few hours avoiding Finn. Any time he moved, so did I – in the opposite direction. He disappeared inside and I let out a shaky breath and moved to the perimeter of the party to observe and enjoy. The night was winding down and who knew when I’d see these people again.
I was going to miss it here and I needed a moment to be sad about that without anyone thinking it meant something it didn’t. It was okay that I was sad. It could be sad and still be right.
Richard lifted a bottle of Perrier from the drink table and struck the side lightly with a knife. “If I could have everyone’s attention, I’d like to say a few things.”
The crowd quieted and Richard flashed his biggest, most heartfelt smile. “Thank you all for coming tonight. It means a lot to me and Adele.”
A hand wrapped around my arm and he whispered in my ear, “You can’t avoid me all night.” I ceased all ability to hear Richard, though I know he kept talking.
Finn gently turned me to face him. His eyes had a sincerity that I wasn’t expecting. “I need to talk to you.”
I walked away, moving further from the party and he followed.
“Will you stop for a second? Just give me two minutes. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
I swiveled around so fast I wobbled in my heels. “I have a boyfriend.”
“You had a boyfriend the night you kissed me too.”
“You kissed me.”
He reached out and grabbed my fingers loosely. “And I plan on doing it again.”
I stared at him, confused and frustrated by his touch. He rubbed his thumb gently along the inside of my palm. “Tell me you haven’t thought about kissing me again.”
“God, you’re arrogant,” I muttered. “And I’ve spent exactly zero seconds thinking about you since I saw you last.”
He laughed. Damn him.
Richard saying my name loudly from the front of the party doused a bucket of cold water over any smoldering emotions Finn might have lit. I glanced up to where Richard stood, careening his neck to find me. “Adele, could you come up here?”
I glanced quickly at Finn. “You need to leave.”
I moved through the crowd in a daze. My friends watched on, big, expectant smiles on their faces. I reached Richard and he wrapped an arm around my waist. He was saying nice things. All the right things. How excited he was. How
much he cared for me. I stared out into the crowd, watching Finn’s expression. He looked… mad or upset. A little like the guy I first met – completely heartbroken, but I couldn’t understand why.
I turned my attention to Richard as he dropped his arm and took my hands. “There’s only one thing that could make this night better.”
He dropped to one knee and pulled a ring from his shirt pocket. My knees buckled and Richard steadied me by taking my hand.
“Will you marry me, Adele?”
The crowd cheered. My heart thumped wildly. I looked out to the crowd where Finn had stood but couldn’t find him.
“Put him out of his misery,” someone yelled, and Richard laughed. That good-natured laugh that made people feel at ease around him. He was good at that. And he was good for me.
“What do you say?” Richard asked, nerves making his voice waver slightly. He looked up at me with such love and admiration.
“Yes.”
He stood, kissed me, whispered how much he loved me and then the crowd overtook us patting Richard on the back and congratulating the both of us.
It was a long time before I was able to slip away, but Finn had finally listened to me. He was gone.
Finn
December 2, 11:18 p.m.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: No Subject
I need to talk to you. Name the time and place and I’ll be there.
P.S. You looked beautiful last night. I know I already told you that, but it bears repeating.
Finn
December 3, 12:02 a.m.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Hey
Answer your phone, woman. Five minutes, that’s all I need.
December 3, 1:42 p.m.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Plan C
Alright, looks like we’re going with Plan C, where Plan A was talking to you last night and Plan B was kissing you until you admitted you have feelings for me. Real bummer, Plan B would have been more fun.
So, Plan C – doing this via email.
I know you have a boyfriend, and I want to respect that, but it’s damn hard to stand by when I’m one hundred percent certain what you and I have blows whatever you have with him out of the water. It’s not too late. At least give me a fair shot to show you how good we could be together.
Finn
December 24, 10:09 p.m.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas. I got you the best present ever. I finally named kitty. Ready for it? Marshmallow. Great, right? I was thinking about the night we made s’mores and it just came to me. Kitty looks like a lightly toasted marshmallow with her streaks and spots of black.
We miss you.
Finn and Marshmallow
P.S. I still maintain that lightly toasted is better than charred. Marshmallow agrees with me.
December 31, 11:59 a.m.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: New Year’s Resolutions
Happy New Year.
Last year I made a New Year’s resolution to give up soda. That lasted all of two weeks before I forgot. I took one sip before I remembered and then once I’d slipped it seemed silly to keep going. Do you make resolutions for the new year? I bet if you do, you stick to them, stubborn woman.
This year I’m not making any resolutions because I don’t want to give up anything. Including you. That’s right, sweetheart. Maybe you think you can ignore me, and I’ll forget about you, but I can be just as stubborn when I want something bad enough. And I want you badly.
Finn
January 1, 11:48 a.m.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Bear Grylls
I wrote and deleted about twelve different emails already today. There are so many things I want to say to you, but I’ve never been very good with words. I gave up and was watching Bear Grylls on TV (you’ve got me hooked) and he said something I had to tell you.
He said, “You only get one chance at life and you have to grab it boldly.” It spoke to me and I thought you’d appreciate it too. It made me think of that night we shared some of our goals in life. I haven’t done a single one, hadn’t even thought about them since then. I’m adding another item to my list: you. That’s it. In any capacity or quantity I can have you.
Finn
January 30, 1:21 a.m.
From: [email protected]
To [email protected]
Subject: Pickles
Do you like pickles? Odd question, I know, but I was having lunch today and I realized I didn’t know. I don’t mind a few dill slices on a sandwich, but I can’t stand them any other way. Those people who eat the giant pickles in public like it’s an ice cream cone. No fucking thanks. Gross.
Are you one of those people? Now that I think about it, there are probably a whole bunch of things you do or like that would annoy me. Could you tell me those please? Because all I seem to remember are all the really amazing things about you. Like how good your hair smells, and the way you’d leave just enough coffee in the pot for me every day, the way you spoiled my cat and forced me to keep her, and your smile – your smile beats all others.
I’m drunk and probably not going to send this email. The same way I haven’t sent any of my other drunken rants. Or maybe I will. I really would like to know if you like pickles. And what about salami? That’s a hard no for me as well.
Finn
February 6, 3:09 p.m.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Gratitude
I started a gratitude journal. I’m a little embarrassed about it if I’m honest, but in some way, it makes me feel closer to you. Maybe we’re jotting down our lists at the same time or maybe we happen to write the same thing one day. What are you grateful for today? Here’s my list.
Things I’m grateful for
1. Marshmallow
2. Beer
3. Liquor
4. Wine
5. Advil PM
6. Blackout curtains
7. Practice. I know that seems surprising with the others, but they all provide their own sort of escape.
Finn
P.S. (8. You)
February 9, 10:49 p.m.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Marshmallow
Marshmallow has gotten big. I taught her how to sit, lay down, shake, and spin in a circle. I can’t, however, seem to train her not to sleep on my bed. I’m attaching a picture. Maybe she also can convince you to write back?
Everything else is going well. Sleep, eat, practice, workout, and watch Bear Grylls. Marshmallow and I are almost finished with season four of Man vs. Wild. How’s New York? Are you finding adventure?
Finn
Feb 11, 12:00 a.m.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Date
I went on a date tonight. Nice girl. Beautiful too. When she asked me if I was still heartbroken, I thought of you instead of my ex. Messed up, huh? Two weeks together, one kiss (mind blowing as it was), and zero reciprocation and I’m still pining away rather pathetically. Molly, that was her name, thought I’m only still thinking about you because you haven’t written back. Do you think it’s possible that’s all this is? Maybe I’m just struggling to move on because I’m a child who can’t accept that there’s a girl out there that doesn’t want me?
I don’t think so either. Glad we agree.
Finn
Feb 14, 10:37 a.m.
From: [email protected]
To: Adele.Bateman
@gmail.com
Subject: Happy Valentine’s Day
You don’t really strike me as the kind of girl who makes a big deal out of Valentine’s Day, but that just makes me wish I could spoil you all the more.
I wandered down the aisle of chocolates and stuffed animals thinking about what I’d get you, but none of the store-bought stuff seemed right. I think if you were my valentine, I would rather spend the night at home devouring you and stuffing my… well, you get the idea. Crass fantasies aside, I can also imagine enjoying a night in – cooking, TV, just the two of us.
Instead, I’m over at my buddy Foster’s house with a few other guys, playing video games and drinking beer, nothing too crazy. Tomorrow is a media day – lots of pictures and interviews so maybe it’s good you are three thousand miles away and I can’t stay up all night like I surely would if you were mine.
Finn
Feb 17, 3:42 a.m.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Can’t Sleep
Do you have nights where you lie awake thinking about stupid shit like what a jackass you were in primary school? Why in the world did I tease Beth Shart until she cried? A name like that was too easy. What a jerk I was.
I got injured at practice today. Nothing major, just an old calf sprain that gives me trouble from time to time. It’s probably the meds that are keeping me awake. I think I’d prefer the pain to lying in bed all night with nothing but my own thoughts.
Thoughts mostly about you. Beth Shart was only a fleeting memory. You’re always there, Adele Marie Bateman. I guessed on the middle name. What is it? I think I’ll hold mine hostage too, but I will tell you that I’m named after my grandfather.
Jilted Jock : A Hero Club Novel Page 12