by Melissa Haag
“And if you’re wrong?”
“I’ve played the ‘what if’ game a few times, and all it did was give me a headache. Please stop punishing yourself for mistakes you haven’t made.”
She clasped my hands, her courage and support flowing from her.
I closed my eyes and took what she offered. Not a lot, just enough to take the edge off so I could calm down.
“Now tell me honestly, what did that taste like?”
“Flavors vary by species. You’re sweet.”
“Aw, that’s so nice of you to say. I think you’re sweet too.”
I rolled my eyes at her, and she grinned back unrepentantly.
“So, are we going to talk about what really sent Mrs. Quill running to me? She’s seen you hungry before.”
“I freaked out when she told me Fenris was at the door.” I sighed and looked down at my hands. “How do you live with the self-loathing?”
“I found a way to make peace with what I am. The gods made me and pre-programmed me with a purpose I can’t ignore. But I’m not their lackey. I’m doing this fury job on my terms.”
A rueful smile tugged at my lips.
“You sound like Fenris.”
“You’re still beating yourself up for feeding on him, aren’t you?”
“How can I not? You should have seen him, Megan. He wasn’t himself. He was—” I shook my head and let out a shaky breath. “And even knowing what I did to him, I miss him. A lot. I know I need to wean us both, but it’s hard when he keeps showing up at my house like he did this morning.”
Megan groaned.
“I’m going to get in so much trouble for this, but for you, it’s worth every second of the thirty-minute lecture Oanen will give me.”
She captured my face between her warm hands.
“Listen up, you adorable little backpack. Do you remember all those hugs Fenris was giving me?”
“Yeah. He’s way too huggy.”
“He’s huggy because of you. Each one of those hugs was so he could smell you on me. It was never about me.”
Megan’s phone started to ring, and she groaned when she saw Oanen’s name. But she still answered it.
“Hey, Oanen. You’re on speaker,” she said. “Is breakfast ready yet?”
“Where are you, Megan?”
“Exactly where I told you I was going. I’m still at Club Blayz, sitting at the bar with Eliana. No one else is here. You should see this place. I can see Nicolette’s influence.”
“Pillows on the floor?”
Megan laughed and flushed, her lust growing stronger again.
“No. It’s nothing like her apartment in that regard. Just really high-end and pretty.”
“Is Eliana all right?” he asked.
Megan gestured that I should answer.
“I’m better now. Sorry I stole Megan from you.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay. Are you keeping your word, Megan?”
She cringed.
“I’m not sure. I’m hungry. It’s hard to think straight.”
There was a beat of silence, and I could sense Megan’s growing tension.
“It’s time for you to come home, Megan. Eliana doesn’t need more people meddling in her life.”
“Okay. I’ll be right there.” She hung up on him before he could say anything more.
“Any chance you’d be willing to do that hellgate thing to get the bag I left in my closet?” I asked. “I left in a rush and really don’t want to have to ask Mrs. Quill to get it after how abrupt I was with her already this morning.”
Megan grinned at me. “Hell yes. If I’m lucky, I’ll sense Adira there.”
She disappeared before I could tell her I changed my mind. Then reappeared a moment later, holding the bag I’d packed.
“No luck with Adira,” she said, setting the bag at my feet. “Now I need a favor. Can you please do that thing you did with the feeding again before I go? Maybe I’ll be able to distract Oanen out of a lecture.”
“Only you would beg for a succubus to feed,” I said, shaking my head.
“Not any succubus. Just the one I trust with my life. One who hopefully trusts me the same.”
Giving in, I fed lightly on Megan. She grinned at me, her eyes dilated. Then, she shocked me stupid with a kiss on the lips, hopped off her stool, and disappeared in a burst of flames.
Chapter Seven
My phone buzzed a few seconds later.
Megan: I love you to the moon. Just thought I’d remind you before I do my best to distract Oanen from taking my phone away again.
My initial smile faded as I considered what she’d revealed about Fenris before Oanen’s call.
Me: How did you find out?
Megan: He told me the day I tried burning the house down after finding out about Oanen.
I remembered that day. I’d been so sure that Fenris was into Megan that I’d called him to help snap her out of her freak out. And he had. He’d walked right into her blazing hot kitchen and hugged her. Worried about her being mad at me for keeping a secret, I hadn’t paid attention to him. But I remembered the shocked way she’d looked at me when he pulled back from her.
I didn’t doubt that he’d told her then that he’d been hugging her for a whiff of my scent. But I did doubt his motivation. Had it only been to distract her out of her panic or the truth? And if it had been the truth, what did it mean that he’d been struggling with an infatuation with me even back then?
Megan: Megan wants me to let you know her phone’s been confiscated, but she’s ready to be your snack pack any time you need her.
Me: I’m fine. Thanks for letting me know. And I appreciate her honesty. She didn’t meddle.
Vouching for her motivations was unlikely to make a difference in Oanen’s mind. At least, not right away. Understandably, Fenris was a closed topic with him. I wondered if Oanen knew Fenris’s motivations for all the Megan hugs, not that wanting a hug from me and hugging Megan in my place would endear Fenris to Oanen in any way.
I had so many questions and wasn’t sure who to ask. The last thing I wanted to do was create more tension between Megan and Oanen. There was only one other person who might be able to give me some insight, but I hesitated to ask for Jenna’s help again after sending her to the caves on my behalf.
My phone rang, and I saw Mom’s name on the screen.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Morning, baby. Do you need a ride or is Megan or Mrs. Quill coming back for you?”
I glanced around the room in confusion.
“Are you watching me?”
“The alarms went off and alerted me when you and Mrs. Quill entered. The cameras are a precaution to keep the patrons safe. I wasn’t intentionally spying, only checking to see who was entering our hunting grounds uninvited. As soon as I realized it was you, well, I worried. You looked upset, and Mrs. Quill left so quickly.”
“This morning’s been a bit rough. Fenris showed up at the Quills’, and I think I startled Mrs. Quill with my reaction. I’m sorry I tripped the alarms. I couldn’t think of anywhere else to hide.”
“Club Blayz is as much yours as it is mine, and you’re welcome to meet up with Megan to feed any time.”
I cringed.
“And you know you can come here any time, day or night, too, right?” she added.
“I know. I just didn’t want to wake you. It’s crazy early.”
Mom chuckled.
“It is. Fenris needs to learn that we’re night people, like his kind tend to be. Would you like me to send your father to pick you up?”
“That’d be great. Could I stay at your house today? And maybe I could invite Jenna over?”
“Of course. I saw how much you enjoyed Jenna’s company on our shopping trip. Girl time might be just what you need. You should invite Megan, too.”
“I’m pretty sure that Oanen has other plans for Megan.”
Mom’s throaty chuckle made me regret my words.
“I bet he does. You
r father will be there for you in a few minutes.”
After I hung up, I sent a text to Jenna.
Me: Any chance you’d have time to hang out today? I promise I won’t ask for a repeat of yesterday.
Jenna: I didn’t mind yesterday at all. And I would do anything for some time away from the pack. Just say where and when.
Me: My parent’s house. Whenever?
Jenna: I’ll be there within the hour.
It didn’t take long for Dad to knock on the Mantirum entrance. He took one look at my sweats and the long-sleeve shirt I’d dug out of my bag and took his coat off to wrap me in its warmth as I stepped outside.
“Do you want me to carry you?” he asked, looking at my bare feet.
I flushed, wishing I’d been smart enough to pack spare shoes.
“No. I’ll be fine.” Even as I said it, I shivered. The falling snow didn’t make the short trek to the car any easier. Dad hurried to open the door for me then surprised me by leaning in and grabbing my feet.
“Too cold, Eliana,” he said before closing me in and hurrying around to his seat. “Your mom can walk out barefoot in the snow, and it doesn’t faze her. Her feet don’t even get cold. After you let us know how you felt, she explained all the differences between humans and succubus. How she’s able to stay warm as a result of regular feedings. You need to eat, Eliana.”
I couldn’t stop myself from making a disrespectful noise and quickly apologized as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“No, I deserved that and your doubt. My views of right and wrong were uninformed and misguided. I’ve done so much damage to both our lives because I was unable to see the truth. But I swear to you, Eliana, I never meant for you to hurt yourself. Please believe that.”
“I know you, Dad.” I’d always known he’d loved me. But when it came down to it, I also knew that if I had to choose between going hungry and premarital sex, he would have me choose to go hungry, just as I had been doing.
My phone buzzed with a new message.
Fenris: Mrs. Quill went upstairs forty minutes ago. She just came from the kitchen with a cup of coffee and seemed surprised I was still waiting. She admitted you were here but weren’t anymore. She said I should leave you alone for the day.
Barely suppressing a sigh, I tucked my phone away. If only it were as easy to put Fenris from my mind.
As soon as Dad and I arrived home, he told me to wait in the car and went inside for shoes. He came out with fluffy, pink house slippers.
“These were the warmest I could find,” he said, opening the door for me.
“They’re perfect. Thank you.”
Bundled and feet covered, I hurried inside and spotted Mom sipping her hot chocolate at the kitchen table. I could see the dark circles under her eyes.
“I’m so sorry for waking you up. Why don’t you go back to bed?”
“What time is Jenna coming over?”
“She said within the hour, but I can watch for her so she doesn’t ring the bell. We’ll be quiet.”
Mom smiled at me and rose gracefully.
“Thank you, baby. I thought I’d be fine, but your sibling is being a little disagreeable at the moment. More sleep should help. Our house is your house.”
“Actually, I wanted to ask you about that. What happened to the people who were here?”
“Your mother bought the house from them,” Dad answered with a smile.
“Bought at a fair price or at a bargain because you seduced the owner?” I asked Mom. Even though I’d kept my tone respectful, Dad still bristled.
“Eliana, apologize to your mother.”
“Why should she? She knows I’m more likely to do the latter than the former. How do you think I was able to afford this at a reasonably fair price, darling?”
Dad considered Mom for a long moment, paling slightly before nodding.
“Right. The true power of persuasion. A succubus’s seduction.”
Mom rewarded his accurate answer with a wide smile.
“Will you lie with me, Jason?”
“Please, no sex,” I said as he joined her. “I don’t begrudge you your food, but it’s not something I ever want to sense or consume.”
“I completely understand, baby,” Mom said. “We’ll behave.”
I grabbed my bag and hurried to the spare bathroom to change into real clothes. My phone buzzed as I finished.
Fenris: We both know that me leaving you alone isn’t going to happen, right? If I was close once, I bet I can do it again. You ready, rabbit?
Shaking my head, I repacked what I’d worn to bed then returned to the living room. I peeked out through the curtain and briefly wondered if I should warn Jenna not to use the pack car. It would stick out like a red beacon in the snow-covered driveway.
The phone vibrated in my hand again.
Fenris: Did you know that I can see that you’re reading my messages? Good thing I’m comfortable with uncomfortable silences. See you soon.
Not if I could help it.
Staying by the window, I paced and kept an eye out for Jenna. When I finally spotted her in wolf form, I hurried to the door. She was faster than I was, though. Before I could tell her to come inside to change, she was already naked on the front step and shaking out her bundle of clothes.
“Come inside when you’re done,” I said softly before turning away.
She entered a moment later, barefoot and wearing a summer dress.
“Sorry about that,” she said.
“No, it’s okay.” I carefully closed the door. “My parents are sleeping. Mom’s room is probably sound-proofed, but just in case, I was trying to make sure you didn’t ring the doorbell.”
“Is it okay that I’m here?”
“Absolutely.” I led the way to the couch and motioned for her to join me. “Did your mom have any problem with you coming over?”
“She probably doesn’t even know I’m gone. The villages are a madhouse right now.”
“Why?”
“Half the pack is looking for Fenris, and the other half is preparing for a huge mate run on Saturday.”
“Wait. Isn’t a mate run when one wolf scents its mate?”
“Yes. But when you get enough unmated wolves together for a run, it’ll turn into a mate run for some of them. That’s what this Saturday is. According to Mom, Raiden’s been calling all the packs in North and South America. Even some in Europe.”
She blew out a breath.
“You have no idea how much I wish yesterday’s kiss would have worked for my sake and for Fenris’s. I feel so bad for him.”
“Raiden’s doing the run because of Fenris?”
“He sees that Fenris is obsessing over you and thinks finding his mate will break that. Raiden has people watching the Quills’ place, your mom’s house, the Blayz…pretty much anywhere Fenris might show up.”
“He was at the Quills’ this morning.”
“Yeah, Raiden was hot about that. I guess Conall didn’t see Fenris until he walked out the front door.” She grinned at me. “They’ve underestimated his abilities for years. No one can hide like Fenris.”
“Sounds like it. I take it that trying to bait him in with that screenshot of our call didn’t work either?”
“Oh, it worked. He woke me up last night. Not exactly how I imagined his first appearance in my bedroom.”
“He was in your room? What did he say?”
“He wanted to know where you were and what you were planning.”
“And what did you say?”
“The truth. That I didn’t know where you were but you were worried about him. I explained how he’s under your influence and that he needs time away from you to break it. He laughed, licked my nose, and told me to stop listening to your nonsense. Then, he asked me to give him a thirty-second head start before telling my parents he was there.” She shrugged. “I gave him forty.”
I sighed. “He’s treating this like it’s some big game. Has he always been this way?”
Jenna shook her head. “No. I remember a time when he was a strict rule follower. But he went through a phase where he was withdrawn and moody. Then, after that, he was the Fenris we know today. Playful. Fun. Flirty.”
“And a troublemaker.”
Jenna grinned.
“Yeah, that too.”
I considered what she’d revealed alongside what Megan revealed.
“Was he a hugger before he went through his moody phase?”
Jenna snorted. “He’s not a hugger now. You and Megan are the only ones I’ve ever seen him hug. Except for that one time with Oanen.”
“How long ago was that phase?”
Jenna shrugged again. “I didn’t really notice then. I was still young enough that I wasn’t paying attention to the boys. Four years ago? Maybe five?”
A sinking feeling settled into my stomach. Rather than asking Jenna to confirm if Fenris’s phase coincided with my arrival, I changed subjects.
“Are you nervous about the run on Saturday?”
“Yes and no. I think I’m just ready to be done, you know?”
I nodded, understanding completely and wishing there was a way for me to fast-track through this phase of my life as well.
“If I’m lucky, some guy with a sexy accent will take one look at me and howl. At least I’ll get to travel then.”
“You never know, he might be thinking the same thing and want to settle here to soak up some foreign culture.”
She grinned at the same time her stomach growled.
“Come on,” I said. “Let’s raid the fridge. I bet we can find something chocolatey that’s on the Council’s disavowed foods list.”
We talked about the unmated in the pack and the varying degrees of excitement and aversion in the other girls as we sat at the table and ate the death by chocolate cake I’d found.
“Cally’s eleven. Technically, she’s too young to run. But she’s had her first period and begged her mom, who said no. I mean, can you imagine having a kid at eleven? ‘Cause that would be what happened if she found her mate now. The determined little trickster went to Raiden, though, and he actually said yes.” Jenna shook her head. “I hope for Cally’s sake that her mate isn’t present or that if he is, the mate run doesn’t kick in. She’s too young.”