Rearview Mirror

by B L Clark

  “So, did you reach Jill?” Nicole asked.

  “Yeah, she said she’d be over in about five minutes,” Heather said, then there was a knock at the door. Erik answered it and ushered Jill in to join the others. Jill gave Zach an inquisitive look.

  Amber came out of the bathroom and stopped as she entered the room. There was Jill wearing what looked like a sheriff’s or deputy’s uniform. Amber took a deep breath and slowly moved to join the group. Nicole’s gaze flashed over to her, and Jill turned to see what Nicole was looking at.

  Jill stood there staring at the blonde who had just entered the room. She looked familiar, but Jill couldn’t place why. As she continued to look at the woman, their gazes met, then Jill’s eyes went wide. She knew in that instant who this was. Everyone had been silent, watching as realization dawned for Jill.

  Amber swallowed hard as Jill studied her. She looked past Jill to Nicole and then Zach. Nicole got up and moved toward Amber at the same time Jill did. Jill reached her first. The room was stunned when they heard the slap and saw Amber’s head jerk to one side. Zach was the first to get to Amber. He knew he needed to protect his friend. He moved between Jill and Amber, his back to Jill. He pulled Amber into his arms and held her. Nicole was right there by Amber’s side, and she glared at Jill.

  “What the hell was that for?” Nicole asked, her anger coming through in her voice.

  “That? That was for the hell she put us all through. That was for the pain she caused you. She’s lucky to have only gotten a slap,” Jill spat out.

  “You were out of line, Jill,” Heather snapped.

  “Am I the only one that remembers what the last ten years have been like? What Nicole went through?”

  “No, but it wasn’t your place,” Nicole said as Zach pulled back from Amber and allowed Nicole an opportunity to see her.

  “Who the hell is this anyway?” Jill pointed at Zach.

  “He’s my friend and support,” Amber said.

  “Are you okay?” Nicole asked.

  “I’ll be fine. I endured worse living in my house for years. It just surprised me.” Amber looked hard and cold at Jill before softening and moving to Nicole.

  “Well, that went well.” Erik let out an exasperated sigh as he sat in one of the chairs.

  “So, you’re back? For how long?” Jill asked, glaring at Amber.

  “I’m here for a few days and then I have to get back to New York,” Amber said flatly.

  “Well, in my opinion, it can’t be soon enough.”

  “Amber, who the hell is this?” Zach asked.

  “This is Jill, my sister,” Heather said coldly.

  “Jill, you don’t know what’s been going on here,” Nicole said, concerned that Jill was going to ruin her chance to talk with or at least spend time with Amber.

  “I don’t care to know, either. She hurt you. No, she crushed you. There’s no excuse for that,” Jill snapped. “So, Amber, enlighten me as to why you left, why you couldn’t say goodbye or even make contact.”

  “Jill, stop,” Nicole said. Erik noticed a quiver in Nicole’s voice and rushed over to stabilize her.

  “Jill, she’s already had an episode today, back off,” Heather said through gritted teeth.

  “I’m guessing it was no thanks to blondie over there.”

  “Jill, hate me, whatever, but stop upsetting Nicole.” Amber moved over to stand next to Nicole.

  “What do you honestly care? You abandoned her. You just up and disappeared for ten years.”

  “Yes, I left after getting beaten by my brother and father. I left because there was no way I could take another beating, and there was no way I could hide what they had done to me that night.” Amber moved within inches of Jill, her voice cold as steel. “Do you want to know the full extent of what happened? Every detail? Will that make you happy?”

  “Yes, it will help,” Jill said coldly.

  “Fine, but, Zach, Nicole, will you both please leave? Heather, Erik, I’d prefer you to leave, too, but it’s your choice.” Amber’s gaze was still locked on Jill’s.

  “I’m not leaving,” Nicole said directly.

  “I’m sorry, Amber, but I’m with Nicole. I’m not going anywhere,” Zach said.

  Amber turned to face them both. “Please, I don’t know that I can handle either of you hearing this. Knowing these details,” Amber pleaded, her eyes filling with tears.

  “Please, let us stay. Nicole and I just want to be here for you.” Zach took Amber’s hand, and Nicole nodded her agreement. “And frankly, I don’t trust Jill.”

  “Fine,” Amber said in defeat, turning back to face Jill.

  “So, please, tell me what happened. Enlighten me as to why you had to leave as you did. Why was it acceptable to crush the woman you supposedly loved?”

  “I can’t be here for this. Not after knowing what happened to your mom,” Erik said as he headed for the door. “Nicole, call me later.”

  “Heather?” Jill asked.

  “I’m staying,” she said, glaring at Jill.

  “Usually, my dad and brother hit me where the bruises wouldn’t be seen or noticed,” Amber started. “That night, something snapped in them both. They were ruthless in their punches. Jeffrey aimed for my legs, my dad liked to hit in the middle area. That night, though, they didn’t seem to care where the punches and belt landed.”

  “Belt,” Nicole whispered. Zach moved over and tentatively put his arm around her, helping her to a chair. He sat next to Nicole, and she took his hand in hers.

  Amber couldn’t look at either of them. She kept her gaze locked on Jill. Pulling up her shirt, she showed Jill four puncture wounds on her left side. “Those marks, the belt buckles they were using, went in, and two of the four almost punctured part of my left kidney. I had four broken ribs. One was so bad that had I moved wrong, I would have punctured my lung. My right kidney was severely bruised. My left forearm was fractured, I have scars on my legs from Jeffrey beating me with the belt. I was knocked down the stairs, you remember the steep ones going to the lower level. I have a three-inch scar on the back of my head from hitting the wall, and last but certainly not least, I had a severe concussion.”

  Jill was looking at Amber, her eyes filling with tears, she couldn’t breathe. Nicole and Heather were crying. Zach was trying to remain strong, but he couldn’t help but cry, as well. He knew that when he met Amber something had happened, but she had played it off as a car accident.

  “Do you want to feel the scars? Do you want to feel where the ribs were broken, and not for the first time and therefore didn’t heal properly? What do you want, Jill? Please, now you enlighten me. Tell me what it’ll take to make you understand. I have pictures. Do you want me to send you the pictures?” Amber asked coldly.

  Jill opened and closed her mouth. She had no words, no idea what to say, what to do. She looked past Amber and saw Nicole being comforted by Zach and Heather. She then looked back at Amber.

  “Zach thought I was in a car accident. He helped me as I healed. The nightmares I had because of that night, he helped me through. When I couldn’t leave the house because I was afraid my father or brother would find me, he sneaked me out to work. He barely left my side when I needed someone for the first several months we knew each other. Without him, I would probably not still be here because of the depression. So, you wanted to know why I left the way I did and haven’t had any contact for ten years. Does that give you some enlightenment?”

  “You could have come to us,” Jill whispered, unable to find her full voice.

  “No, because my father and Jeffrey both knew all about everyone I hung out with, and they threatened to hurt you if I said a word. They weren’t really known for lying about those types of threats.” Amber pulled her shirt back down and stared at the ground.

  “Amber,” Nicole said, her voice raspy and shaking. This caused Amber to turn around and walk over and sit on the table in front of Nicole. “Why did you lie earlier? Why didn’t you tell us how bad it was?
”

  “Because I knew you had been hurt enough. I didn’t want you to know the truth,” Amber said, softly wiping away the tears streaming down Nicole’s face.

  “Amber, why didn’t you ever tell me?” Zach said.

  “Because I didn’t want you to think less of me or to be my friend out of pity.” She looked down, unable to meet his or Nicole’s gaze.

  “Seriously?” Nicole lifted Amber’s chin. “We all love you…well, I don’t know about Jill, but Heather, Erik, Zach, and I, we love you and would never pity you.”

  “I’m so sorry, Amber,” Jill finally said. “I don’t know how you survived all that.”

  “I didn’t have a choice. I got used to it. I had been beaten by them since I was four,” Amber admitted, and then groaned at what she had just revealed and the gasps that had echoed through the room.

  Chapter Four

  Processing

  The room was eerily silent as the group processed Amber’s revelation. Amber spent her time in the awkward silence staring at the ground, unable to meet anyone’s gaze. She was ashamed of what she had just revealed. Ashamed of what had happened to her. She could feel their gazes on her. After several minutes of silence, Amber abruptly stood and announced that she needed to get some air. When Nicole and Zach offered to go with her, she told them she needed to be alone, she needed time to process things, as well. She promised to be back before it was dark, and she grabbed her cellphone and headed out the door.

  After Amber left the room, everyone looked at one another. Zach felt the most awkward since he had no clue who these people were outside of what Amber had told him. The others were simply in shock.

  “Did any of you have any idea or suspect anything about Amber’s past?” Heather looked between Jill and Nicole.

  “In the ten years I’ve known her, she has told me about you all and that she was in a car accident. I don’t even know what to say after what she revealed today,” Zach said, his mind spinning.

  “Jill, we’ve known Amber since kindergarten. How could we have not known that they were hurting her?” Nicole tried to hold back the tears, her heart breaking for the woman she loved so much.

  “As she said, they hit her where the bruises wouldn’t show.” Jill replayed their childhood to see if there were signs they missed.

  “She always claimed to be clumsy,” Heather said quietly as another tear slid down her cheek.

  “Um, Jill, not to add to this upsetting situation, but are any of Amber’s family members around? Or people that could see and hurt her while she’s out there alone and distracted?” Zach asked.

  “Her dad is in prison for life, and her brother, damn it, I think he got out a week or two ago,” Jill said. “I think I should follow her and make sure she isn’t alone and that she’s safe.”

  “Why do you have to do it?” Heather said.

  “Hello, the little badge with the title sheriff.” Jill pointed to the badge on her shirt.

  “I’m going with you.” Nicole stood.

  “No, you’re staying put. All we need is for Jeffrey Knight to see either you or Amber and it’ll be all over.”

  “May I come with you?” Zach asked.

  “No, you three please stay here and wait for us. I think I owe Amber some privacy and apologies.”

  “Fine,” the three said as they sat in defeat as they were all lost in their own thoughts.

  Jill grabbed her coat and headed downstairs. When she reached the lobby, she saw Sidney at the desk.

  “Hey, Sid.” Jill walked up to the desk.

  “Hi, Jill. How are you today?”

  “I’ve had better days. Did you happen to see Amber leave?”

  “Yeah, she seemed really out of it. I tried to talk to her, but it was like she was in a fog. She didn’t even acknowledge that I was talking to her.”

  “She’s had a rough day, and I made it harder on her. I really want to talk to her and apologize. Do you know which way she went?”

  “Um, she looked to be headed to the town square,” Sidney said, concern etched in her voice.

  “Great, thank you.” Jill rushed out of the building and headed toward the town square.

  Amber took the elevator to the lobby and walked out, not noticing that Sidney was talking to her. She needed to get out of there, get some air, to be able to breathe.

  Nice job there, Amber. You revealed all your well-kept secrets. Now every time they look at you, it will be with pity for what you endured. Pity for what your father and brother put you through. Why did Nicole and Zach have to stay? That makes this whole thing even worse. What are you going to do? How are you ever going to face them again? And why does Nicole still have to look so damn amazing? You have all these scars, and she’s still a flawless beauty. She’ll never want you. Why would she? What could you offer her? You screwed up with her by trying to protect her. I bet now that you’re here, she’ll have closure and will never want to see you again.

  Amber’s mind had become a bit unstable since that night all those years ago that she left home. The night she left everyone she loved and everyone she hated behind. The doctors and therapists she had seen over the years had told her it was post-traumatic stress disorder from what she endured. This was one of the reasons she had never dated after leaving Nicole. That and she loved the woman to this day, and it wouldn’t be fair to lead someone to believe she could have her heart. Amber knew she would never subject Nicole to whatever was wrong inside her mind.

  Amber neared the town square. She was in awe of its beauty. There were four small white gazebos placed at each corner and one large white one in the center. The pathways connecting the gazebos were lined with flowers and outdoor lights. It was nice to see that the town cared about its appearance.

  Moving into the square, Amber spotted a bench that was empty and out of the way, hidden by some trees. She made her way over to the bench and sat. She was able to see the full square from there. As she scanned the square, she saw two familiar faces, one she wasn’t surprised to see. Jill had followed her. In the back of her mind, she had expected someone to follow her, to come talk to her. The second face, that one disturbed her, and sent an ice-cold chill down her spine. Standing not forty feet from her was her tormentor, the star of her nightmares—her brother, Jeffrey. Amber watched him, saw him scanning the area and the people. She suspected it was to find someone to rob; he had that look about him. As she watched him, Jill came and sat next to her.

  “You know, if you keep staring at him, he’s going to notice you,” Jill said nonchalantly.

  “I can’t help but stare. His face has haunted me for so many years. Years growing up, years as an adult. He and my father robbed me of so much.”

  “I wish we would have known. I know they threatened our safety, but I still wish we would have known.”

  “How did you know where to find me? Or did you follow me out the door?” Amber still watched Jeffrey out of the corner of her eye.

  “Zach asked if Jeffrey or your father were out and if you would run the risk of running into them. He’s a pretty smart guy. I realized Jeffrey was let out of jail a couple of weeks ago, so I decided I would follow you or just walk next to you as protection, and I wanted to talk with you alone. When I got downstairs, Sidney told me what direction you went in. I guessed that you were in Zombieland, and you would probably end up here.”

  “I think Sidney was trying to talk to me as I left,” Amber said with a small laugh.

  “She seems to have taken an interest in you. And yes, she was trying to talk to you. She better watch it, though. I don’t believe she’s the only person that has taken an interest in you,” Jill said with a smile.

  “Zach and I are just friends. He dates women, so do I. It wouldn’t work between us.”

  “He wasn’t who I was referring to, but yeah, I can see he cares very deeply for you.”

  “Then who were you talking about?”

  “Duh, Nicole.”

  “That wasn’t interest you saw from h
er, that was pity. I hurt her so badly, I don’t deserve the time of day from her.”

  “And yet here you are. What made you come back here anyway?”

  “I’ve been given the opportunity to have several pieces of artwork and photographs shown in an art show, but for me to show the photographs, I need to get release forms signed by Heather, Erik, and Nicole. I knew if I mailed them that they would just toss them, so I came here to beg and plead with them in person. I wasn’t sure I was going to find anyone still here, but I knew I had to try.”

  “Congratulations,” Jill said. “How many pieces are you showing?”

  “I have four paintings and four photographs. The photograph of Nicole is Lucinda’s favorite.”

  “Who’s Lucinda?” Jill raised an eyebrow.

  “Sorry, she’s the curator of the gallery Zach and I work with, and she’s the one sponsoring me in the showing.”

  “Wow, a gallery curator sponsoring you, not too shabby.” Jill laughed. “Listen, I want to say I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have slapped you.”

  “I deserved it. I didn’t expect it from you, but I deserved it.” Amber could still feel a slight burn on her cheek.

  “No, you didn’t. I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, though.”

  “So, how long have you been the sheriff?”

  “About three years. After what went on with your mom and Nicole, I wanted to make a difference and keep scum from hurting innocent people.”

  “That’s awesome. I’m certain you’ll help a lot of people.”

  Jeffrey moved closer to where Jill and Amber were sitting. Jill noticed and hoped he would see her uniform and leave. Amber was looking at the ground when Jeffrey looked over and saw Jill watching him. He knew if he got caught again, he was facing the three-strikes law and he was going to jail for life. He wasn’t willing to let that happen over some petty theft. Jeffrey quickly left the square.

  “She never stopped loving you,” Jill said, turning to face Amber.

  “I never stopped loving her,” Amber admitted, looking at her hands in her lap.