by B L Clark
“What do you mean it has to deal with stuff as a kid?” Nicole turned to Amber. “Baby, I know you hid a lot from us, but nobody blames you.”
“It isn’t that you blame me. It’s more of what I had to do to hide my pain or hide my feelings, and I can’t do that now. It’s causing me to feel like I’m going to show too much, and you’re going to want to leave…or more importantly, you’re going to realize how truly messed up I am.”
“Nicole, yesterday, Amber and I talked about triggers and how there are going to be triggers that the two of you have and will have for the remainder of your life. Yes, you will overcome some of them and learn how to deal with them, but it will always be a possibility that they could bring up fears and other issues. I wanted you here so Amber could explain one that she’s having right now and so you’ll know it in the future and be able to be there for her and to help support her.”
“Of course I want to be able to do that for her. Amber, I love you, and I want to do whatever I can to help you.”
“I get that, I do.” Amber took Nicole’s hand in her own. “I just don’t want to be a burden or for you to feel like you have to be here to take care of me.”
“Baby, you are never a burden.”
“Okay, I can see this is going to go ’round and ’round. Let me just stop it here,” Dr. Dyer interjected. “Amber, why is it that you feel like you would be a burden to Nicole?”
“Because that’s what I was told my whole life. My issues and problems were to be solely mine, and I was not to burden others with them because I wasn’t worth the attention and care that would result from telling someone what my problems were.”
“Amber, that was your stupid dad or brother talking. That wasn’t someone who truly cared about you,” Nicole said softly.
“But it’s all I know, sweetie. When I was growing up, I had to be really creative in hiding the bruises and marks that they left or to hide the fear when I was around you and the others.”
“What did you do?”
“There was the obvious wearing long pants or long-sleeved shirts when they were bad. Sometimes covering the bruises with makeup. There were times I would tell you and the others that I was grounded or not feeling well, and I would go and hide out at Old Miller’s Pond or the back field of one of the nearby farms. Even the forest of trees at the edge of town became a survival place. When I was really scared, there was an old tree I would hide in. It was mostly hollowed out, so I would sleep in there and then stay up all night standing guard so to speak when I finally returned home to do my chores.”
“I wish you would have come to my house. You know my parents were gone a lot of the time, so we could have kept you safe there.”
“I know, but then you would have known what was going on, and I was so ashamed of the person they said I was. I spent years wondering what it was that made you guys want to be my friend, let alone why you would love me.”
“You have no idea the amazing woman you are, do you?” Nicole asked, receiving a head shake from Amber. “Amber, after everything you went through, you still always had the most incredible heart of any of us. You used to make us all feel so inadequate with the care and compassion you showed people. Like that semester we had to work at the senior living facility. You realize you were the only one who got above a C in the class, right?”
“I was?”
“Yeah. You were the only one that was asked to come back after the semester. It had nothing to do with extra credit or a damn special project. You made those old farts feel loved and special. Then there were the times you stuck up for Heather when her mouth got her in trouble.”
“She was just like Jill when it came to that.” Amber laughed.
“Now, think about all you lived through, Amber,” Dr. Dyer said. “You went through your own personal hell, and you still accomplished this level of care? You’re a freaking saint.”
“Um, she can’t be because I know other stuff she has done.” Nicole blushed.
“Oh, really?” Dr. Dyer raised an eyebrow.
“Do you remember the first time we made love when my parents were home?” Nicole asked.
“Oh, god.” Amber blushed. “Yes…”
“Nicole, you’re cheating,” Amber said as Nicole unplugged the controller she was using from the console.
“Nuh-uh. I’m just trying to get a fair advantage here. How are you so good at Tetris anyway?”
“I’m good at looking at shapes,” Amber said coyly.
Nicole paused the game and set their controllers down before pushing Amber onto her back on the pile of pillows they were sitting on.
“I’ll give you a shape to play with,” Nicole said lustfully.
Amber pulled Nicole on top of her and kissed her soundly while her hips ground into Nicole’s hips and her hands ran down her backside. They stayed like this for several minutes before Amber started to remove Nicole’s clothes.
“Oh, god, Amber. I want you.”
“Mmm, I want you, too. We have to be quiet, though. I don’t want your parents coming down here,” Amber said as she removed the last of Nicole’s clothing and quickly removed her own.
The two were lying naked on the pillows, their bodies pressed together, moving with need, desire, and raw lust. They hadn’t been together many times, but they had learned each other’s body in their marathon sessions.
“Nicole?” Sharon Brooks called from the top of the stairs.
“Oh, fuck,” Nicole whispered before Amber stilled her hips, allowing Nicole to answer her mother. “Um, yeah, Mom.”
“Are you two girls playing nice down there? Do I need to come down and talk to you both about fair play?”
Nicole and Amber’s eyes went wide at the idea of Mrs. Brooks coming down at that moment. They were naked, and Nicole wasn’t sure how she would explain it to her prude of a mother.
“We were just goofing around. Amber was showing me a couple of new moves, and I decided to try them in the game we’re playing.”
“Well, keep it down. Your father and I are trying to watch a movie directly above you.”
Amber let out a low frustrated groan. Talk about being clit-blocked. Hearing Sharon say they were right above them was both arousing and mood killing.
“We promise,” Nicole called back, then they heard the door to the basement close and Sharon’s footsteps move from the door to the sofa.
“Oh, Nicole…” Amber moaned as their hips moved together again. Their lips pressed together to swallow the other’s cries of need and desire as they came together.
After, they lay there holding each other for several minutes before getting dressed and cuddling on the pillows again.
“Your mother almost has Jill timing.” Amber giggled. “Another couple of minutes, and I would have had you screaming your responses.”
“I know. I can’t believe we just made love with my parents directly above us.”
“Keep talking like that, and it won’t ever happen again,” Amber said with an arched eyebrow.
“That looked like a good memory you two just shared. You’re both beet red,” Dr. Dyer said. “I’m certain it’s best that I don’t hear about it.”
“Yeah, like that’s the worst dalliance we ever had and the one that should have you the most shocked,” Amber said before she could stop herself.
“Amber,” Nicole exclaimed, before covering Amber’s mouth with her hand. “Shush you.”
“Oh, look at the time, I believe our session is over,” Amber said sheepishly.
“Yeah, that’s my line, horndog,” Dr. Dyer teased.
“Oh, you have no clue, but Nicole is the horndog, I’m the prude,” Amber laughed as Nicole just opened and closed her mouth several times, unable to respond.
“And…that crushed a lot of images I have of you.”
“She’s not nearly as innocent as she comes across. Trust me, Doc,” Nicole said jokingly.
Nicole and Amber made another appointment for the next week before the art show an
d then headed home. Dr. Dyer sat there going over the revelations that had come out that night and shook her head. The more she learned about Nicole and Amber, the more complex she realized they both were.
Chapter Twenty-six
Learning New Things
“Amber?”
“Yeah?” Amber smiled at Nicole, who was working at her desk as Amber was making dinner.
“Why didn’t you ever come over to my house when you were scared?”
“I wondered if you were going to bring that up.”
“I just…you knew my parents were rarely around. I’d have given you your space,” Nicole said, leaning back in her chair as Amber came over and sat on her lap.
“I’ve already explained that my father and brother threatened you guys. If I would have come over, you would have known. I had a hard time going through that stuff with Dr. Dyer when I first started seeing her. I used to get great nightmares on what would have happened. Then she started to help me get past them. I actually even stopped seeing her for a while, but when I started having nightmares and dreams more frequently again, I went back to see her, and I’ve continued to see her professionally ever since.”
“How long did you go between professionally seeing her?” Nicole asked, concerned to learn that Amber had stopped seeing Dr. Dyer at one point but had to go back.
“There were only like three months between the professional sessions.”
“Do you know what brought on the need to go back?”
“I was almost mugged,” Amber said so softly that she could barely be heard.
“I’m sorry? Can you repeat that?” Nicole lifted Amber’s head so they were staring into each other’s eyes.
“I was almost mugged one day leaving work. It scared me enough to bring the horrors of my past back. I know what you’re thinking. New York City is no more dangerous than being back in Eagle Peak or any other town in the U.S. People get mugged and robbed everywhere. I wasn’t going to let it scare me out of here. I really love it here.”
“That wasn’t what I was thinking at all. I was thinking, ‘what the hell did you do?’”
“Oh.”
“My second thought was the danger one.” Nicole smiled at Amber, easing her fears.
“What did I do? Well, I may have taken a few self-defense classes at Dr. Dyer’s urging to help with my self-confidence, and it helped me protect myself.”
“What type of self-defense classes?”
“Krav Maga and kickboxing,” Amber said sheepishly.
“Amber! You’re telling me that you’re this badass self-defense person now?”
“No, but it really helped with my confidence. Or I thought it had until the whole Jeffrey thing happened. I was so scared that I couldn’t remember any of my training.”
“It’s okay, he traumatized you as a kid. I bet that would cause anyone’s fight or flight response to be skewed. Enough about him, back to you being all badass and stuff.”
“I loved the kickboxing. Zach thought I had a little too much fun with it.”
“Do you still do it? Kickboxing, that is?”
“I haven’t since I got back from Eagle Peak, but before then, I did it almost daily.”
“Did you stop because of me? I don’t want to be the reason you stop something you enjoy. Baby, please don’t let me be the reason. You need to do things that make you happy. If it’s because I’m here, I’ll leave or whatever you need. I would—” Nicole babbled before Amber pressed their lips together to stop it.
“You are, but you aren’t,” Amber said as Nicole’s face fell. “Nic, I did it to stay in shape. Since you’ve been here…I’ve had other ways to get my blood pumping and to work up a sweat.”
“You have? What do you…oh.” Nicole blushed, realizing what Amber meant.
“Yeah. See, prior to you coming here, I didn’t have a sex life, so I needed to find a way to release some pent-up energy. I, however, prefer our way.” Amber kissed Nicole. “I would like to take you to the gym with me some time. That is, if you’re willing to go with me.”
“Baby, I’d love to. I think I’ll probably watch you, though. You know me and coordination, not so good friends and all.”
“Kickboxing could help with that. What do you say tomorrow night after work we go to the gym and I show you some of what I’ve learned? I also think it may help with the nervous energy I have for the art show.”
“You’re getting nervous? Why?”
“What if people don’t like my work? What if I let you, Zach, and Lucinda down? Plus, I’m rather let down that Heather, Jill, and Erik won’t be here. I guess I wanted to show them what my life is like here…that I’m not the same person I was when we were kids.”
“Amber, first of all, your work is amazing. I can only speak for myself, but I’m certain Lucinda and Zach would agree with me that you could never let us down. You doing this show is incredible. And as far as the gang goes…fuck ’em. I love them all dearly, but if they aren’t willing to come here, then fuck ’em. We could all tell you weren’t the same person when you came to town. Being here the past five weeks, I’ve seen the amazing person you’ve become and the life you’ve built for yourself. I’m honored that you’ve let me be a part of it. For the first couple of weeks, I’ll admit that I thought you were going to get sick of me and send me home.”
“Nic, I never want you to leave. I want you to move in here with me. I know that’s basically what you’ve done, but I’ve tried to think of a way to tell you that I don’t want you to go back. I want you to stay here with me. I just don’t know the words or when to tell you or even if you’d want to…”
“You goof.” Nicole laughed. “You just told me, and I’d love to live here with you. I have stuff I need to take care of with my house and work back home, but yeah, I could see staying here with you.”
Amber ran a finger along Nicole’s jawline and then leaned forward and kissed her.
“I love you,” Amber said into Nicole’s lips.
“I love you, too.” Nicole smiled into the kisses she was receiving.
The next night, Nicole and Amber headed to the gym near Amber’s place. They chose to walk the two blocks since it was a nice night. Amber signed them in, and they made their way into the locker room and changed.
“Ready?” Amber asked as she and Nicole headed toward the gym doors.
“If I said no, could I stay in here and hide?” Nicole laughed nervously.
“No.” Amber laughed along, taking Nicole’s hand in her own, bringing it up to her lips and kissing her knuckles.
The two women exited the locker room, and Amber still held Nicole’s hand as she led her to a set of punching bags. There were a few women working out. One muscular woman with sandy-blond hair appeared to be instructing the other women.
“Hey, Amber,” one of the women said. Nicole didn’t see who spoke.
“Hey, Trina!”
“It’s been a while. How are you doing?”
“I’m great, fantastic, and awesome all rolled into one.”
“Uh-huh. I’m going to guess that your great, fantastic, awesome state has something to do with the attractive woman whose hand you’re holding,” Trina said with a smile as she walked over to stand near the two women.
“Yes, smartass. Trina, this is my girlfriend, Nicole. Nic, this is Trina. She’s the one that taught me kickboxing and Krav Maga.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Nicole shook her hand.
“It’s nice to meet you, too. So, I have to pry. How long have you been together? I’ve never seen you smile so serenely before,” Trina said, looking at Amber.
“Well, we’ve been back together about six or seven weeks,” Amber said proudly.
“Be honest. Technically, we’ve been together for twelve years.” Nicole smirked. She knew it was quirky, but she loved the idea that she and Amber had only dated each other. It allowed her in her own mind to say they had still been together, even though Amber was in New York. It also meant she had n
ever lost the love of her life for all those years.
“Six or seven weeks compared to twelve years?” Trina said. “I’m lost.”
“Nicole was my girlfriend before I moved here. We never officially broke up because I left in the middle of the night. And neither of us dated anyone else in the ten years we were apart,” Amber explained. “So, technically, we’ve been faithfully together for twelve years…but reacquainted with each other for about six or seven weeks.”
“Okay, that is just too damn sweet. That also explains why I haven’t seen you in several weeks.” Trina smirked, raising a knowing eyebrow. Trina had noticed while they were talking that Amber was favoring one arm. “What’d you do to your left arm?”
Amber had gotten the all-clear from the doctor earlier that day to stop wearing the sling and to gradually start working her way up to doing fine art and full-time painting at work. She had also been told to take it easy with regards to working out but to make sure she did the exercises she was given by the physical therapist.
“I…um…injured my shoulder,” Amber said hesitantly, sensing Nicole’s disapproval in her explanation.
“Try again.” Trina looked sternly. “Either that or I’ll ask Nicole, and from the look she’s giving you, I’ll get the real answer. You suck at lying.”
“Fine, I broke my collarbone and fractured my shoulder,” Amber admitted.
“And,” Nicole added.
“And I had surgery on my left side to remove a bullet and therefore cannot work out much. I just received the all-clear today to start doing more exercises, though,” Amber finished.
“Wow, now there’s a story that you’re going to tell me,” Trina said as she led Nicole and Amber away from the punching bags and to a small office.
Amber told Trina about what had happened with Jeffrey and her rehabilitation. Trina grabbed two books off a shelf behind the desk. After paging through and reading a couple of sections, she looked up and said she had just the exercises in mind that would help Amber regain her full range of motion and strength without the risk of injuring herself again.