Blood and Cupcakes

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Blood and Cupcakes Page 31

by Taj McCoy El


  The boss shook its Mayah-sized fist before it swung at her. She barely managed to dodge and slapped Spike (W) on its arm before it could pull it back. It yowled in pain, raising its left arm to be cradled in its right. She called on Whackablow or Crush-A-Vole, (I really need a better name for this), and slammed it into the top of the creature’s left knee. Its foot was forced out behind it, causing it to lose its balance. With its left arm held in its right it couldn’t stop its fall. It landed on its side and screeched. A high keening sound, like a thousand fingernails on chalkboard assaulted her brain. Spots flashed in her vision and a message flashed.

  You have been attacked by sonic wave.

  Can induce nausea, vertigo and temporary deafness.

  Attack 30% effective vertigo debuff

  The floor dropped away from her and the walls began to shift and swim in strange seas of perspective. She dropped to her knees with a hand on the floor. The only steady thing in her vision was the debuff timer. She looked back at Margaret through the funhouse mirror that the world had become. She was still hacking away at the gold imp with her sword. Grax was lying on his side trying miserably to stand and walk, while the two silver imps held the last gold imp at bay.

  “Margaret, dolls!!!”

  Margaret kept swinging at the imp with her short sword, dipping and dodging for all she was worth.

  “MARAGAREEEEET…DOLLS!!!!!!”

  A large hand grabbed her around her waist, lifting her up in the air. The world swam faster and rushed towards her, exploding into black stars as she was slammed into the ground. Half of her hit points were gone. She couldn’t see out of one eye. She cast Acid (D), blindly slapping it on to her captor as the hand tried to pick her up. Instead of slamming her into the ground, she was flung up into the air and smacked against a wall only to crash on the floor in a heap.

  Owww… I’m sure something’s broken.

  She heard a sizzling whoomph and saw the creature’s arm writhing with jagged shadows. It howled loudly as it threw its arm around in spasming pain. The Lightning attack petered out after five seconds or so.

  Two golden and two silver imps leapt onto the platinum imp and began beating on its chest and middle with all of their force. Arrows peppered its face and it soon fell to the ground where it was being stomped, clawed, and bitten.

  Mayah struggled to sit up as the world began returning to its normal perspective. Watching the scene before her she thought, we’re going to win this one.

  Margaret walked into her field of vision, fiercely eyeing her dolls at work. She spotted Mayah and ran to her.

  Margaret shouted, “Are you alright, dear?” She pushed Mayah up into a sitting position looked her in the eyes, running her hands over her.

  “Easy there. I think I sprained my body. I should be good in a few minutes.”

  “Whaa… I can’t hear you.” Margaret pointed to her ear. She had obviously been deafened.

  “Well that explains a lot.”

  “Whaaaa…?”

  Mayah mouthed the words, “never mind,” and returned to her pain.

  Ding!!!

  Raider Marks

  You are the first paladins to defeat the Imps of Avarice dungeon.

  You will be blessed with a raider mark. Raider marks are earned by being the first person or party to defeat any particular dungeon.

  500xp

  +0.03% Increased chance of finding Rare items in dungeons. Stackable. For every Raider Mark in party +0.03% is added.

  Ding!!!

  you have defeated the Imps of Avarice dungeon

  Personal totals

  1x (partial) Platinum imp

  1x (partial) Golden imp

  12xSilver imp

  8xCopper imp

  Party totals

  1x Platinum imp

  3xGolden imp

  62xSilver imp

  27xCopper imp

  350XP

  DING!!!!

  Shadow Eye Level 3

  You can see in the darkness as well as the light. Only the magical shadows of death can halt your vision. Range is limited to 30 feet. The first 15 feet will have 100% visibility. Visibility will drop by 10% every 1.5 feet thereafter. Range will expand in higher levels.

  DING!!!

  Crushing Blow Level 4

  Increased damage with weapons that deal in blunt trauma

  When activated uses 23% of available stamina. Randomly deals up to 500% of max damage and increases the chance of a critical hit by 8% for even more damage.

  Cost 23% of available stamina

  Cooldown N/A

  DING!!!!

  Level Up!!!

  Princess Cuddle Fluff

  Level 9

  0XP till next level

  DING!!!!

  Level Up!!!

  Princess Cuddle Fluff

  Level 10

  341XP till next level

  You have 20 unspent stat points and 40 unspent attribute points

  Your Party has found:

  Necklace of sonic disruption

  When activated can induce nausea, vertigo and temporary deafness.

  Range: Within earshot

  Mana cost: 150MP

  Cooldown: 10 minutes

  Margaret yelled, “I’m level 10!!!” She jumped around like a little kid.

  Mayah laughed and then winced at the pain in her ribcage. She looked at Grax who slowly walked over to them.

  “I stopped just short of 11. I can’t kill anything else or I’m a goner,” Grax complained.

  “Booooo… sucks to be so awesome,” Mayah said as she watched Margaret, who was still dancing, celebrating her levels.

  “No, it doesn’t, but I would hate to leave you losers behind. The big question is, do we cash out the big imp or let Margaret have it?” He sat down next to her, his tail curling around his feet.

  “We cash it out but we offer to let her buy it first. And we’re taking at least one of the gold imps too.”

  “Sounds about right.” He laid his head on his paws and closed his eyes.

  She resisted the temptation to pet him and looked at her character sheet.

  Name:

  Pretty Princess Cuddle Fluff

  Title(s):

  High Empress of the Pie Mountains)

  Enchanted Seamstress

  Enchanted Grenadier

  Race: Princess

  Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

  Level: 10XP:341/745

  HP:200 Regen: 0.51HP per minute

  Stats

  Strength:17 +10%Max lift: 110 lbs. +11

  Mana: 18Mana pool540MP

  Regen: 0.81MP per sec.

  Stamina: 29

  Depletion rate at max effort:

  0.39SP per sec.

  Regen: 1.31SP per min.

  20 unassigned stat points and 40 unassigned attribute points

  Attributes

  Constitution:5 +15%

  Endurance:5 +21%

  Intelligence: 2 +28%

  Agility:1 +17%

  Perception:1 +23%

  Presence:3 +17%

  Abilities

  Awareness Level: 5 (+13% to Perception)

  Iron will Level: 4 (+11% to Endurance +8% to Intelligence)

  Whack-A-Vole Level: 4

  Crushing Blow Level: 4

  Shadow Eye Level: 3

  Enchanted seamstress Level: 2

  Achilles Heel Level: 2 (+7% to Agility)

  Skinflint Level: 2 (+7% to Presence)

  Survivalist Level: 1 (+5% to Constitution)

  Adamant Level: 1 (+10% to all Attributes)

  Enchanted Grenadier Level 1

  Iron Will Level: 1

  Adamant Level: 1

  Wellspring Level: 1

  Enchanted Grenadier Level: 1

  Flesh of The Magii Level: 1

  Marathoner Level: 1 (Stat bonuses)

  Dynamo Level: 1 (Stat bonuses)

  Skills

  EnchantmentLevel: 5

  RuneLevel: 2

  Trades


  SewingLevel: 4

  HerbalistLevel: 1

  MinerLevel: 1

  BlacksmithingLevel: 1

  ArmorerLevel: 1

  CobblerLevel: 1

  BakerLevel: 1

  TailorLevel: 1

  GlazierLevel: 1

  EngravingLevel: 1

  WeavingLevel: 1

  FieldcraftLevel: 1

  TacticianLevel: 1

  FishingLevel: 1

  LoggingLevel: 1

  ArchitectLevel: 1

  JewelcrafterLevel: 1

  KnittingLevel: 1

  LeatherworkingLevel: 1

  AlchemyLevel: 1

  CalligrapherLevel: 1

  CartographerLevel: 1

  HunterLevel: 1

  CarpentryLevel: 1

  StonemasonLevel: 1

  MechanicLevel: 1

  Painter Level: 1

  TraderLevel: 1

  LocksmithLevel: 1

  SculptorLevel: 1

  SaddleryLevel: 1

  AcupuncturistLevel: 1

  Field MedicLevel: 1

  HealerLevel: 1

  …..

  After lying around for 20 minutes, Mayah got up and limped over to the gold imp that had been burned by the Shadow Lightning. As she bent over to draw a large circle around it in the dust she felt her spine grind and crack.

  I really need to hire a healer to cast healings into crystals for us.

  She drew the rune for Open (Lf) and the rune for Hold (E). She began to cast and the barely visible line of the rift opened. She triggered Hold (E). The imp flattened and went two dimensional as it was pulled into the runiverse. As it closed, the rift spit out a blue, crystal token.

  “Hey Margaret, your hearing back?”

  “Of course.”

  “Well then it’s time to start dragging bodies. The first one is over there.” She pointed at Grax. Margaret laughed and scooped up the napping kitty.

  “Hey, cut it out! I was sleeping.”

  “He’s so cute when he just wakes up.” She scratched him behind the ears.

  “Fine, the longer you hold me, the longer until I have to drag bodies.” Grax pouted but stopped resisting.

  “I thought you were asleep?” Mayah inquired.

  “I was, but I always sleep with one ear open.” He winked at her

  Mayah tsk’ed the cradled kitty. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

  They pulled the heavy bodies and talked about the division of the dungeon’s wealth. When they were in a heated discussion about the platinum imp Margaret surprised Mayah by saying, “Why don’t we just keep it for the tournament tomorrow?”

  “Fair point. What do you think about that, Grax?”

  “Sounds fair, but you don’t get to keep him past the prize dungeon if we make it that far.”

  “Deal!!! … Oooh, I got Skinflint.”

  “Way to go Mags.” Mayah gave her a high five.

  “Okay, so we’re agreed we’re cashing out thirty-two of the silver imps, all of the copper, and one of the gold imps. The platinum, two gold, and thirty silver imps we cash out after the tournament …or the dungeon, whichever comes last. And what about the necklace?”

  Margaret looked at the floor and back up at Mayah, “I think you should have it.”

  “I agree with her. It’s not my style and I’m going to hold out for a better bowtie. And by hold out, I mean hound you relentlessly for it,” Grax said full of sarcasm.

  “Thank you, guys.” Mayah felt that her offensive power was a bit lacking. That necklace would push her in the right direction. “Margaret, would you like anything in return?”

  “No… you just gave me Lightning Arrow. I just want you to be safe.”

  She gave Margaret a hug over the body of a silver imp. “As soon as I get these zombie arrows finished, I’ll think of something special for you.”

  “I’ve been around you long enough that I know you won’t take no for an answer,” Margaret chuckled.

  “You catch on quick for a grandmother.”

  “I thought you weren’t going to call me that anymore?”

  “Grandma…” Mayah corrected her. “I said I wasn’t going to call you grandma any more. Besides you’re here for your grandkids. And technically I called you ‘a’ grandmother. You are a grandmother, so what's the harm?”

  “You shouldn’t go around telling people how old a lady is.”

  “What people?” she laughed, “There's you, me, and Grax is technically a cat.”

  “Har har. So much for being the smallest target,” Grax scowled.

  “Come on, let’s get all of bodies turned into crystals. I need to make the arrows for tomorrow.”

  Mayah winced. Even though Margaret and Grax probably thought she was wincing about making arrows, Mayah’s thoughts were actually running more along the lines of Margaret’s not gonna like me very much after the training she’s headed into tonight.

  …..

  5.7 Storytellers of Earth

  Jensen put his mug down as the trio walked into the tavern. He stood up as much as the table and the bench behind his legs would allow, waving them over to the booth. “It’s about time ye showed up.”

  “You would have been here anyway, Jensen.”

  “Eh… yer probably right.” He motioned for the barkeep to bring them drinks. “Ye lot hungry? And where in the world did ye get PK Marks?”

  “I could eat. You Grax?” Mayah avoided making eye contact with Jensen.

  “Most definitely,” Grax said, eyeing a conspicuously empty corner of the tavern.

  “So could I.” Margaret hadn’t lifted her eyes from the table since she sat down.

  “So, no one is gonna say anything?” He sat back and crossed his arms across his chest. “I’m gonna mark it up to a weary traveler’s parched and dusty throat. Ah well, drinks are on the way and I’m a patient man.”

  When the drinks arrived, they ordered food from the barmaid. She gave them all disdainful frowns when she saw the Player Kill marks, and she hurried away.

  “So, give me the short version. What happened and what level are ye? And why in Atmos’s left buttock do ye have PK marks???”

  The three players looked between themselves and then made their Raider Marks visible in unison. His eyes stared at one, then the others in turn, his jaw slowly dropping further with each one. The marks winked out of existence.

  “You can’t have…??? where did ye…? Oh, I’m not paying for dinner tonight. Three newly minted raiders surely have some coin to spare. And maybe a wee story as well.”

  “That we do. One where the fair heroine sweeps in and saves them all.” Mayah held the back of her hand to her forehead and made swooning motions.

  “This one isn’t modest at all, is she?” Jensen said, thumbing towards Mayah. Mayah swatted his arm.

  “Not me, silly. Margaret.”

  “Margaret…?” Jensen looked at Margaret with a newfound respect. He said, “Would ye like to tell me the tale, fair heroine?”

  “It would be an honor, fine sir,” she blushed and nodded.

  Margaret began the tale and, after many interjections and switching of tellers, Mayah ended it with, “No wonder she didn’t hear me screaming. Dolls... Dolls... Dolls...!!!!” They all had a good laugh at that for a bit.

  Then Grax said, “It was way better than the fight with Malcipher.”

  Margaret popped him upside his head. Mayah felt a cold shadow drop over her as the name was mentioned.

  “Why d’ye look so glum, lassie?” Jensen probed. “Ye’re the first paladins to conquer a dungeon.”

  She looked away from him. “It’s hard to explain.”

  “Well give me a whirl and I’ll see if I can take it. This has everything to do with those PK marks of yours, doesn’t it?”

  Mayah nodded an affirmative and took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s see how much of this I can explain. You know we’re paladins, right?”

  He nodded.

  “But do you actually know what
a paladin is?”

  “Why, ye are travelers from other worlds and other times.”

  “That’s not a totally accurate description. Every paladin lives on earth in the now. It’s only one world and everyone is human. Humans created Majesta. We access Majesta through a form of technology that we control with our minds. Are you following?”

  He nodded again, though confusion was growing on his face.

  “So right now, my body is lying in a pod, unaware on Earth, while my brain is playing a game called Majesta. Majesta was created by humans as a game.” She gave him some time to let it sink in. He looked to Grax who nodded his agreement, and then to Margaret who couldn’t seem to meet his eyes.

  “That explains why we’re able to respawn, be reborn, and why most players are kind of callous towards Majestans. They think that you are just lines of code in a game. The term we use for that would be an NPC. A non-player character.”

  “So ye think that I’m one of these MPCs?” He was fast becoming indignant.

  “NPCs, and even if I did, Jensen, have I ever treated you as less than a man? Besides, that’s not the point I’m trying to make.” She placed her tiny hands over his large, rough one, hoping to calm him. “I just need you to understand the circumstances around my situation. Remember when I passed out and said I was stuck in the game? That’s what this is all about.”

  “So what, yer stuck in Majesta and can’t go back to this earth?”

  “Yes, and that’s bad. The pod I’m in, it wasn't designed to be used for this long. Usually you can physically remove the body from the pod or just stop the power to the pod which automatically removes us from Majesta. But in my case, someone added some bad hardware to my pod and it fried some seriously sensitive parts. Every time they try to remove me from my pod, my brain goes haywire and causes my real body to have seizures. That’s why I never disappear like the rest of the paladins.”

  “So, what does this have to do with this Malcipher?”

 

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