Liam nuzzled her neck, his breath wafting over her skin in a way that made goosebumps rise on it. She shivered in anticipation, her fingers already curling into his hair. His strength, his bravery, she wished she could absorb it all into herself. Maybe then she’d be able to know what she could do to protect her son.
“I want you,” Liam whispered into her ear. “I want you so much I can hardly breathe. But you have to know, if we do this, it’ll only make things more complicated.”
“I know.”
“Do you really?”
Utopia gave him a sad smile as he pulled back from her. She rubbed her thumb over the tattoo on his neck that she’d once cut open. “It’s going to be far more complicated for you than me.”
Liam smirked. “Don’t care.”
“Neither do I. I just want your arms around me. I need your touch, Liam. I know I have no right to ask, but I want—”
He cut her off with a kiss. It was so deep, so passionate that everything was driven from her mind and body. The only thing she knew was that he was here. His arms were around her. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him. She could almost feel the fires flaring in his belly, his warmth seeping into her as they both shed their clothes.
Liam knelt back on the couch to ease her underwear off and Utopia bit her lip, naked before him, taking in the nakedness of his body. He was beautiful. Sculpted contours of muscle. Tattoos that each told their own story. And now, in this situation, she finally allowed herself to actually see what he had to offer.
“Like what you see?” he smirked as he gripped himself in his hand, stroking himself a few times.
Utopia bit her lip as she nodded. “A little nervous, too, though.”
Liam frowned as he glanced down. “What’s wrong with it?”
Utopia was hit by a fit of giggles. She covered her mouth as Liam’s frown deepened. “No, no. Nothing is wrong. It’s just that, you know. You’re… very large. And I haven’t done this for quite a while. There weren’t exactly opportunities with the Pack.”
The wolves who had cornered her in the woods flashed through her mind. Her stomach twisted sickeningly, but she shoved those memories away. They weren’t here. Liam was. He was the one looking down at her with understanding, his gentle touch brushing the hair from her face.
“Okay. I understand. If you need me to slow down or do something different, tell me okay?”
Utopia nodded.
“How do you like to be touched?” Liam asked, trailing his hands over her body.
Part of her wanted to shy away from his touch. She had put on a lot of weight since she’d been with Adrian. She knew her curves gave her decent proportions, but it was all so… different. Fresh. New. She knew if she thought too much about this, she was going to start thinking too much. She’d lose herself in doubts and wishes and then she’d feel even worse than she did now.
“I’m not sure, honestly,” she said hesitantly. “It’s been a while since I… took care of myself either.”
Liam nodded, as though he heard this sort of thing all the time. He lifted one of her thighs over his hips, spreading her out to give his fingers easier access. He touched her gently, and Utopia held her breath. Her muscles were tight with anticipation, already sensitive to the feeling of his hands on her.
“Hmmm.” Liam cocked his head to one side then bent over her again, kissing her gently. “I think we might need to take this a little slower. You’re not even starting to get wet yet. Obviously, I didn’t spend enough time kissing you.”
“But you’re already—”
“I’m not. Don’t worry about me. Let me take care of you.” His body was hot over hers, the sensation of skin on skin making her tighten.
Liam kissed her, again and again, while his hands roved her body. The sensations sparked through her, powerful, making her attack him with her own lips. She couldn’t get enough of him. His taste. His smell. The feel of him. Her hands found him, thick and hard and ready despite what he had said. She stroked him, softly, imagining the feel of him inside of her.
She groaned with impatience, but when she bucked her hips, Liam put a hand on her hip and pressed her back down.
“I don’t want to hurt you, my beautiful snow leopard. Just be patient. Okay? Let me take care of you.”
“But I don’t like it that you’re just hanging in there, waiting.”
Liam laughed a strangled laugh as she stroked him again. “You keep doing that and I’m going to have nothing left to give you. So—” He caught her wrist, brought it to his mouth to kiss, and then pinned her hand over her head. “Let me take care of you.”
Utopia smiled at him, liking the look in his eyes. She accepted that he needed to have control this time and grasped the armrest to give her hands something to do.
The kisses that blazed down her body set her to moaning and groaning, her core tight. She could feel herself swelling by the time Liam got to her clit. He wrapped his arms around her waist, propping her up as his lips toyed around her. The feel of him on her thighs made her close her eyes, her fingers dug into the sofa. His tongue slowly curled around her clit and Utopia gasped.
“Do you like that?” Liam asked.
“I think so. Do it again?”
He repeated his action and Utopia decided that, yes, she very much liked when he did that. She loved the feel of his hand on her hip. The sense of protection and safety she felt, just being in his presence. The gentleness of his touch that made her feel like she wasn’t worthless. Maybe she was worth saving. Worth protecting.
She didn’t know quite how long she lay on his sofa, overcome with the sensations he gave her before he kissed up her stomach. He lingered between her breasts, his fingers working her now that his lips had left. Her skin tingled and she reached for him, wanting to have him in her arms.
He lay over her, her thigh wrapped around his hips. The look in his eyes was deep, passionate, demanding yet gentle. His eyes were dark with lust while his touch was gentle. He kept eye contact as he pushed inside of her.
He felt as good as she had hoped. He filled her, stretching her in a way she hadn’t known for too long. Everything pooled in her core. It felt like a fire burned in her belly, warmth spreading through every inch of her. She grasped his shoulders as he began to thrust, ever so gently, still looking into her eyes.
“Liam,” she gasped as she clung to him.
His lips brushed over her mouth. “Yeah?” he grunted.
Utopia didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to express how she felt. Her back arched as she matched his rhythm, wanting to give him everything that he was giving her. “Thank you.”
Liam laughed as he buried his face into her neck. The heat continued to coil. Soon enough she was crying out with his thrusts, the sensations completely overwhelming every thought. She clutched him closer, wishing she could shed her skin and meld so totally with his body that she wouldn’t know where she stopped and he started.
It had to end, somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that. But right here, now, it seemed to last forever.
***
Utopia jerked up, a scream in her throat even as she became aware of her surroundings. She clutched the blanket to her chest, blinking as the dim light of Liam’s apartment came back into view. Liam jerked up beside her, a growl in his throat.
Instinctively, she shied away from him.
Liam blinked rapidly as he looked around the apartment. When he looked back to her, Utopia shook her head. They stared at each other for a long moment, Utopia trying desperately to bring herself back under control. She sucked in deep breaths, trying to center herself. She was in Liam’s apartment. This was Liam with her.
She wasn’t back with the Pack. She wasn’t being forced to watch as the Alpha performed experiments on Aiden. She wasn’t stuck in a small room while Cooper tried to kill her.
“Utopia?” Liam’s hands gently cupped her face. “Are you okay?”
Tears burned her eyes as Utopia tried to tell him that
yes, she was. But the truth was, she was as far from okay as she possibly could be. What was she doing here, making love when her son was still in the Alpha’s hands? Who knew what that bastard was doing? Disgust and shame welled in her, making her unable to meet Liam’s eyes.
“We fell asleep,” she mumbled instead. “You’re going to be in so much trouble. You shouldn’t have brought me here.”
“Utopia.” Liam gripped her a little tighter. “Hey. Look at me. Look at me. What is it? What happened?”
“You shouldn’t have brought me here.”
Liam sighed as he released her. “I might get in trouble, yeah. But I’ll just say that I was worried Cooper was going to come after you again. It’s not like I always follow the rules. I mean, if I did, I’d never have been caught by the Pack in the first place.”
More tears, and this time Utopia couldn’t fight them back. She pressed both hands over her face, her shoulders shaking. How could she explain what it was she was feeling? Would Liam even understand? Why had he slept with her? After everything she had done to him, why did he want her?
“Utopia.” His arm wrapped around her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… I should have realized that you were just distressed. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s not you.”
“But it’s what we did.”
Utopia peeked between her fingers. “I don’t know,” she whispered honestly. “I don’t know what to think or feel right now. I just feel… so guilty. Why did you sleep with me? After what I did to you? How can you even stand to look at me? How can you…?”
“Because—”
Whatever Liam was going to say was lost as the door opened. In strode Adam, a fierce look of anger on his face. He stopped dead two feet into the apartment. Utopia pulled the blankets higher, trying to cover herself. Her eyes went wide, and her jaw dropped. She would have liked to have screamed but she was in too much shock to do so.
Adam turned on his heel. He stepped back out, shut the door, and then shouted, “Patrick is furious with you, Liam. And now Fiona is gonna kill you, too. You better get the prisoner back to her cell and report in before they have a chance to find you.”
Liam groaned, slumping back on the sofa. Utopia sat where she was, staring at the door in shock and horror. Knowing Liam was going to be in trouble was one thing. Having someone walk in on them was something else entirely.
“Well. This is gonna be a real mess.”
Utopia flinched. “I’m sorry.”
“No.” Liam let out a deep breath. “It’s not your fault. Okay? It’s not your fault. And for the record, I understand why you did what you did.” He kissed her, briefly, tenderly. “And if it had been me, forced to do the unthinkable to save someone I loved? I would have done the same thing.”
Chapter Fifteen
There was no use in trying to delay. So, as soon as he returned Utopia to the cells (satisfied with Adam’s promise that he wouldn’t leave her until he was certain Cooper wasn’t going to attack again), he sought out Patrick and Fiona. The two of them were, quite aptly put, murderous. Luckily for Liam, they chose to do their murdering by shouting, rather than cutting his head off.
By the look on Fiona’s face, though, she was seriously considering it.
“How can you be so stupid?” Patrick slammed his hands onto the desk before him. Although, at this moment, he was Colonel Sheen and Liam better not forget it.
Liam remained at attention and did not speak.
“I understand you being concerned for her wellbeing after Cooper’s attack,” the Colonel continued, a snarl in his voice and the scent of smoke in the air, “but taking her to your apartment? You allowed her access to our databases, Captain. She could have contacted the Pack in a myriad of ways. Did it even occur to you?”
It was a rhetorical question. If not, Liam would have told him that yes, he had. He’d considered that it was all a ploy. But then he’d decided that he trusted her and did it anyway. He hadn’t fallen asleep, only held Utopia while she slept. He still wanted to know what sort of nightmare she was having.
He had a feeling that nobody was going to let him do that, though.
In fact, he had a feeling me might just end up kicked off the Blaze Ops entirely.
Fiona put a hand on Colonel Sheen’s chest, stopping his rant. She still glowered at Liam like she wanted to kill him, but at least the shouting had stopped.
“Do you have anything to say for yourself, Captain Young?” she asked, and her ice-cold tone made him wish the shouting would start up again.
“Only that she was not left unsupervised, even for a minute. I didn’t let her out of my sight.”
Colonel Sheen’s face turned red as he clearly tried to hold back more shouting.
Fiona continued, still cold and calm. “And you decided to fuck her because you thought it’d help us get more information?”
What was he meant to reply to that? Liam remained silent.
“If it was up to me,” the Colonel snarled, bringing Liam’s attention back to him, “you’d already be out of the Blaze Ops and up on charges.”
Liam blinked in surprise. “I’m not?”
“No. You’re not.” The Colonel snorted.
Why? Liam’s tense stance relaxed. It didn’t make any sense. After what he’d done, he fully expected to have been cut out of the Academy and possibly even jailed. Looking back, it had been too big a risk to take. Even though he would never regret it for his sake, he loved having Utopia in his arms too much for that, it did mean his ability to save Aiden was hampered that much more.
“No,” Fiona said, her voice starting to get a tinge of anger to it. “Maura has decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. She believes that part of what the Pack was doing to you might have been some sort of mind-control to make you highly suggestible and obedient to Utopia’s wishes.”
Liam blinked. “Why would she—”
“Because,” Colonel Sheen growled, “Clementine said it might be a possibility. She’s found a subtle hormone imbalance in your latest tests. She thinks it might be something that the Pack uses.”
“The theory has some merit,” Fiona said. “Although I thought I trained you better than to allow your hormones to get in the way of clear thinking.”
Liam almost laughed. Hormone imbalance? If it was subtle enough that Clementine only barely found it, how could it possibly be strong enough to make him do this? If they thought he was blindly loyal to Utopia, they were completely mistaken.
“I didn’t sleep with her because of a hormone imbalance.” He didn’t care if it meant he would lose more credibility than he already had. He wasn’t going to let this be used against Utopia. Especially not after she already had so much regret about what happened. His stomach twisted. Should he have held back more? Tried harder to make sure this was what she wanted before he took off her clothes? He shook his head. “I wanted to sleep with her. I wanted to try to… make her feel better.”
Fiona and Colonel Sheen both stared at him incredulously.
“I know that might not make sense to you. But she’s in great emotional distress because of her son. There’s nothing she or I can do to get him back any faster. She’s going crazy with worry and I wanted her to feel something besides that all-encompassing fear.”
Fiona snorted. “She’s good. I’ll give her that.”
Liam turned to her, his fists clenching. “You were the one who said that you thought there was more going on with her than what met the eye. What happened to that?”
Colonel Sheen stuck a finger in his face. “Don’t you dare take that tone with my mate, Captain. She is your superior, and you will treat her with respect.”
Liam ground his teeth together. He barely held in the words he wanted to say, that it wasn’t his fault that she was going back on what she had said before.
“You are not in charge here, Captain, as much as you might like to think so,” the Colonel continued, getting ready to go on a rant again. “You are
suspended from duty and there will be a review of your actions to determine if further punishment is necessary. And that will include you going behind my back to use the Blaze Ops. I am your commanding officer. Me. You do not get to give the orders.”
It was a serious breach of protocol. Liam couldn’t even fault the Colonel for being so mad about it. His hands clenched at his side as he returned his gaze to stare straight ahead. Let the Colonel berate him. It’d help him feel better and wouldn’t hurt Liam at all.
“What were you thinking? You know that we’re trying to get the boy, and you still go behind my back?” The Colonel stepped up close and thrust his face into Liam’s. “Answer me, Captain.”
Liam took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm. “Sir, I know that what I did was against regulations. But there is a little boy out there and I know that the Alpha will hurt him to hurt Utopia.”
“We are handling it, Captain.”
“I know. But there is so little time—”
“No!” Fiona snapped. She poked her finger into Liam’s chest hard enough that he took a half step back to regain his balance. “No. Rushing into these situations is what got you caught in the first place. I know that you’re worried about the boy. I know that you want to help. But you will not make that mistake again, do you hear me? I don’t care what it is about that woman you find so irresistible, we are not going to lose you again.”
Liam opened his mouth and closed it again, not sure how to answer. He hesitated a moment before he said in a low voice, “But if the whole team was on board and not just me alone—”
“How do you know that you wouldn’t all end up captured or dead? Do you want that on your head?” Fiona spat.
“I… I…” Liam faltered. He lowered his head, unable to hold her gaze. “I didn’t think about that possibility. I didn’t… I didn’t think…”
“That much is obvious,” Colonel Sheen spat.
His shoulders sagged. Had he really been so caught up in his own invincibility that he could have put the whole team at risk? His hands started trembling, and he let out a shaky breath. But he wouldn’t have actually done anything without the go-ahead from his superiors. Not this time… right?
Dragon's Frenemy (Dragon Blaze Ops Book 2) Page 9