Love Me

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Love Me Page 8

by Cristin Cooper


  Sexy arms…err Kevin Masterson stood relaxed with his long sleeves rolled up and his hands stuffed into the pockets of his slacks showing off those arms. “Lord, give me strength,” I muttered, as he looked straight at me with a sexy grin.

  Jasmine, who stood behind the front desk, pointed to him. “You’re appointment,” she mouthed.

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and wondered what I did to deserve this. This being good or bad had yet to be determined. “Kevin, it’s nice to see you again,” I stated in my professional tone as I held my hand out to him. When I noticed how his smile dimmed and his back straightened when he shook my hand, I realized how cold I sounded. I was just trying not to let my voice shake with nerves, and it came out all wrong.

  I took in a deep breath. “You must work with Jim,” I said in a friendlier tone.

  “I do, but we’ve known each other since college. He’s the reason I get the pleasure to meet with you today. It’s my job to make sure we can pull off this much-needed auction.”

  I breathed out feeling more relaxed discussing business. “He told me your previous location canceled at the last minute.”

  “Yeah, they had a fire in part of the building, which happened to include the room we had reserved.”

  “That’s unfortunate, but I’m excited I get to help a good cause.”

  We walked back toward my office, side by side. “How do you know Jim?” he asked.

  “He lives across the street from me.” His brows turned up, and I noticed his smile widen, but he didn’t say anything. “And they let me babysit their boys on occasion.”

  His laugh startled me. “Let?” he asked. “I’ve been around the boys. I’m surprised he doesn’t beg you to babysit them.”

  My laugh came out through my nose. I knew exactly what he meant. “They are pretty…rambunctious, but you have to admit they’re a lot of fun.”

  “They are,” he agreed. “But not everybody shares that opinion. Jim told me how many nannies they’ve been through.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Amateurs.”

  His laugh deepened and I thought I would melt into a puddle at his feet. The sound vibrated through me, and I needed to make him do it again.

  “Are you from here?” I asked.

  “No, I moved here last year from San Diego.”

  “Wow, that’s quite a transition.”

  “It is, but so far so good. I hate not being near my family, but I needed a change.”

  He followed me into my office, and we took a seat on my couch. As much as I wanted to keep asking more questions about him, I didn’t have much time scheduled and had a long list of things we needed to discuss. “We’re booked ten to twelve months in advance, but you guys have lucked out. We have one of the ballrooms available and because of a cancellation this morning, we have the rooftop open. “It’s my favorite space,” I said more to myself than to him. I hadn’t realized I said it loud enough for him to hear, but my heart skipped when he said, “Then I’m sure it’ll be perfect.”

  I felt my face blush, and I stumbled on my words while trying to ignore his comment. Only this man could make me blush. “We can go up there right now so you can have an idea of what we could do.”

  “Sounds great.”

  Once inside the elevator, I brought up a concern I had. “After looking at the invitation list, I wondered if Jim would have an issue with sending out more invites. I have several connections that could beef up the auctions and the amount you could bring in. It’s just an offer. No pressure.” Working on projects like this could be delicate, and I wasn’t always the subtle type when I saw things that needed changing, but I could see the potential if they were okay with my help.

  Kevin looked at me with an expression I couldn’t read, and I was excellent at reading people. “That would be fantastic, and I know for a fact, Jim wouldn’t have a problem with it. We’re just mental health workers hoping to make a difference.”

  “Wonderful. I’ll make some calls then send him a list.” I kept myself from bouncing with excitement. I loved my job, but when having a little more control, I could get downright giddy.

  Walking around the rooftop, I gave him ideas of lighting, table set ups, where the band could play and where they could set up the silent auction. Half the rooftop was a bar with floor-to-ceiling windows and the other open giving the best view of the city.

  The way he watched me and kept nodding his head, I wondered if he actually heard me, but since he seemed to agree with everything I recommended, I made notes and planned it how I saw it in my head.

  Back in my office, I watched the clock wishing it would slow down while we discussed the last item on my list. “Do you happen to have a list of items up for auctioned so I can draw up plans for the setup?”

  “I don’t have one with me, but I’ll have Jim send you the list.”

  “Sounds good. Well, I think that’s all I need today. If I have any questions, do I call you or Jim?”

  “You can call me.” He looked nervous when he said, “You can call me even if it isn’t about the auction.”

  I got the hint loud and clear. Relief washed over me when we got interrupted, so I didn’t have to respond. “Knock Knock!” Laurie, a former employee, poked her head in. “Oh, I’m sorry, Tara said to come right in.”

  “Laurie! You better have brought that gorgeous baby.” She smiled with pride as she opened the door wider and pushed a stroller holding a chubby baby boy.

  “I don’t want to interrupt,” she said as she looked back and forth between Kevin and me.

  “We were just finishing up,” he expressed in a voice used for talking to babies while he made silly faces, making baby Luke smile.

  He turned me into goo, and it wasn’t fair. I didn’t want to like him more.

  Giving her a warm hug, I tried to ignore the good-looking man next to me. “We miss you around here. How are you? Are you getting enough sleep?”

  She laughed as I let her go and went straight for her baby.

  “May I?” I asked as I unbuckled her little boy out of his stroller. I didn’t bother waiting for an answer. I needed to squeeze a baby. Bad. I lifted him up and kissed his cheeks and breathed in his yummy baby smell.

  My baby-hungry ways didn’t seem to faze Kevin, and in fact, he leaned closer to me and talked to Luke while I kept kissing his adorable face. Laurie watched us looking a little nervous but held a smile. “I’m sorry. I’m being rude. Laurie, this is Kevin Masterson, he’s a new client. Kevin, this is Laurie, she used to work for me until this guy came along.” I blew a zerbert on his cheek making Luke giggle.

  She still hadn’t answered my questions, and I grew nervous until I looked into her face. She had that I’m madly in love with my kid look on her face but the dark circles under her eyes said, she was tired and probably didn’t get much sleep.

  Luke began bouncing in my arms then put his chubby arms out for Kevin. Without saying a word, he took him from me and bounced him while talking to him about his day. He looked so natural, and I couldn’t help wonder if he had kids of his own. “I’m going to want him back,” I informed. He nodded with a grin but kept talking to Luke, who looked fascinated with whatever Kevin said to him.

  I turned my attention back to Laurie. “If you have time, I can see if the spa has an opening for a manicure and pedicure. My treat. I’ll even watch Luke.”

  Her shoulders slumped. “I wish but I’m supposed to meet my husband in a little while.”

  “Another time?” I asked.

  “That would be great.”

  “Any time, Laurie.”

  After squeezing Luke one last time, Laurie took off, and I walked Kevin out of my office and toward the hotel entrance. “How long have you known Laurie?”

  “Three years. I hired her right out of high school as a dishwasher. By the time she left to do greater things, she’d been my best server.”

  “That was a nice offer you gave her.” I shrugged uncomfortable with his compliment.

  �
��She and her husband are young, broke and living in a one-bedroom apartment. They’re happy, but they don’t have money for extras. It was the least I could do.”

  “Not many people would’ve done that.”

  My face warmed, and I grew uncomfortable with each passing second. “You look like a natural with Luke,” he said mirroring my own opinion of him. Grateful he changed the subject, I jumped back into the conversation. “Well, I don’t mean to brag, but I’m the most popular babysitter on my block.”

  I made him laugh again and in turn, he made me not want to say goodbye.

  “I bet you put some poor teenager out of work.”

  “Probably,” I said not the least bit sorry.

  When we reached the doors, he turned to face me looking the most unsure I had ever seen him. “So how long will it take to get the quote for everything?”

  “If I have time, I’ll finish it tonight or first thing tomorrow morning.”

  “Good. Good.” His head bounced up and down like he didn’t know how else to respond.

  “We’ll be in touch.” I held my hand out to him, and he shook it holding it a little longer.

  “I can’t wait.” I couldn’t either.

  Dammit.

  13

  I took my time walking down each aisle of the grocery store picking up bottled water, pop, and snacks, in no hurry to get to Anna’s. Even though I was relieved Anna took my advice and sold her large home and moved into something more manageable, I still had no desire to help her unpack.

  It might’ve had something to do with my mother being there. Okay, so there was no might’ve. I had no desire to get lectured by her about…anything. I get enough of it during our once a week phone calls. My mother still hadn’t forgiven me for not accepting her offer to set me up and had been somewhat cold with me. Not that I minded. It meant our phone calls were short and sweet…err short and bitter.

  Too busy trying to decide if I had enough junk food for everyone, I didn’t notice the person walking towards me with that sexy grin until he spoke. “Kimberly?”

  Nooooooo! I pressed my eyes closed, hoping when I opened them Kevin wouldn’t be standing right in front of me while I wore holey sweats and a stained tank top with a giant faded yellow smiley face on the front. I hadn’t even bothered putting on makeup or brushing my hair. Of all the days to not do the bare grooming necessities, I chose today. The universe hated me.

  “Hey.” The word trailed off as I noticed his appearance. Wearing basketball shorts and a sweaty T-shirt that clung to him, he looked casual and hot, and not just in the sweaty kind of hot. Damn him. I never looked that good sweaty.

  “I haven’t stumbled into you or talked to you in a while. How are you?”

  It had been thirty-two days to be exact, but who was counting? I had assigned Tara to follow up with him and made sure she was his contact person for the auction to avoid seeing him…and imagining what our children would look like. I still had weeks left on my man diet and I couldn’t break my promise now even if Kevin made my heart flutter, or he seemed kind, or just seeing him made me want to jump him.

  “Yeah. Work has been keeping me busy.” I didn’t sound the least bit convincing. It had been busy but nothing I couldn’t handle.

  He tilted his head and raised his brows with a knowing look. Damn him. He could read me like a book. Thankfully, he didn’t question me. Instead, he looked into my cart then back to me, still smiling. “Looks like you’re having a party.”

  “If unpacking my sister’s crap from her move is code for a party, then yes. I’m having a party,” I said without the slightest hint of humor, but he chuckled and shook his head.

  He made it harder to resist him when he got my dry sense of humor.

  “Need any help? I’m a good un-packer. I can even move furniture.”

  It took my brain a moment to realize he volunteered to help someone he didn’t know with something most people tried to avoid. “Are you kidding?” I didn’t intend my response to come out so cynical, but why would he want to help?

  His chuckle sounded self-conscious, and he looked away, running his hand through his sweaty hair. Noticing his discomfort, I said, “Thanks for the offer, but we’re good.” There were so many reasons I didn’t want him to come, but the main reason was I didn’t want my mother scaring him away.

  “If you change your mind…”

  I patted his arm, which I found to be a mistake. Now I had his sweat on my hand and was tempted to lick it off. Something was very wrong with me. “It’s sweet of you to offer.”

  He shook his head and laughed. “It’s been over a decade since I’ve tried to flirt with a girl I like. I’m not sure if I’m too subtle or if you’re just not interested, but can I give you my number and if you want to get together and do anything then you can call or text me? If not, that’s cool. I’ll tuck my tail between my legs and leave you alone.” Considering my last relationship, his honesty was refreshing.

  Without saying a word, I pulled out my phone, and he grinned ear to ear as he rattled off his phone number that I already had memorized. This might’ve been a mistake, but nobody would ever accuse me of making good choices. Having his number in my phone was a temptation I didn’t need. Tim trusted me to stick with our promise. It didn’t matter if I was curious what it would be like to date a nice guy or to kiss a nice guy or…

  Just as I slipped my phone into my purse, it dinged with an incoming text. I glanced at it then groaned. “Shit. I’ve got to go.”

  His brow wrinkled, and he placed his hand on the cart to keep me from pushing past him. “Is everything okay?”

  I lifted my phone and showed him the text.

  Banana: Save. Me.

  “Is she or he going to be okay? If it’s serious, maybe I can help.” The tenderness in his voice warmed my heart.

  “It’s just my mother…she’s uh…well.” My lips pinched together while I tried to come up with a sensitive way to tell him my mom was crazy. “My sister and I kind of have to use the buddy system when it comes to her.”

  His worry turned into a hardy laugh. He waved a hand in the air and said, “Say no more. I’ll let you go.”

  Waving goodbye with one hand, I used the other to maneuver the cart in a way to block my rear view in case he still watched me. He didn’t need to see the words JUICY spelled out on the butt of my sweats that I had worn to annoy my mother. I hated it when my schemes backfired on me.

  I glanced over my shoulder to see if he was looking and cringed when I saw his hand cover his mouth as his shoulders shook with humor. At least someone enjoyed the Kimmie show. I left the store swearing to myself that I’d never leave the house looking like this ever again.

  Forty minutes later, I pulled up to Anna’s house and admired how cute it was. It was a 1950’s bungalow, just big enough for all of them to have their own rooms but not by much. Compared to the three-thousand-square-foot house they moved from, it would be a tight fit but a lot easier for Anna to take care of on her own.

  She didn’t put up much of a fight when I found a realtor a few months ago and scheduled our Saturdays for house hunting. When her house sold soon after being on the market she began to panic, but the moment we pulled up to this house I noticed the way her eyes lit up for the first time. This was it, and when we looked around inside, I could see her living there. This would be where her post-Ryan life would start.

  Just the idea made my heart heavy. I had never known an Anna without a Ryan until his death. She didn’t do well without him. I had wondered more than once since his death if I might have had it easier. Even though I had never loved as deeply as them, I also never risked losing a love like theirs.

  As I stepped out of my car, something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I walked to the back of the house and found Anna pacing back and forth. Her hands clenched and she mumbled something under her breath.

  My relief of seeing something besides grief written on her face, even if it were anger, disappeared as I realiz
ed the situation was worse than I thought.

  When she caught sight of me, she stopped and said, “Mom said I needed to find a place to put Ryan’s ashes instead of the mantel because it was time I did something with them.” Her anger turned to tears as she went on. “I’m not ready to let him go. I want him here with me.” I wrapped my arms around her and held her while she shook. “I’m not ready, Kimmie.”

  I tried to soothe her by rubbing her back. “I’ll take care of it.”

  A few minutes later, I held Ryan’s urn in my arms while I looked around Anna’s bedroom for the perfect place to put him. He needed to be close to Anna but not where our mother would see his urn. Then it hit me.

  Putting him on the shelf in her walk-in closet, I felt a wave of grief hit me. It happened every once in a while, not as often as it had. I stared at his urn with tears pooling in my eyes. “She’s not doing so good without you, Ryebread.” In my head, I could still hear his voice and imagine what he would say. Take care of her. She’s stronger than she thinks. And he was right. She was strong. She just hadn’t had to be. Everyone around her treated her with kid gloves, even our mother. We were afraid to see what would happen if we stopped pushing or nudging her forward.

  “We’re celebrating her birthday late this year.” The memory of him coming to me and asking for financial advice because he was saving money for Anna’s fortieth birthday brought another wave of grief. He would be the first to admit, he hadn’t been perfect by any means. In fact, he could be clueless sometimes, but in the end, he adored my sister and wanted to do something big for her since she had always kept her birthdays low key.

  I released a heavy breath and told him straight up, “I’m not sure she’ll be happy about the money since you won’t be here to spend it with her.” At this point, I couldn’t imagine her ever finding real joy in anything, especially without him. “God, Ry, I wish you were here to tell me what to do. I’ve been helping her every way I can, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference.” Shaking off my frustration, I gave his urn one last look and whispered, “Love you––always.”

 

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