by Rachel Ford
“Oh dear,” Migli said. “I fear we’ve been double crossed, Sir Knight. I fear that knave has made off with our plunder.”
Jack glared at the dwarf. He remembered only too well his assurances that no one would be able to rob him. But he didn’t stand there and argue. He took to his heels, racing back the way he’d come.
He was gaining on the ship. He could see Davey now, and hear him laughing and singing.
There was chest on chest full of Spanish gold,
With a ton of plate in the middle hold,
“You dirty thieving bilge rat,” he screamed.
Davey laughed. “Speak up, me lad. I cannae hear you.”
“That’s our gold too.”
The pirate’s laugh rolled off the ship, echoing out over the bay like some kind of manic thunder. “I told you, Jack me lad: I don’t trust a man who doesn’t drink.”
“You?” he sputtered. He’d almost reached the waterline. “You don’t trust me? You’re robbing me.”
“Careful there, me hearty. The sea snakes will make a feast of ye. They’ll strip ye down to bones.”
Jack kept running, and when he reached the shore, he dove into the water and started swimming. The ship was moving slowly, on a gentle breeze. He figured he might be able to catch it still. “You’re not getting away that easily.”
“Oh dear,” Migli called behind him. “We’ve been marooned.”
“Not yet, Migli. Get your backside into the water. We can catch him.”
The dwarf didn’t budge. He stood stock still on the shore and watched. Jack gritted his teeth and swam harder. He was still gaining on the pirate ship.
Then he felt a set of teeth pierce his shoulder. A moment later, something else chomped his lower leg, then the thigh on the opposite side. In half a minute, dozens of slimy, slippery bodies circled him, sinking their razor-sharp fangs into him. His meter ebbed steadily, dropping a few points with each bite.
He tried to beat them away. But he kept focused on the ship. It hadn’t reached open water yet, and he figured that if he was going to stop Davey, he had to do it before he got into the full wind.
His health hit half, then a quarter. The ship was almost home free; but he had almost reached it. He’d also accumulated a heavy weight of sea snakes, all hanging on and devouring him.
He forced himself onward, harder. He got to within a yard of the ship, and then a foot. His health meter dropped to ten points. He lunged forward and felt a plank in his hand.
At the same time, one snake bit his arm, and another his torso; and his health dropped below zero.
Jack was dead.
Chapter Twenty-One
He tried twelve more times. He tried swimming faster and varying his routes. He tried using his dagger while he swam and concentrated more energy on killing the snakes.
None of it worked. They always got him, sometimes just as he reached the ship, and sometimes well before he got that far. And every time, he died to the sound of Davey, laughing like it was the funniest thing in all the world.
He tried pushing Migli in with him, too. The dwarf didn’t budge. All that happened was that the ship got a solid lead on him – and then the sea snakes killed him.
Finally, in frustration, he called, “Speak to supervisor.”
Migli seemed to come alive. Instead of standing stupidly at the water’s edge, he turned to Jack. “Hey. What’s up?”
“Is there any way to get my danged treasure back?”
Migli laughed. “Oh. So you found out about Davey, then?”
“Yes. The son-of-a-biscuit ran off with my gold.”
She nodded. “Yup.”
“I’ve tried chasing him down. It doesn’t seem to work. So, am I wasting my time?”
She nodded again. “Sorry, Jack. But yeah…Davey gets away.”
“Mother trucker. I wish you’d told me. I wouldn’t have left him on the ship.”
“Nothing you can do. He won’t come with you.”
“I could have killed him.”
She laughed. “Nope. He’s an essential character.”
“Mother trucker. Alright, I want you to come with me.”
“You bet.”
“I don’t think I can stand dealing with this worthless dwarf a second longer.”
“You know, I’m going to play as him, right?”
“I know, I know. I just mean, he promised Davey wouldn’t get away with double crossing us. He just stood there and let me die. I’m sick of him.”
Jordan laughed again. “Alright. We can head out. But, hey, have you rested yet? Eaten?”
He frowned at her. “Why? Are you telling me I’m coming up on a boss fight or something?”
“I didn’t say anything of the sort. I’m just saying, making sure your character is ready to go is a good idea. Always.”
He harrumphed. The truth was, he hadn’t eaten in a long time. So he pulled out his pancakes and finished the plate. Jordan conjured up a cup of coffee for him. “When’s the last time you slept?”
“On the voyage.”
“No, I mean you.”
“Oh. Uh…your last shift.”
“So…fifteen or sixteen hours ago then? You should probably take a nap, Jack. You got to take care of real you too, you know. Digital pancakes and virtual sleeps aren’t enough.”
He harrumphed again. “Yeah. But I’m so close to the dagger. I can rest after we finish this level.”
She considered, then nodded. “Alright.”
He smiled. The truth was, he figured he could sleep when Richard took over. Richard didn’t bring him coffee and pancakes, and Richard wouldn’t level him up when he needed it, either. So if he was going to sleep during anyone’s shift, well, it wouldn’t be Jordan’s.
They set out after he finished his coffee. It was jarring for a bit, and he wasn’t sure why. Then, it dawned on him. “You’re not singing.”
“What?”
“I was wondering why it felt weird, traveling with you instead of Migli. You’re not singing annoying ditties about gold and women. That’s why.”
She laughed. “I mean, I can do that, if you want.”
“Pass. Definite pass.”
“You sure? I can do one better than Migli. Forget women and gold. I’ll sing about women made of gold.”
He shivered. “Good God, don’t give him ideas. Forget hair that shimmers like gold. It’ll be real strands of gold. Like some kind of creepy Rumpelstiltskin fantasy or something.”
She snorted in laughter. “You know, that might be the first time in human history those words were ever uttered.”
He grinned. “I hope so, anyway.”
They travelled for a few more minutes in silence. They’d moved from the sandy beach to a shaded forest road, with palm trees all around. Soft ocean breezes followed them inland, carrying a sweet smell of island fauna and sea water. “This place is really kind of beautiful.”
Migli grinned at him. “Well, I’m glad you like it. It’s one of the levels I worked on.”
He blinked, glancing around him, studying the greens and browns and beiges, the light blue of the sky and the dark blue of the ocean. “Really?”
She nodded.
“Wow. It’s – really impressive, actually.”
“Thanks. Although…well, let’s see if you still think so when we get to the castle.”
That, of course, was a hint he couldn’t ignore. He spent a good half an hour pressing her for details. But Jordan wouldn’t tell him anything further. He tried everything, too. He pulled out the poor, sad, stranded coma patient line. He tried the you’re supposed to help me card. He begged and pleaded, huffed and grumbled. She didn’t budge.
“You could be a dratted spy,” he told her finally.
She laughed. “Dratted, eh?”
“That wasn’t what I was trying to say.”
She grinned. “I guessed.”
They’d reached the base of the mountain, now, and the path started to wind upward. He whistled. “Wow.
The view is…amazing.”
It was. He could see over the treetops now, far and wide over a gorgeous tropical island. The sea looked almost nice from this vantage, and the breeze was soft and sweet. Flowering vegetation added pops of color among the greens and beiges all around them.
She grinned, a little embarrassedly. “Thanks. Hey, I probably shouldn’t be giving you pointers…but I’m going to anyway. We haven’t passed many of them yet. But we’re going to run into coconuts soon. You can harvest them, you know.”
Jack smiled ear to ear. “No kidding? Sweet.”
The hunt for coconuts kept him occupied for a bit – so occupied, straying so far from the path, that Jordan groaned. “Geez. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
He threw a reproachful glance her way. “Of course you should have. How much of the game happens on a tropical island? This is probably going to be my only chance to harvest coconuts.”
“You don’t even know what you can do with them yet.”
“I can eat them, probably. Why, anything else?”
She shrugged. “I can’t tell you that.”
“Jordan. Come on. You can’t just say things like that and then not tell me.”
She shrugged. “I mean, if – say – you could build a coconut cannon at some point, and I told you, I’m sure that would be overstepping.”
He gaped, though. “Oh my God. A coconut cannon? For real?”
“You know I can’t confirm that.” Then she grinned. “But, not no.”
“Oh my God. That is – insane.”
If her goal had been to turn him away from coconut harvesting, this news had rather the opposite effect. He embarked on the hunt with an almost manic energy.
Their progress ground to a near halt. He was too busy looking for coconuts to make much headway climbing the mountain.
And, before he knew it, Jordan said, “Hey, Jack?”
“Yeah?”
“My shift’s ending in fifteen minutes.”
He blinked. “Already? No way. We’ve barely been here.”
She laughed. “You spent like five hours climbing palm trees.”
“Really?”
“Uh…yeah.”
“Oh.” He tried to keep the disappointment out of his tone. “You should have said something.”
“I…kind of did.”
“I mean, I don’t need ninety-seven coconuts.”
“Nope.”
He frowned at her. “Now I’m going to be stuck with Migli.”
She shrugged. “You could always ask Richard to quest with you.”
“He wouldn’t even fix my gear,” he harrumphed. “He’ll probably tell me ‘interns aren’t allowed to do that.’”
“Well, you do need to take a nap. A real nap, I mean. So you could do that and get through any more of the hunter-gatherer thing you’ve got left in your system…and I can pick up the quest with you when I’m back. Okay?”
He didn’t have much of a choice, so he agreed. Jordan left soon after, and Richard took over. He checked in once, and then left him to his own devices. The AI dwarf returned, and promptly fell to singing about lost gold.
Jack sighed and got back to work.
He reached a hundred and one coconuts before he ran out of carry space. He figured it out when he shimmied down a coconut tree and couldn’t move a step.
“Hey Migli,” he called. “Get over here.”
The dwarf ambled over, murmuring about a raven-haired maiden.
“Here, I need to give you some stuff to carry.”
“I would be honored to share your burdens, Sir Knight.”
“Good. Because you’re going to go nuts over these.” He laughed at his own witticism, even if the pedantic side of his head argued that it didn’t fully work, since coconuts weren’t actually nuts. But the more technically accurate you’re going to go drupes over this just didn’t make any sense. And anyway, there was the word nut in the name, so it worked etymologically even if it entered a gray area botanically. At any rate, he managed to be sufficiently amused – right up until he realized he could only offload fifteen pounds to the dwarf. “Wait…what the heather?”
A thought flashed through his mind.
Your companion cannot carry any more.
He blinked, and doublechecked Migli’s inventory. “You’re carrying fifteen pounds of coconuts. That’s it.” He tried again, shifting more of his burden to the dwarf.
Your companion cannot carry any more.
He wondered if he’d hit some kind of mass limit, rather than weight. That’s got to be it. I mean, he’s got to be able to carry more than fifteen pounds. So he swapped the coconuts for food and his weapons – exactly fifteen pounds of weapons and food. Then, he got the same message.
Your companion cannot carry any more.
“What the bleep? Okay, this is ridiculous. Speak to supervisor.”
Migli spun around smiling. “Yo, Jack, what can I do for you?”
“Richard, I found a bug. A bad one.”
“Oh no. What have you got for me?”
“Migli: his carry system is all messed up.”
The avatar raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Yup. He won’t carry more than fifteen pounds.”
Richard laughed. “Oh, no, dude, that’s no bug. He’s supposed to do that.”
Jack blinked. “What?”
“Yeah. They set his carry limit to fifteen pounds.”
“You’ve got to be bs’ing me. You people really limited him to being able to carry only fifteen pounds.”
“Yup.”
“Why? Why, in God’s name, would you do that? He’s a companion, for heaven’s sake.”
“Right. But, you know how we wanted to limit hoarding? We figured it would kind of defeat the purpose if you could just let your companion horde for you.”
Jack stared, then opened his mouth, then shut it again. Finally, he said, “So he really can’t carry more than fifteen pounds?”
“Yup.”
“You know what, Richard?”
“What’s that?”
“You can go. I’m just going to take a nap.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
He did, and he rose feeling hungry. The sun had set in-game, and now the island was covered in a blanket of darkness. Strange chatter filled the air, floating through the trees like some kind of eerie breeze.
Jack shivered. The entire atmosphere had changed in the blink of an eye. Part of him figured he should sit down and eat. But the chatter changed his mind, and quickly. His skin crawled at the sound of it, so almost human, and yet – not.
Migli’s commentary didn’t do anything to help, either. “I wonder what strange manner of creature makes its home here. I should not like to linger to meet them.”
“Yeah, me either. Let’s go, Migli.”
He passed the palm trees without a second glance this time. He didn’t have much inventory space anyway. But even if he had, he didn’t want to stray from the path and move toward those eerie voices.
He walked at a near run for a good half mile or so. Then they reached an overgrown patch of road. Thick bushes and shrubs crowded the roadway. A low, ominous music rolled in on the scented breeze. Jack looked around for some other way, but he didn’t see one.
He wasn’t sure he wanted to venture off deep into uncharted forest or stray from the road, especially since the forest here seemed to be full of the same thick shrubs anyway.
“We should not linger here,” Migli cautioned. “Who knows what evil things live in these woods.”
Jack nodded, and took a step toward the bushes, then another and another. Soon, he was knee deep in vegetation. It was hard to get through. The bushes seemed to cling to him and pull his legs in every direction. Each step was an effort, and even pushing himself he could only manage a glacial pace.
Then, something hit him – something big and hard. Ten hit points dropped away, and a loud, triumphant screeching filled the air.
He blinked, throwing a
wild glance around. He couldn’t see anyone – but he did catch sight of the next projectile. It was round and brown, and flying straight through the air toward him.
A coconut? he thought, about two seconds before it hit.
He dropped another ten hit points, but he got a good, solid look at the projectile. It was indeed a coconut.
“Oh no,” Migli called. “We’re surrounded by monomal.”
“What the bleep are monomal?” Jack demanded. He could see nothing at all in the trees, even as the coconuts started flying from every direction.
But Migli just pushed forward through the quagmire of brush, yelling over his shoulder, “Run, Sir Jack.”
Jack didn’t need a second urging, especially as the hair-raising shrieks started up again. They came from every direction, high and hideous, like nails on a chalkboard.
The bushes pulled and tugged at his legs as he moved and slowed his progress to a veritable crawl. And the coconuts kept coming.
Jack felt his blood pressure rising, until, finally, he grabbed one of the fruit as it bounced off him. He chucked it back in the direction it had come from.
He heard a horrible shrieking sound and felt his experience points climb. Then a small, monkey-like creature fell from a tree. “Ha,” he said, “monkeys? That’s it.” He snorted, pulling coconuts out of his pack. “To heather with running.”
Now, he scanned the trees for flying coconuts. And as soon as he saw one launch, he chucked his own in the same direction. One by one, he felled the monkeys. His hit points fell a little at a time, and his experience points climbed. But his health meter didn’t dip below half, and before long, he’d cleared the trees of monkeys. Or monomal, or whatever.
Then he dragged himself out of the bushes, one slow step at a time, and scoured the trees for his fallen foes.
He harvested eleven slabs of monomal meat, a handful of coconuts, two bananas, and a primitive spear. Then, he made his way back through the bushes to the far side of the path.
Migli was waiting for him. “Well fought, Sir Knight. No foe may stand against the combined might of you and I.”
They ran into more monomal along the way. Jack found he could as easily dispatch them with a blade as he had with the coconuts. He lost a few more hit points along the way and paused to eat a pork roast once his health dipped below half.