land marks and checked the odometer for mileage from the city. The deck I lived on was off the living room and my girlfriend’s house was off another deck next to a sliding door from her mother’s bedroom. I was a little miffed at the idea she had a hot tub and I didn’t. Oh well, my plan was to entice my girlfriend into the hot tub and seduce her with my charm.
I noticed the other mother with the chauvinistic male poodle came every few days and they were always staring at my girlfriends back side. Her scent was starting to drive me crazy. I needed to make my move soon. My opportunity came that very night as all the people of the house left in their cars. I wasted no time in circling the house to the side deck to see my girlfriend. She was taking a late afternoon nap when I arrived freshly licked as clean as I could make myself.
My girlfriend was faking a nap as I softly moved closer. I nosed her face and made whining sounds of love. I moved over to check out the hot tub and found it was covered by a folding top. I hopped on the top and took the half lid in my teeth and although it was a struggle I managed to get the lid off the tub. Twilight was coming and the air was starting to cool down.
My blood was up and I jumped back down and enticed my girlfriend into the hot tub for some romance. We soaked and chatted about life for us dogs. She told me she was bored to death not doing anything exciting like going shopping and taking vacations. Her only excitement was going to the park and teasing the other dogs walking around the lake.
I told her some of my stories and made them sound full of adventure and excitement. Never telling her the long hungry days and cold nights spent living from dumpster to dumpster. I even threw in a story of jumping in the park lake and saving a dog that was having trouble swimming. After she heard that story I knew she was mine. We crawled out of the tub and shook ourselves dry. We circled like dancers rubbing each other until I couldn’t hold back any longer.
Much later lying in each others arms we made love sounds until we heard the cars coming and I raced back to my deck. I had trouble sleeping that night knowing I fooled the French Poodle and would they ever be surprised when the pups were born. I played it cool for the next week or so. Frenchy came when the mothers’ knew the timing was right. I smiled to myself and each night after the first night I would sneak around to my girlfriend’s house and we would make passionate love.
I heard talk one day about yours truly. They were discussing whether to keep me or offer me up for adoption. I doubled up on food as they seem to think I needed fattening up. I like to plan ahead for the lean times or whatever came along that looked good at the time. I wouldn’t mind hanging around enjoying the dog’s life for a year or two, but I knew when my girlfriend had pups, it was curtains for me. I made a promise to myself never to get into another car again. I’d heard on the streets of dogs going into the vets to never return.
Time went by and I left at night to investigate the surrounding territory. My girlfriend had built a fire in me that wouldn’t go away. I played the field every night searching for lonely divorced or runaway females. I came home every morning with my butt dragging and hungry as a horse. I slept all day and partied all night. It started to take its toll on me and after a month or two I decided to go on the wagon for awhile and fatten up. My girlfriend was showing big time and soon she would deliver the shock of mother’s life.
Rested up I made ready for my departure from a wonderful home. Just about dark my girlfriend went into labor. The vet was there in case of trouble and Frenchy’s mother was there too. The expectant parents stood around waiting for the first one to pop out. Meanwhile I was lurking just off the deck with my nose and eyes poking over the edge of the deck. When the first black pup was born shock hit everyone except me and my girlfriend. Then the second and third one slide out and they too were black as coal like me. No curly hair and when all was said and done, they had poodle faces, my mongrel legs and body. I loved them and so did my girlfriend, but you couldn’t have given them away they were so ugly. Mother was in a feint in a deck chair; the vet went through the motions making sure his bank account didn’t suffer; and the girls who picked me up laughed out loud making mother angry as all get out. Then mother started shouting asking where Blackie was and told everyone she was going to kill me. Hearing those words I knew it was time for me to say good bye to their hospitality.
Free as bird again, I trotted down the middle of the road headed for the big city. The air was clear and fresh. I sneezed in the fresh air yearning for the smells and sounds of the city. My first stop was the park as summer was fading and not many days left to lap up some ice cream. With my new looks and a fresh flea collar along with my chain and necklace with my name and phone number on it, I felt bona fide to hang around the park again. My sleek black coat and twitchy eye should please the old folks and with my new found energy, I could do some flying jumps again.
The city was farther than I thought and it took me a day and half to hit the outskirts. Most of this was new territory for me so I slowly made my way back to my old neighborhood. My spirits picked up as I neared the park. Although the smell of rain was in the air, I felt sure some old geezers might be there. I stopped at the edge of the park as saw it was deserted. My heart sank as I was tired and in need of a handout. I wasn’t used to being hungry and my stomach forgot the old feeling. I strolled around the park anyway checking if someone had dropped a chicken sandwich or something like that. Then it started to rain. Softly at first then a downpour sent me scurrying for cover under a big tree.
Jogging down the alley almost to my special place under the porch, I pulled up short as the house and fence were gone! An empty lot stared back at me as I heard an old ladies laugh in my head. I turned around and headed for one of my old dumpster hang outs. The first place I found no dumpster, but a new kind of garbage machine stood gleaming at me in the rain. It offered no solace for a wet dog, so I headed on to the next one I was positive would provide me some shelter from the storm. Turning the corner into the alley stood my favorite dumpster. I smiled at it and I almost could see a welcome mat out for my return. I dove underneath it and was just getting relaxed and dry when they garbage truck came to pick up the dumpster. Man oh man, what a day in a dog’s life I was having. I peeled out and waited around the corner for them to deposit a new dumpster just for me. The truck pulled out and I ran around the corner and much to my dismay, a new type of dumpster lay flat on the ground. I circled it looking for a gap, but nothing but dumpster to ground stared back at me.
My head hanging down walking in the rain I walked aimlessly for hours as night fell and the rain beat down on my once clean coat. My toe nails, before I left the warmth of my deck bed had shinny black shoe polish on them. Now, as I hung my head they were back to the scruffy look before I was lucky enough to be hit by a car. I thought maybe I should get hit again and see what happens, but I soon told myself that I could die if I wasn’t careful. I found myself in the seedier part of town. Few cars came by to splash me and even fewer lights were on in the buildings.
Just when I was about to throw in the towel, I heard some singing coming from near an overpass. My twenty – twenty hearing homed in on a spot up under the bridge. My curiosity led me to a cardboard condo with a tin roof buried in the brush. I followed a trail and inside the condo I heard the singing of a beautiful voice. I knocked on the door with a whine and the singing stopped. I knocked again and the door opened and I stared up at a huge black man with gray hair. In a deep voice he said, ‘Come in out of the rain you fool dog.’
I quickly made my way in and he closed the door. I looked around and saw a small table and chair. A sleeping bag lay on the floor and not much else. I don’t know who his interior decorator was, but he was in need of some major help in that area. I parked my backside down and he sat in the chair looking me over. I got a little nervous as he continued to stare at me. Then he spoke, ‘Well my canine friend, you are a sorry looking thing. Old Joe here will keep you company and my house will keep the rain off you.’
I thanked him for his hospit
ality by walking over and letting him pet my wet head. Joe said, ‘I don’t have much to offer you for chow, but I have some Dunkin Donuts left over from the mornings run to the store.’ He took from a box at least a three day old donut and I wolfed it down nearly choking on the dry bread. I licked my lips and he gave me another one. I showed my satisfaction by licking his hand for some salt. A small candle burned on the table and a tall sack containing his drink stood there with the cap off. He grabbed the sack with his big hand and took a long drink of foul smelling berries. The smell was like sometimes when I walked through a city park some guy would be sleeping on the bench and sack with an empty bottle in a death grip gave off the smell of old berries.
He held the bottle out to me and asked if I wanted a pull. I nodded yes as the donut was still kind of stuck in my throat. He poured a goodly amount into an old smelly tuna can and I lapped the sweet tasting liquid up. He thought that was funny as all get out and I played along with him. He filled it up again and we both finished off a double like amount of berry wine. I started to get a little dizzy so I moved
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