Ella returned just as the tumult of unbridled emotion threatened to overwhelm me—a swift knock preceding the sound of her unlocking the door. She entered, and I gazed up at her helplessly, my face freshly streaked with an unrelenting flood of tears. Seeing me there, clutching myself tightly, she rushed to embrace me. Ella pulled me in and held me close, unconcerned with the filth on my clothes. Her hands stroked my hair gently, and she once again began whispering her soft words of comfort and encouragement in my ear. After a few moments, when I finally managed to calm down somewhat, she released me. As she brushed away a fallen lock of hair from my face, she spoke to me sincerely.
“I’m going to take care of you tonight—get you all cleaned up and into some fresh clothes. The guard who brought you here will be staying downstairs all night to keep watch. And if you want, I will stay right here with you so that you won’t have to be alone, okay?”
The whole time she spoke, she looked at me, and her deep, brown eyes were filled with so much empathy and compassion that I was astonished. Ella barely knew me, yet she was doing all this, spending all this time caring for me. I couldn’t understand it, and I had to ask.
“Why?”
Her tender smile turned into a slight grimace as she replied.
“I was in your situation once, and no one took care of me then, after,” she said meaningfully. “You deserve better.”
It suddenly clicked for me then, and before I could stop myself, the words just fell out.
“You weren’t just lost in the woods, were you?”
She nodded to me, and her expression tightened just a bit.
“No… No, I wasn’t,” she explained. “It was a caravan guard or a hired mercenary, I guess. He found me walking on the road just outside town.”
She paused briefly before a look of resolve came over her face and then she continued.
“He grabbed me from behind and covered my mouth. I tried to fight, to scream, but he was far too strong. He dragged me deep into the woods and... had his way with me.”
“He left me there on the ground, and I sat there and cried for hours. When I could, I just ran away. I was so scared—scared I would go back to town, and he would still be there; scared that people would know what happened and think I had gone with him willingly. And I was ashamed… ashamed of my weakness.
“So, I ran and hid until that Deathless found me and brought me back home. And I never told anyone what really happened. Until now.”
We were both in tears now, tears of pain, but also mixed with the first tears of healing. The sharing of our wounds seemed to also bind them, to bring some closure for both of us. Neither of us was alone in our suffering anymore.
After a moment, Ella stood up next to me. Taking my hands gently, she pulled me up beside her. She looked at me, silently asking my consent and I nodded back to her. Then, she undressed me carefully and threw my filthy clothes on the floor. When she had removed all my dirty garments, she began washing the remaining filth from my body. She worked slowly, gently wiping away the blood and dirt from my skin. And as she washed me, she would occasionally make eye contact, making sure that I was still comfortable with her closeness.
Under very different conditions, her ministrations might have felt quite different. But on this night, and under these circumstances, I felt only Ella’s care and compassion. Ella was providing me with the comfort she had so desperately needed but never received. In doing so, she was not only helping me, but I could tell that the process was also healing some of her own wounds. We had both experienced horrible evils, and together we were able to provide some comfort for each other.
When she finished, and I was clean, she draped a long, flowing nightdress over my head and brought me over to the bed. Then she lay me down gently and covered me with the blankets before tucking me in.
When I was settled, she asked, “Do you want me to stay, or would you prefer to be alone?”
I didn’t want to be alone, but I felt odd asking her to stay. I hesitated, and she picked up on it instantly.
“I can bring in a cot from the other room if you don’t want me to share the bed.”
I could tell that she wanted to be here for me. She needed to feel that she had done everything possible to help me. I knew that helping me was also helping her with her own lingering wounds, and after all she had done for me, I didn’t want to reject her now.
“No, please stay,” I resolved. “The bed is big enough for the two of us, and I don’t want to be alone tonight.”
A smile flashed across her face. “Okay, I just need to get changed.”
I thought she was going to leave and come back in her night clothes. She surprised me when she quietly walked across the room to the bundle of clothes she had brought and began to disrobe right there in front of me. Before I knew it, she was quickly down to just her bottom undergarment, a slightly more delicate version of the one I had been wearing. As she searched through the pile of clothes looking for her outfit, I simply couldn’t help but admire the form of her body.
As she stood still for a moment, the slight curls of her long, brown hair concealed her face and draped delicately across her shoulders. Beneath those shoulders lay an abundance of softness and curves—curves that were only accentuated in the soft, flickering candlelight. Everywhere I could see, her clear skin seemed to flow from one exquisite feature to another. The graceful contours of her chest rose gently to full, round breasts. Shadow and light played along the pale skin of her narrow waist that provided the perfect contrast to the slight flare of her hips. The elegant shape of her figure dwindled towards the floor with the silky skin and toned muscles of her long, shapely legs.
Fortunately, before my thoughts could wander from true appreciation to anything inappropriate, she found what she was looking for and threw a long nightshirt over her head. Ella then returned to the bed and climbed in behind me.
“Should I stay over here, or would it help if I held you?”
I hesitated again. For the first time that night, an amorous thought actually crossed my mind. I immediately felt disgusted with myself—Ella was earnestly trying to help me in my time of need. I shouldn’t have thought of her that way at all. Even more so, considering what I had just been through myself that very night. I was appalled with myself and resolved my conflict quickly.
I really didn’t want to be alone, and Ella had been a true friend to me, showing me great compassion in my time of need. Not only that, but she too needed comfort and to have her own wounds soothed. My trauma may have been fresh, but Ella’s wounds had been far more severe, having suffered the fate that I had ultimately been lucky enough to escape. There might be nothing I could do about where my mind might choose to wander, but I could certainly control my own actions.
“Would you hold me, please?” I whispered to her softly.
Wordlessly, Ella slid across the bed and snuggled up against my back. I was already under the blankets, but she still wrapped her arm over me and hugged me close. I felt her face nestled close to my neck, and the warmth of her soft breath brushed gently against my skin. I drifted off to sleep as the troubles of the day, and the days yet to come were temporarily soothed away in her warm embrace.
14
I awoke the next morning and opened my eyes to find Ella casually sitting across the room from me.
“’Morning, Dreya. I thought you might want a quiet breakfast, so I brought you something to eat,” she said as she motioned to a small tray of food.
“I can stay if you like while you eat and get dressed. When you’re ready, Marli and Georl would like to see you, if you’re up for it.”
“I’ll be okay, I think. I’m sure you have things to do,” I replied. I actually would have liked for her to stay, but I really was feeling better, and she probably needed to get back to work.
“I’m free all day,” she said, reading my hidden concern. “I have nothing to do that’s more important than you.”
I was once again deeply moved by her compas
sion.
“Thanks. If you’re sure it’s okay, please stay and join me for breakfast.”
We sat together for a while in silence, enjoying the food and the comfort of each other’s presence. When we had finished, Ella tidied up and set aside the tray.
“Now, would you like any help getting ready, or would you prefer if I wait for you outside?” She asked.
I was obviously physically capable of dressing myself, but she was clearly offering the opportunity for me to avoid being alone for even a moment. Understandable under the circumstances, really. In the brief time she had left me the night before, she had returned to find me a broken, quivering mess.
I was tempted to ask her to wait outside. Then I glanced at the waiting pile of clothes she had brought for me. In the entire time I had been here, the only time my chest binding had been removed was when Ella had done it for me the night before, and I had not paid any attention. To be honest, at the time, I was barely aware of her actions. I had no idea how to properly wrap it so that it actually performed its intended function and would likely wind up with a mass of fabric draped around me, serving no purpose. I needed to watch and see it done properly at least once. My mind formed a hasty excuse.
“I’m still a little shaky. Can you just help me get my clothes on?”
“Of course,” Ella replied. She saw through my lie clearly but misread it as an excuse for company instead of my need for a demonstration.
After gingerly removing my nightdress, she began to help me get dressed. The bottom undergarment was similar to the one she had worn the night before and was more comfortable than the bulkier one I had been wearing. But the top undergarment was not the binding I had expected. Instead, it was a bra-like garment, more refined than the wrap I had been wearing. As she began to put it on me, I felt a bit stupid. Of course, all my clothes would be basic and crude—it was starter gear. It should have been obvious to me that better quality clothing would be available. Then, as she moved to cinch the lacing together in the front, her fingers gently brushed across my breast.
A soft gasp escaped me, and an electric thrill danced across my entire body in response to her unintentional caress. I felt her delicate touch magnified a thousand-fold by the increased sensitivity I had been experiencing in this world and it urged me to react. Reflexively, my hands darted up and grabbed hers. I grasped her hands tightly and held them firmly in place, holding them still against the exposed skin of my chest.
I knew that even the slightest movement would flood my body with irresistible waves of arousal and desire. Arousal and desire that I would not be able to resist. A series of slight trembles shook my body as the warmth of her hands lingered against my skin, and I desperately tried to regain my composure. I bowed my head and closed my eyes tightly as I took slow, heavy breaths. It was all I could do to hold still and endure the intensity of the continued sensation of her hands against my skin. But I knew beyond a doubt that if I let her move, let her hands or fingers trace over my flesh in the slightest, I would lose all control.
Ella remained still, mercifully allowing me the few moments I needed for the most extreme urges to finally pass. When I could, I slowly and carefully pulled her hands from my chest and quickly let them go. Taking a step back, I opened my eyes and looked to her.
“I’m so sorry,” I apologized profusely. “You have been so good to me, and I don’t want to frighten you. It’s just that I didn’t expect that, and it caught me by surprise. I overreacted. Please, forgive me.”
“Oh, no, no!” Ella cried. “It was my fault. I should have been more careful. I should have known you would be upset if I touched you like that. I’m the one who should be sorry.”
In light of the previous night’s events, she had clearly mistaken my arousal for something more akin to anger or fear. I admit, I was grateful for her false conclusion, but I knew that I could not always count on such luck. I needed to get these hypersensitivity issues under control—if a slight touch or odd sensation could overwhelm me like that, nearly costing me Ella’s friendship, it could also cause me some serious trouble at some point.
“It’s alright, Ella. Just, maybe I should finish dressing myself, okay?” I recovered for the both of us.
“Certainly,” she replied with relief as she took a seat on the bed.
I quickly finished putting my clothes on, and then strapped on my armor and gear. I couldn’t stay in town much longer, and I was almost certain that this would very likely be the last time I was in my room.
“We should go see Marli and Georl now. Georl told me that they would wait for us over at Marli’s. He said they would be there all day today, whenever you were ready,” Ella informed me as we left.
“Oh no!” I exclaimed as I remembered Marli and Georl being in the inn last night. “I never spoke with them last night! I hope they weren’t waiting around all night for me.”
“It’s alright, I sent them home when I went to fetch your clothes,” Ella assured me.
“Thank you,” I replied. Remembering that the inn had been empty aside from Marli, Georl, and Ella, I asked her how that came to be.
“Oh, that’s easy. I threw everyone else out,” she said with a smile. “You didn’t need any of those idiots gawking at you. I made sure it was just your friends.”
“Ella,” I stopped and looked at her seriously. “I don’t know how I would have gotten through all this without you. I can’t possibly thank you enough. You’ve been too kind… I don’t even have the right words—I’m a bit overwhelmed, to be honest.”
She returned my gaze with a bright smile, then hugged me fiercely.
“I told you my story, so you owe me no thanks. I’ve benefitted as much in caring for you as you have,” she whispered softly in my ear.
Pulling back from me, she continued, “Now, let’s go see those other two. They’re probably worried sick about now.”
As we made our way outside the inn and down the street towards Marli’s shop, a number of curious glances were thrown my direction along the way. I guess it was only to be expected. Last night’s events were a rather big deal in a small town like this, and they would likely be the subject of much talk, probably for quite some time.
Marli and Georl were indeed waiting for us as we arrived at her shop. They both smiled as we walked in, but neither spoke, seemingly uncertain of what to say. Ella, again saving everyone, broke the ice.
“She’s fine, perhaps a bit skittish,” she smiled, as she glanced over at me. “But she’s getting better.”
I laughed genuinely as her humor had its intended effect.
“Skittish pretty much covers it,” I said.
With the tension suddenly eased, we began to talk.
Georl was outraged. He had discovered that Nedd’s belief that I had some kind of a relationship with Georl was the catalyst for the attack against me. Apparently, Georl knew one of the guards well, and they had spoken.
Marli, on the other hand, was simply appalled. She was by no means sheltered and understood the ways of the world, but her halfling people were not quite so barbaric. In fact, one of the reasons she had settled in this small town was due to its generally placid nature.
Yet, despite both their feelings on the issue, there was not much either of them could do about it. In the end, they agreed with the guard’s assessment. The Bloody Hearts would be looking for me.
From there, our discussion moved on to my potential options. We all agreed that none of them were very good, but after tossing ideas about for a bit, we formed the outline of a plan.
I could not stay here in Tula, which I finally learned was the name of this small town. I was also not yet ready to leave the protective confines of Lorida. The stark difference in the power of the foes I would face outside its lands would mean certain death. My only possible option was to stay here in the Kingdom until I was strong enough to move on.
But to do so meant that I had to be both clever and discreet. A difficult prospect, since the Bloody Hearts knew who I w
as. My looks were also not going to help me either. Not only would I stand out as an attractive woman traveling alone, but my features would set me apart as well. The humans of Lorida nearly all had hair of lighter brown to blonde with eyes tinted in shades of blue or brown. In this land, my green eyes and dark hair were extremely uncommon, marking me clearly for any who might be hunting me down.
I would have to travel the Kingdom quietly, slowly gaining strength, all while avoiding detection by agents and spies of the Bloody Hearts. This would not be easy, but to fail would mean a very certain and most unpleasant demise. After reviewing some maps of Lorida, I told them my plan.
“When the Bloody Hearts arrive in town, you will sell me out,” I informed my gathered friends.
A chorus of objections instantly arose, and it took a moment for me to calm them down.
“Please, hear me out,” I said. “I am going to leave Tula and head for Morada.”
Morada was a city by the coast, several days journey from Tula. “That is my plan, and you will sell this information to the Bloody Hearts.”
A sudden look of recognition passed over them, as my intentions became clear.
“They will have no reason to doubt this because I will leave Tula by the road towards Morada and there will be sightings of me in Holly,” Holly was the first town one would pass through on their way from Tula to Morada.
Georl nodded in silence as I continued.
“That is all you shall know, and all you shall be able to tell them. I’m sorry I can’t tell you any more. I trust you all.” I said the last part while looking Ella in the eyes. “But to tell you any more would only put you in greater danger.”
“Very well,” Georl said after a pause. “I can’t help but feel somewhat responsible for all this. I want you to have this… Hopefully, you won’t need it, but you can never have too many good blades.”
Second Skin: Fractures Page 13