We made good time on the road and reached Clermont by early in the afternoon. While the rest of the group headed straight for the inn, I took a quick shopping detour and promised to catch up with them shortly.
I still only had the two traps I had salvaged from the kobolds, and I wanted to get a few more, but Daile did not have any in his shop. Since there was plenty of time before nightfall, I figured I’d check with the merchant here. Even if he didn’t have any traps for sale, I still wanted to use the opportunity to try and find out more about Wil and any other potential Bloody Heart presence in town.
“Greetings! How can I help you?” The shopkeeper welcomed me as I walked through the door.
“Hello again, sir,” I replied. “I was hoping to purchase a few traps. Do you have any in stock?”
“Oh, yes! Hello, and welcome back,” he answered as he recognized me from before. “I usually have a couple of simple devices around… let me show them to you.”
With that said, he led me over to a different area of the shop and showed me a few items.
He had quite a few for me to look over, and in the end, I purchased a second arrow trap and two dart traps, along with some spare ammunition for each. To enhance their lethality, I also bought a small vial of poison to coat the projectiles. In addition to the traps, I got several more trip wires. While they were useful on their own, they also served as spare parts for the other traps. I rounded out my purchases by replenishing my supply of lamp oil, picking up a few more torches, and also buying a tent for my upcoming travels.
As I paid for my goods, I discreetly inquired about Wil.
“So, has your new traveling merchant friend brought you any better goods yet?” I asked.
“No, he hasn’t,” he replied with a chuckle. “If he’s keeping to old Lonny’s route, I don’t expect him back here for another week or so.”
“Well, here’s hoping his stock is much improved by then,” I offered in response.
The news was a relief to me. I hoped that our mission here would take no more than three days, and potentially even less than that. I was relieved to have at least some indication that I would not be crossing paths with Wil during that time. With both my business and inquiry complete, I bid the shopkeeper goodbye and left the store to head over to the inn. When I entered the Wandering Goose, I immediately saw my new companions and took a place at the table alongside them.
“Find what you were looking for?” Khorim asked as I sat down.
“Yes, I did,” I replied to him.
Just then, the serving girl approached with her arms fully laden with food.
“I hope you don’t mind, Dae, but we took the liberty of getting something for you as well,” Venna explained, as a plate was placed in front of me.
“No, I certainly don’t mind at all,” I said happily as I hungrily dug into the food.
The long day’s journey had left us both hungry and tired, so we mostly ate in silence. Once we were finished, we all retired to our rooms to prepare for the next day and get a full night’s rest.
Most of my gear was in order, so there wasn’t too much for me to do to get ready. After I filled up both of my spare quivers, I left the Never Ending Quiver of Arrows to replenish its few missing arrows overnight, and I was about to get ready for bed when I heard a soft knock on my door.
“Yes?” I inquired, expecting that perhaps one of my companions had needed something.
“Um, miss, I’ve just brought you some tea,” the serving girl’s voice nervously called from outside.
When I opened the door, she stood in the hallway, holding a tea set on a small tray.
“I’m sorry to disturb you, but you left so abruptly last time you were here, I wanted to make sure that everything was okay,” she explained.
I wasn’t sure that she had recognized me when she served us our food downstairs, but she obviously had. I waved her in so that she could put down the tray, and once she placed the service on a small table, she turned to face me.
“I don’t mean to impose, miss, but it’s terribly slow tonight… Do you think I could just stay with you a short while?”
I was bored myself, but I didn’t want to encourage the overly-flirty young woman. As I tried to come up with a kind way to refuse her request, she seized on my hesitation.
“Please? I promise I just want to talk,” she pleaded almost pitifully.
There was a tone in her voice that tugged at my heart. Her words were tinged with loneliness and even a hint of desperation. Her appeal recalled my own time spent in isolation, so I simply nodded and motioned towards a chair.
“Thank you, miss,” she practically gushed in relief.
“So…,” I began. “What would you like to talk about?”
“Well, um, I don’t know,” she replied, sheepishly. “I’m just so lonesome here; I hadn’t even thought that far ahead.”
“Okay then, let’s start with introductions. I’m Dae, what’s your name?”
“Oh, well hello Dae, I’m Jessah. Pleased to meet you!”
“So, Jessah, why would a pretty, young woman like you be so lonely? I would think you’d be getting quite a bit of attention around here.”
A puzzled look came across her face.
“I thought you knew,” she stated, with a hint of confusion.
“I’m not sure what you mean. Including my last trip here, I’ve been in this town less than two full days, and this is our first real conversation. I honestly know very little about you,” I replied, somewhat confused myself.
“Oh,” she replied in a more subdued tone. “I thought it was obvious. I even figured that was why you might have left so suddenly.”
“What is it, Jessah?”
“I... I prefer women. That’s why the men here don’t bother with me. That’s why I’m so… alone,” she explained to me hesitantly.
“Oh, I see,” I replied as I finally understood her dilemma.
“I’m sorry, I thought you knew,” Jessah apologized. “I see that I’ve made you uncomfortable—I should go.”
She rose to leave, but I cut her off.
“Please, it’s okay. You can stay for a while,” I reassured her.
Tears were in her eyes, but she nodded silently and sat back down.
Since we shared the same preferences, I was curious how people treated her. I wasn’t going to hide who I was, and I needed to be prepared for any potential issues my preferences might cause, if there were any.
“You said the men don’t bother with you, but does anyone give you any trouble?” I asked her.
“Oh, no,” she replied as she wiped away a stray tear. “Clermont may be a small town, but we’re not that backwards,” she finished with a laugh.
“That’s good,” I said, with relief. The way she had answered reassured me that the local attitudes were prevalent in the Kingdom, and I was encouraged by the level of enlightenment in this world.
“Yeah, the people here are okay. It’s just that, well, the men aren’t interested in me, and the women are reluctant to get too close, not wanting to give anyone the impression that we are lovers,” Jessah said, explaining her circumstances.
“Oh, now I see,” I replied, as her problem became clear to me. “Everyone’s an acquaintance, but no one will let you get any closer than that.”
“Yes, I’d say that’s about right,” Jessah agreed with my assessment.
“Well, that ends right now,” I told her firmly. “If it’s okay with you Jessah, I’d like for you to consider me your friend. I may not be around town much, so you’ll have to take it for what it’s worth.”
I stood up then, and as I spoke to her, I extended my hand; although she couldn’t see it, I had a broad smile on my face.
Jessah sat still in her chair for a moment, unmoving before she finally rose and took my hand. Tears fell from her eyes, and her hand trembled as we shook hands gently. I sensed her fragile emotions and drew her into a close hug, trying to offer her the reassurance she so clearly nee
ded. I was surprised when Jessah grasped me back in return and clung to me for all she was worth. After a moment, she buried her head against my shoulder and began to sob heavily. As Jessah’s pent-up emotions flowed out of her, all I could do was simply hold her tightly and gently stroke her hair as she continued to cry.
When Jessah’s sobs began to fade, I let her go, and as she pulled back from me slowly, I brushed a tear from her cheek. When I stroked her face, she peered into my hood, and her deep brown eyes held an expression that told me of her pain and isolation. The young woman’s vulnerability drew me in, and before I had even realized it, I had stepped in closer to her, and my hand was still cupped against her cheek as our lips met.
The warm softness of her full lips meeting mine sent an immediate thrill through my very being, and I instantly hungered for more. I pulled her into me and basked the heat of her body pressing into mine. Her lips parted, and I kissed her gently, tenderly caressing her lips with mine. Jessah returned my kiss passionately, and our tongues entwined with each other’s eagerly.
The effect of Jessah’s passion on me was breathtaking—I was very nearly overcome with my desire for her. The intensity of her touch made the prior nights I had spent with myself seem like only a pale shadow of intimacy.
Then, abruptly, I pulled away from her and lowered my head, avoiding her gaze. I held Jessah at arm’s length for a moment and waited for the roiling desires within me to fade away before I let myself speak. When I finally regained a semblance of control, I dared to look up at her face again. Her stunned and confused expression made me feel like a complete fool, and I only had my own uncertainties and need for anonymity to blame. I couldn’t afford to let her see my face, or it might it bring the Bloody Hearts down on me. And that issue was aside from any consideration that the entanglements of a relationship might bring to me. I had to resign myself to the fact that, once again, circumstances, rather than my own desires, were going to dictate my actions.
“I’m sorry,” I finally said to her. “I should not have done that.”
“But… you wanted to. I could feel it,” Jessah replied in utter confusion.
“Yes, I did. I won’t deny it,” I admitted without hesitation.
“Then why stop?” She implored.
“Jessah, the less you know about me, the better. I wear this hood for a reason,” I tried to explain.
“I don’t care. You can keep it on the whole time if you like. What’s under there doesn’t matter to me—I know what I feel from you. I can’t explain it, but whatever it is that makes you feel that you need to wear that all the time doesn’t matter to me,” Jessah replied with complete conviction.
Her sincerity was moving and only served to make me feel like an even bigger idiot. She had obviously meant every word that she’d said. Knowing that, I felt even worse about my actions, but since she wouldn’t be dissuaded easily, I had to be blunt.
“There are people hunting me Jessah, and they want me dead. They would do very bad things to you if they thought you could lead them to me. Getting involved with me at all, even just seeing my face, could easily get you killed. I’m truly sorry, Jessah—I’m sorry I led you on. I… I wish things could be different, but please understand; I can’t do this, for both your safety and mine.”
She stood silently and took in what I had said. After a moment she let out a soft sigh before she replied to me.
“It figures,” she said with a weak smile. “I finally find someone interested in me, and they’re some sort of wanted fugitive.”
Her disappointment wounded me deeply. I hated what I was doing to her, and what was even worse was that I was not only hurting Jessah; I was also denying myself. Unfortunately, I couldn’t see any way around the situation. My personal feelings and desires had to take a back seat until I could deal with the damn Bloody Hearts.
“Thank you for understanding,” I responded to her softly. “I know it’s not fair, but you will be much safer having as little to do with me as possible.”
“I understand, I guess,” Jessah said in resignation. “But can I ask you one thing?”
“Of course, anything,” I replied
“Where did you learn to kiss like that?”
“What do you mean?” I responded in confusion when her question puzzled me.
“Well, I mean even with you holding me off, I almost couldn’t stop myself. Your lips were so… I don’t know how to describe it. I felt your kiss through my whole body. I’ve never experienced anything like it before.”
Oh. Shit.
The intense sensory issue didn’t just affect me; it also affected people I touched… or at least those I was intimate with. That could be bad. Very, very bad. The revelation was deeply troubling, and although I couldn’t do anything about it at that moment, it was definitely something I needed to be aware of in the future. What I did need to do right then was figure out how I was going to throw off Jessah’s question.
“I don’t know,” I said glibly, “I guess I’ve always just been a really good kisser.”
She was clearly not satisfied with my answer, but thankfully she let it go at that.
“Okay, well, perhaps its best for me to go now,” Jessah said after a pause.
“Before you do, I’d like to ask you one question too, please,” I said as I stopped her.
“Sure,” Jessah replied with a sense of curiosity.
“You said you’re lonely here; that the people are nice to you, but they avoid any real relationships with you. Why do you stay? Why not go somewhere else?”
“Money,” she replied to me glumly. “I don’t have the money to leave and start over in one of the bigger towns or cities. I’m sure I could have a better life there, but I don’t have enough coin to even try.”
I hadn’t thought of that. She would need enough coin to not only guarantee safe passage but also start a new life in a strange city. That amount of coin would not be easy to come by as a serving girl working in a small-town inn.
“I guess that makes sense,” was all I could say in response.
Then, Jessah gathered up the tray, and as she left, I bid her goodnight and apologized once again.
“It’s okay, Dae, really,” she said, and that time her smile was more genuine. “I don’t think I would trade that one kiss for anything.”
With that, she left the room and closed the door behind her.
I felt absolutely terrible, but I also found myself agreeing with what Jessah had said. I also wouldn’t want to trade the one kiss we had shared for anything at all. The pure passion of that single moment made the whole uncomfortable affair completely worthwhile.
I shook the heavy emotions from my mind as I remembered the journey ahead of me the next morning. It wasn’t easy to keep the passionate thoughts from returning, but after a while, as I lie alone in the dark, I finally managed to drift off to sleep.
30
The next morning, I awoke to a loud knock and a voice that followed immediately after.
“Wake up! You’ve got just enough time for a quick breakfast before we head out!” Broda called to me through the door.
Her footsteps then tromped away downstairs as soon as she finished speaking.
The wakeup call might have been harsh, but it was also much appreciated since I probably would have slept much longer if she hadn’t come knocking for me. I rose out of bed and quickly donned my equipment, making sure that all my gear was sorted before I followed her downstairs.
Broda and Khorim were already seated at a table enjoying their breakfast, and it seemed that the two dwarves were our group’s early risers. I took an open seat at the table and joined them as they ate. Almost immediately, Jessah appeared at my side with a plate piled high with eggs, bacon, and toast and placed it in front of me along with a steaming cup of tea.
“Breakfast for you, Dae,” she said, smiling broadly as she deposited the plates.
Before I could reply, she simply winked at me and hurried back off towards the kitchen.
His tone sounded somewhat judgmental, but before I could say anything, Venna sat down beside me.
“You’ll have to forgive Khorim. He is somewhat enlightened for a dwarf, but he still shares some of his people’s more rigid morality,” she said in a slightly disapproving tone.
“Bah!” He replied offhandedly. “I was just trying to warn our new friend here.”
I had been encouraged when Jessah told me how tolerant the people were, and this was the first note of a different sort of attitude that I had heard. I decided to inquire delicately to see just what was behind it.
“What do you mean by a more ‘rigid’ morality? I admit, Broda and Khorim are the first dwarves I have met. Are the attitudes of the dwarves so different?” I asked cautiously.
I had directed my inquiry to Venna, but she deferred and offered a nod towards Khorim.
“Aye, we do have a bit of a different perspective, you could say,” Khorim began. “Now, it’s not like we persecute those with certain... tendencies.” He said the last with a bit of hesitation. “It’s just that, well, they aren’t exactly the most popular people among us either.”
“Khorim may be understating that a bit,” Venna added, bluntly. “The dwarves have been known to disown their own sons and daughters who do not conform to the more traditional roles.”
“I’ll not deny that,” Khorim replied. “But it is a rare thing. Most often, they are simply left alone.”
“Although,” Broda chimed in, “there have been some notable exceptions. There was even a clan leader who held a huge wedding for his daughter when she married another woman. It was quite the scandal at first, but once the ale was flowing, everyone seemed to have forgotten their objections.”
Second Skin: Fractures Page 29