Jamie took the spare seat beside her, even though he felt her stiffen. He took a long drink of his wine. What the heck—he was drinking excellent wine, in great company, and he’d been invited by the hosts. If Stephanie wanted him to leave, then she’d have to ask him to do so.
The conversation was lively and often revolved around the others’ broods of children. Not that Jamie had anything against kids. He loved them, and he and Stephanie had talked about having a family at length, but there had been things they wanted to check off before they made it a reality. He wanted a great job that paid heaps and was important to him because he needed to help people, and Stephanie had wanted her café. A place to cook her amazing food.
Just as well they hadn’t had any, since they had eventually split up and he hated the thought of any kids of his having a tough upbringing.
He leaned towards her and watched her eyes widen in alarm. “Have you heard back from the bank about the café?”
“I should hear Monday. I don’t know why it’s taking this long.”
“Will you live above it?”
“I will for now. I guess it depends on how well the café does.”
“It’ll be great.”
She turned to face him. “How do you know that?”
“Because I ate your cooking for quite a few years and I think it was the best food ever.”
Stephanie blushed. “Other people have to feel the same way.”
“Other people will, otherwise they’d be people without taste buds. If I can help in any way, be sure to let me know. I’m pretty good with a paint brush.”
“I remember, but I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea.”
“Why?”
She hesitated. “Because you and I are not good together for any length of time.”
“I beg to differ. We were together for a long time. Longer than a lot of marriages and I’m reasonably sure it wasn’t all doom and gloom. I know the break-up was awful but we both made mistakes and, as hard as it is, we have to move on from making each other feel bad.”
“It still hurts, Jamie.”
“Yes, it does. Couldn’t we, though, for the sake of my father and our friends, try to get along?”
Stephanie looked down at the table and took a big gulp of her wine.
“It’s not that easy. I see you and I think about us. I think about things that I shouldn’t.”
Jamie cupped her chin and forced her to face him. “Me, too. It’s hard, but I think we’re different people now. We’re older and hopefully wiser. We can do this. I know my dad would like it if we could at least be friendly—if not friends.”
Conversation had stalled around the table while the others tried not to listen in, the silence making his words seem louder even though he was talking quietly and the music played in the background.
Stephanie seemed aware of it, too. She took a large gulp of wine. “Well, I guess friends wouldn’t have a problem with dancing together.”
She walked over to the dance floor and Jamie followed. It was nothing more than a gesture but he’d take what he could get.
He held her as close as he dared without frightening her with the sudden need he felt when she stepped into his arms. The months since she’d left disappeared. If he closed his eyes, they could be anywhere. Her body, so familiar to him, relaxed into his and he breathed in the smell of her. Vanilla and berries. He’d noticed her scent that day in his father’s house and again at the fundraiser, but this was better. She was in his arms because she wanted to be.
His hand slipped down to the small of her back and he felt her shiver. His response was automatic. He wanted her, just like he always had. He’d been kidding himself that he didn’t. Whatever had been wrong with their relationship, and goodness knows there had been a lot, the way they reacted to each other had never been an issue.
Jamie had been surprised when she’d ended up in his arms, which was nothing compared to how he was feeling as she whispered in his ear. They’d stopped dancing, and for a moment he couldn’t react. Had he heard her right?
“Do you? Want to get out of here?” she whispered again, sounding less sure.
He took her hand and they stole out the side door that led to the deck. Then they ran down the stairs and across the lawn to the winding path to the beach.
The little cove stretched out in front of them and Stephanie stopped.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just want to be sure that you understand that this is only about right here, right now. I need you. Very badly, as it happens.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Do you want me?”
“I’ve never wanted another woman the way I want you.”
“Then are you okay with this?”
“Shit, Stephanie. I’m the guy here. Shouldn’t I be saying that?”
She laughed. “Is that your only problem?”
Jamie swung her off her feet and kissed her hard. Her mouth opened and the taste of her was so sweet, so familiar, that he felt like he could drown. He hated that she only wanted him for sex, but he wasn’t dead. He had wanted her for weeks and if this was all she could give, then he would take what she was offering and maybe, once they’d made love the way they used to, it would change her mind.
“I’m not young enough to appreciate sand in indelicate places, but I know where we can go,” he said against her lips.
She sucked his bottom lip in between her teeth. “I hope it’s close.”
“Not too far.” Putting her back on her feet, he took her hand once more. “Come on, then.” He pulled her along the beach and soon they were both running again.
At the far end of the beach there was a jetty and they ran to the far end of it, stopping at the berth of Jamie’s father boat. It wasn’t a big boat, but it had a cabin and what was even better—a double bed.
Jamie climbed aboard and held his hand out to help Stephanie, who ignored it to jump nimbly down beside him and went straight to the cabin door. He followed as she thrust it open, the smell of disuse assailing his nostrils. Maybe this wasn’t the best place after all.
Stephanie didn’t seem to share his reservations. She went inside and pulled back the musty curtains, giving a small cough as the dust swirled a little. The light from the moon, shining through the salt-encrusted windows, lit the small cabin with enough light for him to see her face. She stared at him for a couple of heartbeats, and then she pulled off her sweater, which she placed on the shelf beside the bed. She then undid her belt slowly, followed by the zipper on her jeans. Sliding these over her hips, she let them drop to the floor.
By the time her t-shirt joined it, Jamie had to touch her. Taking the step required, he was able to run his hand down her smooth side, then back up to the lace covering her breasts. He fingered the strap of her bra and Stephanie reached behind her to undo it, sliding it down her arms to join the rest of her clothing. Her breasts, now free, were as beautiful as he remembered. The nipples were hard and he hadn’t touched them yet.
With that thought, he leaned down and sucked one into his mouth, his teeth grazing the silky skin around it.
Stephanie clutched a handful of hair. “As much as that feels good, do you mind if we don’t have too much foreplay?”
Jamie was shocked. Shocked that she was talking like this in that sexy rasp she got when she was ready for him. Shocked that she wanted this, and hopefully him, so bad. Then he put his hand between her thighs and feeling the way her matching lace panties were soaked, he decided it didn’t matter a damn.
He stripped in record time and retrieved a very rumpled condom from his wallet. It had been a long time since he’d needed one and lord knew how old it was. Was there an expiration date for condoms?
That thought, and a lot of others, left him as Stephanie wriggled out of her panties and lay down on the bed. He was quick to join her and wanted to caress her but she wouldn’t let him do any more. She grabbed the condom from his hand, ripping the plastic with her
teeth, and began to expertly roll it on him.
Even when he was knelt between her legs, and knowing it would nearly kill him, he gave her one last chance to change her mind.
“Are you sure about this.”
She was breathing as heavy as he was, and her voice was thick with desire.
“Very sure. Now, stop talking.” She sat up and pulled him down to her.
The feeling was indescribable as he slid into her warmth. It was like they’d never been apart. It was hard to tell if the boat rocked them, or they were rocking the boat, as he pummeled into her with all the finesse of a virgin. Thankfully, Stephanie seemed to be in agreement and she rode him like he’d been dreaming of, so it wasn’t long before they were both shuddering with a mutual orgasm.
Falling to her side, he took in great gulps of air. “Good God. I hope I didn’t hurt you?”
“Don’t talk crazy. Couldn’t you tell I wanted it just like that?”
“I couldn’t believe my luck. I wasn’t sure I’d last long enough to satisfy you.”
“Who said I was satisfied?”
Her hands roamed across his chest and she rolled over to lay along his side. She began to roll and flick his nipple.
“Sorry, Steph. I only had the one condom,” he said as he got rid of the used one that had fortunately managed well enough, despite its appearance. Luckily, there had been a box of tissues by the bed.
Stephanie sighed. “Damn it. I should have been more prepared.”
Astonished, he turned to face her “You planned this?”
“No.” She looked away. “Well, maybe a little.’
“I see.”
“Are you mad?”
“No, just puzzled. A short time ago, you hated me. Then here we are doing the wild thing and you admit that you’d organized it all.”
“You make it sound like I’d thought this up days ago, but it wasn’t like that. I only decided tonight. And, for the record, I never hated you. Also for the record, we could do other things.”
Her hand had slid down to his cock and Jamie couldn’t argue with her. If she’d only thought of this tonight, then he was way ahead of her. It may have been a surprise that Stephanie was the one to suggest it, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t wanted this for way longer than a few hours, days, months—forever.
Besides, he was incapable of being angry when she was doing what she was doing. Her hands were intuitive tools that had always given him issues. If he was going to give her any pleasure, then he’d have to stop their amazing ministrations right away, otherwise it would be all about him and he didn’t want that. Not tonight. He wanted this to be about Stephanie, and he wanted to save this memory if this was all they were going to have.
He forced her onto her back and parted her legs.
“Tell me we have time for this,” he demanded, half-teasingly.
She gulped. Her bravado slipping a few notches. “I think we might.”
“That’s good.” Then he did what he could to make her orgasm. His mouth tortured her, while his fingers pushed her over the edge as she clutched his hair, calling his name, giving him hope.
Tears ran down Stephanie’s cheeks as her body pulsated with her orgasm. It was fantastic, but not enough. Since this would be their last time together, she wanted him inside her. Safety was a priority, but that would depend on Jamie.
“I’ve never slept with anyone else. Not since you.”
Silence hung between them for a second or two while he digested what she was saying.
“Me either.”
She looked down at his face and saw the truth in his eyes.
“Too busy?” she asked, quietly.
“Partly. There again, it wouldn’t have been you. I saw no point in pretending with someone else.” He moved up the bed to once more lay beside her.
She took a deep breath, her blood heating at his words. They’d been apart a long time. He was incredibly good-looking. She’d bet half the nurses and a lot of doctors had come on to him. Yet, she believed him. He wouldn’t lie about this. She was ready to stake her life on it.
Her hand stole between his legs, finding him hard already. “Then I don’t have a problem, Dr Morris.”
“So, what you’re saying is that we don’t need a condom. Do we?” he asked hoarsely, needing to be sure, as his hands began to run across her ribs and upwards to cup her breasts.
“I guess we don’t.”
At that, he grew in her hand and she began to show him what he’d been missing all this time. The only thing was, it also made her realize how much she’d missed this. Missed him. Them. Even more than she’d thought it could, making love with Jamie made her feel whole. Made her feel invincible. Yet, she knew it was only a quick fix. Something to remember when he left.
But right now, she would bathe in his desire. Show him how much she loved him. Then she could set him free, with no regrets this time.
Please, let there be no regrets. The plea entered her head as soon as the pleasure subsided, and as if some perverse emotion was listening, it seemed as if she could already feel the loss. Sad as she felt, the tears pricking her eyes, her heart ripping apart, she would have this memory to hold on to.
Chapter 10
Jamie didn’t want to release her hand as she lay cradled in his arms, even if he could. It was curled around his and pressed to his heart. Her soft breath tickled the sparse hairs on his chest, and he wanted to stay like this forever.
He remembered the feeling, this inability to let her go. She’d been all he’d wanted until the day she’d left him. Even then, it was only after she never called that he’d forced himself to believe he was okay with it, while inside he’d never stopped hoping for this miracle.
He’d been besotted by her since high school and when he’d gone to Dunedin to study, it had been only natural to ask her to come with him. He was living his dream to become a doctor, just like his dad, and he had the most beautiful woman in the world supporting him while he did it. Life had been everything he hoped for.
It had taken a long time for that to change, granted. But when he began going out on the spare hours he did have, with his colleagues, she didn’t understand. He’d had this terrible fear that he wasn’t going to be good enough. That he was a fake and he’d be found out. He thought he needed to network with the best of the best so he would be viewed as they were. It had all made sense at the time. Until Stephanie left.
He came home from a double shift and she was gone. Sure, there was the note, but it was vague. At the time, he’d realized that she’d begun to look sad and he’d wracked his brains trying to figure out why she felt things weren’t working out; why she felt she’d had no choice but to leave. He knew she had some valid reasons but he couldn’t see past the fact that he was trying to become the best doctor he could, and get a great job that paid a great deal of money. Then he could look after her, so that she wouldn’t have to be a barista or work somewhere she hated, just to make ends meet.
At the time, he hadn’t understood. He knew now that he hadn’t wanted to, because he couldn’t do what she needed him to. He couldn’t bring her home.
Stephanie struggled, pulling at his hand for him to release her. Instead, he pulled her closer. He heard the sharp intake of her breath and felt the shudder that went through her.
“Stephanie, please, we have to talk.”
With her free hand, she pushed her hair back from her face and looked up at him.
“It’s too late for talking.”
“It can’t be too late. Not when I feel the same way I’ve always felt about you. Not when you react the same way to me. You have to admit that we feel right together. We always did.”
She managed to yank her hand back and pulled the old blanket from the foot of the bed over herself as she sat up.
“You’re talking about sex and, okay, I admit that part of our lives was always good, but that wasn’t—isn’t—enough. Not for me.”
“I get that. Still, there are things I need to say
to you, questions I need you to answer.”
“You should have asked them a long time ago.”
“I wanted to but something always got in the way and then you left. I felt like you would have come back if you’d really wanted to, so I let you go.”
“You gave up on us because you were too busy,” she said flatly.
“I gave up on us because you left. Without any explanation.”
“I left a note, and told you so many times how I was feeling. You chose to ignore everything because you were so wrapped up in your own little world.”
“I believed that ‘little’ world was to enable us to live a life, far removed from Prossers Bay, and that we could have done and seen a lot more of the world.”
“That says it all, Jamie. You were so devoted to getting as far away from here as possible that you couldn’t see how good it is.”
He snorted. “There’s nothing here for people like us.”
“You mean for people like you. I don’t need all the glitz and glamor, to say nothing of the unreal people, with unreal expectations, and narrow-minded views on anyone else who works outside their sphere.”
“Narrow minded? This town is full of narrow-minded people.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because it’s true. Most of the town don’t even acknowledge that there’s a world out there. A world of exciting challenges and innovation. They’re content to live in this backwater and let everything pass them by.”
“Is that so? It shouldn’t surprise me that you have no freaking idea of what’s happened in this town since you first left. The community is thriving. Nearly everyone has a job since the resort opened. You’re basing your hatred of this town on an outdated ideal and how your mother was treated. I don’t blame you, but things have changed.”
“It’s not easy to forget my childhood. They made my life a living hell on the worst days. Only you made it bearable.”
“You keep saying the town or they. Prossers Bay isn’t like that any more. The community that it’s become rallies around the sick and the poor and looks after them when absentee family aren’t around to do so.”
Prossers Bay Series Page 28