“Anyway, so you can tell your girlfriend that she can keep tormenting me and making my life hard here, but I’m not going anywhere. I worked hard to get here, and I won’t give it up easily.”
I’m not sure if Paxton heard me, because his only comment was, “She’s not my girlfriend.”
“I don’t care who she is or what you label her as. I earned this and I’m not leaving.”
He pulled the car abruptly to the side, my eyes scanning the scenery to learn we’d made it to the dorms. When I turn back toward him, he was tense and completely fixated on the window in front of him. His hands were clenching the steering wheel so hard now, that a smidgen of worry rises about being alone in the car with him. And I’m not sure for what reason either….
“So, thanks for the ride,” I whisper, unclicking the seatbelt and hopping out into the cool night; but before I walk away though, I glance back at where he sits frozen in the drivers’ seat. His eyes, as dark as ever, were staring firmly ahead of him as if lost in thought, whilst my own couldn’t help but seek the blue bruise on his cheek that was illuminated by the moon shining through the window. The sight alone of this formidable guy holding so much intensity inside of him was a scene I felt all too familiar with. And whilst I didn’t know what secrets he held, or how that bruise even got there it did nothing but cause my heart to hurt.
“Here.”
I reach inside my bag and hand him the frozen steak that George gave me earlier. “Put this on your cheek, it should help with the bruising.” His eyes slowly turn to meet mine, not wavering as his hand meets my outstretched one that is dangling through his open window. He takes the cold meat, a little reluctantly, but there’s something in his gaze that he too, feels vulnerable about. It’s almost like he doesn’t deserve it. But he takes it nonetheless, our fingers barely brushing but causing me to snap my hand back as soon as the steak leaves it.
I hurry up the path to the main steps of the dorms, only glancing at him again when I’m safely inside. He’s still sitting in the car, with that faraway look on his face, and I can’t be sure, but I can still feel some kind of string linking us together. It’s unsettling, because I can’t let myself be sucked into a complicated guy like Paxton Reed. I buzz Lucys’ dorm number, and she grants me access instantly. I don’t turn back as I hop into the elevator and head to her floor, strolling into her room to find her flicking through her phone as she lays back on her bed.
“Oh, good you’re up. How was the rest of your night?” I ask, setting my things at my feet near the couch that was becoming my second home.
She smiles. “Oh, nowhere near as exciting as yours it seems.”
I swallow glancing at my hands knotting in my lap.
“So….?” she asks, swinging her legs to the side of the bed so I have her full attention.
“What?”
She rolls her eyes. “Come on Hendrix, what happened with Paxton?”
“What? Nothing!” I squeak, causing her to raise one brow at me. “Seriously, he gave me a ride here, that’s all.”
“Hendrix please. Paxton Reed doesn’t give just anyone a ride home. Not to mention he sent Tucker on his way, which was quite predictable,” she adds softly with a giggle.
“I don’t understand what the tension is between them anyway. And why I seem to be in the middle of it.”
She shrugs casually, but her eyes look anything but. “Old family drama from what I know... But anyway, that’s not really the point is it?”
I stare at her eager gaze, feeling a little confused. “Umm, what is the point?”
“Duh,” she adds, rolling her eyes again. “It’s obvious Mr Elite himself is crushing on you girl. Who would’ve thought the mighty would let his heart fall.” She laughs, like it’s the funniest thing in the world to her, but I still don’t understand.
“Come on, someone like him doesn’t go for girls like me.” I nudge my glasses up my nose, and glance over at her knowing gaze.
“Trust me, I’ve known him a long time. We all grew up together and I’ve never actually seen him be nice to anyone before or go out of his way, especially with an outsider of their group. I’m telling you, he has a big old soft-spot for you in that big-black heart of his.”
I shake my head. “I honestly think he’s just messing with me.”
Lucy seems to ponder this for awhile, but I don’t want to keep having this conversation. I may not know all that much about people like them, but I do know that they don’t associate with girls like me. And I’m okay with that. That’s not why I’m here. All I needed to do was concentrate on my classes, get my degree and start building a life where I could finally be free. And as I tried to get settled for sleep, I was denying the fact that the only thing I saw was that bruise on Paxtons cheek, or the fact that I felt somehow connected to him. Like we somehow understood eachother.
And that alone was the most terrifying thing of all.
Because I barely understood myself, or my past, and just had to keep my focus on moving forward. But how could I do that if a guy like Paxton Reed was trying to understand me…? That was easy. I shouldn’t.
But that didn’t mean… I couldn’t.
I walk with Gabe from our accounting class, as he spills intimate details about some guy he hooked up with under the bleachers at last weeks preseason football game. I tried to stay cool and composed, but it was obvious Gabe was more than adventurous when it came to his sexual appetite. Although it was easier dealing with that awkward conversation, than when he added that tonight is apparently the first game of the new season and that I simply must be there to see our team kick ass. There was more than unease settling in my stomach when I thought about a certain quarterback who would be representing said team, that I fought hard to try and avoid the topic. We were on our way to the cafeteria, when I was suddenly overcome with the feeling of not wanting to go in there today. I was up most of the night thinking way too much about a certain broody Arthur Elite, my chat with Lucy last night, and now the extra pressure to attend his teams game now as well. I was feeling way too uneasy about the thoughts running through my head about all of it, and whilst I was more than happy to face my future head on – I was more than comfortable running away from the way he was making me feel. Despite me telling myself I was convinced that his interest in me was more to do with some torment plan more than anything – the thought that he could actually like me as Lucy said, was something I tried to shake more than anything. So, if Amber was really going to try and humiliate me again, I’d deal with it like I did with everything else; but I just wasn’t feeling up to fighting her today. Today, I was okay with running.
“You’re coming tonight right?” Gabe asked, as I slowed before entering the cafeteria.
“I’m actually working tonight.”
“Can’t you just bail? The Academy is known for its’ football. And the guys? They really know how to grip that ball. It’s a good time,” he says as he playfully tugs my braid.
“New job remember? I can’t bail on my second day. But hey, next time…”
He starts heading toward the doors when he realizes I’m not following and turns to look at me. “Hey, you coming?”
“Umm, actually, I forgot one of my books in my dorm, so I’ll head there and meet you guys later.”
He shrugs and heads inside, whilst I take a sigh of relief and start my trek to the dorms. I didn’t mind having time on my own. It was more of what I was used to anyway. When I made it safely inside my room, I fell on my bed face down with the relief I avoided the big-bad elite today. When my thirty-seconds of dramatics were finished, I glanced around my empty room. I didn’t have the kind of pictures in frames like Lucy did of her friends, or the nick-knacks of a girl who’d been well travelled. It barely even looked like anyone lived in here. I took a breath, hoping this move was going to work out for me. You only needed to take a brief look around you to realise I didn’t have a ‘plan b’. I didn’t have some life to go back to, or a past I was proud to fondly rememb
er. This was it. And it meant everything to me that I had this, so I could try and turn things around for me. I couldn’t help but run through the conversation I had with Paxton last night in his car. I showed him my cards. My determination to stay here at all costs for a better life.
And It was a mistake.
I barely knew him, but from what I knew so far, was that whole group would use something like this against someone like me. He knows my weakness now. Sure, I was alone, but I was making friends and that would have to be enough. I didn’t need a loving family to be there for me. I’d always managed on my own, so I could do this. I know I can. But it also meant that I may need to find a weakness of his own now too, so I don’t find myself backed into a corner. Who knows what any of them would be capable of? I needed to make sure I protect myself and my new life here.
I fall back on my bed with a sigh, when a moment later a heavy knock is heard banging on my door. I shoot up, and stare at it like it might fall off its’ hinge. The only other sound besides the loud bang hitting it again and again, was my breathing and the echo off the door through the bare room.
“I know you’re in there Hendrix, so just open the fucking door!”
I couldn’t be too sure that the roaring voice belonged to Paxton, because I didn’t think I’ve ever heard him so angry before. But when he yells again, I’m certain that the baboon on the other side is the god of the academy himself cursing me, and probably alerting the rest of my floor that he was here as well.
“I swear to fucking god Hendrix, open the damn door!”
I swallow, but walk slowly toward it, gently cracking it open and sticking my head in the gap, glancing up at his impressive form while his eyes were shooting daggers at me.
“About fucking time. You busy or something?” he grinds, shoving the door open and helping himself inside my room.
“What the hell are you doing?”
His eyes take in the small space, darting around it like he’s looking for something.
“Where is he?” he demands, nostrils flaring.
“Where is who?”
“Don’t play dumb new girl, it doesn’t suit you. Tucker. Where is that dumb-shit hiding huh?”
I stare dumbfounded at him for a moment, wondering what the hell he thinks he’s doing; but no words seem to form straight away. I stand frozen, door still in hand, as his overwhelming form all but stalks around my tiny room.
“Excuse me?”
“Tucker. Where is he?” He strides to my bed, and shoves off the blanket, letting it spray to the floor and snapping me out of my stupor.
“What the hell! Tucker isn’t here you dumbass! Stop!” I rush over to him and grab his hands, and it’s like I’ve zapped him when he stills on contact. His breathing is laboured when he turns to face me, and I’m thankful to see at least some of that anger has subsided.
“Tuckers not here…?” he asks me slowly, lowering his arm that mine is still holding.
“No, why would you...” I start, suddenly realising I was still touching him and how close we were standing. I pull myself back a few steps before I can finish my sentence.
“Fucking Lucy,” he mutters, sitting on the edge of my bed like he had always done so, and resting his face in his strong hands.
“Lucy? What’s Lucy got to do with this?”
“She was fucking testing me and apparently I failed.” He sighs again and lets his eyes find mine; and in that moment, all I see is the vulnerable guy I had glimpses of last night. The guy, I actually didn’t mind being around, but was dangerous for me just the same.
“Why would she say Tucker was here?”
He doesn’t take his eyes off me as he says, “Because you weren’t at lunch when you have been there everyday since you walked through those academy gates. At the same table, in the same seat, across from Lucy. And he wasn’t at lunch.” His eyes still don’t move an inch from mine, but only seem to grow more intense, making me hold my breath. “And Lucy was testing me to see if I’d care if she said he were here with you.” He stands, and takes slow, labored steps toward me until my neck was stretched all the way back looking up at him hovering over me. My heart beating so hard in my chest from the unnerving way he was staring at me, that I couldn’t form words. I could barely take a much-needed breath either.
“And I’d care. I’d fucking care if he were here alright.”
It was so much of a deadly whisper; like he hated the fact that he was admitting it out loud but had to nonetheless. But as he pushed my glasses softly up my face, his hand lingered on my cheek before fanning and sliding all the way down my braid, leaving a heated trail in its’ path.
“Why would you care who I was spending time with,” I mutter, unable to construct anything further.
“Because Tucker is not good enough for you.”
I can’t comprehend the words he’s saying when all I hear is that someone like me wasn’t good enough. The same way my father told me from the time I could understand his harsh words. I was never good enough. Not for him, not for a family, not for anyone. Ever.
“Right. No-ones good enough for the scholarship girl. I get it,” I move my eyes away from him, and at the same time he grips my chin and tilts my face toward his.
“No, none of these stuck-up assholes are good enough for you. You are too real in a world full of phonies, and you don’t even see it.”
The desperation in his eyes tells me that nothing I say would meet any expectation right now so when I open my mouth to say something, I’m cut off by Paxtons mouth pressing urgently against mine. And for a second, I wonder if it’s something I want, because it takes me only a second to register that I need to push him off. But when I reach up to do just that, I find myself gripping his shirt tighter in my fist and pulling him closer. He moans, intensifying the kiss. Our bodies and lips pressed so close together, that my entire body feels like it’s on fire. I’ve been kissed before sure, but not like this. Never like this. It’s like he’s taking ownership of something even I didn’t understand. But when my brain registers who is igniting these flames inside me, I abruptly pull away and touch my swollen lips. I can’t believe I let him kiss me. Why did I let him kiss me? I take a step back, half expecting a look of satisfaction on his face, like maybe this was a game to him all along, but all I see is longing. Like the predator was coming back for a second strike to finish the kill.
I shake my head, utterly terrified like the very prey I felt like in that moment.
And it wasn’t of him.
It’s of what I would do if he came back for more.
He nods, like he understands; a tiny, genuine smile softening his brutally, handsome face. He takes a step toward me once more and cups my cheek; swallowing it in his large hand like he’s handling a precious stone he doesn’t want to spoil. His eyes roam my entire face with a new kind of appreciation somehow, which was doing nothing but making my stomach flip in somersaults.
“I’ll see you at the game tonight Hendrix.” The look he gives me before he presses a soft kiss to my hair and walks out, is something I’ll never forget for as long as I live. Because if I ever thought someone could look at me like they cared about me – that was the look I’d never witnessed until this very day.
A look that said he cared. A look that said I mattered.
And a look, that scared the living hell out of me.
Chapter Sixteen
Paxton
I had to book it to football training, which I was running late for now after I spent the last five minutes going through that kiss with Hendrix in her room not nearly ten minutes ago. We always have our team meetings the afternoon before our games, and it’s the only thing I used to live for. I know I’ve wanted to taste her since I laid eyes on her that very first day; although I wouldn’t admit that to myself at all. But if I thought that maybe once I’d had her I’d fuck this stupid fascination of her out of my system - I was so fucking wrong. What I wouldn’t give to go back and kiss the shit out of her some more right now. I’v
e never given a second thought to anything in this place except football, and the one thing I’ve fought my father for my entire life is just that. But as I bite my bottom lip, just remembering the tiny sounds she made and the way she felt against me – I’m willing to miss it if it means spending more time with her in that room.
Fuck this was a mess.
And me telling her I’ll see her at the game tonight? What the hell was that about? I lose my goddamn head when I’m around her, sprouting shit and making promises to her and myself that I know I can’t keep. Not until I sort the rest of my shit-storm of a life out at least. I lean my weight against the dorm brick-wall, trying to catch my breath and get my head in the game for training, when I feel a pair of hands snake their way from my navel up my chest.
“You’re tense babe, need help with that?”
I turn, removing her hands from me as I do so. “Amber.”
“Paxy, we don’t need to be so formal. Not now when we are engaged and all.” She flashes a ring at me from that finger and I show the cocky indifference like I practiced so many times it’s second nature to me.
“Congratulations. Who’s the lucky guy?” I smart. “Because I didn’t fucking give that to you.”
“Well, it wasn’t Paxton Reed, but someone with the same last name sure did. It’s basically official now, so we don’t need to hide it anymore.”
She reaches up and runs her hands through my hair, but I grab her arms to stop her.
“Don’t tell me what to do Amber. Know your place.”
She smiles, “Oh babe, I do know my place, and it’s in your bed, beside you, doing whatever the hell you want me to.” She reaches up and licks my cheek, right before I shove her backwards so there’s some distance between us.
“Well from the predicament you’re in, I’d say you’ve been warming some other fucks bed. So, what makes you think I’d want to make a whore my actual wife?” I snarl harshly.
“Oh, you know you’ve always been the one. I can’t help it if I needed some love while you were confused.”
Broken Wing (Arthur Academy Book 1) Page 11