It was the first moment when I could actually stop and take a breath but I wasn’t sure if I could, so it was just after two in the morning and I was sitting by the window with two great views to capture my heart.
The first view was of my man sleeping in the king-size bed in the center of the room. We didn’t have to be quiet here earlier when we had sex and I made him think I was going to drift off to sleep in his arms.
This room was on the other side of the house in what I thought classed as a wing. Or at the very least an apartment style setting fit for a couple. This was Xander’s old room. He’d told me when he’d first moved here Jack had set it up so it was like he could have his own privacy and space.
I came from wealth so I knew what space was. This was definitely comparable to that, just cleaner.
Cleaner like the view before me of the landscape.
I loved it from the second we’d entered Idaho. I’d never been here before but it was just the place where an artist like me could fall in love with the landscape. Definitely fall in love.
I fell and now I was taking every opportunity I could get.
The thing I thought of first was that painting I’d promised Xander. I didn’t have my paints or anything but what I did have was a good old number two pencil and a large notepad I’d found earlier. Jack gave it to me when he saw me looking at it. I’d told him I was an artist.
Since I couldn’t sleep and it didn’t look like I was going to bed any time soon, I wanted to make use of the time.
I drew Xander standing by the lake.
All from my imagination and what I’d conjured up even though I was staring out at the lake now and it couldn’t have been darker outside. I’d drawn the parts illuminated by the moon.
That was it, just those parts and I imagined what they must have been like in the sunlight with Xander standing next to them.
I gave him a half smile. He never fully smiled at anything except for when he was flirting or being charming, or cocky. Or when I took my clothes off.
Most of the time it was a half-smile, almost like he was showing that he took note of something to smile at, but holding off to maintain that cool edge.
I looked over to him and watched him sleep. Deep in slumber he was, looking like he needed it. I supposed we all did really and I should be sleeping too.
I returned my gaze to the shadows of night outside the window and the smooth breath of wind that rippled over the lake. It made me think of Pa, what he must have been doing now.
I could almost feel his worry. Worry over me.
No, not almost. I could feel it, no matter how far we were I could feel it.
This would have been the first time in my life that I’d done this, and realistically this was the very thing that I’d thought of doing weeks ago. Escaping.
I’d wanted to escape his controlling hand.
My sketchy plan had been to take small amounts of cash every other day in a week from my account so he wouldn’t notice. Then I’d make a move and run off. Pa was clever though. He stopped me right in my damn tracks with that plan. It was at that point too, that I realized just how bad things were. That something else, or rather something more than usual was going on.
That something led me here.
Here as in right now, as I wondered if it was fair to allow not just Xander but Frankie to be part of this fiasco. The crux of the matter was we were now running from my father. Because of me.
If Pa found us he wouldn’t hesitate to kill Xander and Frankie.
Death.
It would always come back to that, somewhere in the mix it would come back to that.
Death and dying. Was it fair to be selfish with the man I loved when realistically this probably would never be over?
That was why I was jealous of Claire. She didn’t come from a bad seed. She didn’t come from bad. Everything here was goodness. Everything in pureness.
Xander shuffled in the bed. I turned to look at him and smiled when his hands reached over to the space where I’d laid beside him.
“Baby…” He breathed and shuffled to sit up.
He looked straight at me. The moonlight lit him up and just like the other night, he looked perfect.
He slipped off the bed showing off that body of his. In his Calvin Klein’s, that walking advert came to my mind again.
“Jia what are you doing? You should…” His voice trailed off when he saw my drawing. He looked at me and smiled, then pulled up the other chair to sit in front of me.
I handed him the sketch pad when he reached for it.
“Jia, this is amazing. I’m always blown away by your talent.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you like it because it’s yours.”
He raised his brows and smiled wide.
An unexpected smile. I forgot and now thought I had to give more credit to his smile where it was due… he smiled like that when he was with me.
Yes… that was more accurate. He smiled showing me his soul when he was with me.
“My damn, Jia you never cease to amaze me. I love it.”
“It’s not quite finished yet.”
“What more could you do to it?” He looked intrigued to know.
“It’s just little finishing touches. Like here.” I pointed at the drawing and hovered over the right side of his face there. “You have a dimple. It comes out when you’re smiling like that. Just that one though. The left comes out when you smile wider then it reaches your eyes.”
Now he looked fascinated. “You memorized all that about me?”
“I did. So I want it to look perfect.” Just in case…
It was a dark afterthought. Just in case something happened and this was all he had to remember me by, or just in case the worst happened to all of us.
He set the sketchpad down and took my hands into his.
“What’s up? The drawing is amazing but I know you wouldn’t just be here sitting by the window drawing me at two in the morning. It’s maybe a stupid question to ask but I’m asking. I want you to talk to me.”
“It’s everything Xander.”
“Want to start with one of those things?”
Like the comparisons I’d been making between myself and Claire? I probably shouldn’t start with that.
“It’s understandable if you feel strange being here. I mean in Jack’s house, and he was Claire’s father.”
He’d read my mind.
I pulled in a breath. “Am I that transparent?” I gave him a hopeless smile.
“Not so much, but I imagined you might feel like that. I kind of did earlier, so it’s understandable. It’s natural.”
“I think part of me wonders –dare I hope we pull through this –how I’ll fair in comparison to someone you loved practically your whole life. It was long enough right? Long enough to be classed as a lifetime. We haven’t known each other like that. I know I love you, but I can’t be like her. My father is a mob boss and hers is this awesome person. I’m just –” He stopped my next words with a kiss.
It was a kiss to seal all. The kind that set the tone for what we did next. He reached forward and smoothed his hands behind my head, angling my face so he could deepen the kiss.
I cupped his face and moved closer to him, pressing against him. I was wearing a t-shirt. It was one of his old ones so it caught me at the edge of my hips and looked more like a night shirt.
When that came off I knew we’d be heading straight back to the bed.
No more words needed to be spoken.
I understood that he was showing me how he felt and I allowed him to.
He picked me up and carried me over to the bed, setting me down on my back then sliding off my panties.
Instead of the usual teasings and insane foreplay, he touched me differently.
More sensual, more purposeful.
He lowered to the valley between my breasts and kissed his way across to each nipple to suck just hard enough and long enough to make me wet, then he kissed his way down to my
mound and kissed around my entrance, licking and stroking. It was just enough to turn me on.
The rest would come after.
He shrugged out of his boxers and came back to me, lifting my leg up and hooking it over his shoulder. Then he guided the fat head of his cock straight into my pussy, plunging in deep.
I gasped into the overwhelming pleasure and luxuriated in the sensation of his purposefully slow pumps which were a slow grind into my body, slow and sure then a little faster.
I grabbed against the cotton sheets as the moans fell from my lips. Every time we did this it felt different. It felt better and better, mind-blowing and mind-numbing in every way.
He sped up but going at a rhythm we both enjoyed and got lost in.
“Xander…” I groaned. It reached a point where it felt too good.
It was so damn good I started grinding against his ruthless cock pounding into me. That made him pound harder and jackhammer at the pace he would usually in the wild reckless manner that consumed me and severed my brain from reality.
Fuck, I was coming. I was … near.
No… there.
I arched into the bed and cried out my release. Fire licking over my skin like shards of electricity.
“Good girl, scream if you want to.”
I obeyed, screaming.
He caught my hand and lowered so that his face was eye level with mine and he started rutting into me at a speed that made the tension coil in my groin again.
The speed curated another orgasm comparable to the stuff I’d only ever read about or dreamt up in a fantasy.
The man consumed me, sending me over the edge once more but this time he came too, pounding in me with his relentless thrusts then thundering his hot cum inside me. I savored the feel of it burning up the walls of my core.
We stayed just like that for a few minutes, breathing hard, hearts pounding, my ears drumming from the wildness.
It was amazing how sleep hadn’t come for me before but suddenly I was exhausted.
Xander moved up to be closer to me then cupped my face and gazed deeply into my eyes.
“Doesn’t matter how long,” he stated.
I had to think hard about what he was talking about but then I remembered. I’d mentioned that he hadn’t known me long.
“Do you want to be with me Jia?” he asked. I had to wonder if that was a trick question or a rhetorical one.
“You know I do.”
“Say it.”
I touched his face. “I want to be with you.”
“That’s all I need. All I need to know, it’s all that matters to me, and time is irrelevant. It’s just a thing. You can’t compare yourself to anybody, no matter who they are or what they meant to me. There’s only one of you Jia. Just one and I want to be with you too.”
“Thank you.” I’d never felt more valued in my life. “But Xander, how could I claim to love you and put you through this? Running from my father. It will get to a point where it won’t just be him.”
“I know Jia. I’ve factored that in, but I won’t let him take you. He’ll have to kill me first.”
That was supposed to show me the depth of his seriousness, but it was the very thing I was worried about.
Him dying.
For me…
Chapter Fifty-Three
Xander
I watched Jia get ready, looking like she was doing her best to stave off the worry. She always had that uneasy look when she was worried. It would dim her bright blue gaze.
“Does it look good on me?” She asked giving me a little twirl.
She was wearing one of Claire’s summer dresses. She looked amazing.
“You look perfect.”
“Really?”
“Hmmm hmmm.”
We’d come in here to look for some clothes. We both felt awkward doing so but it was stupid to have a room full of women’s wear and have her in my shirts.
I’d sat on the edge of the bed watching her, focusing on her and not thinking about where I was. Claire’s room.
Jack had kept it the same. The exact same.
Same as when we’d gone to college and practically moved out, both our rooms were intact.
I pushed the thought out of my head and gave my undivided to the beautiful woman in front of me. It was better not to think of the past. Less painful.
“You’re just saying that. These clothes are tiny. I barely fit.” She pretended to pout.
The only reason she barely fit was because of those double D’s. It was a reason most women would kill for. There was no complaint needed at all.
“Baby, the only thing that looks better on you is nothing.” That was truth, only her naked body could rival how she looked now.
She widened her eyes and glanced over her shoulder.
“Xander,” she chided and swat my hands away when I tried to touch her breasts. “Jack’s down the hall.”
“He didn’t hear me, and he won’t see me either,” I teased.
She rolled her eyes at me. “What am I going to do with you?”
I reached for her tiny waist and pulled her to me. “Woman you know exactly what to do with me.” I was trying for lighthearted to cheer her up.
“I do.” She leaned closer to my ear and giggled in that sexy way that I loved. “I plan to do a lot with you when you get back. Including that thing you really like.”
Now it was my turn to widen my eyes since I loved everything she did to me. She could do it all.
“I need to hurry back then.”
“Yes I agree, you definitely need to hurry back.”
I drew her down for a kiss.
I was going to see Jack’s contact. His name was Dorian Patterson. He was an ex-military man who worked the cyber terrorism division as an senior intelligence analyst. The minute I heard that I thought he sounded right up my alley. I hadn’t had the privilege of doing much hacking in this gig, so this would be cool. It put my computer science skills to good use.
The worry returned to her eyes when she moved away from me.
“How long will you be gone for?” she asked.
“Not sure baby, I’m not really sure what we’ll be doing.” The only good thing was that Wes would be joining me there.
Frankie was going to stay here with Jia and Jack.
Depending on what I found, that would be when I contacted Ethan. It wouldn’t help me much with everything else but I guess I was considering it as my last attempt to help, since I blew the mission by getting caught.
Part of me was hoping for some help with keeping Giovanni off my back too.
I wasn’t, however, relying on it though. It wasn’t their problem or their worry that I’d taken the man’s daughter and declared her mine.
“Then what Xander? I don’t think we can stay here forever.”
“Brazil.” That was what came to me last night. We needed to sort some stuff though.
She smiled at that. “Really? Brazil?”
“Yeah, for a little while, just till it blows over, then Europe.”
I actually saw the hope fill her eyes and a sheen of light fill them.
“Europe? You’d want to go there with me?”
I nodded. “Yeah. We can find somewhere in Europe.”
“Not Italy, that will be worse.”
I chuckled. “I imagine so.”
“Spain is nice.” She smiled and leaned down to kiss me again. “Thank you Xander. I love that you thought of me in such a way. We don’t have to go to Europe though. We could just go somewhere we’ll both be happy. I want you to be able to do what you want too.”
“We’ll talk and see where’s best. Try not to worry about what’s happening. You’ll be okay with Jack and Frankie while I’m gone.”
She beamed. “Jack’s going to show me how to make blueberry muffins.”
I laughed at that. “You’ll love those. His taste like heaven if heaven had a taste.”
“It’s nice. I really love cooking. My mother made sure I could cook,
but she wanted me to love it. Food tastes so much better when made with love.”
“I believe you.”
I stood up and took her hand. We walked out of the room and I closed the door, sealing away Claire’s room. I’d probably never go back in there.
“I’ll come say goodbye, just gonna see Frankie first.”
She bobbed her head and gave me one last kiss before going down the stairs.
I made my way over to Frankie’s room, he was just changing his dressing and looked stronger than he had when we arrived.
He acknowledged me as I came in with a nod. He was worried too.
“Hey pal everything good to go?” He asked. We’d spoken briefly earlier about what I was doing today.
“Yeah it’s all good. It should be. Are you okay to stay here?”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m thinking of where we can head to next. This place is a given Xander. Giovanni can find us here. It’s where you lived. Can’t stay here forever.”
I agreed. “I know but we’ll have more muscle here for a little while. I’m gonna see what I can do when I get back. Have you been in touch with your family?”
“Yeah, they’re okay. No sign of trouble. Vinny’s looking in on them for me and treading carefully.”
That was good to hear.
“I’ll do my best to get back here soon and we can come up with something solid,” I promised.
“Cool.”
He still looked tense but that was to be expected.
I left him hoping we could come up with something more today.
Wes hugged me hard when he saw me.
We met outside Dorian’s house which was just a fraction smaller than Jack’s place. He had the same sort of set up, with the land and lake and the house that looked like he’d had it custom built. It was nice with that homely feel.
I hugged Wes back, getting that emotional reunion feel again. Like we were brothers. When he pulled away he punched me hard in my arm.
“You fucking prick!” He scowled. “Don’t you ever do that to me again. No more ass backwards plans where you get caught.”
I held my hands up. “I know and I’m sorry.”
“You aren’t sorry, you’d fucking do it all over again.”
Game of Love : A Mafia Romance Page 43