Fucking shillelagh.
Would I have waited, if I’d known what he was packing? No. I’m guessing neither Sasha nor Luka were much smaller, and what I’d seen or felt of Tai and Spider? It wouldn’t matter.
Any of them, I’d be limping in the morning.
A little scary at the moment, but I’m a big-picture girl and long-term? I’m the luckiest girl in the world.
I catalogued his other tattoos for later examination: there was a beautiful, red-headed woman with her face painted like a sugar skull on his right bicep and shoulder — stylized, with Art Nouveau influences — and her hair trailed down over his chest to bleed into the Hellspawn MC logo on his right pec; there was the back end (clawed feet, twining tail) of what I assumed was a silver dragon, wrapping over his left shoulder from his back, and the back end of another dragon wrapping around his lower right abdomen — of an indeterminate color, almost a faded brown or sepia. I could only imagine what his back looked like, based on the quality, detail, and beauty of what I could see, but all of that was a distraction. Shit, he even had polyhedral dice tattooed up one leg—
No. Focus, Azzie! I was about to lose my virginity, it wasn’t the time to slip into art appreciation mode!
“You are so beautiful,” he said, almost reverently, and one big hand was cupping my breast, the thumb sliding back and forth across my nipple, sending jolts of electrified pleasure straight to my cunt, which salivated in response.
“I’m underweight so my boobs and ass are nonexistent, and I’m ghostly pale because the sun hurts my skin. I’ve got a thousand little scars from when my skin was super fucked up and I scratched until I bled — they’ve faded a lot but they’re still there. I get raw patches on my skin when my circulation gets bad, and my fingertips and toes get numb so my nails are brittle and cracking. My hair doesn’t really grow but at least it’s healthy, and—“
“Shut up. All I see is you. Beautiful, alive, and getting healthier. Skin like milk, long legs, boobs — I don’t care how big or small, they’re boobs. Inherently perfect. Pale pink nipples, hard under my thumb. Fuck— that little patch of red hair is like a big, shiny red button tempting me to push it… don’t care if it launches nukes, glowing red buttons must be pushed. Fuck—”
He sounded almost desperate, and then I was up in his arms, being carried to the bed, laid down on it so carefully like I was made of paper-thin porcelain. He was kneeling beside me, sitting back on his heels, just studying me in the warm glow of the lamplight as much as I was studying him. The way it limned him, the play of light and shadow on that body… fucking art.
That cock, like a goddamn club, as thick as my wrist.
I shivered. I wasn’t cold.
“Are you cold?” He pulled at the blankets beneath me, trying to work them down while we were on top of them, which was a bit awkward so I ended up sitting propped up on my elbows, wiggling various parts as I tried to lift them out of the way while he leaned over me — the heat of his body, the feel of his skin brushing mine—
“Sev, I’m fine. Just… please—? Lay on top of me? I want to feel all of you against me.”
He smiled and nodded, eager, and moved to lay down beside me, half covering me, and I got impatient with his overly solicitous care, grumbling in the back of my throat as I squirmed and tugged on his arm, insistent, forcing him to move more of his body onto mine until I finally had him where I wanted him: lying in the cradle of my legs, my knees squeezing his hips, feeling his battering ram pressed between us. His elbows rested on the pillow on either side of my head, and he hovered over me, murmuring how much he loved me between soft kisses.
I ran my hands up his back, scratching my nails lightly over the planes of muscles, then back down again. I grasped his ass in both hands, squeezing, and whispered, “I’m such a fucking liar. Five stars, Sev. Since day one.”
He chuckled, flexing beneath my grasp, and kissed me again. “I know.”
“You gonna do me now?” I giggled against his mouth. “Please? I’m a girl with needs, Sev, and I really want—”
There was a soft knock on the door, a warning shot across the bow, and then it opened. Tai came in and froze, staring at us.
We got the covers out from under me, but we never quite managed to pull them up.
“Uh— I’ll just— I’m gonna—”
“Wait!” My eyes met Sev’s, and he winked at me, one side of his mouth curling up, and gave me a tiny nod. “Don’t leave. I mean— if you really don’t want to be here, but we haven’t gotten that far and— and—”
“You want me to stay?” His brow furrowed in confusion, and he looked between me and Sev.
“I— yeah,” I said, looking between them too. “I don’t know, it feels… right? It felt right before, us alone, but it feels right with you here too. If you want to stay? This is weird, isn’t it? I’m being weird. You don’t have to—”
“I’ll stay,” he said, peeling off his shirt as he approached the bed, leaning down to unfasten his boots and kick them off. He backtracked, flicked the lock on the door, and then crossed back towards us losing his pants and socks on the way. Ho-leeeeee shit.
Fucking magnificent. Perfect specimen of manhood—
“Hey, if the perfect specimen of manhood is going to stay and watch me pop your cherry,” Sev grumbled, “could you at least focus on me while I’m doing it?”
“Uh… sorry,” I flinched, but he kissed the tip of my nose and chuckled.
“Just kidding. You were ogling me a minute ago, and I’m a pretty confident dude,” he grinned at me, “and not to mention that I’m the one about to roll a crit here, so feel free to check him out all you want.”
Tai slid onto the bed next to us, still in his boxer briefs, and pushed Sev’s arm out of the way so he could lean in for a kiss. I think it was supposed to be quick, but that didn’t work out, and by the time it broke and I caught my breath, I was a little discombobulated. It was odd to be kissing a guy and have his free hand in my hair, holding me still, and have another mouth sucking my nipples and two other hands playing with my breasts and touching me. Odd, but good.
Really, really good.
Fingers trailed down my body, going for the shiny red button. “Fuck, you’re soaked,” Sev growled, “I’m not even sure I need lube—”
“If there’s lube, you better use it,” I demanded, “you aren’t going to get that monster into my lair without a struggle as it is.”
Tai sucked in a breath, looking between us slightly confused, and then shrugged. Apparently he was just going to deal with our weird (to him) euphemisms. I craned my neck up to kiss him again, and he obliged just as Sev inched his way farther down my body. Noooo! No, don’t get distracted! No oral, let’s get to the good—
Two quick licks and a satisfied groan, and he was done and ready for the boss fight.
“By my way of thinking, you’ve got two choices here,” Sev rasped out, staring down at my needy pussy that was fluttering just for him. “It’s gonna hurt a bit either way, I don’t think that can be helped. You could lie back and let Tai kiss you into oblivion while I concentrate on the — ahem — hard part, or he could slide an arm under your shoulders and prop you up to watch what—“
“Watch,” I said, nodding my head. “Yeah, no question. Tai? You okay with th—“
He was kissing me again, my soldier boy, almost desperately as he took over all my senses, and any resolve I had was quickly fading, but then he pulled back, his forehead pressed against mine, and whispered — so faintly I could barely hear, could only feel his lips moving to know for sure — “I love you” into my mouth.
Then he was sliding one arm under my shoulders, pulling me up to rest my head back against his chest, and toyed with my nipple almost absentmindedly as we watched Sev get ready to sex me up for the first time ever. I shivered, not out of fear or anything, it was pure excitement.
This felt right. Everything about it.
Sev was kneeling between my legs, stroking himself, watchi
ng us. His cock was so hard it was turning purple near the tip, and the soft glow of the lamp reflected off the drops of fluid leaking out. Sitting back on his haunches, eyes glued to me lying indolently in another man’s arms, Sev had that feral look again, a mix of wildness and determination. He caught my eye and held it, squeezing himself roughly so the metal beads shimmered in the dim light.
“You’re sure?” he asked, guttural and straining — giving me another chance to change my mind.
I nodded, slowly. “Roll the dice, Sev.”
His mouth curled up again, eyes losing a bit of that ferocity. He was back with me, grounded in reality and not living out a fantasy. Giving a contented snort of amusement, he ripped open the condom package and deftly rolled it over his iron-studded greatclub +2 and flipped open the cap on a tube of lubricant that appeared from I don’t know where. His tongue poked out of the side of his mouth as he concentrated on smoothing the silky liquid over his condom-clad dick, then squirted more on his fingers — an incredibly adorable, unconscious expression that sent a surge of warm affection to join the lust and the nervousness I was trying so hard to hide. It smoothed out that nervousness, took the edge off — above all else, this was Sev. I loved him. He loved me. We were about to share something beautiful together with Tai, and I loved him just as much. Yeah, it was probably going to hurt, but I’d been in pain every day for the last five years or so, and at least this pain would fade, and leave behind wonderful memories.
His fingers slid against me, slippery and probing, two digits rubbing lube over my virgin slit and pushing inside me, rotating around. I gasped, instinctively tightening my muscles against the feeling, and being rewarded with a jolt of pleasure. He smiled to himself, humming softly as he added more lube to my natural slickness, stretching me.
“You’re so fucking tight,” he murmured, scissoring his fingers out and I gasped, moaning in the back of my throat. “I don’t want to hurt you, maybe we should—“
“Shut your fucking mouth right now,” I growled, thrusting against his fingers. “If you stop, so help me God—“
“Shhhh,” Tai soothed me, tweaking my nipple and giving it a slight twist, causing a delicious sting to immediately distract me. I tilted my head back and kissed the underside of his jaw, pressing my breast against his hand, wanting more. Sev’s fingers continued to play with me, pushing deeper until I felt a slight burning stretch, causing me to moan into Tai’s skin. He pinched my nipple again, and I bucked my hips, fighting to hold onto the feeling of Sev’s fingers but he withdrew them. I was about to tear myself from Tai to complain, but then they were back, and they brought a third finger with them, and oh God— oh fuck— he roughly pushed them inside me, hard, and the stinging burn amplified.
It hurt, it did, but pain and me? We’re old pals who were about to become fuck buddies, and I welcomed him to the party.
In my short eighteen years on this planet, I’ve discovered that there are a lot of different kinds of physical pain. There’s the stuff on the surface, the minor scratches and bruises that usually come with an itchy sting that wasn’t wholly unpleasant, not compared to the stab of pulled muscles or the ache of swollen, stiff joints. And none of that compared to the pain so deep inside that you knew something significant was very wrong, something you might not walk away from because it heralded potential death; the agony that all you could do was breathe through, and sometimes you even courted your last breath just to have it end.
This? This was a mix of surface pain and light stabbing, an addictive itch that needed scratching but it wouldn’t leave me unscathed. It was going to change my body, this anticipated pain, and I wouldn’t be the same person afterward. And because this was all happening with love, in a place and a time that I chose, I would come away from it almost like a better version of myself, with a stronger, more meaningful relationship with these two men — whatever version of pain joined us here, it was my old friend and not a strange, new enemy. I would evolve because of it, like a goddamn butterfly, and I couldn’t wait any longer.
“Please, Sev, please—” I begged him, mindless and squirming as my body fought for more, harder, now.
“Open your eyes,” he demanded, voice a low rasp, and I hadn’t even realized I’d shut them. I blinked, my gaze locked on his, as he slid forward and used one hand to move things out of the way and one to guide himself to me. He dragged the head of his cock up along my pussy, rubbing it against my clit, the little ball bearings heightening the sensations. He did that, repeatedly, stroking me with his cock until I was a writhing mass of need, and I planted my heels against the bed, pushing my hips up towards him. “Greedy girl,” he chuckled, and slid just the tip into the empty, gaping maw of my Pit of Sarlacc that yearned for him.
I was begging incoherently, trying to force the issue, and Tai’s arms ended up holding me down rather than propping me up as Sev took his sweet ass time playing with me, sliding in just a tiny bit then pulling out again, nudging into me an inch then retreating. He’d look up every once in awhile to smile at me or grin at Tai whenever I was especially violent in my demands, and the bastard traitor holding me back would chuckle cruelly, playing with my nipples and whispering sweet words of love that would’ve been soothing if they weren’t mixed with demands for me to be patient and just enjoy it all.
My frustrated growls had no effect on either of them, except that I could feel Tai’s steel pole of an erection pressing against my hip, a damp patch forming on his underwear, and Sev seemed to become impossibly harder, his hand shaking slightly as he continued to tease me.
“I can’t,” he groaned, finally, looking between Tai and me with a wild-eyed desperation, “I can’t hold out any longer.”
“Fucking fuck me, Sev!” I snapped at him, pulling against Tai’s grip, and then Sev was burying himself inside me, no holding back, sinking in so deep that I think I felt it in my chest. I gasped, half pleasure and half agony, as that tiny little hole stretched obscenely, some part of it tearing apart to accept his full length and girth inside me, and I groaned as his weight settled on top of me. My legs wrapped around his hips, ankles locking, even as my arms clung tighter to Tai.
“Azzie, baby, are you—”
“Don’t stop,” I moaned, trying to lever my hips up. The pain had been so sharp for a few seconds, but now had settled into a slight burn that needed friction, like an itch needing to be scratched or a cut that I picked at, irritating it until it scarred. “Please— please— please— just move—”
He began to rock his hips against me, gently at first, then increasing the pace and force until I was finally getting what I needed, until those little metal balls mounted against his dick began to rub in all the right places inside me, causing waves of sensation and a delicious pressure to grow. “Release your legs,” he panted, holding himself above me on locked arms, his face a mask of agonizing ecstasy, and when my legs fell back to the bed, he began to thrust.
Fast. Hard.
Deep.
“I’m— I’m not going to last— much longer—” His skin was flushed, slippery with sweat, his eyes glowing an almost unearthly blue above me, and I needed him, I needed his skin on mine. I let go of Tai, wrapping my arms around Sev and he let me pull him down on top of me, kissing me sloppy and wet before he buried his face in my neck as his hips thrust and held, his muscles straining, groaning gutturally in my ear.
I held him, Tai’s arms still wrapped around me — one of his hands trapped between Sev and I — and wished there wasn’t a condom between us. I wanted to feel him filling me up, I wanted to be gross and sticky and leaking cum like a porn star, our sweat slicking whatever skin was touching.
I hoped there was blood on the sheets, on his cock. I hoped my precious fucking blood was marking him, staining his skin and the coarse blonde hair between his legs.
I opened my eyes. Tai was studying my face with a fierce possessiveness, like he was the one who’d been my first and was going to keep me and protect me until the end of his days, like he cla
imed me tonight and I was irrevocably bound to him.
He wasn’t wrong. He may not have been the one inside me, but he’d held me the entire time. He owned a part of the experience, all of his own.
I mouthed “I love you.”
He nodded, smiling softly, and brushed the sweaty hair back from my face, trailing his fingertips over my cheeks. I blinked, exhausted, and drifted off, swearing I heard him whisper “Always and forever.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Azzie
I dimly recognized Sev’s weight lifting off me, and a murmured conversation between him and Tai, then I was being lifted up by tree-trunk arms and cradled against a barrel chest. He carried me to the bathroom, propped me up in a warm shower against Sev, and washed me from tip to toe, massaging my scalp and all my muscles as he went. I was so grateful to be able to just work on staying on my feet and not have to do a thing else.
I remembered something, something important, and peeled one eye open and focused on the only face I could see, Tai’s — and exhausted as I was, I could still appreciate the view. Tai crouched at my feet in a shower? That’s a good look on him.
“Yeah, sunshine?” He smiled at me, then went back to running the soapy washcloth up the inside of my thighs with gentle strokes.
“Was there blood?” My voice was raw and raspy, like I’d been screaming.
His hand stopped and he looked up, but not at me. He was looking at Sev, standing behind me and holding me up. Sev’s arms tightened almost imperceptibly and I felt his breath hitch.
Book of the Lost: AAV-07d25-11: (A reverse harem, post-pandemic, slow-burn romance) (The JAK2 Cycle, Book 3) Page 31