“I don’t know how to believe you, Sam. I’ve been…so mad.”
“I know,” I sighed, dropping my hand from her face and wishing for all the world that I could rewind time and be back in the Sins’ camp, right at the beginning. And instead of being content to play Suzy Homemaker with Barrett, I would have searched the waterpark top to bottom. I would have opened every door and jumped in every zombie storage that used to be a wave pool. I’d make sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she wasn’t there.
“There was no way for you to know I was there,” Rose reluctantly said, something about her expression changing minutely, as if she was finally deciding that believing me was better than hating me. “If Barrett lied to you—”
“You were there. You were there in trouble and he kept you from me. I will never forgive him. Ever. The minute that happened, Rose, he became my enemy. And then I thought the only way to save you was to give myself to him. To stay with him to force him to help you and Nolan.” Violent anger hit me like a freight train and I fisted my hands, driving my nails into my palms to keep myself in check. “I would have spent my entire life with Barrett if it had meant that you could truly be safe.”
I laughed—I couldn’t help myself. It was a startled, crazed sound.
“Hell, maybe I would have helped you get free and then I would have ended it somehow. Tried to kill him just so I wouldn’t have to look at his stupid face ever again. Or he’d kill me. That’s more likely, right? Even with this”—I hit my upper chest hard, slamming a bloody palm against my exposed, bruised skin—“thing inside of me, he’d probably have won. Bad guys always win, don’t they?” My control was slipping again, despite the nail wounds across my palms. I turned from her to stare up at the sky, blinking away hot, rage-laced tears. “It’s going to happen at some point, Rose. You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. I’m a ticking time bomb. If I can do one thing before I’m gone, though, it’s finding some way for you to be okay. That’s all I want. I’ve got no one else to care about.”
“That’s not true…” she started, but then stopped herself. She knew my dad was long dead. I’d never mentioned any other family to her really, because there was no one else worth bringing up. It had just been me and my father before all of this shit. I mean, unless you count my piece-of-crap ex-beau.
And then Barrett, my apocalyptic-sized bad decision, whom I’d cleaved to like he was a life preserver because I was so damn desperate for affection. He’d turned out exactly how one would expect him to, because he was an untrustworthy inferno blaze of bastard, criminal glory. And I could still smell the taint of him on my skin, a bitter reminder of good sex and bad decisions.
“See?” I gulped, looking back at her with a weak smile. “You can’t even lie to make me feel better, can you? Have you and Nolan talked about it?”
“About what?” She looked confused. Confused, and small. Standing there under the hot sun, her British skin protesting against the heat and obviously in want of some rainy, foggy weather.
“About what you’ll do if I really lose myself.”
The reality hung between us.
Heavy. Suffocating.
Too damn real.
She blinked slowly, her mouth twisting up, her eyes going a little wide at the bluntness of my question.
And then she nodded.
And even though I knew it was coming, that repair inside my heart burst open again.
I didn’t blame her. Hell, I’d thought of so many ways to end my own life if it came down to it, because I refused to hurt anyone that didn’t deserve it.
“See? It’s only a matter of time.” I looked back up at the sky, lava-hot tears streaking through the blood and dirt on my face.
“Sam, that’s not going to happen.” I felt her move behind me, and then her arms were suddenly snaking around my waist and she hugged me fiercely from behind. “I’m not going to let it.”
I hugged her back, desperately needing her affection. Her love. Her friendship.
“No. Rose, if it comes to it, do it… End me, the monster. And then ride off into the sunset with Nolan. Because, I might not like him sometimes, but I know he’ll protect you. I feel it in my bones. He cares about you. He really does.”
She stiffened behind me, and I took her tightly gripped hands and pulled them apart from around me so that I could loosen them enough to turn around within the circle of her arms.
“I love you, Rose. You’re my sister. And it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. Even if I’m not there anymore.” She was short enough that I could turn my head to the side and rest my ear against the top of her head.
We hugged each other, for long enough that the Nevada heat ate through our clothes and soaked our skins. We were miserable, standing there smelling of sweat and filth from running for our lives.
But we didn’t let go.
“Now, ain’t this a pretty picture.” Barrett’s distinct voice broke into our sisterhood.
Rose pulled back from me slowly, and when I saw the expression on her face, I shook my head minutely.
“He’s not worth it,” I whispered.
“Oh, he’s had this a long time coming,” she snarled, looking angrier than I’d ever seen her. And I’d seen her angry, fit to bursting with lethal rage. But this was different.
As if she’d been holding back her hate of Barrett for some reason. And now that she knew that I hadn’t betrayed her for him, now that she knew I hadn’t chosen him and that I actually hated him to the marrow of my bones, she was ready to be done with things.
Be done with him.
“You knew Nathan had me. Knew I was there. And you didn’t tell her?” She bent over, snagging the gun off the ground, and before Barrett could blink, she had the business end of the firearm pointed at his face.
Barrett smirked, moving to lean against the big RV. He crossed his meaty arms over his chest and looked for all the world the image of carefreeness.
Nolan and Elias appeared out of the RV seconds later. Their gazes went wide as they looked from Rose to the Sins’ lone wolf.
I placed a hand gently on Rose’s shoulder. “He’s not worth it. And until we lose the Sins, we need him.”
“The hell we do,” she growled again, taking a step forward.
I rushed to stay with her and keep a grip. “Please, Rose. We’re okay now. That’s what matters,” I pleaded with her to think this through.
“Listen to your pretty little friend, UK. She’s more a body than a brain, but she’s right. Even with a gun, you can’t beat me.” Barrett shrugged, the smirk still painted across his face, and his gaze flashed to me. No one else might have seen it, but I did. The way the skin around his eyes tightened as he stared at me. Maybe he did care about me—truly care. And now he knew that he’d lost me.
“Don’t talk about her that way, Barrett. You saw her, how good she was. How different. And you did everything in your fucking power to keep her for yourself. You lied. You manipulated.” Rose chewed off each word and spat it out.
“Oh, she liked the way I manipulated her the other night.” He winked, poking the bear.
And Rose?
She squeezed the trigger on the gun without another thought, and me, Nolan, Elias, and even Barrett, were too stunned to react immediately.
Chapter Five.
Rose
The aftershock of squeezing the trigger rolled up my arm and ricocheted through my body and I stumbled back from the force of it. Barrett called out in pain and I took another step back as he glared over at me, his hand going to the wound on his arm where fresh blood was now oozing between his fingers.
“You fucking shot me, Rose,” he gritted, fury lacing every word.
I stared, wide-eyed, shocked at myself. I’d wanted to shoot him, no doubt. I’d wanted to kill him. To cause him pain similar to what I’d felt. I’d wanted him to bleed and cry out. I’d wanted all of those things, but I hadn’t considered how I would feel about it.
I shot a man.
> Not just any man, but Barrett.
I took another step back and kept the gun aimed at him, fear working its way through my bones.
“You should have fucking killed me when you had the chance, UK,” he snarled, stalking towards me.
Nolan pulled out his own gun and aimed it at Barrett, and Elias pulled out his gun and swung it between the two men, and the whole time Barrett stared at me and I stared right back. Both of us knew that I had definitely intended for my bullet to hit more than just his arm. Sure, I was a bad shot, but my intention was clear.
I wanted him dead.
“Back it up,” Nolan said. “You’ll have to go through me to get to her.”
Barrett’s gaze slid to Nolan and he smiled like he’d just won the lottery. “All righty, my friend, I’m good with that.”
“Stay away from him!” I yelled, drawing everyone’s attention back to me.
God, what was I thinking? I hated Barrett with every bone and muscle in my body, but there was no denying that right now, we needed him. We were stuck here in the RV lot with possibly more cannibals on the way and the Sins still hunting us down.
The stark reality was that it was a good job I’d missed his heart.
At least for now.
“I’m sorry,” I said, not an ounce of truth behind those words, and Barrett knew that immediately.
He cocked his head to one side and his grin grew wider. “Almost had a little respect for you then, Rose. Thought you were turning into a little badass with a bad aim, but it seems you’re every bit the pathetic piece of meat that Nathan took you for.” He let his gaze slide up and down my scantily clad body and I hated that I felt practically naked under his stare. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and that fact only made me more flustered. I’d just shot a man while dressed like Harley Quinn after a bad night with Joker.
“We need each other,” I said in a hurry, because if I didn’t defuse the situation, someone was going to get hurt and Barrett’s track record showed that it likely wouldn’t be him, despite the odds being stacked against him. The man must have had a lucky rabbit’s foot or a four-leaf clover on him somewhere.
Barrett held up a bloody hand. “I think I’ve had enough of your help. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I can get out of this little scrape all on my own.”
Shit. I swallowed, knowing that he was right. He didn’t need us. In fact, the only reason he was still with us was because of Sam.
Sam…
I glanced across at her and my aim automatically went to her.
Her eyes were bright red, her teeth bared like an animal, and she was panting hard as she watched the blood dripping from Barrett’s arm.
“Nolan,” I said his name quietly while keeping my gaze on her.
“Fuck,” he ground out, finally seeing what I was seeing.
Barrett must have seen too because from the corner of my eye I watched him tear a piece of material from his T-shirt and tie it quickly around his wound. It was a vain attempt at covering up the sight and scent of his blood, especially now that Sam was pissed off at him.
“Sam,” I said her name carefully, needing her to come back out of this.
She continued to focus on Barrett, her head bobbing a little in an almost predatory dance.
I wasn’t sure how Barrett would react if she tried to attack him. Hell, I wasn’t sure how I would react. What would I do? I wanted him dead, and death by Sam was almost fitting, yet she would hate herself for it. And there was the small matter of…what would she do when she was finished with Barrett? Would she move on to the rest of us? Would she completely lose herself to the zombie mutation or whatever it was? Would she become one of the undead for real? Hunting and killing every last human down to satisfy her insatiable hunger?
“Sam, love, come back,” I said, forcing myself to lower my gun.
She glanced between Barrett and me, her red-eyed gaze freaking me the hell out. She looked like a monster in that moment—like something I shouldn’t even be considering not shooting. There was no sign of the human woman left behind, and grief panged through my heart. A low growl erupted from her throat.
“I’ve missed you,” I said, the words true. “I’ve missed you so much. I thought you were dead. I thought I had no one in this world now.”
With each word, the red slowly ebbed into pink, her features contorting back to something more human. Something more Sam. So I kept talking. I kept pouring my feelings into my words, hoping they would be the lifeline that saved her from herself.
“When I was on the helicopter, and it was taking off, all I could think about was getting back to you. I know we’ve not really known each other that long, but it feels like forever. Please, come back to me. I don’t want to lose you again.” I was verging on tears now, the truth of those words hitting me in the heart and making the sadness grow like weeds in my soul. “Please, Sam, please come back to me, because I can’t do this without you.”
Hot, salty tears fled down my cheeks as I watched her eyes turn to their normal color, and then she was running to me and throwing her arms around me. I was startled at first, wondering if she was about to kill me, but then I felt her squeeze me, and I felt her sobbing and shaking, and I hugged her back, terrified by my friend but not willing to give up on her.
“It’s okay,” I soothed in her ear.
“It’s growing stronger, Rose,” she said sadly.
“We’ll figure something out.” I stroked my hand down her hair, noting for the first time the smell that hung about her. Not just sweat and dirt and fear, but also the stench of death.
I glanced at Barrett over her shoulder, and his hard gaze told me that this wasn’t over. Nolan was still aiming his gun, and poor Elias looked confused as hell.
“Is someone going to fill me in on what the fuck she is?” he ground out. “Because I’m confused as hell as to why we haven’t put a bullet in her head yet. She’s clearly dangerous and uncontrollable.”
“She’s my woman is what she is,” Barrett bit out, “and if you want to see dangerous and uncontrollable, you keep on pointing that gun at her.”
Elias automatically lowered his gun and I breathed a sigh of relief.
She was safe, at least for now.
But she was right: this thing that was growing inside of her was winning. She was losing control more and more, and I wondered how long it would be before she really lost control and attacked someone. Maybe even ate them.
What would I do then? Would I still class her as my friend? Would I still let her live?
I wasn’t sure of the answer to any of those questions, but it was something we really needed to talk about. And not just a passing comment. We needed the truth on how she was feeling and what was happening inside of her.
Another thought came to me… Was she the only one?
Surely if this had happened to her, then it raised the question of whether it had happened to someone else. Had those men really been cannibals, or were they like Sam?
“This isn’t over, UK,” Barrett said, and Sam pulled out of my arms to glare at him.
“Yes, it is,” she said, her voice sounding…different.
“No, it ain’t. No one shoots me and gets away with it—not even your little BFF, Sam. For right now, I’ll play nice because we have to, but when the time comes, you better watch your back.” He said the last whilst staring straight at me, and tension knotted in my shoulders. Barrett started to walk away from us, heading back the way we’d just come, and I looked over at Nolan.
He didn’t look too concerned with Barrett, but his gaze continued to move to Sam, and I realized that for him Sam was the real threat, and me being so close to her was definitely making him uncomfortable.
“Were there any clothes in there?” I asked, desperate to get out of the ridiculous outfit I was currently wearing, not only because it reminded me of Nathan and the Sins and all the awful stuff that had happened back there, but because I needed to change the subject quickly. Everyone was on edge and w
ary of one another.
Tonight was going to be a long and dangerous one for sure.
“Yeah, inside,” Elias said, breaking the tension. “Clothes, shoes, food, water. These guys have been storing stuff since the beginning, it looks like.” He glanced around us at the pile of bones and body parts that had tumbled out of the freezer box. “There’s plenty of food inside, so I’m not sure why they were eating…what they were eating.”
“Rationing and storing,” Nolan said automatically. “It’s like being in a desert and pissing into a bottle ready for when you start dehydrating. They were just being prepared.”
“You say that like you admire them,” I replied, hating how casual he had sounded.
“Not at all. But I understand their mentality. A little, at least.” He shrugged and looked away.
“Well, I need to change. I need water and I need food, so I guess I should be grateful.” I sighed and started walking towards the door of the RV, but quickly realized that Sam wasn’t moving behind me. She seemed unsure and nervous. I looked back, watching Nolan and Elias with worry. “Sam, come with me. You need to change too.”
She nodded and followed me right away. I wasn’t sure if it was because she sensed the danger of staying with the two men or because she just didn’t want to leave my side, but I was glad I didn’t have to explain myself.
I cared about Nolan, a lot, but I wasn’t sure what I would do if he harmed Sam. He’d be doing it for the right reasons, I understood that, but I wasn’t sure I’d be able to forgive him for taking her away from me. When the time came—when she really was a danger and couldn’t control herself—then that was different. But that wasn’t now.
Inside the RV was stuffy and hot. The shades had been pulled down on all of the windows, and I looked around at the piles of stuff everywhere.
Red Eye | Season 3 | Episode 4 Page 4