by Nina Levine
I wasn’t anywhere close to sleep when he spooned me, his arm wrapping tightly around my body. His lips brushed my ear when he said, “I suggest you don’t wear these shorts again, baby. They’re distracting as fuck.”
I should have told him to move back to his side of the bed.
I should have insisted he not touch me.
I should have done a lot of things.
But I didn’t.
Instead, I gripped his hand and kept it exactly where he’d placed it. And I finally fell asleep, feeling all kinds of safe and happy in his arms.
13
WINTER
Sleeping next to Birdie was what I needed. Waking up with her four hours later helped soften the blow when my new reality of life without my father hit me.
She was already awake when I stirred with an erection I had no hope in hell of doing anything with. Not that she wouldn’t go there with me if I wanted it. She’d made that clear earlier. But sleeping with her under these circumstances wasn’t what I wanted for us. When she finally gave herself to me again, I wanted it to be because she needed me as much as she needed air. Because being with me was the only choice she could make.
“Have you been awake long?” I asked as I tightened my hold on her. I wasn’t ready to let her go yet.
She didn’t resist me, allowing my arms to stay around her. “Only for about ten minutes or so.”
I pressed a kiss to her neck, not able to stop myself. I might have been holding out to fuck her, but that didn’t mean I’d keep my hands or mouth off her. Not now she’d shown me where she stood on our relationship. “Thank you for this.”
She wiggled in my hold, twisting her body to face me. She clearly didn’t have a handle on just how fucking much I wanted her, because situating herself like this made it hard for me to restrain myself. “For sleeping here with you?”
“Fuck,” I swore under my breath, letting her go. Rolling onto my back, I exhaled my frustrations. I’d wanted Birdie every day of my life since I’d known her, and being so damn close to having what I wanted but not taking it made it hard to breathe. “No, Angel, for being here. For being you and giving me what I need right now.”
She sat up, crossed her legs and looked down at me. The way she bit her lip and absently pulled stray hairs from her clothes told me she had something to say that she was unsure of. They were classic nervous-Birdie habits. “I don’t know what I’m doing here, Winter. Not as in here with you, but as in emotionally here. And I’m worried that I’m causing a whole lot of confusion for you while all you should be thinking about is your dad and your family. I don’t actually think I’m giving you what you need.”
“You’re giving me exactly what I need. Don’t doubt that. As for you figuring out what you’re doing here, I’m a patient man. You know this. And you know I’ll wait as long as you need.”
She stopped fidgeting with her hair and stilled as she asked, “What if that takes forever?”
“It won’t.”
“It might. And what if I don’t make the choice you want?”
“You won’t.”
She shook her head, piqued by what I’d said. “Don’t do that. Don’t always assume to know what I’m feeling. I’m trying to be honest with you here because I don’t want to give you the wrong idea about where this might go.”
I sat up and met her gaze, certainty radiating from every pore of my body. “And I’m being honest about what I’m seeing in you. Everything you’ve said and done has shown me I’m right in my assumptions about you wanting this as much as I do. And if that makes me an arrogant bastard, I’ll own that.” I paused for a beat. When she didn’t respond, I moved off the bed and added, “You let me worry about me, Birdie. I’m not getting the wrong idea about anything here.”
“Where are you going?” she asked as I headed for the door.
“I’m going to find Max. We need to get over to Dad’s place and find this will.”
I exited the room without another word and went in search of my brother. He was with Melissa at the dining table, in the middle of what looked to be a heated discussion.
Melissa saw me first and shot me a filthy glare. She didn’t waste time on small talk before getting into shit with me. “I can’t believe you, Matt. Hiding stuff from your brother.”
“Yeah, I bet, Melissa. Especially when it’s stuff you would have wanted a hand in,” I said, pushing her so we’d have the conversation Max and I had been avoiding for too long.
Her filthy glare turned filthier and her body tensed. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
Max stood and attempted to stop us from careening down this nasty path. “Let’s all just calm down and—”
Melissa turned on her husband with as much anger as she’d shown me. “Let’s not, Max. Your brother has had it in for me since the day he met me, and I am over him and his shit. If he’s got something to say, let him say it, because I’ve got just as much to get off my chest.”
Regret raged in Max’s eyes. Fury raged in his wife’s. This was not going to end well for any of us.
“I haven’t had it in for you,” I said. “But it is true that I don’t appreciate the way you handle my brother.”
“For fuck’s sake, Matt,” Max said. “She doesn’t handle me.”
“No? Well what would you call it then, because I sure as hell wouldn’t call your marriage equal ground? Not when it comes to our family stuff.”
Melissa cut him off as he opened his mouth to speak. “You have never been married, so don’t you come in here and tell us how to run our marriage. You don’t have the first clue about how to make a long-term relationship work.” Every word she uttered was laced with venom. Melissa was going into battle to protect the control she had over her husband. My fear was that he would refuse to open his eyes to what was going on in his life. Still. After all these years and all these attempts I’d made to help him see. But I couldn’t stop trying. I loved him too much for that.
“You misunderstand, Melissa.” My voice turned hard as I thought about the shit I’d seen going on between them for thirteen years. “I’m not here to tell you how to manage your relationship. I’m here to talk to Max about the way you’ve tried to cause problems between him and me for years. And about how your money-grabbing ways were the reason Dad didn’t tell him about the will.”
“Don’t blame your troubles with your brother on me,” she spat. “That blame lies solely at your feet. You always thought you could blow in here whenever the mood suited and take charge of your family. Then, after you left, we were the ones who had to pick up the pieces of whatever fallout you caused between everyone. You never had to deal with the consequences of your actions.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I demanded. None of what she said made any sense.
She slammed her hand down onto her hip as she let loose on me. “I’m talking about the time you came home and convinced your father to renovate at a huge cost he could barely afford, and the time you caused that fight between us and all your cousins that took us months to fix, and the times you made us change holiday destinations because it didn’t suit you to go where we’d all decided. Oh, and not to mention the hardship you’ve caused our family because you refuse to sell your mother’s home. And there’s a lot more instances I could give you if you want them. You screw shit up all the time for us.”
I glanced between her and Max. “Let’s go through all that, starting with the renovations Dad did. I didn’t talk him into anything he didn’t want; I simply talked him out of what you told him you thought would be best. And the reason why you thought that? Because it would eat into Max’s inheritance. Next, the fight with the cousins. Again, to do with money and the despicable way you tried to go into my uncle’s home and scavenge every damn thing you could after he died. The holiday destinations I’ll accept some blame for. But if you stop and consider your actions in that, Melissa, you know it wasn’t all on me.” I paused briefly before tackling the biggest issue between
us. “And yeah, let’s get into the hardships I’ve caused you guys over Mum’s house.” I looked at Max. “It’s time for you to speak up brother. Tell me how hard I’ve made shit for you guys, because from where I’m standing, I’m not seeing you two struggling financially. What, with the brand-new car parked outside, and the brand-new television I saw on my way in, and the brand-new couch you sit on to watch that television.”
Fuck, I was being a prick to him, but Melissa always had brought out the worst in me.
Footsteps sounded behind me, and Melissa’s glare shifted to Birdie who came to stand by my side. I met her gaze as she placed her hand on my lower back. It was another show of support. One I was grateful for because I’d struggled over the years trying to decide if I was too hard on Melissa in my judgement of her, and Birdie had always been there letting me know I wasn’t.
“This is a family conversation,” Melissa said as she ran her eyes over Birdie. Her tone was condescending, as was the way she looked Birdie up and down.
“She’s not leaving.” I put my foot down. I wasn’t standing for Melissa getting her way all the time from here on out.
Birdie looked at me with uncertainty. “I can leave if that would be better,” she said softly.
I shook my head. “No. Stay. I want you here.”
Melissa crossed her arms. “Well I don’t. And I’m not continuing this conversation until she leaves.”
My eyes bored into hers and I did my best to convey every ounce of distaste I had for her as I said, “At this point, Melissa, I’d be more than happy for you to leave. The conversation I want to have more than anything is with my brother, not you.”
There was no going back from this now, so I was intent on laying all my cards on the table.
Melissa’s eyes widened with surprise and all the bad blood that sat between us. “You are—”
Max finally stepped the fuck up and joined the conversation. Gripping his wife’s arm, he pulled her back as if to tell her to stop talking, and thundered, “That’s enough. I’m not going to stand here and listen to you two tear each other apart.” Eyeing me, he said, “Our father just fucking died, Matt. Why do you think this is a good time to start fighting over all the things you don’t like about our family?”
Regret slammed into me. This was not how I’d wanted this to go down. But at the same time, it had gone down, so the only thing to do was deal with it. “I don’t think it’s a good time, but unfortunately, Dad’s will has left us no choice than to talk about this stuff. Not unless you guys are willing to respect the choices he made to write it and to fill it with what he did. That would be the adult thing to do here.”
Melissa’s filthy glare intensified at that. I ignored it and concentrated on Max. He was the one I was trying to reach. And I suspected, as I always had, that any issues he had to do with how Dad or I chose to handle financial matters concerning our family, were only issues because he knew his wife would have a problem with them.
My point hit home with him. I saw that in his eyes and the way he backed down when he said, “Let’s go to Dad’s and see this will before continuing this discussion.”
He was hoping for something that would never come to pass, but I gave him the time he asked for. Nodding, I agreed, “Okay.”
Melissa eyed Birdie again and spat, “There’s no need for you to come. It’s not like you’re even in the will.”
I was past caring about watching what I said to Melissa, but this spiteful remark tipped me over the edge. No fucking way would I allow her to talk to the woman I loved like that.
Stepping forward, I crowded her space. “You will never speak to Birdie like that again.” Anger surged from deep within me, unlike any anger I’d ever felt towards her. I could tolerate the shit she threw at me; I would never tolerate her treating Birdie badly. Searching her eyes for understanding, I bit out, “Am I understood?”
She flinched at my hard tone, but she didn’t answer me. Instead, she looked up at me defiantly like she had no intention of paying any attention to what I’d said.
I worked my jaw, trying like fuck not to explode. Jabbing my finger at her, I threatened her with the one thing I knew she’d respond to. “You do not want to go there with me, Melissa. Not when I hold the key to Mum’s house.”
It wasn’t in my DNA to make threats like that. And I sure as hell never got involved in petty drama, so it was unlike me to do this, but fuck, I’d do whatever it took to protect Birdie from Melissa’s malicious streak. And as I suspected it was only going to get worse the further we got into sorting out Dad’s estate, I needed to cut her off at the knees now.
My words hit their intended mark. “Fuck you,” she snarled before pushing past Birdie and me, and stalking out of the room.
I didn’t watch her go. I watched Max tracking her movements. His eyes held all his grief and turmoil. And as much as I wished he didn’t have to go through this, I couldn’t change the course we were on. All I could do was be there for him and hope to fuck our relationship survived the carnage.
14
BIRDIE
She is going to rip this family to shreds.
I divided my attention between watching Winter and Max retrieving their father’s will from the safe in his study and watching Melissa shoot daggers at Winter. Having to listen to her trying to bring Winter down had been bad, but with every passing minute, my heart grew heavier as I fully realised what was happening here.
Melissa was not going to stop until she had what she wanted, which was nothing less than Max freezing his brother out.
That knowledge had me even more determined to be here for Winter to lean on. I mean, the man was made of steel, but even he had his vulnerabilities. Family was what would bring him to his knees. It always had been. It was why he’d put up with Melissa’s shit for so long; he didn’t want to lose Max.
“Is that it?” Melissa asked, moving closer to her husband as he flipped through a folder.
“Yeah,” he said, his voice gruff.
Melissa opened her mouth to say something but snapped it shut just as fast. The agitation and impatience rolling off her couldn’t be hidden. She desperately wanted to know what was in that document.
Max looked up from the folder and met Winter’s eyes. I didn’t miss the heartache or the fear flashing in his eyes as he looked at his brother. Silence filled the room, but it was so loud I wanted to cover my ears. And my eyes and my heart.
Everything was about to change.
Once they read this will, the family they knew before would cease to exist.
Max was stalling; it seemed like he wanted to slow everything down so he could hold onto what he had for even just one moment longer.
I felt the beats of my heart more keenly than I had in a long time. The rhythmic thump, thump, thump became more than just a physical sensation; it pounded in my ears too. The moments in my life where I could recall the same response to something were all owned by Winter. Even when my heart had beat so loudly because my father had died, my memories of that time were all painted by this man who I couldn’t help but love. This man I could never stop loving.
Winter took the folder from Max. His brother didn’t resist. Max might have been the older sibling, but Winter had always been the one who had to take charge when things got hard.
We all moved to the dining table and Winter read the will. Melissa and Max sat next to each other, but it was clear, even to me, that they were emotionally as far apart as a couple could get. I hadn’t noticed that until now. I’d been too tired from the trip up from Sydney to see it before. But I saw it now, and I wondered what had caused this distance between them.
It surprised me that Melissa managed to stay quiet for the length of time it took Winter to read the will. Everything Winter had told me he thought his father would stipulate, he had, and while Melissa appeared ready to lose her shit, she didn’t utter one word.
I sat next to Winter on the other side of the table to Max and Melissa, and made sure my chair was as
close to his as I could get. As he finished reading and looked across the table at his brother, I ran my hand over his thigh, resting it there. I knew by the way the tension in his shoulders eased a little that he appreciated my touch.
“We’ll be contesting the will,” Melissa stated with absolute certainty, regardless of the fact she hadn’t consulted Max on that decision.
I wasn’t sure what to expect from him because so far he hadn’t appeared willing to challenge his wife on anything. And since that had generally been the way of their marriage while I’d been part of their family, I hadn’t been surprised. However, he stunned me with what he said now.
Standing, he met his wife’s gaze. “I need some time to think this over.” As she started to speak, he shook his head and cut her off. “That wasn’t me asking you for permission, Melissa. That was me telling you what I’ll be doing. You take the car and go home. I’ll find my own way there later.”
Melissa’s eyes widened with shock. “You can’t expect…. No, I’m not doing that… this is ridiculous….” Her voice trailed off as she struggled with his response.
I couldn’t be sure what caused it, but either something she said, or her tone, or maybe just all the baggage between them, caused Max to snap, “No, do you want to know what is ridiculous? My father died yesterday, and all you can think about today is this fucking will. I can expect anything I goddam well want, and what I expect is for my wife to comfort me, to care about my grief, to fucking put her shit about my family aside and just be there for me in any way I need. That’s what I want, and if you love me, that’s what you’ll do.”
With that, he stalked out of the room, leaving Melissa absolutely bewildered and speechless for once in her life.
Winter pushed his chair back and stood. “Birdie and I are moving to a hotel. I suggest you have a good long think about how you want to play this out, because I won’t be backing down. And as much shit as you throw at me, there’s no way I’ll ever walk away from Max. I will fight for my family until my dying breath.”