“Yeah,” Noah practically shouted as he glared at him. “It's called having compassion. It's called helping your brother out when he can't help himself! You know what? Maybe Benji did make wrong decisions and back himself into this corner all on his own. But that doesn't mean that we have to leave him to find his way out of this mess all by himself!”
The tension in the little waiting room was palpable as they all watched the battle of wills between Noah and Otis. Finally Buzzy spoke up, trying to be the voice of reason.
“Noah's right, man,” he said quietly as he looked at Otis. “An ultimatum is not the answer. We're always telling the press that we're a family, not a band. Well if we're serious about that, then Benji needs to know that we are always going to be here. Making him feel like his place in this family is contingent on him being clean … all that's going to do is alienate him.”
Otis opened his mouth to respond but the doctor suddenly appeared in their midst, and they all stood and rushed toward him.
“Alright,” the doctor began, addressing them all, “we've given Mr. Staffon two rounds of Naloxone to counteract the heroin in his system. One in the field, and then again once he arrived here. He has come out of his drug-induced coma and is responsive. However, his blood work showed that he also has significant amounts of fentanyl and, to a smaller degree, cocaine in his system. The cocaine is unfortunate but, frankly the fentanyl is our main concern. We're seeing more and more of it, I'm afraid. It's one hundred times more potent than morphine, and dealers are mixing it with heroin, either to increase the potency of the high-quality stuff, or to compensate for the lower-grade stuff. Either way, because of its extreme potency, the resulting mixture is a very dangerous substance and has been the source of many overdose deaths in the last several years. I understand that one of you found him and performed CPR?”
Noah nodded his head. “I did,” he said softly.
“You probably saved his life. Any further delay in getting help and Mr. Staffon would have been dead on arrival.”
At the doctor's words, Noah couldn't hold it in any longer. His tears came without warning and he covered his eyes with his hands as he felt Cory lightly squeeze his shoulder.
Mercy went to him without reservation, taking him into her arms as he softly cried. He wrapped his arms tight around her and buried his face in the crook of her neck as she held him.
“Does that mean he's going to make a full recovery?” Mike asked the doctor.
“Well, 24 to 48 hours is the typical turnaround for acute heroin overdose once properly treated,” the doctor said with a nod. “However, the fentanyl may have caused some organ damage. We'll monitor his labs over the next several hours to be sure. And of course, as with any IV drug usage, there's always the concern for hepatitis, HIV and AIDS. Mr. Staffon needs a good treatment facility where he can safely detox and be treated for his substance abuse. I have several good recommendations for you.”
Mike followed the doctor to talk about those treatment facilities while Noah pulled himself together, letting go of Mercy and running both of his hands over his tear-stained face. He carefully avoided making eye contact with her, suddenly feeling embarrassed as he turned away and began pacing the small waiting area.
“Sounds like it's a good thing you found him when you did, man,” Buzzy said, and Noah nodded slightly.
“What were you doing in that room anyway?” Otis abruptly asked. His gaze shifted quickly from Noah to Mercy, and then back again. He had been aware that Noah had a thing for Mercy for a few weeks now. But the way she had gone to him and held him just now only fueled Otis' suspicions that Mercy was interested in him too. And the thought pissed him off.
Noah shrugged at his question, not giving anything away as he held his brother's steady gaze. “I was just looking for a quiet space to myself for a minute.”
“Alone?”
“That's what I said,” Noah answered.
“Why would you want to be by yourself at a party?” Otis asked, continuing his fishing expedition.
“Man, what the hell difference does it make?” Noah countered with an attitude. “If I hadn't gone off by myself, Benji would have died alone on that bathroom floor. Maybe I was just supposed to be there; did you ever think of that?”
“Enough of this petty bullshit!” Cory spoke up looking at the two of them. “We need to talk about business. Obviously, we're going to need a bass player. If you two want to argue, why don't you argue about that for a minute!”
Noah took a deep breath as he looked at Cory. Sighing heavily, he ran his hand over the back of his neck in agitation. “I've heard Joe play quite a bit. He does a decent enough job with our catalogue, and I know Benji's been working with him on our new material. That's where he'll need the most practice,” he said, speaking of Benji's bass tech.
Otis nodded his head. “I agree. Joe's our best option for now.”
“Well, good thing we've got a couple days before the next show,” Buz chimed in. “Give us a chance to work with him before throwing him in front of a crowd of 20,000 screaming fans.”
Chapter Nine
Noah felt emotionally drained as he sat in a chair in his hotel suite. He had come in and sat down over twenty minutes ago, and now simply stared into space, unable and unwilling to move. They had spent most of the day in an emergency rehearsal so that they could try and bring Joe up to speed. He was a talented bass player, and he was proving to be a quick study when it came to their new songs. But their sound was off. It just wasn't gelling. He knew the material well enough but … something was just missing. He wasn't Benji. He didn't have Benji's wild, unrestrained flair that they were all so used to and that was so much a part of Jagged Ivory's style, and it showed. And Noah knew that he wasn't just being sentimental; he wasn't the only one not feeling it. On the way back to the hotel, Cory and Buz had commented on it too. He sighed heavily. They still had one more day to practice before their next show. Maybe it would still come together.
They had gone to visit Benji earlier that morning, and it had been a difficult encounter for all five of them. He had actually cried as he apologized for letting them all down and leaving them in the lurch. He thanked Noah for saving his life, and he promised him that it wouldn't be in vain.
“I don't want you to make me any promises, Benji,” Noah had replied. “I just want you to take better care of you, man. That's all.”
Noah sat mulling over the conversation now, remembering the relief they had all felt when Benji told them he was ready to give rehab a real try this time. He only hoped that Benji truly meant it.
The knock on his door suddenly distracted him from his melancholy and Noah sighed once more. He didn't really feel like talking to anyone, which is why he had closed his door in the first place. And he had told Cory that he didn't feel like grabbing dinner either. Slowly he rose to his feet and crossed the room, intent on turning Cory away. But when he opened the door a crack, it wasn't Cory standing on the other side of it. It was Mercy. And Noah instantly felt his frame of mind shifting slightly.
“Hi,” she said softly, looking up at him with those big, pretty, doe eyes of hers. And he could see the concern clearly visible behind them. He wasn't at all sure how he felt about that. He didn't want her pity.
“Hi.”
There was a small awkwardness as they stood in his barely opened doorway. “Can I come in?” she asked timidly.
He hesitated for a brief second before he stepped aside and let her in, closing the door behind her as she turned to look at him. He stuffed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans as they stared at one another.
“I talked to Buz and Otis. They told me about your visit with Benji this morning.”
Noah nodded silently but said nothing as he watched her. And he could tell that she was at a loss as to how to approach him. He knew that he should say something to help her out. To reassure her that he was fine. But he just couldn't. He wanted desperately to reach out to her. To feel their connection. But he sim
ply didn't have it in him right now to make conversation.
“I've been worried about you,” she said finally. “I … I just wanted … to check on you.”
Again, Noah nodded, but kept mute. And Mercy wasn't sure what to make of his silence. She knew that he was hurting over what had happened, but this was extreme brooding, even for him. It was unnerving in a way. He was always intense but … this was different. Almost scary, and Mercy had no idea how to reach him.
“I can go if you'd rather be alone,” she said softly, moving toward the door.
Without a word Noah stepped into her path, preventing her from reaching the door. “Don't go.”
The words were barely a whisper, and Mercy stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and holding him tightly. She felt his arms close around her as she rested her head against his chest. She could feel the beating of his heart as they stood that way in silence for several minutes. When she pulled away, she took both his hands in hers and slowly moved over to the couch, gently pulling him along with her.
When they sat down, Mercy moved in and snuggled up close to him, practically forcing him to hold her in his arms. Not that he protested. He didn't mind one little bit. In fact, it felt amazing. She was exactly what he needed, and Noah let himself to savor the moment. His heart skipped a beat or two when she lightly placed her hand on his chest and looked up into his eyes.
“Can I ask you a question about Benji?” she asked softly.
Noah frowned slightly and nodded his head.
“Well … I'm not really sure how to handle it on the tour journal. What should I say? Or should I say nothing at all?”
There was a long pause as Noah closed his eyes tightly for a moment, and then shook his head. “I appreciate your attempt to be discrete but … you can't say nothing. The fans know you're here. They'll be expecting you to be their eyes and ears. Tell them what's what. Tell them what's really going on. If you clam up now, you'll lose all your credibility.”
It was the most he had said since he opened the door to her, and his voice was soft and sounded tired and wary, and Mercy's heart went out to him. “But what should I say?”
Noah shrugged his shoulders. “Just be honest,” he whispered. Then his beautiful light eyes clouded over, and Mercy watched as he grew emotional, adding, “But don't make him out to be some junkie! He has a problem, and he needs help. He doesn't need to be ridiculed or judged. Don't do that!”
“No! I would never do that,” Mercy whispered, reaching up to caress his face with her hand, and wishing that she could take away his pain. And she wondered if he would be this shaken up if he hadn't been the one to find Benji half dead on that bathroom floor, or if he was always this sensitive. As she stroked his cheek, he leaned forward, bringing his forehead to rest on hers. And she couldn't stop herself from gently kissing his lips.
The innocent contact was so comforting and so reassuring, and Noah knew instinctively that he needed those things right now. He needed the comfort she was offering him, he was desperate for it. He kissed her with a purpose, his arms tightening around her as if he were grabbing hold of a lifeline. He kissed her deeply, letting his tongue fondle hers slowly, as she melted into him. He wanted her so damn badly.
“I need you, Mercy,” he whispered softly between kisses, his lips grazing hers as he spoke. “I need you so much right now.”
“You can have me,” she breathed, kissing him back with a flourish. “Any way you want me, you can have me.”
He kissed her passionately then, pouring all of his angst and heartache into it. And Mercy matched his passion with her own, eagerly giving him all that she had to offer. He said he needed her, and she wanted to be the one to give him whatever he felt he needed. She wanted that more than anything.
They moved with equal urgency as they undressed one another, discarding first her blouse, and then his t-shirt. She reached for the clasp of his jeans as his hands slid around to the back of her short, denim skirt, and found the zipper. He slipped the skirt over her hips and tossed it to the floor as she kicked off her sandals. And his mind briefly registered the fact that she wasn't wearing any panties as he stood and shed his jeans and his briefs, freeing his impressive manhood in one fell swoop. And Mercy wasted no time reaching for him.
Taking his hefty erection in her hand, Mercy leaned forward and took him into her mouth, relishing the feel and the taste of him as she remembered the first time she had done this for him. The thrill and excitement were no less powerful than they were right now as she took him deeper and deeper. Her lips glided firmly over him as her tongue stroked and caressed him, teasing and swirling.
Noah groaned loudly as he tangled his hand in her hair and savored the feel of her mouth. He remembered from their first encounter that this was an area where she excelled, and he allowed himself to lose all conscious thought for a moment as she worked. And when his legs threatened to buckle out from under him and he pulled away from her, she moaned softly in protest.
He gently pulled her from the small couch and led her over to the bed, turning to kiss her deeply as his fingers unhooked the clasp of her pretty, lace bra. It fell to the floor as they sank down onto the bed, and Noah lightly bit at one nipple as he pinched the other with his fingers. Mercy cried out at the duel sensations, her voice equal parts pleasure and pain. The sound resonated in his groin and he couldn't wait any longer. With one fierce thrust, he was deep inside her, and Mercy cried out once more.
He moved with a steady, pounding rhythm, never missing a beat as he drilled into her over and over again. He was like an aggressive, untamed animal. Every bit as intense and savage as Mercy remembered, and it thrilled her. It was like trying to ride an angry mountain lion, and Mercy couldn't get enough of him. She wrapped her legs around him, and with every thrust, she lifted her pelvis up to meet him.
Noah took the hint, giving her what she wanted as he increased his force, hammering into her harder as he buried his cock completely with every plunge.
“Yes!” She screamed as her body began to tremble and convulse beneath him, and Noah's own climax soon followed. He exploded deep inside her with a loud groan as his body went rigid. Then he collapsed on top of her, his face buried in the wild mane of her hair as he tried to take air into his lungs. He felt her arms close around him just like her legs, and she held him tightly for the longest time.
Finally, he lifted his head to look at her. “I've gotta be crushing you,” he whispered.
“No. Don't move,” she pleaded softly as they stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Then he lowered his head once more, feeling his entire body relax as he allowed her to hold him for a while longer as they waited for their hearts to calm down.
“Oh, shit,” he mumbled, looking up at her once more.
“What's wrong?”
“We didn't use any protection,” he sighed. “I am so sorry! I wasn't thinking straight.”
“Oh. It … it's okay. Don't worry about it.”
“It's not okay,” he replied as he pulled out of her. “I want you to know that I don't do this. I don't play fast and loose with the condoms. I'm usually much better at the protection thing.” Mercy stared at him in bewilderment and he felt like a heel. “Look … just so you know, the last time I had myself checked out, I was clean and healthy, alright? I would never want to compromise your safety.”
“Noah. It's okay,” she reassured him, reaching up to caress his face as he looked down at her. “It's okay.”
He sighed heavily and lay down beside her. And Mercy wondered at their exchange. She suspected that it was his lingering turmoil over Benji and not his safe-sex slip that had him so agitated. Turning on her side, she propped herself up on her elbow and looked at him. He seemed a lot less despondent now than he was when she had come to his room, and Mercy hoped she'd had something to do with that.
He lifted his hand and delicately ran his fingers through a lock of her thick, silky hair. And he watched, transfixed, as the shiny strands faded from
dark brown to honey blonde.
“Thank you,” he whispered, still studying her hair.
“For what?”
He shook his head slightly and then shrugged his shoulders. “Being here. Letting me love you.”
Mercy didn't know what to say. How did she respond to that? Letting him love her? She felt as though she had begged him for it. Had been begging him for it from the moment she had first laid eyes on him four years ago.
His hand suddenly moved from her hair to her face as he gently caressed it. “You felt every bit as good as I remembered,” he said softly, looking into her eyes. And Mercy felt her breath hitch as her heart stuttered into a jagged, uneven rhythm. Her eyes widened as she looked down at him.
“What did you say?” she whispered.
Noah took a deep, steadying breath, knowing that it was now or never. He had to come clean with her. He had waited long enough. Still staring into her eyes, he said softly, “I remember everything about you from back then. I used to watch the doors of whatever club we happened to be in, waiting for you and your friends to show up. I always wanted to talk to you. But I was always with someone else. Until that night.” He smiled slightly as he paused for a moment. “That night changed me, Mercy. I don't know how or why but, I have never been able to get it … or you, out of my head since. You have no idea how often I think about that night. How often I think about you. How many songs I have written about you since then.”
“You write songs about me?” she asked tearfully.
He smiled at her. “I've always wondered if you knew. If you could sense it when you listened to them.”
“Ms. Enigma,” she whispered, feeling the tears hit her cheeks. “And 'Big Brown Eyes'?”
His smile grew bigger. “Among others,” he said softly as he wiped her tears away with his thumb. His smile faded though when she sat up quickly, moving to the edge of the bed as she buried her face in her hands. She sat quietly sobbing as he wondered frantically what he'd said to upset her.
The Essential Jagged Ivory (Jagged Ivory Boxed Set) Page 16