“Robby, you're talking about sex,” she whispered, trying and failing to stifle a moan as he continued to kiss her neck. “I'm talking about much more than that.”
He abruptly stopped what he was doing and sat up, leaving Janie feeling suddenly bereft of his touch as he propped up the pillows and leaned back against them. And he looked her in the eye as she sat up next to him, pulling the sheet up over her breasts. “I'm listening,” he said. “Tell me all the reasons why I don't mean it when I say that I want you.”
She returned his gaze as he studied her, and Janie got the feeling he was eager to hear her argument. “Because it's not just me anymore. Bobby and I are sort of a boxed set now. We're a packaged deal, you know?”
“And you don't think I know that? Janie, he's our son; that means everything to me. When I say that I want you, I mean the both of you,” he insisted as he held her gaze. She said nothing as they stared at one another, and Buzzy wondered what she was thinking.
Her phone began to ring just as the clock struck 8 am, and Janie quickly reached over and silenced it, refusing to answer as she had done yesterday, and Buz frowned at her. He shook his head slightly and rolled his eyes to himself. He would tackle that issue later. Right now he had other things on his mind.
“I have to be in Toledo by five o'clock. That means I need to leave here no later than three,” he said quietly, reaching over to take her hand. He looked up at her as his thumb played over her knuckles. “Why don't you come with me? It might give us more of a chance to talk.”
“Robby, I can't come with you to Toledo,” she sighed. Clearly he hadn't understood when she said it wasn't just her anymore. He wasn't even thinking about Bobby. “I can't just leave Bobby with a sitter and leave town for hours.”
“Leave Bobby?” he questioned, frowning at her. “Why would we leave Bobby here? He has to come with us; he will have a blast! And it's not like he has school tomorrow.”
Janie just stared at him for a moment. Okay, so maybe he was thinking about Bobby. And he seemed totally serious; he wanted the two of them to come with him to Toledo and watch him work.
“But won't we cramp your rock star lifestyle?” she asked quietly, totally serious, and he laughed out loud.
“You know what, darling? I would love for you to cramp my rock star lifestyle,” Buz answered truthfully. It was, after all, a lifestyle he was only living because he couldn't have her.
His response took her by surprise and she couldn't help biting down on her bottom lip, feeling anxious once more. Was he for real? She knew that he probably had girls hanging off of him after every show. Did he really want to give all that up just because he discovered he's a father? Was Bobby the only reason he suddenly believed he wanted her back?
She tried not to fixate on that question as she struggled to push it from her mind. He was right about one thing, Bobby would probably love to be able to spend the day watching his dad work. But should they do this? She would have to miss work, and she really couldn't afford that.
“Robby, I have to work the dinner shift tonight; I really can't go. I'm sorry,” she said, shaking her head.
“Baby, come on. Please? Bobby would have so much fun; and I really want you both to meet my brothers,” he said.
“Your brothers will be there?” she asked, sounding surprised.
Buz smiled at her, shaking his head slightly. “I don't mean my biological brothers,” he explained. “I mean my bandmates. They are so important to me. You remember how I never felt very close to my own brothers, right?”
“Yes, I remember that.”
“Well, my Jagged Ivory bandmates have become my brothers over the years,” he told her. “We're very close; we take care of each other like family.”
“I've heard you all say that in interviews,” she said.
“Well, it's true. And I really want you and Bobby to meet them. Besides … it would give the three of us some more time to spend together before I have to leave the area,” he said quietly. “Please, Janie.”
She stared at him for a long moment, saying nothing. But she could see how important this was to him, and she suddenly wanted Bobby to be able to spend as much time with his father as he could. Without another word, she picked up her phone and dialed a number.
Buz listened as she told whomever was on the other end of the line that she wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be able to make her shift that evening. She hung up and turned to him and smiled, and Buzzy took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply for a moment. Then he got out of the bed and retrieved his own cellphone from the pocket of his jeans and called Shawn, asking him to grab his bag from the car so that he could shower and dress.
As he was talking with the bodyguard, he heard Janie's phone ringing again and glanced over just in time to see her check the caller ID and silence the phone with a frown on her face. It bothered him, but he decided again to let it go for now. He got a shower and dressed quickly, then he ventured out to the kitchen where he found Bobby and Shawn laughing together as they ate bowls of cereal.
“Hey, Dad! Did you know that Shawn has a black belt in karate?” Bobby asked excitedly.
Buzzy smiled broadly at him as he picked up a cereal box and reached inside, pulling out a few fruity-flavored O's and popping them into his mouth. “Yes, I did know that,” he said with a nod as he chewed. And he smiled to himself at the ease with which the word 'dad' just seemed to roll of the kid's tongue. He couldn't believe how much he loved hearing it.
Still smiling to himself as he listened to Bobby chatter on about martial arts, he walked over to the cupboard and retrieved a bowl. Then he opened a kitchen drawer and pulled out a spoon. And as he closed the drawer with his hip, he frowned to himself when he realized that it was something he had done a million times before. He hadn't even thought about where the bowls were kept or which drawer held the silverware. He simply remembered, and it took him by surprise for some reason.
He was pouring milk over his cereal when Janie finally entered the kitchen, looking gorgeous in a pair of skinny jeans and a white peasant top and heels. She smiled at the table full of men. Upon her entrance however, Shawn discreetly excused himself to the other room.
“Hey, Bobby. How would you like to come to Toledo with me today and watch a Jagged Ivory concert?” Buzzy asked.
The boy's eyes grew big and round as saucers, and he looked from Buz to Janie in shock. “Can I, Mom? Can I really go?”
“Yes, sweetie,” Janie smiled as she sat down to eat. “We're both going to go!”
“Yes,” Bobby exclaimed, and Buzzy laughed.
They finished their breakfast with a lot of happy jabbering about nothing. And when Janie made the child go get washed up and dressed, and then busied herself cleaning their breakfast dishes, Buz found Shawn in the living room and sat down beside him on the couch.
“Hey, listen, man, I wanted to thank you for putting up with the impromptu dinner and sleep accommodations last night. I'm sure this couch couldn't have been very comfortable. But I want you to know that I appreciate it,” he said.
“It's alright, Mr. West,” the bodyguard replied. “I'm just sorry I couldn't have given you more privacy. It's kind of a small place. But Mr. Holland was very clear that I wasn't allowed to leave you anywhere alone.”
“Yeah, Mike gets paranoid sometimes,” Buzzy grinned. “Listen, before we head off to Toledo, I need you to run an errand for me. It involves you leaving me here for a while, but Mike never has to know that. And I promise that I will be right here when you get back. I just need you to run to a store.”
“A store?”
“Yes. An electronics store. Or maybe a toy store would be better? I don't know; I'm just going to tell you what I'm after and leave the where up to you. But it's very important.”
“Okay. What am I hunting for?”
“Nintendo 3DS. Get the XL version if you can find it. Any color but pink,” he said, handing over his credit card.
“Okay.”
�
�Also, before you bring it back here, purchase half a dozen games for it. Something an eight-year-old boy would love. And take it out of the packaging; I don't want it to look brand new at all.”
Shawn smiled at him, remembering the bits of argument and conversation he couldn't help but overhear between him and the boy's mother. “I understand, Mr. West.”
“Thanks, man,” Buz said, slapping his shoulder as the large man stood up and gathered his things and then left.
And after he was gone, Buz sat looking around the small living room area. It was funny, but he really didn't remember this house being so small eight years ago. Back then the two-bedroom, one-bath house had seemed a decent size to him. Janie and her mother had been here for a long time, since before Janie's dad had passed away when she was around twelve or so. And there were always things that Mrs. Kim had needed help with, like yard work and such. And Buz had always suspected that it was his willingness to mow the lawn for her and rake the leaves that had made Janie's mother finally like him. But the house and the property hadn't seemed so neglected back then, and Buzzy found himself wondering seriously about the state of Janie's finances and all those unanswered phone calls.
He was thinking about it all when his eyes suddenly lit on what appeared to be a photo album, and he reached for it. Pulling it out, he smiled when he saw a picture of a sleeping infant on the cover of it. It was an album devoted to Bobby, and Buz felt a mixture of emotions as he flipped slowly through it. The pictures stirred up so many contradictory feelings for him, but mostly he felt an overwhelming sense of regret that he had missed so much.
He was so engrossed in the photo album that he didn't notice Janie enter the room. She stood watching him for the longest time, seeing the sadness and disappointment play over his face. He would smile at certain pictures, but she noticed that the smile was always tempered with sorrow. And she was suddenly so remorseful.
“I'm sorry, Robby,” she whispered, feeling guilty as she sat down beside him.
He was silent for a long time as he stared at a picture of a two-year-old Bobby sitting on the kitchen floor with a toy drum set, red plastic sticks in hand. Then he took a deep breath and looked up at her. “What's done is done,” he said with a sigh as he exhaled. Glancing back at the album, he ran his finger over the image. “Can you tell me about him?” he asked softly, looking up at her once more.
Janie was taken aback at the tenderness she heard in his voice. Why had she kept them apart for so long? Why hadn't she tried to contact him again? It's not as though she didn't know where to begin looking for him. She could have reached out to his mother; she could have tried his father again.
She took a deep breath of her own, unsure of where to start. “He's … always been a very determined little boy,” she said softly. “Like when he made up his mind to walk. He just pulled himself up and did it. He only fell a few times, and then he was off and running. He doesn't let failure or mounting odds stop him, you know? When he sets his mind to do something he doesn't give up easily; he goes after it with all he's got. He definitely gets that from you.”
Buzzy smiled at her comparison as he slowly nodded his head, but said nothing, waiting to hear more.
“He's very bright. One of the smartest in his class.”
“He gets that from you,” Buz mumbled, and Janie smiled.
“He loves video games and The Avengers. Especially Iron Man. And dinosaurs. And ninjas. He loves to read,” she added.
“Something else he gets from you,” Buz said, and Janie cocked her head as she looked at him.
“He's also very charming. All of his teachers talk about what a joy he is to have in class, and what a leader he is among his peers. He makes friends easily, never meets a stranger. There's not a shy bone in his body, and you and I both know that is not something he got from me. Aside from his book smarts, Robby … our son's personality came directly from you. And I think that's a wonderful thing. I've always been thankful that he's not shy and awkward like me.”
Buzzy stared at her, reaching up to run a finger across her cheek. “You are not awkward, baby. You're sweet. And unassuming. And I have always loved that about you.”
Her phone suddenly sprang to life, and Janie glanced at it before silencing it yet again. Buzzy sighed and closed the photo album. He would ask her if he could keep it for a while. But for now, he reached over to place it on the coffee table and then turned to her.
“Janie … how much would it take to make your phone stop ringing off the hook?” he asked, looking her in the eye.
Instantly upset, Janie scooted away from him on the couch. “Damn it, Robby! That is none of your business,” she said glaring at him.
“Don't get angry, Janie. It's just a question,” he shot back. He had known full well that this topic would cause an argument. That's why he had been reluctant to bring it up. “And you're wrong. It is my business. Anything that concerns Bobby is my business! Your phone has been ringing non-stop since I got here yesterday, and you never even attempt to answer it. I'm not an idiot, Janie. I know what that means. The bill collectors are hounding you night and day, and I want to help you.”
“Well, I don't want your help,” she nearly shouted.
“Janie, he's my son,” Buz said quietly, trying to stop the confrontation from getting any more heated. “I just want to take care of him. I want to take care of both of you. Why won't you let me do that?”
“Because I can't,” she answered flatly. “I don't want your money.”
“Will you at least let me buy you a decent car?” he said angrily through clenched teeth.
“There is nothing wrong with my car!”
“It's a piece of shit!” He sounded bitter as he stared at her, unable to keep his voice from rising. “The tires are nearly bald and the thing sounds like it's about to blow up at any minute! I swear, if I'd had any clue that Bobby existed last year, and the shape you were in financially, I would have done a hell of a lot more than just pay for your mother's funeral,” he growled as he glared at her.
“What did you say?” Janie looked at him in shock, not sure that she had heard him correctly. And she watched as Robby rolled his eyes at her with a sheepish pout that reminded her of their son. “You? It was you?”
Buzzy grimaced as he avoided her eyes. He hadn't intended for her to ever know this.
“Why? The other day when I was going on and on about the kindness of my uncle and my mother's friends … you said nothing. Why didn't you tell me?”
“Because I didn't want you to know,” he said simply.
“But why? How did you do that?” she asked in astonishment.
“It wasn't hard,” he shrugged, still avoiding her questioning gaze. “When my mother saw the obituary in the paper and called to tell me, I had her give me the name and contact information for the mortuary handling the body. A couple of phone calls later and it was done.”
Janie was silent for a long time as she stared at him, trying to figure out why he would go to such lengths to pay for her mother's funeral. And why had he kept it a secret? She was about to open her mouth to ask him these questions when Bobby suddenly came bounding into the room like a ball of energy and excitement as he made a bee line for his favorite new playmate.
“Hey, Dad, can you show me your drum set when we get to the concert?” he asked with a huge smile as he practically climbed into Buzzy's lap.
“Yes, I can, and I will,” Buz smiled as the child settled in his arms.
“Is it hard to play the drums?” he asked.
“Mmm … well, I wouldn't use the word hard, but … it does require a whole lot of skill,” Buzzy answered truthfully. “Especially if you want to reach a certain level of playing. Like if you want to play in a successful band.”
“Like you?”
“Yes, like me,” he smiled. “You have to have an above average sense of rhythm, 'cause being able to keep the beat is the whole point. If you can't do that, then your bandmates will get very upset with you! Especially w
hen the songs get more and more complex. And for some songs you have to be capable of a certain amount of speed and be able to play really fast. You also have to find a great technique and really master it. And you have to develop your stamina. Stamina's important when you're playing two-hour shows each night.”
“That's a long time,” Bobby said, hanging on Buz's every word.
“It is a long time,” Buzzy agreed. “And if your stamina's not good you are going to be so tired and your arms are gonna hurt so bad,” he said as he tickled the child in his arms, and smiled at the sound of his laughter. “Playing the drums is easy, Bobby. But … learning to play the drums really well takes a whole lot of hard work, dedication and practice. You have to be willing to practice for several hours every single day if you want to play the drums professionally.”
Janie sat quietly listening to their conversation and trying to wrap her head around the discovery that Robby had been the one who had secretly paid for her mother's funeral. Why hadn't he told her that? Why had he kept that a secret? Why hadn't he simply contacted her? And she closed her eyes with a sigh as she wondered the same about herself. Why hadn't she simply contacted him to let him know that she was pregnant? Or to tell him that she had made a huge mistake in letting him go. Or to tell him that she still loved him.
She silently shook her head at all the questions as she listened to their conversation about drums and about Jagged Ivory's history. Bobby peppered his father with all sorts of questions about how he had learned to play the drums and when he had joined the band. And Janie found herself listening with interest as Robby talked about his experiences with his bandmates and getting to know them. He spoke about them with great affection and she could tell that they obviously meant a lot to him.
The Essential Jagged Ivory (Jagged Ivory Boxed Set) Page 68