Janie stared at him in disbelief. This sweet, charming, passionate man truly did love her. It was a total revelation to her. Everything he had been telling her – from the day they had met – about how much he loved her, and would always love her, was true! Without another word, she leaned in and kissed him, wild and deep, letting her tongue dance around his, and he moaned slightly at the sudden assault.
“What was that for?” he asked, smiling as she pulled away.
“I love you, Robby,” she softly exclaimed. “I love you so much!”
Buzzy's smile got bigger. “I love you, darling.”
She kissed him again, more slowly this time as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him as he rolled to his back. He let his hands roam over her silky skin, traveling down her back to squeeze and fondle her ass as their passionate kiss became a fiery make out session. They were moving rapidly toward something more erotic when Janie suddenly got a case of the giggles, and Buz looked at her with a big grin.
“Did I do something to tickle your funny bone, darling?”
“I'm sorry. I just suddenly heard Bobby's voice in my head saying that we kiss a lot,” she smiled.
Buzzy couldn't help laughing at that, and his arms tightened around her as their laughter grew. He kissed the top of her head as he held her close, and their laughter subsided. And they lay in silence for a while again.
“Janie?”
“Hmm?”
Buz hesitated a beat, taking a deep breath and forging ahead. “I told you the truth about my involvement in your mother's funeral. Will you be straight with me about something?”
Janie felt herself tense up at his question, and she knew that he felt it too. She moved out of his arms once more, propping up the pillows and sitting up to lean back against them. Buzzy turned on his side to face her as she looked at him expectantly.
“How bad is your financial situation, Janie?” he asked quietly. “I notice that your phone hasn't rang since we left the house, and I'm assuming that's because you've shut it off. Am I right?”
Janie said nothing as she nodded her head.
“So? How far in debt are you, baby?”
She sat shaking her head, not wanting to answer his question. But she knew that he wasn't going to give up until she told him the truth. She took a deep breath and sighed. “Pretty far,” she muttered quietly, and Buzzy smiled at her.
“Define pretty far, Janie.”
“I owe close to $45,000 in medical bills. And because of that, other things are suffering. I'm behind on everything. The electric bill. My one and only credit card is maxed to capacity. Some months I have to choose between the house and car payments.”
Buz rolled his eyes. “You mean you're still making payments on that piece of crap you're driving?”
“Robby,” Janie sighed, rolling her own eyes at him.
“I'm sorry, baby, but that car worries me,” he said looking at her pointedly. “It's not safe. I can't believe you're still shelling out good money for the privilege of driving that thing.”
“I don't have a choice, Robby,” she said, sounding aggravated. “It's all I can afford right now, and Bobby and I need it to get to school and to work and everywhere else.”
“Okay, I get it,” he said, raising his hand in surrender. “I'm sorry. You said you owe $45,000 in medical bills. Are those from when your mom was sick or something?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Those are Bobby's.”
“Bobby's?” His voice was laced with genuine surprise, and he looked at her with raised eyebrows. Then he frowned and shook his head as he sat up and leaned back against the pillows. “Wait. No. Is Bobby sick?” he asked, feeling truly shocked at the level of fear and dread he was experiencing.
“No, no,” Janie assured him, picking up on his rising panic. “Bobby is a very healthy little boy; there's nothing wrong with him.”
“Then I don't understand.”
“Well … it's a long story,” Janie sighed.
“I don't care. I want to hear it,” Buzzy insisted.
Janie smiled at him and reached out to take his hand. “Last year … just a few months after Mom passed away, Bobby and I were in the park. I was sitting on a bench, reading a book and watching the people pass by around me while he played with a group of friends from school. It was just a normal trip to the park,” she shrugged. “Something we do often. But all of a sudden, one of Bobby's friends came running over to get me, saying that Bobby couldn't breathe. I rushed over to him. And thankfully, one of the other mothers had already called an ambulance. They arrived fairly quickly. But by the time they got him to the hospital, Bobby was losing consciousness.”
“Oh, my God,” Buz said softly, still feeling panicked.
“Long story short … the doctors eventually ended up finding three stings on his legs. And he later told us that he and his friends had fallen and somehow disturbed a nest of bees while they were playing. But at the time … he was in no condition to tell us anything. It was hours of just treating his symptoms before they finally found the sting marks. They knew that it looked like an allergic reaction, but they weren't sure what it could be from. Was it something he had eaten or was it a bee or a spider or some other insect bite. And up until that point, Bobby had never had any kind of allergy at all, so I was completely useless. And so incredibly scared. And because he had been stung by more than one bee, his reaction was much more severe than normal. Once he lost consciousness, it became a real life or death situation. I was so afraid that I was going to lose him.”
Buz reached out and caressed her face. “Janie,” he whispered. “I am so sorry. I should have been there with you.”
“You didn't know,” she smiled tearfully. “And it's funny, because when I was sitting in that hospital room holding his hand and praying for him to be alright, all I kept thinking was that I was being punished somehow for not telling you about him. And I kept thinking about how I would feel if anything happened to him, and you never got the chance to know him. It's part of the reason that I went backstage after the concert the other night. I was going to tell you about Bobby then. I had a plan, and a whole speech worked out. But when I saw you I chickened out … I couldn't say the words. And when you showed up in my yard … I didn't know what to do. I was terrified. And I didn't mean to lie to you and say that Bobby wasn't yours. But I was so scared,” she finished in tears.
“Janie,” he whispered again, letting go of her hand and wrapping his arm around her. “Come here, baby,” he said as he gently pulled her into his arms. “So, Bobby's allergic to bee stings, just like me.”
“Turns out they were actually yellow jackets. But yes,” Janie said. “He ended up spending six days in the hospital, and two of those were spent in the pediatric ICU. There were so many tests and machines. So much money adding up each day.”
“And I take it the two of you have no medical insurance?” he asked softly.
She lowered her eyes from his and shook her head.
“Well, that explains the $45,000,” he sighed. Then he kissed her temple as he held her close. “Janie … please let me take care of those bills.”
“Robby.” The word was barely a whisper as she shook her head at him. And he placed a finger across her lips, preventing her from saying any more.
“I want to pay them,” he whispered, looking her in the eye with a determined air. “I'm going to pay them. And I'm going to buy you a new car. And I'm going to add both of you to my medical insurance.”
“Robby, you can't do that,” Janie protested. “You can't just add me to your insurance, that's fraud!”
“Only if you don't marry me,” he replied with a smile. And Janie looked at him in shock.
“What?”
“Marry me, Janie,” he smiled, staring into her eyes.
“Robby, you cannot be serious,” she said with a huff, pulling herself from his arms and sitting up in the middle of the bed. “The past twenty-four hours has been like a dream come
true for me, okay? I never expected to have you back in my life, whether you knew the truth about Bobby or not. And I certainly never expected you to still love me, no matter how much I may have wished for it. But we have been apart for eight long years; we don't know each other anymore. You can't just say something like 'marry me' on a whim!”
“A whim?” he asked, his voice raised in surprise. “Is that seriously what you think this is?”
“I don't know what else it could be!”
“Could it be that I love you and I don't want to lose you again?” he stated. “And you keep saying that we're strangers, that we don't know each other anymore, but that's not true. I am the same man that I have always been. Nothing has changed, including my love for you!”
“Robby … you live this unreal, rock star existence. You're little friend proved that earlier tonight,” Janie protested. “And maybe you think that you still want me, but … how does an eight-year-old little boy fit into that rock and roll picture for you?”
“Janie, are you purposely not listening to me? Do you think that I don't get that you and Bobby are a set? It has been just you and him for a long time, and I understand that. But what I want is for you to completely change that way of thinking, okay? It is not just you and Bobby anymore, Janie. That's what I've been trying to tell you! Baby, I am here,” he said with an emphatic tone as he stared into her eyes. “I didn't know about Bobby before. If I had, I'd have been here sooner. And if you hadn't pushed me away, I never would have left in the first place.”
“What are you saying, Robby? That you'll leave the band and move back here to Cleveland to be with us?”
Buz laughed at her and rolled his eyes. “What I'm saying is that I want you and Bobby to come to Los Angeles with me! Marry me, Janie. Let the three of us become the family that we were always supposed to be!”
Janie stared at him for the longest time, looking into his eyes and saying nothing as her mind attempted to work out a list of all the reasons why this was such a bad idea. But the damn thing wouldn't think straight, and all she could come up with was that it was way too soon. But even as that thought floated around in her head, she could hear her mother's sweet voice asking 'too soon for who, Janie?'
If she could ask her … if her mother were here at this very moment … Janie knew without a doubt that she would push her to say yes. Her mother had known how much in love with Robby she still was. And how miserable Janie had been without him. She never failed to miss an opportunity to let her “careful” daughter know that she had made a grave mistake in letting him go. And Bobby had been over the moon since meeting his father, so she couldn't blame saying no on him. There was nothing holding her back. Nothing except herself.
Astounded that she was actually stepping out of her own way, Janie slowly nodded her head as she stared into his eyes.
“Is that a yes?” Buzzy asked quietly, holding his breath as he waited for her answer.
“Yes. I'll marry you,” she whispered.
“Yes!”
He shouted the word loudly and pulled her into his arms wearing the biggest smile. And they laughed joyously as he turned, rolling her onto her back and looking down into her eyes.
“I swear, I will love you forever, Janie Kim,” he whispered.
“Oh, Robby. I love you so much.”
*****
Slowly, Janie became aware of the light filtering into the room, even though she refused to open her eyes. It felt much too heavenly to open her eyes. If she did that, the spell would be broken and she would have to get up and leave the warm coziness of the impossibly soft bed and Robby's arms. So, eyes still closed, she took in a deep breath and snuggled closer to him, feeling his arm tighten around her waist. She smiled to herself as she exhaled and gently ran her hand over his chest. But as she moved to hug him tighter, her hand came into contact with a set of little fingers. Frowning, her eyes reluctantly fluttered open, and then widened as they looked upon the sleeping form of her son. He was curled up in a tight little ball, his body tucked snuggly into the crook of his father's arm as he slept. He looked so peaceful, and Janie smiled in spite of her surprise.
“He came running in here a few hours ago,” Buzzy softly whispered, and Janie looked up at him. “It was still dark outside. I guess he woke up and got a little scared because of the strange room, and he didn't know where we were. I didn't see the harm in letting him stay when he asked if he could sleep here with us for a while. I hope that was okay.”
Janie smiled at him, feeling a surge of love for his blossoming paternal instincts. And she was suddenly very grateful that she had pulled on Robby's t-shirt before they finally drifted off to sleep.
“Hey,” Buz whispered, smiling as he gently squeezed her to him again. “Correct me if I'm wrong, but was I dreaming last night or did you really say yes?”
Janie felt a tiny frisson of fear run through her, followed by a huge swell of love and excitement, and she smiled as she looked up into his pale blue eyes once more. She loved those eyes so much. They were always so expressive, and such an unusual color. A soft, almost baby blue. When she and Robby had broken up, baby blue had become her favorite color because it always reminded her of him. And when their son was born and she looked into his baby blue eyes for the first time, she had been astounded.
“Yes,” she whispered, looking up at him and smiling into those eyes. “I said yes.”
Buzzy's smile grew bigger, and he leaned in and sweetly kissed her lips. “Do you have any idea how happy you've made me?” he whispered as he smiled at her.
Janie bit down on her bottom lip, feeling self-conscious for some reason. “How do you always do this to me?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper in an attempt not to wake Bobby.
“Do what to you?” Buzzy asked with a frown.
“You've always had a strange way of making me do things that I never dreamed I'd do,” she answered softly.
“You never dreamed you'd agree to marry me?” he whispered.
Janie smiled at him. “No. I always dreamed about marrying you someday. I just never dreamed that I would say yes so quickly. Or that you would ask me so soon after getting back together,” she whispered. She was quiet for a moment and then added, “You know your bandmates are going to think we're completely crazy, don't you?”
Buzzy chuckled softly. “I don't care what anyone thinks, darling. I just want you and Bobby and me to be together. Besides … my brothers already know that I'm crazy,” he whispered. “They also know how I feel about you.”
“They're still going to think we're insane,” she whispered. “Beverly is going to think that I've completely lost my mind. And what about your parents?”
“Janie,” Buz whispered, looking at her with a worried frown. “Are you trying to talk yourself out of saying yes? Are you having second thoughts?”
Janie looked up at him as she thought about his question. Is that what she was doing? Trying to talk herself out of this? Her mother was always accusing her of being too practical at times. Of being afraid to live spontaneously. “Careful Janie” she would call her.
~~~~~
“I know you thought I wouldn't approve of this boy because he wasn't Korean, Janie,” Sandy Kim had said. “But you were wrong. I liked this Robby West. I believe he was very good for you.”
“You do?” Janie had asked, the surprise in her voice evident.
“Yes, I do,” Mrs. Kim answered. “I watched you sparkle with him. You came alive whenever he was around. That boy brought a little bit of fun and spontaneity to your life, hmm? He showed you that you can't always go through life being so careful and pragmatic all the time. That there are moments when being an uninhibited, free-spirit can be a very good thing.”
“I can't believe you're saying this to me, Mama,” Janie had said.
“Why, my darling girl? Because now you're raising a child alone and this boy is nowhere to be found? You and I both know that you could have prevented this situation, Janie. That boy loves you. But you sent him
away. Careful Janie played it safe yet again, and Careful Janie made a mess of things.”
~~~~~
Her mom would warn her not to be too careful right now. After all, that's how she and her son had lost Robby in the first place, wasn't it? Last night, Robby had begged her to let the three of them become the family that they were always supposed to be. And in her heart, Janie knew that his words were true. They were always meant to be a family.
“No,” she whispered, looking into his eyes. “I'm not having second thoughts. I love you, Robby. I don't want to be apart from you again.”
Buzzy smiled broadly at her and then leaned in to kiss her again, long and deep. And as his tongue caressed hers, he felt Bobby stir slightly in his left arm.
“You guys are kissing again,” the child murmured sleepily, pouting at them. And Buz and Janie laughed quietly at him.
“How 'bout we kiss you, huh?” Buzzy asked. Then he pulled the child closer and began to pepper his little face with kisses as Janie joined in, showering Bobby with small pecks of affection as he giggled heartily and tried to shoo them away with his hands.
Chapter Eleven
Janie sat in a lounger next to the infinity pool, smiling as she watched Bobby splashing around in the water with his dad and all of his uncles. They were playing Marco Polo while all the females lay sunning themselves. Fae sat rubbing some sunblock over her tattooed arms while Mercy and Donna taunted the guys in the water from their perches beside her.
And Janie just had to shake her head at that thought. She still couldn't believe that she was sitting in a lounger next to Donna Devlin! She loved watching her TV show, Model for Murder. It was one of her favorites, and she always hated missing an episode. Before Robby had come back into her life, Janie had known that one of his bandmates had been dating the actress for a long time and had just recently married her. But never in a million years did she ever think that she would actually meet her. And the kicker was that she was so nice and genuine all the time. She had been so welcoming to Janie, and so kind to Bobby. The two ladies actually seemed to bond over the whole motherhood thing, and Janie had spent a lot of time since they met engaged in conversations about babies and childbirth, and answering questions about raising little boys. She liked Donna immediately, and she quickly came to realize that all three of the women connected to Jagged Ivory were each very special in their own way, and she was happy that they were all a part of this family she and Bobby were joining.
The Essential Jagged Ivory (Jagged Ivory Boxed Set) Page 73