by Maine, Miley
First we went to a sweet little boutique that was decorated in all pastel colors and had a certain warmth to it. They were playing some soft indie Christmas songs in the background, and the shop clerk immediately came up to greet us with a large smile on her face.
“Can I help you with anything today?” she asked.
“I was looking for some cashmere dresses for my girlfriend,” Grayson said, one hand on my shoulder.
I blushed at the fact that he called me that, my stomach twisting when I realized that he had never said it before. We hadn’t really had any sort of a conversation about it, and I wondered if he really meant it or was just saying it for show.
“We just got some pretty dresses in for the season,” the clerk said. “We have a few cashmere ones, but also some others that I think she would look lovely in.”
“Start a changing room then,” Grayson said. The clerk nodded and scurried over to the racks, beginning to take out several beautiful dresses on slim golden hangers.
“If you see anything you like, let her know,” Grayson said, leaning down to whisper in my ear. “Don’t worry about the price.”
That was certainly easy for him to say, knowing how rich and influential he was, but I was used to worrying about the cost of things. I couldn’t even imagine what kind of price tags a business like this might have. I was almost tempted to look, but knew that it would most likely make me feel sick to my stomach.
“Come on, dear,” the clerk said, gesturing to the curtained changing room. “I have a selection of clothes for you to try on; let me know if anything else catches your eye.”
I followed her lead and stepped into the changing room. It was lovely, bigger than I’d expected with several candles burning on a table in the corner and a large mirror covering one wall. A plush rug was beneath my feet and a wide selection of clothing was waiting for me on a dainty gold rack.
I thumbed through the options, marvelling at how they felt against my hands. Everything was so soft, the fabrics all so beautiful. Several of the silk dresses had intricate prints with gold threads woven throughout them, and a few of the sweaters were embellished with shining crystals that caught the light of the candles just so.
It was all so beautiful and like nothing I might have imagined before.
Carefully, I selected one of the silk dresses and put it on. The neckline dipped perfectly to accentuate my breasts, and the hemline ended just at midthigh, creating a sexy and sophisticated silhouette.
I peeked my head out from the curtain to catch Grayson’s eye.
“Did you want to see?” I asked, feeling a little shy.
“Of course I want to see,” he said with a smile. “Come on out and show me.”
I stepped out from behind the curtain, twirling around to give him a good look at the dress from every angle. His smile widened.
“We’ll definitely be getting that one,” he remarked to the clerk.
“Really?” I asked, still a little surprised, no matter what he promised when we walked in.
“Of course; you look absolutely stunning in it. How could I not buy it for you?”
I blushed, my stomach tightening along with the butterflies in my chest. I skipped back behind the curtain then and grabbed my next item to try on.
We spent several more hours in that store in roughly the same pattern. I would try something on and head out to show it off to Grayson, then we would decide if we wanted to get it or not. Or more like he decided that he wanted to get a lot of things for me because he liked the way they looked on me.
It was fun, and by the time we left I was hungry and ready for some lunch. We picked out a little cafe and ordered some soups and sandwiches before taking our seats in a plush corner booth.
“Did you have fun?” Grayson asked with a smile.
“Yes, lots of fun,” I said, wondering if now was a good time to bring up the girlfriend comment. I didn’t get a chance though, because Grayson immediately launched into his next point.
“Serenity, this has made me realize that I want to support you. I don’t know what your current dreams are for your life or for your career, but I want to help them come true.”
I looked down at my hands resting in my lap. “Well….” How was I supposed to put it? From the way I saw things, my dreams were already over. “I used to dream of being a concert harpist,” I admitted.
“And? Why are you speaking of it as if it is no longer your dream?”
“Because I know that it can never happen.” I looked back up at him. “I got rejected from every single music school when I was applying out of high school. Juilliard was my dream, but I didn’t get in. It crushed me.”
Grayson reached across the table, grabbing my hand and squeezing. “From the way I see things, that doesn’t mean your dream can’t still happen. It’s just a setback. There’s no cut-off for going back to school or fulfilling a dream. You just have to keep trying.”
I sighed. “See, you may say that, but it’s a lot harder to keep believing in yourself when no one else really believes in you either. And I’ve tried to look into other jobs, to find other dreams, but nothing feels as right as the harp does. Did, I guess.”
“Why don’t you play for me, then?”
“What?” I looked up in surprise.
“Play for me so that I can get to know your talents. I want to support you and to show you that I believe in you, because I’ve known you for a very long time and know better than to doubt you. I know you may want to do this on your own, but I do have connections that might be able to get you private teachers or jobs, depending on your own talent, of course.”
I could feel tears coming to my eyes. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” He brought a hand up to brush away the wetness from my cheek. “I care about you, Serenity, I really do, don’t you forget that.”
But did he care about me in the same way that I wanted him to? Or even in the same way that I cared about him?
I supposed that only time would tell. My lips were sealed.
12
Grayson
When we got home that night, Serenity played the harp for me as promised. The moment she entered the living room carrying her case, I could tell how important this was to her. She set it down, and with careful hands, withdrew a masterpiece of a harp.
“I saved up for a while to buy this one,” she explained with a smile, tracing one hand down the beautiful, shiny black wood. There were shimmering gold details embossed all along it, and the strings already seemed to hum with their own energy.
She took a minute to ensure that everything was in tune, then took her seat. First, she began to hum. It was a low sound, reminding me of the song that a siren might sing. Then her fingers began to dance over the strings.
In that moment, I could not understand how any music school might reject her. Her playing was magical, filling the room with a sort of presence that I hadn’t experienced listening to any other musician before. The way her fingers moved across the strings was like the most intricate ballet, just as intriguing to watch as her music was to listen to.
When she finished, I stood and began to clap. “That was absolutely beautiful,” I said. “Trust me when I say this, I really can imagine you doing this as a career. There are so many people who would love to listen to you play. You’re so talented.”
She blushed and looked down at her hands, like she thought I might be pandering to her. “Thank you.”
“Serenity, I really mean it.”
“I know, it’s just...it’s hard for me to believe sometimes, you know?”
I nodded. “I know. Believe me, I went through a similar thing. But I’ll be cheering you on the whole way. I know that you can do it.”
“Thank you.” I came over and set a hand down on her shoulder, squeezing tight.
She looked up at me, and there was light in her eyes again. It made me happy to see it. “I know that you said it was a one-time thing before, but would it be alright if I slept with
you tonight? I feel safer when your arms are around me.”
I hesitated. I really didn’t know if this was a good idea. Despite what I had said to the clerk at the shop today, and my desire to support Serenity in her endeavors as a harpist, I still wasn’t sure how far I really wanted our relationship to go. I still didn’t know if things could work out past the holidays. But there was no way that I could deny her when she was looking up at me with those big, sweet eyes, such a pleading expression on her face.
I sighed.
“Alright, fine, you’re welcome to come sleep in my bed from now on.”
Her face lit up, and I felt a pang of joy precede the settling feeling in my gut that this would be something I would regret later on.
“I’ll go get ready,” she said. “I like to read in bed before I go to sleep.”
“Alright, of course you do,” I said with a smile. “I guess I should go grab one of the books you made me buy then.”
“Hey, I didn’t force you. You bought those books of your own volition.”
“Sure, whatever you say. But you know that when you give me that cute little smile, I just can’t say no to you.” I pinched her cheeks lightly and then kissed the top of her head. “There must be witchcraft in it or something.”
She shrugged. “Something like that.”
“I knew it,” I said with a laugh. “Now go get ready, and I’ll meet you in my room.”
* * *
Sleeping with Serenity was peaceful. I felt calm next to her as the two of us spent several hours reading, sometimes leaning over to share a joke about whatever was happening in our books at the moment. She laughed and giggled and kissed my cheek, letting me settle my arm around her and burying her face in my chest when she began to get tired.
Finally, we decided that it was time to go to sleep. We put our books aside and I got up to turn off the lights. She fell asleep almost instantly, her breathing calming as I put my arms around her. Then everything was good for at least a few hours.
I was a light sleeper, which was why it woke me up when she began to toss and turn in the middle of the night. She must have been having a nightmare; I could tell from the way her body was cold to the touch and her eyes were squeezed tightly shut.
She looked so scared, and I immediately wanted to rescue her from whatever situation she was dealing with in her sleep. I figured that since she was used to being woken up by the nightmares, it would be better to rouse her than leave her to the hellscape of her mind.
Setting one hand on her shoulder, I gently shook her. “Serenity, Serenity,” I said, trying to keep my voice as calm as possible.
Instantly, her eyes flashed open and she looked at me with such fear, panting. “Grayson?” Her voice came out weak and frightened, and I immediately pulled her to my chest.
“Shhhh, it’s alright now, it was just a dream.” Her hands gripped at the fabric of my shirt and she buried her face in my chest.
“Can you remember what it was about?” I asked, continuing to stroke her hair. I was admittedly a little curious as to what had happened to give her such vivid nightmares.
She shook her head. “No, I just know that it was a bad one. Sorry, I didn’t think that I would have them when I was around you.”
“It’s alright,” I said. “I’m a light sleeper, so I can wake you up. You don’t have to apologize.”
“Thank you.”
I pulled away for just a moment to look her in the eyes. “Is there something we can do right now? Anything that usually helps?”
This gave her pause, and she seemed a little anxious at the idea of trying to come up with something, so I decided that I would suggest something instead. “We could go out to the living room. Put on a good movie? I’m sure that will get your mind off of things.”
She took a moment to consider this, and then nodded. “That actually sounds really nice,” she said.
“Alright, then we’ll do that. Any particular requests?”
She gave a short little laugh. “Just, uh, nothing scary, I guess.”
“Well, we can certainly work around that. Maybe I can find something from our childhood.”
She reached down to grab my hand, squeezing it tightly in gratitude. “That sounds nice.”
“Good. Then that’s just what we’ll do, come on.” I stood, offering her my hand. She took it, and I led her downstairs to the living room, getting her situated on the couch. “I’ll go grab some blankets, I’ll be right back,” I promised, then headed to the linen closet to find some cozy blankets for her. Thankfully, neither of us had to go in to work tomorrow, so we had the whole night to chill out if that’s what she needed.
I brought back several fluffy blankets and found that Serenity was already curled up in the corner of the couch, shivering a bit. I tossed one of the blankets to her, and it hit her square in the chest, falling over her in a waterfall.
She looked up at me, surprised.
“You looked cold,” I said by way of explanation.
“That didn’t mean you had to throw this at me,” she said, pulling the blanket around herself. “I would say that’s pretty rude.”
I shrugged, sitting down next to her and pulling her to my side before tucking the blanket in tightly around her. “I mean, I was the one who went to go grab that for you, so you have no right to call me rude. I’m just concerned that you’ll get frostbite.”
She stuck her tongue out at me. “Excuse you, I have every right.”
“Sure, sure.” I pulled her closer to my body and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Any requests for a movie?”
“Hmmmm.” She considered my question for a moment. “What about something holiday-themed?”
“Home Alone?” I suggested. I had vivid memories of our families coming together at the holidays to watch all the classic movies.
“That sounds wonderful,” she said with a smile.
“I figured it would be just the right amount of distracting fun.” I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. It had been a long time since I’d watched anything on it, and since I didn’t usually go for movies, I had to go to the iTunes store to purchase it so we could watch.
As the familiar opening scene began to play, Serenity scooted closer to me, dipping under my arm so that it was around her shoulders. “I want you to hold me,” she insisted.
I laughed. “Demanding much? Alright, alright.” I squeezed her tight to my side, pressing another kiss to the top of her head. “Take as much time as you need to calm down, alright?” I said. “We can hang here all night if need be.”
“Okay.”
“And don’t worry. If you fall asleep. I can carry you back to bed.”
She did end up falling asleep on me not long after the movie started. It seemed that being around me calmed her down quite a bit, and I was grateful for that. I waited several more minutes to make sure that she was really fast asleep, and then I turned off the movie and carefully lifted her into my arms. Even in sleep, she was the loveliest thing that I had ever beheld. She looked so peaceful, so beautiful.
I smiled to myself as I carried her back up to my bedroom. I hadn’t felt like this in a very long time. Maybe I’d never felt like this with anyone before. She made me happy, and that was something I wanted to hold onto. It was a little bit frightening because I knew that there was a lot that I could lose if I pursued her, but I also knew that there was so much more that I could gain.
Wasn’t my happiness important, too? Shouldn’t I be allowed to think about that? Even if it might make things difficult for a while, even if it might make Sebastian feel like I had betrayed him or put Serenity in a strange position, didn’t I also deserve to be happy?
I certainly was happy with her. This I was convinced of as I lay down next to her and drew her into my arms once again, feeling my breathing settle into a steady rhythm. And I knew that she was happy with me. How quickly she fell asleep around me, the way that she calmed in my presence, how she looked at me, spoke to me, it all pointed to
that truth.
Perhaps the two of us could be happy together. I wanted that. I craved it. And I would find a way to make it happen.
13
Serenity
Unfortunately, Grayson was called into work Sunday afternoon.
The two of us had a lovely breakfast together in bed and plans to spend the whole day together, reading and messing around and just enjoying each other’s company. But after lunch, Grayson got a call saying that there had been an emergency that needed his immediate attention. He told me that it pained him greatly to leave me and our plans, but that I was welcome to entertain myself for the rest of the day in whatever way I saw fit, and to call a cab if I needed to go anywhere and he would reimburse me.
Grayson had already paid me a good deal for my interning, and I didn’t feel bad about using that money as I had technically earned it. I still had some gift shopping that I wanted to do for my family and now I actually had money to get them some nice things, so I figured that I would take a taxi to one of the malls nearby. I got dressed in one of the sweaters that Grayson had bought for me, a pair of jeans, and some cute white boots, then called a taxi. It took a few minutes for it to get to Grayson’s house, so I read my book in the meantime and contemplated what I should look for to buy my family.
Books was always a good option, but it felt too safe at the moment. Maybe I could find some art or some more handmade things for my parents. They always liked knickknacks and things that they could put up around the house. And I could get Sebastian some decorations for his office, or maybe a nice new coat (though those kinds of things were always easier to buy when you had the person with you). I wanted to buy something for his girlfriend, too, as she was practically a part of the family already and I expected the two of them to get engaged fairly soon.
I was brought out of my reverie when the cab arrived at the mall. I thanked the driver and tipped him generously before heading into the mass of outdoor shops. I had no idea where I should even begin, there was so much to look at, and it was all incredibly overwhelming for me. Finally, I decided that I should start in one of the larger department stores and see if there was anything good in there. I ended up finding some cute stationery for my mother there, and then I headed to one of the art stores to pick up some pieces for my brother and my dad. I found a beautifully made leather purse for my brother’s girlfriend, and then that just left Grayson.