by Maine, Miley
“It’s about to happen, isn’t it? Daddy said it wasn’t going to be long until the New Year.”
“Daddy was right...”
The New Year, new opportunities, a whole lot of newness, and maybe time for us to make some New Year’s resolutions that we will keep, that are serious. Resolutions that involve us getting back together and really trying again. Putting communication and our marriage first, and no longer making any silly mistakes...
I hope that can come true and it isn’t just a pipe dream, but I suppose there is only one way to find out.
30
Taylor
December 31st
“Jenny? Will you stop playing around with the door please?” I call out a little irritated, but she wouldn’t listen to me. “Come on, I already told you that there isn’t anyone there. What are you doing? It will be time for the fireworks in a moment. I thought you wanted to watch the fireworks...”
“Daddy look!” she cries back. “I told you, didn’t I? Mommy is here.”
“Mommy?” I jump off the couch in a state of panic. She has to be joking, doesn’t she? This is crazy. I know she wants her Mommy to be here, but Rebecca and I have already agreed not to see one another outside of custody arrangements, so she won’t be... “Oh, Rebecca... you are here.”
I can hardly catch my breath, maybe I fell asleep on the couch because this can’t be real, seriously. There’s no way. Rebecca has been on my mind a lot today obviously, because this is the day my planet is supposed to all come together and we should end up a couple again... so this version of Rebecca must be somewhere deep in my psyche. What I really need to do is wake the hell up.
“I hope it’s okay that I’m here,” she said softly, coyly really, as if she’s a little bit embarrassed. “I know I just dropped in, but I thought we could talk...”
“Talk? Talk about what?” I think I sound like an idiot, but I have no idea how like I know what the hell is going on. “I thought we had done all of our talking.”
“Have we?” She cocks a knowing eyebrow at me. “I’m sure there are other things we can say. I don’t feel like I’ve got everything off my chest, I still have things that I would like to say.”
My pulse stops beating, if she wants to talk, then there is no telling which way it will go.
“What... what do you mean?” I stammer. “What do you need to say?”
She tries to step closer to me but can’t because our daughter is wrapped around her legs desperate not to let her go.
“I didn’t get to tell you that I love you. I didn’t get to tell you that I would love to fight for you, I would love to go through all of this messy life together, even the hard parts. I would love to give us one last try with no more lies, no more deceit, no more keeping things to ourselves. We haven’t actually tried just talking, have we? That could really benefit us.”
She’s saying all of this in front of Jenny, which means she must be more serious than she has ever been before. She’s letting our daughter see that there is a chance, if we are all willing to give it a go.
I can’t answer her right away because I am too busy running my eyes all over her body. Judging by what Rebecca is wearing, she has been out tonight, probably with her best friend Maggie, and she could have stayed out all night having fun at some New Year’s Eve party somewhere, experiencing a completely different New Year’s Eve to what we are used to. But she isn’t doing that, she’s here with us, letting me know she’s willing to fight, she’s willing to forgive, as she’s willing to try and trust me.
“Rebecca,” I rasp out in shock. “I can’t believe that you’re here. I don’t know what to say about this. This is crazy.”
Her face falls, almost as if she is accepting this as a rejection. It isn’t that, it’s just me utterly speechless.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to come here and interrupt your night...” Rebecca continues as she retreats. “I just wanted to let you know how I feel...”
“Rebecca, I love you too... I never stopped loving you. I was only afraid, nothing more. I never wanted to push you away.”
We aren’t being smart. A magnetic force pulls us in together. I couldn’t fight it even if I wanted to. Jenny lets go of Rebecca’s leg, seemingly certain that she isn’t going anywhere now, and she lets her mother make that move towards me. Rebecca sashays in my direction, her hips wiggling as she goes. I’m enraptured by her, completely intoxicated by how stunning she is. How did I let her go? How did I push her away the other day? Why haven’t I been holding on to her the whole time?
“I love you,” she whispers again. “I really do, and I’m so sorry.”
“I love you too.” I don’t know what has happened, but my hands are on her waist and I’m pulling her towards me. “I love you so much, Rebecca.”
Then her lips are mine, magnetic force has gotten exactly what it wanted, and we’re kissing. It isn’t so much of a passionate kiss, more of a sensual sweet one. There is romance and promise in it. This is the romantic reunion that I have always wanted, that I hoped for us, and it’s happening. Right before the deadline, not that I’m really sticking to my plan anymore. Planning doesn’t seem to go anywhere, going with the flow does. Still, the ball hasn’t dropped yet, so this really is perfect.
Her hands snake around my neck as she holds me in place to ensure I can’t escape this kiss, not that I want to. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but be here right now. I never expected Rebecca to turn up like this, never mind want to kiss me. This is like a dream come true.
“Oh my God,” I whisper as soon as we pull apart. “Is this really happening, Rebecca?”
“Looks like it, doesn’t it?” she replies cheekily. “You aren’t annoyed about it, are you?”
“How can I possibly be annoyed? This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Yay!” All of the sudden we are interrupted by Jenny cheering at the top of her lungs. “Does this mean that we aren’t going to live apart anymore? Does this mean we’re going to be a family?”
Oh God, I really don’t want to let Jenny down again. Perhaps Rebecca and I should have discussed this in private before anything happened. But every time we try to discuss anything private, it ends up in an argument, so that doesn’t work either.
I look to Rebecca for answers, and I’m so relieved to see her beaming from ear to ear. If she isn’t worried, it must be because she has made a solid decision and she’s sticking with it. That has to work out well for us.
“Yes,” Rebecca chuckles. “Yes, that’s what it means. Now why don’t you come over here, so we can all have a family hug?”
As Jenny joins us, and we hug tightly, I’m soaring at the top of the world. This is exactly what I was hoping for, my family back together for the New Year. It really didn’t seem like it was going to happen for a long time, yet here I am having it all. I really am the luckiest man alive. If this works out, then I’m going to be able to put my past behind me at last, and finally move forward with my life.
“This is great.” Jenny grins at both of us. “I’m happy that we are a family.”
“Me too,” I murmur. “You have no idea how happy I am.”
I lean over Jenny’s head and kiss Rebecca gently one more time. It feels incredible to be able to just do that, without worrying about the consequences. I know her and I know for sure that this is real. She wouldn’t have done this without knowing that it’s going to last forever. She wouldn’t have got Jenny involved, and nor would I.
“Thank you for coming,” I tell her, unbelievably over the moon that this wasn’t a dream. “Thank you for giving me another chance.”
“Thank you for accepting me. Thank you for letting me come back after I upset you. It won’t happen again. We will talk everything out in the future. Let’s never make the same mistakes.”
Oh, I know that for sure. I will never ever make the same mistakes again. I will never ever do anything as stupid as I once did, nor will I overreact if she does something I don
’t like. We will become a team and work through this together.
“Look!” Jenny cries out. “They are about to do the countdown.” She points towards the television. “Can we watch it?”
“I would love nothing more,” Rebecca replies. “This is what I came here for. To watch the fireworks with you guys. Let’s snuggle up on the couch. I can’t wait to see the amazing New York fireworks. They are supposed to be the best ever this year.”
“Are they?” Jenny claps her hands together in excitement. It seems like she is already used to the idea of me and Rebecca being back together, which is funny. I don’t think I’ll be able to slip back into old habits that easily, it’s going to take me a while... but it’s going to be an amazing journey. “I can’t wait.”
“I know, me neither,” Rebecca says. “This is much better than being at a party.”
“You were at a party?” Jenny sounds stunned. “And you came here?”
“I would much rather be here with you.”
I don’t really care what the fireworks look like on TV, I’m just going to be having the best New Year’s Eve ever because I finally have everything back together, my life back on the track the way I want it to be. Living the path, I have always wanted to live.
Rebecca and I keep sharing eye contact over Jenny’s head, and I can feel the physical attraction and sizzling chemistry between us. We are hot and heavy again, back to where we have always been. It feels amazing. This is a bit like foreplay if I’m honest, these little glances, because I know where they could lead. I might not be waking up on the 1st of January by myself after all.
We cuddle tighter as the fireworks create incredible looking patterns on the TV screen. I feel myself making a whole range of New Year’s resolutions as the world is filled with color for just a moment. All of my resolutions revolve around making my family happy, my daughter feeling safe always and loving my wife... or my ex-wife, is happy with her life as well.
“I don’t want to go to bed,” Jenny whines, starting on the moaning before the fireworks are even finished. “I don’t want to be left out of all the fun.”
“There isn’t going to be any fun, Jenny,” I try to reassure her, not that it feels like she’s listening to me. “We are all going to go to bed.”
“But Mommy has only just got here. I’ve missed her, I don’t want to go to sleep yet.”
“We can stay up a little while longer,” Rebecca declares while wrapping her arms tighter around Jenny. “Because I have missed you too. But not for too much longer. We do need to get some sleep because we might have something fun to do in the morning.”
“Something fun? Like what?”
“I don’t know yet, but we have to go to bed to find out, don’t we?”
“Okay, Mommy, whatever you say.”
At least it seems like we won’t have to miss each other anymore. We won’t have to share Jenny’s time any longer. We can all be together yet again. I don’t know where, and I don’t know how it’s going to work, but it looks like we’re going to fight through any challenges together.
31
Rebecca
December 31st
“I didn’t think you would ever be able to get her to bed,” I laugh as Taylor and I both step away from our daughter’s bed. “She was so determined to stay up all night long, that I thought she would fight it to the bitter end.”
“Me too, if I’m honest.” Taylor wipes sweat from his forehead. “She has missed you so much that I don’t think she was willing to give up a second of time with you.”
That makes me feel warm inside, knowing that by putting our fears to one side, we are giving her a family again, so she doesn’t have to worry about spreading her time between us. She can be with us all the time, just like it used to be. We can even all live in the same house together, like we used to. Our relationship, maybe even our marriage, can come back.
“Well I’m glad I came. Not just for Jenny, but for you as well.”
I hold out my hand and slip my fingers through Taylor’s, immediately feeling all kinds of right as I do. Yep, this is a million times better than being in any sweaty night club. This is how I want to spend the rest of my New Year’s Eves forever. With Taylor, with my family.
I am a bit worried about how Maggie will take this, I have left her to go back to the man I promised I would never go back to again, but I know this is right and I’m sure that eventually she will see it too. She’s going to have to one day, because this is for real now. This is forever.
“Well, I’m so glad that you’re here as well. I can’t believe it.” Taylor has such a warmth in is voice. I can’t help but smile as I listen him talk. “I never thought that we could be back to this place again, and I’m so glad that we are here.”
He spins me around fast and kisses me hard, knocking the wind from my body in the very best way. It feels absolutely incredible to have his mouth on mine, claiming me all over again. To have his hands in my hair, his thick strong body pressed up against me, and be here in this place is all I have ever wanted. How could I have assumed that I could walk away from this forever and never come back to this man? I would never be able to ignore this chemistry for the rest of my life. It’s too powerful. And it isn’t just the chemistry, is the love as well. The love that is cycling through all of me, making my life worth living.
I have coped just fine without Taylor in my life, I have proven to myself that I can do it, I don’t need him... but I want him…
Fuck it, I give in and let him kiss me, let his hands work their way all over my body. It seems like he wants to feel me everywhere, and my God, I want that too. I want his lips, his fingers, his tongue, his cock- everywhere. Me and him have tip toed around one another for long enough, and it hasn’t gotten us anywhere. We have already proven that we can’t avoid one another, we can’t be apart, we can’t ignore this temptation… or this love, so I think it might be time for us to finally give each other what we want, and all of what we want.
As our clothes shed away in the heat of a deep passion so intense, I know that I have already lost my mind, and I don’t care, I feel a new sultry seductive passion growing between us. Something more intense than we have ever had before because it combines everything. Love, romance, passion, desire, the in-depth knowledge of each other’s bodies combined with the need to never lose one another again…
It’s going to be different from here on out, I can just feel it. Different, but so much better…
* * *
“So, this is us forever now, is it?” Taylor asks as I curl my body into his for a much-needed hug. “You and me against the world?”
“Sure is,” I agree with a nod. “I’m never walking away from this again. Unfortunately for you, you’re stuck with me.”
“Ooh, good. I like the sound of that.” He kisses me all over my cheeks. “You might as well be my wife again then, don’t you think?”
“Your wife?” I cock a surprised eyebrow. “That better not be how you’re asking me. I mean, I don’t want a big massive proposal again, and the last thing I want is an expensive wedding because the first time around was a nightmare, but I do expect a little bit more romance than that!”
I’m joking really, but Taylor nods in total agreement with me. “Oh, that wasn’t me asking you. That was just me suggesting what may or may not happen in the future...”
“Can you actually believe that we are here talking about the future again?” I let out a little laugh. “If you told me a few weeks ago that this would happen, I never would have believed it. Any of it.” I narrow my eyes at him. “But you did, didn’t you? I really feel like you planned this. Don’t try to deny it, because I was suspicious right away. The moment I heard from Larry that you wanted to take Jenny for Christmas, I thought something was up. I just couldn’t ever see you being that cruel.”
He sits up straight and stares at me. There’s a little bit of horror in his eyes as if he’s been caught out. “So, you knew all along?”
“I d
on’t know about all along,” I admit. “But I think I felt it in my gut. I ended up coming along for the very reason of finding out the truth... oh, and for Jenny as well of course, because she really wanted me here...”
“Oh yeah, for Jenny.” He rolls his eyes in a teasing manner. “Of course. I believe you. Plenty wouldn’t, but I do.”
“It was!” I attempt to insist, not that I think he fully believes me. “Seriously, it was for her.”
“I know, I know. I’m just winding you up... but I do think it was a bit for me as well.”
I lean up and kiss him, relishing the taste of his mouth against mine. Every other time we have kissed, I haven’t savored it enough. But now I’m going to remember every aspect of every single kiss we ever share because it’s so important to me.
Yep, this is a love worth fighting for, this is a relationship worth swallowing my pride, learning how to trust, and giving everything of myself over to. Taylor is worth everything to me, this family is my life, and I cannot wait for us all to grow together, back into love, back into our lives.
32
Taylor
January 1st
This is the best way to wake up on any morning, with the love of my life by my side, never mind the morning of a brand new year. I can’t stop looking at her, I can’t stop my eyes from desperately wanting to see every inch of her, I’m a bit scared if I take my eyes away, she will vanish all over again. She’s an angel to me, the most beautiful woman in the world, the absolute love of my life, and I have her here in my arms once more.
“You are one lucky bastard,” I tell myself with a smile. “How did you manage it?”
I almost want to call Archie, tell him what happened, to make it that much more real, but I stop myself at the last moment. That would be weird, like a kiss and tell kind of deal, and that’s definitely not what this is. This is real love, my life back to how it needs to be, not some sorted sex story to tell anybody else. I mean, the only reason I want to call Archie anyway is to make it feel a lot more like it’s really happened, to have a congratulations from my friend and work colleague about achieving my goal that I wanted to happen so desperately. I’m sure he is going to be happy for me...