by Maine, Miley
My son tilts his head to one side and stares at me with curious eyes. I really need to remember that he is only six years old and doesn’t understand these adult problems. I need to keep as much of it away from him as I can. It isn’t his fault that he’s the only person I have to talk to around here.
“Now have you completed that math sheet yet?” I step over to him and have a look at what he has done. Unfortunately, I’m so exhausted that I can hardly see the words and numbers, never mind understand them. I blink a few times wondering how the hell I am even supposed to teach my son from home when I’m too tired to do anything. Tears boil up behind my eyes and I know they are about to fall at any given second, so I have to brush them away quickly, so Travis doesn’t see them. “Okay, I will mark this while you have a go at the English work I have set for you.”
I’m trying to balance this with the data entry that I’m still trying to complete at the same standard I have always been doing, but I’m failing at everything miserably. I’m stretched too thin to really focus on anything properly, which is a massive issue.
“Mommy?” All of a sudden Travis snaps me from my blurry focus. “Someone is knocking on the door. Should I go and answer it?”
I never know who it’s going to be at the other side of that door, I’m always worried that it’s going to be bay lifts or something like that.
“No, it’s okay Travis.” There is no way in hell I want him to be involved in anything like that. “You carry on. I will go and see who it is. You get that work done first.”
My heart pounds nervously as I walk towards the door. I think I might actually be shaking. Since things have been going so badly for me at the moment, I can only picture this as more bad news, something else to pile on my shoulders and to crush me, to stamp on me while I am down.
I swing the door open to see who is on the other side, and I’m actually shocked when it’s Marc from next door.
“Oh!” Oh my God, please tell me he isn’t here to ask me out on a date again. My resolve weakens every time he asks me out and I find it hard to keep saying no over and over again. “Hello, can I help you?”
“Hi, yes.” He nods slowly. “I’m out of sugar and don’t have time to pop to the store this morning before work. Is there any chance I could borrow some?”
I narrow my eyes curiously at him. This is weird, isn’t it? He’s a damn millionaire by the looks of it, even if he does still live in this small neighborhood, so why the hell would he need sugar from me? I can’t even damn well afford sugar! But I don’t want to be rude, and I also feel like I have been enough of a bitch to him already. I need to be polite.
“Err, sure, come in.” I step aside to let him in my home, wondering how badly he will judge me since it’s obvious I don’t really have anything and it’s clear that I’m struggling due to the mess. But I just haven’t had time to do much housework with everything else that’s going on. “I will go and see what I have.”
My heart is actually racing, even more, knowing who I’m dealing with here. There is something about Marc that puts me on edge, and I don’t know if it’s in a good way or bad way. It’s obviously in a bad way because I’m not supposed to be on edge about anyone.
“Thank you, I really appreciate this. I know it’s a pain, but I just have to have my caffeine before I get in to work. I do have a coffee machine in the office, but it’s nowhere near as good as the stuff I have at home.”
“Sure.” I smile, acting as if I know exactly what he’s talking about, but I’ve never had that glamorous job in an office, so I really don’t have a clue. “You can’t beat what’s at home.”
“Marc!” Travis lights up the moment he sees him. He loves our next-door neighbor; he always gets on really well with him. “Come and help me with my homework.”
“Homework?” Marc appears understandably confused. “Shouldn’t you be in school right now rather than studying at home?”
“Travis!” I snap, not wanting to explain this to Marc at all. He’s already trying to get involved in my life and I don’t want to push that even further, especially when things are so complicated and up in the air. It’s embarrassing to admit what we are going through. “Just get back to work, will you? Don’t disturb Marc, he needs to get to work in a moment.”
“No, it’s okay, I can help you, Travis...”
As they walk into the front room together to work, I feel an intense sense of hopelessness overcome me. All I want to do is pull them apart, but I won’t be able to do that without seeming like I am insane. Travis will hate me more than he does already, and Marc will think I’m weird. I have no choice but to hurry up and to get the sugar instantly before this gets harder than it already is.
“Shit.” I can hear them talking, I don’t know what the hell is being said and it makes me nervous. It’s making me shake all over. By the time I do find the damn sugar I will drop it at this rate!
Finally, I put my hands on the sugar and I race into the front room to hand it over. Travis and Marc both look guilty, which of course makes me feel terrible. But all I can do is act like everything is cool and get him out of here.
“So, here is the sugar,” I said through gritted teeth. “Sorry, there isn’t much left in the packet.”
“Thank you,” he says gratefully. “I will replace this later on. You don’t know how much this means to me.”
“Oh, right, thank you.” God, that means I will have to see him again. “See you soon then.”
As soon as I get Marc out of the front door, I turn to Travis and ask him what was said, but my son only tells me that he helped him with his work. He isn’t giving anything away, which either means there is nothing to tell me, or he’s keeping something away from me. If he has said anything about the school, then I will end up in a real state. But I suppose there’s nothing I can do about it now. I just have to hope and pray that nothing comes from it. I prefer if I don’t see Marc again either. Even if I lose out on the sugar...
* * *
Marc hands me the sugar back but doesn’t let me take it from him. His hand remains on mine, he strokes my skin gently, sending electrical shocks all the way through my body.
“What’s going on?” I ask him with a tremble. “What’s happening here?”
“You know what’s going on. You and me... it’s been going on for a long time.”
I know this isn’t real, it can’t be, I would have stopped it a long time ago if it was actually happening. This has to be a dream which is why I let him meet me up in his arms and press those gorgeous lips of his to mine. God, he feels good kissing me like that. I’m on fire all over.
The next thing, Marc has my back on the bed, and his thick throbbing bulge is pressed between my legs. He’s massive, and he’s making the butterflies flapping violently in my core even more excitable.
“You want me, don’t you?” he murmurs as he grinds against me. “You act like you don’t want me, but you do. I can feel it already.”
I don’t know how it happens, but my clothes seem to melt off my body. Thankfully, Marc is naked as well, which means I can really feel him. I roll my hips and arch my back, trying to let him know just how much I want him. But apparently, my body language isn’t enough...
“Tell me,” he growls. “Tell me how much you want me.”
“I do,” I gush while my nails dig into his skin. “I want you so bad it hurts.”
Thankfully, Marc isn’t messing around. He slams into me, the hard thrust sending my head spinning already. My whole body is burning hot, bubbling with desire, swimming in passion and every thrust has me seeing so many stars I can’t handle it.
“Fuck.” Something is happening to me. Something so crazy I can’t hack it. I’m hot and tensed up. Ready to explode. “Fuck, Marc...”
He’s whispering into my ear, telling me all sorts of lovely things, his words are so sweet and romantic, the complete opposite to the way he is totally claiming my body with his own. I think it must be the combination of them both which causes the orgasm to screa
m through me, to hit me so hard and feel like Marc has completely knocked me off my feet...
Yep, this has to be a dream, because reality has never felt this good. Sex has never felt that way. I thought I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t as intense as that. But perhaps I can have Marc as a little fantasy inside of my head, that way I can kind of have him, without involving all the emotional baggage that would come with a real relationship. I can sort of move on without actually moving on because much as I love this house we might have to go soon. I can’t see this lasting for much longer...
5
Marc
December 21st
“Thank you very much, Mr. Smith,” the Dean of the school smiles and shakes my hand. “I appreciate the check you have just given us. That makes a big difference to the school, and of course, we want Travis back in education. It’s important for every child to learn.”
Hmm, so important that costs a lot of money. Not that I want to say that out loud, because things are on a high here and I don’t want to mess them up. Instead, I grit my teeth and smile.
“You are welcome. And that would definitely cover him for the rest of the school year. Am I right?”
“You are a very generous benefactor, Mr. Smith. You have paid all of the outstanding that Miss Brown had accrued. And covered the rest of the year. I’m sure she will be incredibly grateful to you.”
I think so as well. Aisha might not have agreed to go on a date with me yet, but from what I have seen apart she is always a mother first and foremost. Travis comes first at all times, so there is no way she can be annoyed at me helping her child out. I think she’s going to be really happy. Plus, it will make her life a lot easier. Everyone wants their lives to be made easier, don’t they?
“Well, I better get to work.” I rise from my seat and shake her hand to say goodbye. “But thank you for this.”
“Just before you leave, may I ask how you found out about Miss Brown’s financial difficulties?”
“She’s my next-door neighbor. We are very good friends.”
I’m hoping that’s going to be enough information. I don’t want to have to start getting into the nitty gritty details of how I asked Travis while Aisha was out of the room, and he told me everything.
“Ah, I see. So, the two of you aren’t dating then?”
“Erm... no.” I can’t work out why this would be important. “Does that matter?”
“Well, only because I was thinking I might like to ask you out.”
Oh God, I was not expecting that. Sure, this woman is quite young for the Dean of a school, but I still assumed that since she has about a decade on me, there isn’t a chance on how she would be interested in me... but it seems I was wrong.
“I actually have a girlfriend,” I say regretfully. “Sorry about that. But thank you for everything else.”
“Let me just give you my business card,” she replies, not bothered at all. “Then if anything goes wrong with that girlfriend of yours... well you can just give me a call.”
I take the business card so as not to be rude, even though I know I will be sorting it out as soon as I get home. This is more what I’m used to though, women making over to ask me out, so I never have to worry about anything. This is why it’s weird for me that when everyone seems so immune to my charms and I just don’t get it when I have put more effort in to Aisha than anyone else but she still keeps a distance from me.
Then again, perhaps this will show how much I care, this will make a difference and she will understand that I’m not just a playboy, but someone who is genuinely interested in her. Once she realizes that I’m serious, I think she might say yes to this date after all. Now wouldn’t that be perfect? A great way for us to start our relationship. We both together at Christmas. I really like the idea of that. Doesn’t have to be too stressful either because we live so close together, just a perfect way for neither of us to be alone, and for the both of us to finally find happiness together.
At least, that’s what I think is going to happen when we finally get together.
Once I head out of the school, I don’t go to the office like I have just suggested to the school Dean, instead I go to the greetings card shop to get a Christmas card for Aisha. I don’t want to blast in to her life and act like I am the hero by telling her that I have saved the day and paid for her son’s education, but I do need her to know so she will get Travis back in school. I think a Christmas card with the receipt inside is the perfect way to do it.
No, I just have to hope that she takes it well. I hope that she doesn’t freak out and kick my ass.
I don’t think she’s going to kick my ass, I really think she’s going to be over the moon about this. I smile to myself as I imagine what her face is going to look like.
Inside the greetings card store, I found myself a little baffled. For some reason, picking up the perfect card is harder than paying off the school fees for Aisha. I need to get the tone right, I need to seem not too pushy, not too romantic, nice and friendly, well also trying to let Aisha know that I had done something particular for her.
“Would you like a hand?” the girl behind the counter asks me. “I can help you if you’re trying to pick out a Christmas card for someone special.”
I do want her help really, I don’t know how I can do this on my own, but after what happened with the Dean of the school I don’t know if I can handle another woman flirting with me. I’m not in the mood to push people away or give any kind of rejection.
“I’m okay, thank you.” I force a smile on my face. “I will pick something in a second.”
She has put the pressure on me now, which may well be a good thing because I end up picking up a card much quicker than I probably would have done otherwise. I pay for it rapidly and head outside to find a wall to lean on so I can write it. I need to get this written and gift it to Aisha instantly, so Travis knows he can get back to school. I know from our conversation that he is missing it terribly, and I’m sure that Aisha is struggling to juggle everything. I can’t even begin to imagine how stressful her life is.
“What the hell do I write in it?” I murmur to myself. “How do I express my feelings?”
In the end, I write a very basic message. To Aisha and Travis, I hope you have an amazing Christmas and I hope this helps you. From Marc. It doesn’t feel like enough, but I don’t see what else I can do. Anyway, if I end up worrying too much, I will end up talking myself out of handing over this card and my next-door neighbors both need to see it.
“Right, come on,” I whisper to myself. “Let’s go and do this.”
Nerves do capture me as I walk towards Aisha’s home, I start to wonder if it’s going to go down badly, but I don’t let them stop me. I get to her front door and knock before I can freak out anymore.
“Hi...?” Aisha looks just as confused and bewildered as she always does when she sees me. “Can I help you?”
“I have a Christmas card for you.” I feel a bit silly as a hand it over now. “I just wanted to bring it over...”
“Right... thank you. I haven’t sorted out my cards yet. I know it’s getting a bit late in the year...”
“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not expecting one back...”
“I will get you one, just as soon as I have the chance.”
It quickly becomes clear that she isn’t going to open the card here and now which may well be for the best since the tension is already incredibly thick between us.
“Right, well I’m going to go.” I step back needing to get away from the awkwardness. It’s starting to get a bit too much for me now. For her as well, I can see it. “I will see you later on.”
“Sure, yes, thanks again. For the card I mean, that’s really nice of you...”
“No worries, it’s fine.” I smile at her but don’t get that back “Bye then, speak soon.”
“Yes, goodbye.”
I can feel her eyes piercing through me as I walk away. The sensation of her eyes upon me makes me wish I could witness her
face when she opens the envelope and see what I have done, but I suppose I have to do whatever makes her feel happy. Hopefully, I will find out her feelings the next time I see her. Fingers crossed it will be incredible. I’m really hoping that she will finally look at me for real.
* * *
There is a hammering on the door, one so loud it shakes me from my nap. I shouldn’t be sleeping anyway, I have so much work to get done, to make up for today and my time off because of the meeting, so this disturbance is welcome... although I have the impression already that it’s going to be a negative one.
“Oh, Aisha.” Shit, she looks mad... This definitely isn’t a positive reaction I was expecting. “Are you okay?”
“What the hell is this?” she snaps furiously while waving the receipt at me. “What the hell did you do? Why would you do this? What do you think you were doing? How could you do this to me?”
“I... I...” I don’t know what to say, I’m a bit blown away. “I wanted to help...”
“I don’t need your help.” She snorts angrily. “I’m not a charity case. You don’t just go around and do this sort of thing for people without asking them first. This is embarrassing, do you even get how humiliating this is? It’s bad enough that the school knows how much I’m struggling financially, but to have someone come in to do this... I don’t even know what to say. I don’t think I can take Travis back into school after you’ve done this. How can I face people? Did you even think about that?”
“I...” Why the hell can’t I think of any words that I found myself? I haven’t done anything wrong, yet I feel like I have.
“You just assume because you’re so flash, and you have lots of money that you can embarrass me like this? You think this is a good thing? I don’t even know who you are...”
“I want to know who you are,” I try, wanting to let her see how nice person I am. “I want you to know me as well.”
“And this... this is how you get to know people? This is the sort of thing you do?”