If you think anything has changed about Jerry Brown and his budget plans…
If you have ever spilled Kool Aid all over your “Give Peace a Chance” tee shirt while celebrating Obama and the death of Osama bin Laden…
If you think Civil Rights means that all white Americans are, by definition, guilty and that African Americans are, by definition, innocent…
If you think that being against the Federal Department of Education is the same as being “against education”…
...you might be a liberal. (YMBAL)
“The human being is in the most literal sense a political animal, not merely a gregarious animal, but an animal which can individuate itself only in the midst of society… Democracy is the road to socialism.”
—Karl Marx
“How do you tell a communist? Well, it’s someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It’s someone who understands Marx and Lenin.”
—Ronald Reagan
28: NASCAR VERSUS KWANZAA
If you hate everything about NASCAR, but think Kwanzaa is great…
There are few American institutions that liberals misunderstand more than NASCAR. Forcing a liberal to endure a NASCAR race would probably rival the torture of Abu Grahb prison—without the possibility of a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts. I mean, liberals hate NASCAR so much that they are not even swayed by the fact that there was a driver (now retired) named Dick Trickle.
The reasons NASCAR is anathema to the liberal mind are many. Perhaps nothing captures this more than the fact that there is a distinctly Southern flavor to NASCAR, and it’s a flavor that NASCAR came by honestly. And by Southern flavor, I really mean redneck. The cathedrals of the sport are not in New York or San Fran or Seattle or any other proper liberal bastion. No, the NASCAR Hall of Fame is in Charlotte. And it is located on—now get this—Martin Luther King Boulevard. You would think that would buy some credibility for NASCAR in the mind of the liberal, but alas…
Other key NASCAR attractions can be found in such places as Talladega, Darlington, Bristol and Daytona.
At any rate, the Southern appeal can be traced to the roots of the sport. You know there is not a chance in hell that liberals are going to like a sport founded on the very premise of reducing one’s tax burden. Yes, avoiding taxes is the underlying principle that led to this activity. It was destined to be a conservative sport from the start.
Stock car racing—as NASCAR was formerly referred to—literally started as a Sunday hobby for the best moonshine runners in the Carolinas and other parts of the South. Being proper church folk and all, they would never think about runnin’ their shine on the Sabbath. Racing is what the shiners did with their cars on their days off. The first cars were souped up not to gain the checkered flag. They were fast so they could outrun the ‘revenuers.’
In liberal speak, a revenuer would be a dedicated public servant working for the collection department of the magnificent Department of the Treasury. Or, as they were referred to in the New Testament, tax collectors. Thus, there is absolutely no contradiction in out-running government revenuers six days a week and worshipping Jesus the seventh.
So after six days of hard labor making and delivering shine, the good ole boys would get together on Sunday and race their machines. Perhaps some of the more successful drivers even used their product in their gas tanks. These are, literally, the roots of NASCAR.
Now naturally, anything that began this way, and in this part of the country, is destined to baffle liberals. After all, the sport combines a delicious and sometimes counter intuitive blend of racin’, religion, advertising, free enterprise, scantily clad women, confederate flags, fried chicken, brown liquor, speed, a gratuitous use of fossil fuels, lots and lots of white folks, and, from time to time, a Republican politician.
Ronald Reagan giving the “gentlemen, start your engines” command at the Daytona 500 is still a goose bump moment for any red blooded Southerner, be they a NASCAR fan or not. Liberals likely break out in hives at the very thought of Ronald Reagan at a NASCAR event.
Oh, and racial diversity is not yet among the achieved priorities of the sport. It’s not that there is any racist aspect to NASCAR. It’s just that the moonshiners from the sport’s genesis were a bunch of white guys, and, as it organically grew, it grew inside a very much Caucasian universe. As to whether this played into NASCAR’s decision to put their Hall of Fame on MLK Boulevard or not is open to speculation. At the very least, it shows a good sense of humor. (Something else a liberal might not understand).
Unlike, say, Kwanzaa, NASCAR was never a fabricated attempt to be an in your face affront to some other’s supposedly racist institution. Liberals love ‘the ancient ritual’ of Kwanzaa. NASCAR is actually older than ‘the ancient tribal tradition’ of Kwanzaa—by a few decades. But please don’t tell your local TV news crew. You know, the one that goes out to the Kwanzaa celebration every year and tries to figure out how to hide the fact that there’s only thirteen people at the event, while ignoring the fact that a black activist professor started it in the ’60’s as the black alternative to Christmas.
As an aside: Local TV news broadcasts are so clichéd and predictable, and the Kwanzaa routine is a yearly ritual in stupidity—just like the predictable soup line scene every Thanksgiving, and the anti-war scene every time the US military does anything under a Republican President. For all the liberals who are creative, liberal journalists are the most uncreative creatures on the planet.
Which is why they ignore the fact that Kwanzaa is militantly racist while NASCAR is nothing of the sort.
As a matter of fact, as a merely casual observer of NASCAR, I remember when the great Dr. J (ABA and NBA star Julius Irving) and former NFL running back Joe Washington started a NASCAR team. This was quite a story, two African American athletes investing a ton of their own money—not to mention their legacies—into what so many liberals assume is a racist institution.
Dr. J and Joe Washington didn’t agree with that assumption. In addition to having a passion for racing, they formed this partnership, along with Dr. Pepper, for the express purpose of bringing the African American community and NASCAR closer together. Clearly the Doc and his partners would not have even thought about doing this were there any overt (or even covert) racism in the sport. Many NASCAR fans remembered Doctor J from the old Virginia Squires and New York/Jersey Nets of the ABA, and, of course, the Philadelphia 76ers of the NBA , and were pulling for Dr. J’s team to succeed.
That he and Washington did not is simply testament to the fact that this is a damned competitive sport. Many whites fail at it all the time, too.
Nonetheless, the lily whiteness of NASCAR is one reason liberals cannot stand the sport. There’s more non-whites in a single Benetton commercial than there will be on race day in Daytona, among several hundred thousand folks. Of course, the same is true of the Indianapolis 500, but open wheel Indy racing doesn’t tick liberals off like NASCAR does.
No, looking down their noses at NASCAR is just another way that liberals can feel good about themselves. As we know, NASCAR folks no doubt cling to their Bibles and their guns.
And NASCAR folks are secure enough to laugh at themselves every once in a while. Every race is preceded by a benediction, which in and of itself is a problem for liberals. One particular benediction included a preacher giving thanks in front of hundreds of thousands of fans for his “super hot wife.” Yes, I realize this was a spoof from the movie Talladega Nights, but this was NASCAR spoofing Hollywood, who thought they were getting the last laugh on NASCAR. Not so. I’ve no idea what the guy’s wife looks like, but if she is hot, then he, indeed, needs to be thanking God for her daily. And the crowd loved it.
Now this kind of self-deprecating humor is just not something ever found in the liberal mind. Liberal Hollywood thought they were being really sophisticated by their cartoonish and buffoonish attempt at humor. The hick redneck response was actually born of a much higher intellectual level.
&nb
sp; Anyway, liberals project, as we know, and thus they love to feed the perception of rednecks and hicks as racists, unlike the very enlightened Ivy League. Never mind that Jeremy Lin faced slurs like ‘chink’ and ‘sweet and sour’ while he played for Harvard, as recently as 2010. That’s right. Sports Illustrated broke that bit of news the same weekend the ever-sensitive ESPN had a headline referring to a bad game by Lin that read, “Chink in the armor.”
People lost their jobs over that headline at ESPN. How niggardly of the executives!
So in recent months, the high and might Ivy League was slurring Jeremy Lin and politically correct ESPN was joining in. Let’s compare them to the supposedly backwards and racist NASCAR community. Way back in the ’80’s, during the twelve awful years known as “Reagan-Bush,” racing welcomed a black driver to their ranks named—now get this—Willie T. Ribbs. Who needs slurs like ‘chink in the armor’ and ‘sweet and sour’ with a name like that?
And yet, there were no race related problems with Mr. Ribbs.
Liberals are, of course, obsessed with race, which explains why they are so fraudulently over-sensitive to what they perceive as racism in places like NASCAR. We can laugh at their ignorance of the NASCAR culture, but again, these folks are dangerous when they can take their misguided beliefs into the halls of power.
But racism is far from the only problem liberals have with NASCAR. The carbon footprint is another thing that really grates on the liberal mind. Let’s face it, there has never been a single Prius or Volt in NASCAR. I can see it now:
The quietest race in NASCAR history: The Berkeley 30. Instead of ‘gentlemen start your engines’ we could have ‘Transgenders, unplug your batteries!’ And keep the noise down in the crowd. We can’t tell if the damned cars are running or not.
Yes, the carbon footprint of a single NASCAR weekend is, no doubt, massive. It’s enough to make Al Gore jump in his Gulfstream and fly to some mega resort somewhere to trade some carbon offsets. In addition to the fuel sucking engines that the race cars themselves have, many NASCAR events are several day affairs, where all manner of RV’s and pick up trucks and SUV’s are gathered together, along with several hundred thousand people, to watch the competition. The very essence of what is being celebrated is raw American-made power and speed as provided by the gasoline combustion engine and carried by petroleum products made by Goodyear or Hoosier or Firestone.
The whole scene is big and loud and requires a ton of energy consumption. And more than that, it’s a happy scene. Liberals are instinctively upset when they see too many happy conservatives. And NASCAR fans are by and large happy—that is, unless some damned Yankee like Jeff Gordon from Indiana is winning too much. (Q: What do Jeff Gordon and his fans use for birth control? A: Their personalities).
But you get the idea. Race weekend is a celebration, an event, a happening.
And with liberals, it’s bad enough when fossil fuels are burned. But when they are burned for the simple pleasure of conservatives, then that’s just beyond the pale. And if there’s a good reason to believe that these conservatives mostly like meat, use tobacco, worship God and like to flaunt their heterosexuality—well, then that’s just liberal hell on earth.
Which is interesting, because liberals generally don’t believe in hell, except on earth.
The final touch on why it is that liberals hate NASCAR is that, like a lot of Southern traditions, the notion of the proper role of boys and girls in society runs afoul of good liberal dogma. The boys do the driving and the tire changing and all of the heavy lifting, while the girls’ job is more or less to adorn the surroundings. Remember now, we have established the fact races are an event where the phrase “smokin’ hot wife” can be part of an opening benediction. To God. The God of the Christian Bible. And it got a huge cheer.
(And no, liberals, benediction has nothing to do with certain gender related surgeries now covered by the City of San Francisco’s medical plan).
Yes, I know that Danica Patrick is now driving some on the NASCAR circuit. However, I submit to you that Danica’s engine is not the only thing that is ‘smoking hot’ inside her car. Moreover, this fact is not lost on the massive NASCAR audience. I wonder if she would have sponsors if she looked like, say, Andrea Dworkin.
In other words, NASCAR is a perfectly aligned universe of Americana, and that’s what vexes liberals. The engines are loud and powerful. The cars are fast. The heroes are celebrated. The food is brown and plentiful. So is the bourbon. God is held in high esteem, and so are Ronald Reagan and beautiful women. And so is blatant heterosexuality and a smidgeon of danger.
And all of this started as a way not to pay the tax collectors. Naturally.
YMBAL’S #28
If you vote the way the majority of the felons are voting…
If you accidently “lost the ballots in the mail” of our service men and women during the last election…
If you think business owners should sit around and let the government tax or regulate them out of business instead of moving their operations overseas…
If you think it helps your employment situation when your boss gets hit with a huge tax bill or severe regulations…
If you think insurance companies can lower rates, pay for every single medical item, cover pre existing conditions and illegal aliens…and stay in business…
If you agree with the Greek protestors that it is shameful to make folks wait til they’re 52 to retire…
If you think electric cars are the answer because “they don’t use energy”…
If you’ve ever been given riot instructions and matching tee shirts on the way to a political rally…
If you believe the Second Amendment should be repealed for American citizens because Eric Holder gave guns to Mexican drug lords and innocent people died…
If you think Jesus ever said anything about giving money to the government so that the government could then give it to the poor…
If you think Tea Party folks are racists but that Black Separatist are simply church goers…
If you’ve ever called a Black Conservative an Uncle Tom – and you have no idea who Uncle Tom is…
If you want to put terrorists on civilian trial but shoot Wall Street bankers on sight…
If you think your ATM card will still work at your OWS rally even if your bank is out of money…
If your desire to tax the rich does not extend to athletes, actors or high tech moguls…
If you think it’s “easy” to own and run a business or to climb the corporate ladder but hard to earn a teaching certificate…
If your racial sensibilities were offended by the scene with King Louie and the monkeys in ‘Jungle Book’…
If you are sure that there are no absolutes…and you are absolutely sure about it…
...you might be a liberal. (YMBAL)
“We must expose the stark difference between the Democrats fighting for the middle class and Republicans fighting for the elite and the ultra-wealthy.”
—Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, or was it Ed Schultz?
“A vast right wing network is pumping money into states to defeat the wage earners of America and the middle class, just undermining the middle class. That is the plan. They have infrastructure to go after middle class, union jobs, middle class wages in every single state.”
—Ed Schultz, or was it Debbie-Wasserman Schultz?
“Conservatism vests in and depends on the widespread, informed understanding of human nature, self-governance and the First Principle of Progress: free people interacting in free markets produce the greatest good for the greatest number always…”
—Mary Matalin
29: SARAH PALIN VERSUS THE IVY LEAGUE
If you think Sarah Palin is numb and Ivy educated Jamie Gorelick is smart…
One sure fire way to pick out a liberal is to find someone who thinks Sarah Palin is dumb, but that everyone with an Ivy League education is smart. This would include everyone in the NBC complex, for example—definitely t
he type of folks who think they know it all. Think back to all of the cocksure analyses we were given right after Palin resigned as Governor of Alaska. The template through which that decision was analyzed explains so much, as does the predictable combination of pedigree and yet abject, disastrous results of Jamie Gorelick’s career.
Short histories of these two women and how they are viewed is an illustrative case study on the liberal mind. To many liberals, Palin is simply the embodiment of normal people like you and I, and they hold us in similar contempt. Their anger at her is their fear of us, brought to life. Studying their reaction to her helps define what they think of conservatives who live outside of Washington and New York and who were educated outside the Ivy League.
Actually, it may be more accurate to say that the way liberals react to Sarah Palin demonstrates a profound disconnect which explains how and why liberals will never understand her, or much of America. It is actually a pretty decent object lesson as part of some of the bigger tensions that now divide this country. Those philosophical fault lines could be described as conservatives versus liberals, or elitists versus people who actually make the country work, or statists versus those in favor of liberty and free enterprise.
You Might Be a Liberal Page 22