"Finn."
"What?"
"Let it go."
A brooding pause. "Damn it, Val, why did you have to trust that shithead?"
Val shrugged, though no one could see it. "It was the only way, Finn. I took a calculated risk. Of course it was possible he was bait. It's equally possible that he could have been a straight-up kid who, if he had played his cards right, would have earned the right to profit and adventure besides the best damn crew I've ever played with. He decided digital currency is worth more than real life honor, and we'll never play with him again."
A thoughtful pause. "I still feel like crap," Julia said. "If I hadn't popped... if we had gotten in, it might have been a pickup race, but we would have gotten most of the pot!"
Val smiled. "Don't worry about it, Julia. No guarantee we weren't going to pop within seconds anyway. That lich was throwing off so much area effect dps just from bounceback off his primary attacks against me that it would probably have fried you, no matter what we did to counter."
"What a fucked up game," Finn cursed.
Val smiled and shrugged. "That it is, as much as I love it. On that note, I'm going to call it. Same time tomorrow?"
"Sorry, Val, extra school for me."
Val blinked. "You're in trouble with classes, Julia? I thought you were straight A?"
A rueful tinkle filled his headset. "Hardly, Val. Don't you remember? Mother is determined to get me into medical school, and so she signed me up for evening bio courses at the local community college, as if my regular course load wasn't enough."
Val winced. Julia had told him that just the other day when she had been grinding with him, both of them determined to master their Primal attack weaves. Honestly, he had enjoyed their conversation far more than the grinding. "Actually, that's pretty smart. Medical school or no, you're that much closer to a degree."
"Pretty much, and that way I can see if I actually like anything they teach, or if the home front's going to become a battleground."
Val smiled. "Hopefully not."
"I've got some real-life prep work to do myself, Val," Finn said. "I'll e-mail you when I next have some free time."
"Sounds good, Finn," Val said as his friend logged off.
"Val?" Julia, still logged on, her voice strangely tentative.
"Yes, Julia, what's up?"
"Did you ever serve?"
Val blinked at that, the silence suddenly stretching. "What makes you ask?" he finally said.
"Well, it's just your tone of voice, sometimes. Like you're giving orders. And the way you get so calm and focused when things are really going crazy. It kind of reminds me of my dad."
Val chuckled softly. "I guess I do get kind of intense, sometimes. Sorry if that throws you off."
"No. Actually, it's kind of neat. You remind me of him, actually. Are you active military?"
Val forced a smile in his voice, knowing it was time to change tracks. "Actually just a few years back, I was in high school myself. Maybe I've been playing too many military games. If I took my father's advice, I'd get out of my room and get out more. Make something of myself."
"Does he really say that? You don't come off as a layabout to me. Hmm... if I were to bet, I'd guess you're either in college, the military, or, I don't know, climbing up the corporate ladder?"
Val grinned. "Nope, sorry to disappoint you, Julia, but right now I'm just a guy who lives at home and spends too much time online."
"Oh." A thoughtful pause. "Have you ever thought of going to college? I can tell you're smart. I'll bet you'd do really well."
Val closed his eyes, allowing the screams and terror to flow through him, taking deep breaths, imagining the horrid pain fading to a brilliant white light, the sun glimmering in the clouds. And there he was, soaring in the majestic heavens, finally at peace, just embracing the moment. "I'd be going into my senior year, if I were at college," he finally said.
"Oh really?" Julia said brightly. "That's not too old, then. I'm going to college next year myself. You're still young, Val, you should really go."
Val laughed. "Maybe I should, Julia. You take care of yourself, okay? And good luck with the college courses."
"Thanks, Val, I get the feeling I'll need all the luck I can get." She paused then, and Val's brows furrowed as his eyes glanced at the clock, knowing his father would be coming soon. "Val?"
"Yes, Julia, what's up?"
"Have you ever heard of the game Endless?"
Val blinked and frowned, hands tightly gripping the arms of his specially designed chair. "Endless? I don't think I have."
"That's because it's still in beta testing. But from what I hear, it's totally next gen."
"Really."
"I know, that's what I said. But then I saw images of some of the graphics, and, my god, Val, you've heard about the VFX singularity, right?"
Val nodded. "The point at which digital games can't be distinguished from reality? Which begs the question, what is reality? And if we ever achieve it, are we really just tapping into the fundamental nature of everything?"
"Pretty much," Julia enthused. "Anyway, the still shots looked convincing enough, but when my friend and I got access to their locked site and checked out the livestream, all I can say is... wow. Those guys at ESI are not kidding! I hate to say it, but as much as I love playing Elerium with you, this game blows that out of the water."
Val chuckled. "And that's how it will always be. No matter how much you love a game, there will always be something new coming along that carries you away like your old game could only during those first beautiful weeks of play."
"Not like this," Julia declared. "Honestly, Val, this game Endless? I don't think it gets any better. I don't think it can." Julia paused, as if collecting herself. "I'm sorry, I'm going on a rant about a competing game, and it's not even out on the market. God, it might be years away, but seriously, Val, watching these characters act and move, it felt like I wasn't just watching a movie, but was taking a part in a real-life event! It really was incredible."
Val whistled. "All right, color me intrigued. If this game is even half that good, it sounds like something we could lose ourselves in for years, if we wanted."
"Right." Julia laughed. "Not that I will even want to touch that game if I actually get accepted to my mother's dream college and walk the path of becoming a doctor, but evening classes aside, this might just be my last summer to just go crazy and game my heart out before I have to be serious Julia for the rest of my life."
Val laughed. "You just might find being serious and goal driven leaves you more fulfilled than the games we love ever could. All jokes aside, I think your mother has some great plans for you, assuming medicine turns out to be your passion as well."
"I hope so," she enthused. "Honestly, I'd love it if I could make it. I hope I have the same passion for medicine as my mother, but I am totally filling out the application to intern at Endless. If I could spend this summer beta testing for the future game of the century, I'll take it in a heartbeat! If I can actually get paid? All the better."
"You do that," Val enthused, chatting for some moments longer before saying goodnight and beginning the arduous process of getting ready for bed, knowing he would need to take his medicine if he wanted to get any sleep at all, and hating the fact that he needed it so much. Yet once he was lying down, with only fire and darkness to keep him company, he knew he would be grateful for the pills he had taken. Sleep couldn't come fast enough.
But before he did that, he pivoted to his second computer with a painful grimace as he jostled his legs, quickly jotting notes in a spiral notebook which, for all its flaws, was invaluable in its inability to be hacked or compromised ever, then wiped the screen clean.
He looked at his notes and shook his head.
He would do nothing, of course. Salvin, aka Ramos Aldieren, was a 22-year-old California resident who had never finished college and was currently stuck in returns somewhere. He wasn't an enemy combatant.
; He didn't need to die.
Val grimaced and shook away the thought, a quick eyeball of his large semi-hemispheric computer table with its customized keyboards, monitors and mic showed nothing untoward, his notebook full of jottings hiding so much in disorganized, scribbled, plain sight.
With a satisfied nod he eased himself into bed at last, dropping into deepest slumber that quickly transformed into the most visceral of dreams. Blinking his eyes open to find himself awake and alert, strolling the Greenwood mall just a mile away, following behind a pair of animated voices, chatting about clothes, music, boys, and the colleges of their dreams. Val blinked, focusing in on the pair after recognizing Julia's voice, stunned to see her gazing back at him with a smile.
"Don't worry, Val, I'll still pass finals with flying colors."
And Val had smiled back, walking free and easy without pain, happy to help carry the girl's bags as the three of them started gossiping about their teachers and dreams for the future, and in that moment Val was not a scarred former soldier, but rather an enthusiastic high school student with his entire future before him and a beautiful friend to share it with.
Julia waved them forward, picking up her pace. "Come on, Val, I want to show you the coolest store! I know you'll love it. Their games are cutting edge!"
Val shrugged and smiled and the three of them picked up their pace, stopping only for gourmet ice cream which Val and Julia both loved, their friend passing as she was lactose intolerant, Val's eyes catching one of 3-D posters outside the mall theater they passed. Val grinned at the strange looking picture, showing a man stepping between worlds, a crackling sword of light and darkness in hand, leaving the mundane realm for some place full of magic and wonder. It looked so much like the classic science-fantasy films Val loved. Then he saw the face of the lead actor, now gazing back at him.
"Be careful, Val."
He swallowed, stopping cold, eyes locked upon pools of blackness. The face was his own.
He shook his head, forcing himself to look at the poster once more. No strange movements, it was no more life-like than any other movie display, but the words still rung through his head.
"Val, here it is, the shop I was telling you about!"
Val frowned, shaking away odd reverie, weaving past anxious shoppers as he raced to Julia's side, a cold tingle of dread suddenly racing down his spine.
He gazed at an animated Julia, even as her friend gave a tired sigh. "You know I'm not a gamer, Julia," the other girl said, her friend trying to coax her to go inside, just to check out the displays.
Shrugging, they entered together, auburn curls and twinkling green eyes bidding Val to follow. "Come on, Val, you'll want to..." and her words were abruptly cut off as she entered a wall of bubbling blackness that had been a store, just moments ago.
A wall of roiling darkness that stretched across the face of the store, the walkway beside it, now stretching as far as the eye could see.
Strangely, almost everyone seemed oblivious to it, for all that it seemed to swallow up anyone to pass through it, spitting out no one in turn.
Val shuddered, stumbling away from the hideous wall of inky darkness.
Then it began, ever so slowly, to creep forward.
"I told you, Val," whispered the strange papery voice of the movie poster, now right behind him.
"I told you to be careful. Now I'm going to have to kill you."
The figure from the movie poster tore itself free, slipping to the ground before sinking its teeth into a suddenly shrieking Val's neck.
Val awoke, throat raw with screams, the nightmare washing through him so fast that only terror remained. Nameless, awful dread, with only the septic scent of a battlefield surgery ward lingering upon his nose. He slammed aside all the pill bottles waiting for him that morning. This, more than anything else, was why he hated taking the drugs.
They always tormented him with the most awful dreams.
The next morning Val spent as he did near every morning since coming back home, losing himself in the wonders of Elerium, enjoying the simple experience of exploring an ever-expanding world, turning in quests for fame and glory, even helping out the occasional noob trapped in one of the easier dungeons that were perfect for newer players learning group mechanics but that only an idiot would try to solo, unless they were like Val, of course, and could actually pull it off. He was quite happy to spend the entire day in Elerium if he could get away with it. Because every hour he didn't need to take his medications, every hour he was not enslaved to his own pain was an hour hard-won, to his mind.
His father's knock suddenly reverberated through his room.
"Just a sec," Vall said, before forcing himself to his feet with a grimace, opening the door to his bedroom, gazing up into concerned hazel eyes of his father. With strong chiseled features and a thick shock of dark hair belonging to a man decades younger, his powerful physique was that of an athlete who had entered more than one triathlon, and trained for them still. Reminiscent of the person Val saw every day in his mirror. An older, undamaged version of himself.
"How are you feeling, Val?"
"Like my legs are on fire, dad."
His father nodded. "I know you haven't been taking your pain medications unless you're dying for sleep. I'm concerned."
"I'm worthless on those meds. I can barely think. I'm just floating in clouds all day. I won't get anywhere in life, high as a kite all the time."
His father sighed. "You've done enough. At ease, son."
Val squeezed his eyes shut, rubbing his temples. "Sorry, dad. The thought of not being sharp, not being in the moment, being just another drugged out wash-up, that cuts almost as deeply as the pain." He chuckled softly. "If I didn't know the medicine was just a couple feet away, I'd be screaming. I know it. But it's like an endurance race. I can stop at any time. So why not push for another few minutes, another hour? And if playing Elerium lets me do that, I'm happy to lose myself in running dungeons."
"I do understand, Val. But we're heading out, and I know how bad the pain gets for you when you're not distracting yourself. Take the Neurontin, at least. It's not an opioid, and it will help calm the nerves. If doctor Haussman is right, it will also help prevent the pain from becoming hardwired into your brain."
Val gazed reluctantly at the hated pill bottles. "Alright, dad. Since we're heading out, I'll take the damn pills. So I can go a few hours without sobbing in public."
His father nodded in approval, and Val knew he would bring the quick relief pain medicine, just in case Val needed it.
Val grimaced, taking his prescribed drugs, hating how they made him feel so foggy and helpless, but unable to deny the exquisite relief they brought.
And still, for all that, he forced himself to toddle on shaky legs so badly scarred that the skin looked like pockmarked parchment, as much ugly ragged scar tissue as skin and muscle. Not even the drugs were able to numb that agony as he made himself hobble to the dining room, conceding to the walker but refusing to use a wheelchair in the house, his father a calm step behind, allowing Val to do it himself, there to catch him if he stumbled and fell.
When he made it down the tastefully decorated hall into the grand kitchen, high arched ceilings as graceful as Val remembered his mother to have been, he breathed a sigh of relief, taking a few bites of the buttery crepes waiting for him along with with a cold glass of milk to wash it down.
His father's gaze was solemn. "It's good to see you back home." So much said with those words.
Val smiled. "I know how busy your business keeps you. I'm sorry to be cutting into your time so much."
A frown and shake of the head. "Not at all. You are my son. Smith has things well in hand, and the least I can do is make myself available to you on the weekends. Frankly, Val, I'm just grateful you accepted my invitation to move back in. This house is far too big for me to live in alone."
Val lowered his head, nodding slightly as memories of their entire family washed over him. Happy, healthy, together,
a sweet fantasy to eat to, closing his eyes and imagining his sister's laughter, his brother's gentle teasing, and their mother's warm smile. Then he ate his crepes and thought of nothing at all.
2
"Good hit, Alex, now follow through!"
Val grinned, enjoying himself more than he had thought he would after making the drive to the local HEMA club on the invite of Alex, a close friend from his high school days. Their mutual interests had progressed from MMORPG games to larping to sparring with well-balanced replicas of actual swords, Val not the only one to find mastering those old arts absolutely fascinating.
Together they and a few other friends had studied the basics not only of longsword, rapier, sword and buckler and English saber, but of ancient wrestling and dagger fighting as well. Skills that helped him excel at varsity wrestling, the only school sport he had bothered with in the four years he had attended.
Skills he would one day put to deadly use.
He flinched and shook his head, compartmentalizing ugly memories that had no place in the glorious gymnasium he presently found himself in, finely polished hardwood floors still smelling of beeswax, half the area covered in mats for freeform sparring or grappling, focusing intently as his friend and his sparring partner circled one another, teasing each other with probing thrusts and strikes.
Alex's opponent seized the initiative, lashing out of a fast, powerful Oberhau Val was sure would connect, even as Alex coolly step-slid to the side even as his blade whipped around in a powerful diagonal blow, aiming not for his foe's neck, but for the blade itself, Alex forcing it off line before following up with a jarring thrust his surprised opponent was unable to counter, the crack audible even from where Val was sitting. Alex's opponent collapsed to the ground with a wheeze after the perfectly timed blow.
Of course Alex was crouched right there beside his coughing opponent, checking up on him and giving pointers before helping his student up and sending him off with a clap on his back before making his own way to a smiling Val.
"So what do you think, Val? Do I still got the knack or what?" Alex took off his sparring helmet, brown curls and a brilliant smile showcasing perhaps the handsomest face among his friends, stopping only to give Val's father a firm handshake before reaching over to clap Val's shoulder, saying not a word about the wheelchair his friend had arrived in, and good enough not to flinch at Val's scarred face, treating him the same as he always had.
Endless Online: Oblivion's Blade Page 2