by J C Gilbert
And if I told the others about Elaine? What would they do? As far as they were concerned, Elaine was the source of all the chaos that we have been encountering on our quests into the books. What would Darcy do if he knew there was a book which could take him straight to Elaine? To a place where she was vulnerable? Would he hunt her?
Though I knew it would be an eternity for Elaine inside that garden world so far down wind from here, I needed time to make up my mind.
As I sat, deep in thought, the Librarian came walking towards me, knuckles to the ground. I didn’t fully register that she was there until she was close.
“You look like you are off with the fairies,” said the Librarian in her thick Scottish accent.
“That’s what my mom always says.”
“Mine too, actually. How have you been holding up? I know the last little while has been a strain–”
“I’m fine,” I said, maybe a little too quickly.
“It’s OK if you’re not,” said the Librarian. “I’m not fine either, you know. It’s important to talk about these things.”
“Can I have your opinion on something?”
“Ask away,” said the Librarian.
“If you needed to do something and you are fairly sure that it was the right thing to do but didn’t think that other people would agree, would you still do it?”
“The Librarian cocked her head and looked at me with her deep watery black eyes. “Planning something daring, are we?”
“No, just something I have been thinking about, you know? Like, when you think you know what’s right, do you go ahead and do it and risk disapproval? Or do you trust that when it comes to important things, the consensus is more important?”
“There is a writer in your world, I can’t remember his name, but something he said struck me. He said that to accept the standard of one’s age is a form of the grossest immorality.”
“What did he mean by that?”
“That it takes courage to do the right thing when the world disagrees. He was speaking from a time when there was great injustice in your world, as there still is in many ways. Oscar Wilde! That’s right, I knew his name had something to do with a forest.”
“Thank you, Librarian,” I said. “You have given me something to think about.”
The following day was a school day. I met Lilly in our usual spot. Lilly always had more energy than it was fair for one person to possess. She greeted me with the sort of hug that one might give to someone that they had not seen in ages. For all I knew, Lilly had not seen me in ages. It was difficult for someone like Lilly to resist the temptation to steal a few extra hours every now and then inside the dimension which she accessed through the gem that hung around the neck.
“Hey there, Keeper,” she said with a wink.
“Let’s not start that,” I said grinning at her.
“But it’s great,” she said, “people will be like, who’s that? And I’ll be like, she’s my friend Alex. She is a real Keeper. And then people laugh.”
“It’s a bit of a stretch, Lilly.”
“I’d laugh,” she said.
“You always do. I suppose you completed your math homework for the rest of the year?”
“You would think so, wouldn’t you? Somehow math is just as unappealing when I am in the other place as it is here. I’m not even sure that I’ll be able to cram before a test. I’d slip into my dimension and accidentally go on holiday. I have officially broken cramming.”
“Lilly Bennett, master of time and flunker of tests.”
“Sad but true. Hey, have you seen Darcy?”
“Should I have?”
“I just haven’t heard from him. You don’t think he has gone wandering through the worlds again?"
“He did seem pretty decided on taking his patrols in this world more seriously.”
“Still, you think he could respond to my texts.”
I shrugged. I knew why Darcy wouldn’t be responding to her texts. He was avoiding her, and if I had to guess, this was just as Lilly was starting to like him, like actually like him. It made me uneasy seeing Lilly wonder like this when I knew how he felt about her. I wasn’t sure about how Lilly would react to the news that she had lost several years of memory but didn’t know because she had forgotten. She needed to be told.
“What do you think you are you, psycho?” yelled a girls voice not far from us. It belonged to Amy Mathews. She had apparently been knocked to the ground, and her papers were sprawled everywhere. Daniel was there with Carl. Daniel had a sour look on his face and was charging off into the jungle that was the school grounds. Carl looked bewildered and awkwardly started picking up Amy’s papers. Carl had sidled back into school life sometime after Eric disappeared from the scene and did so without a word of explanation for his escape from the giant or subsequent disappearance.
“What do you think that was about?” I asked.
“Nothing a little ramen couldn’t fix,” said Lilly.
When I got home, Mom was working from the kitchen table. She had run into some unexpected paperwork when it came to the new collection which had kept her occupied a lot lately. The stacks of paper seemed utterly absurd in this day and age. When I walked in, it seemed like she had been writing furiously. Upon seeing me, she eagerly shut the folder she was working on and turned to greet me.
“This your new office then?” I asked.
Mom smiled warily. “You know how it is,” she said, “at least this way I get to skip the traffic. Oh, I have been meaning to ask you, do you know a boy at your school named Daniel?”
“Daniel? Yeah, he is Carl’s friend.”
“The mysterious Easter egg giving Carl?”
I immediately regretted saying his name. “The very same,” I said, making sure she could register my annoyance. Unfortunately, she was too distracted by the contents of her next sentence to notice.
“Well, if it’s the same Daniel, he has just started volunteering at the museum. I was wondering if you knew him. He has the most amazing mind in a 15-year-old kid that I have ever met. His knowledge of history alone is encyclopedic. He knows more than I do.”
“Yeah, I always thought he was smart.” I wondered to myself why I thought this and came to the conclusion that it was because whenever I saw him and Carl talking, they always seemed to be having the most serious conversations. They were not serious in the way that Darcy was serious, though. Darcy was serious in the same way a parking ticket was serious. Daniel and Carl were more the ‘we need to build a viable secondary civilization for the earth in case of catastrophe’ serious. “Funny you should mention him,” I said.
“Why is that, honey?”
“Oh, never mind.”
“You know, if things don’t work out with Carl, I think I might just be able to get you a date with Daniel, what do you say?”
“Bye Mom,” I said and retreated upstairs.
Once I had gotten over the feelings of pure awkwardness that always accompanied talking to my mother about boys, I started to think about the Darcy problem. If he was still in town, then there was a good chance that he was still sleeping at the school at night. I resolved to go down to the school after dinner and talk to him if I could.
The nights were warm now, and I was tempted to go out with only a t-shirt on. Deciding that I was better off too warm than too cold, I took my favorite maroon sweater and tied it around my waist anyway.
Just as I was about to leave a thought occurred to me. I smiled, and grabbed my copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, and stuffed it into my bag.
When I got to school, I could not help but remember the last time I had been there after hours. It had been a different Alex that fled from the alarms and struggled to keep up with Darcy’s running. Still, I didn’t want to be caught breaking and entering, so I kept to the shadows as best as I could until I was close enough to work my magic.
I focused on where I wanted to be, picturing the other s
ide of the locked school door. There was a pop as the universe gulped in air. For the briefest instant, I caught a glimpse of The Library flashing before my eyes, and then I was alone in the corridor. I made my way to the classroom where I had first discovered Darcy’s secret. As I drew closer, I could see a soft light emanating through the glass. Still quiet, I crept closer, then pushed open the door.
Darcy jumped to his feet, shock and surprise plastered all over his face.
I couldn’t help but laugh
“Alex! What are you doing?” he demanded, his eyes wide.
“Looking for you.”
“You scared me half to death!”
“I didn’t want you running away,” I said.
“Why didn’t you just text me?
“Because I heard you weren’t responding to texts.”
“Lilly?” he asked, his tone dropping.
“You can’t keep avoiding her, Darcy.”
“Why not?” asked Darcy, rubbing the back of his head with embarrassment.
“You are not being honest with her, and she deserves better than that.”
“Look, Alex, she has no memory of our past together. If I stay away, then what does it matter?”
“She was asking about you. Didn’t you get that? She liked you once.”
“But she doesn’t like me now. Not like that. I’ll just drift out of her life again. I need to, Alex. For my own sanity.”
“If the situation was reversed, and you knew that someone knew your memories had been tampered with, what would you want them to do?”
“I would want my memories, of course. But that’s different.”
“How so?”
“Because I would know that I was missing them. Lilly doesn’t.”
“Omitting the truth is still dishonesty, Darcy. I expected better from you.”
Darcy was silent.
“I would tell her, but this one is up to you,” I continued. “Just remember that not taking action is just as much a choice as taking action. If Lilly doesn’t know she’s missing her memories, then she doesn’t know that she can get them back. And in choosing not to tell her, you are complicit with whatever force that wiped her mind in the first place. It’s your choice, Darcy. She may get angry with you if you tell her, she may not believe you, but you are the one who has to live with your choices. Just make sure that your choice is actually a choice and not just fear. Trust me, you don’t want Hank driving your whole life.”
“Who is Hank?”
CHAPTER FOUR
Over the next few weeks, things returned to normal, well as normal as things ever are for me. The Librarian provided us with a steady stream of books that needed our help, and I set about doing what I could. At times it was just me alone venturing off into the strange worlds and helping all manner of different kinds of people. At other times Lilly joined me, and on those occasions, something was always sure to go wrong. As promised, Darcy spent most of his time in our world, seeking out unusual happenings and quelling potential threats to our existence. Sometimes he joined us, but he was always distant, always keeping himself at one remove from Lilly. Mr. O’Connor came and went, at times helping us out, but spending more and more time among the ‘pigeons and the pines’ and working on perfecting his chaos stabilization crystals.
Elaine was never far from my thoughts. Sometimes I thought I saw her here and there, atop a rocky cliff, turning down a busy street, or appearing at just the right time to let me know that I’d missed something. Part of me wished that she stayed where she was in that garden world, doing her best to repair the damage that she had done to the multiverse. But another part of me was glad to see her around. It was like having a sort of a guardian angel, always silent, always watchful. I never told Lilly or Darcy about the lilac book or about the visions of Elaine that I’d seen.
I continually put off the decision with regards to returning to the garden world and helping Elaine help her sister. At times I was almost set on returning to the garden and fulfilling her request and taking her with me into The Library. At other times, especially at times when I saw just how much destruction her actions had wrought on the multiverse, I wanted to hide the lilac book, to never use it, to never see it again.
One sunny Saturday afternoon, I went walking with Mom, and Dad, and Jonny up the mountain track not far out from the city. We used to go walking like this a lot when I was little, but it seemed like it had been ages since I had last spent any time with my family. It was becoming increasingly difficult to see Mom at all these days, so distracted was she with work.
Dad took the lead, always ready to be the first to reach a guidepost or track marker, and doing his best to act like he experienced no fatigue as he waited for us at the top of a hill or round the bend.
“I’ve been waiting if ages,” he said, standing as we reached the top of another ridge. He was clearly out of breath and was sweating profusely. If I had to guess, he had only just sat down.
“You won’t mind if we continue now,” said Mom, seeing right through him. “I think we are all OK to continue,” she added, turning to us.
Dad looked flustered. “Come on, love. The kids need to rest. The Internet raised them, you know.”
My adventures into the books of The Library and my regular cardio training had left me quite fit, and in much better shape than many people my age. Jonny likewise had started taking his physical exercise seriously. A lot had changed about Jonny since I first discovered The Library. I felt guilty for not knowing more about what was going on in his life. Today he did not look at all taxed by the walk but seemed to carry another sort of tiredness with him, a weariness that someone of nine years old really shouldn’t have.
“You need a rest, Jonny?” asked Mom.
“Huh?” asked Jonny, his mind somewhere distant.
“Are you sleeping OK?” asked Mom.
“Yeah, great. I think I can keep going.”
“You don’t look well,” said Mom.
“It’s OK if you want to rest,” I said.
“Look at that, Alex,” said Dad, apparently trying to make sure that we definitely did have a rest. He gestured at the view over the surrounding countryside. From our vantage point, we could see farms and houses and roads. I did my best to look suitably interested, but I wasn’t exactly sure how interested I was supposed to be. When you go for jogs atop the tallest mountains, have flown through the clouds on the back of a giant duck, or have ridden inside a flying taxi, the view from a ridge was a little too mundane.
“Wow,” I said, making a terrible impression of someone who actually had ‘wow’ in their regular vocabulary.
“Teenagers,” said Mom.
Once Dad had caught his breath, we continued on. Dad took the lead again, proving a point which no one needed proving. It was nice walking through the trees with my family, far away from the dangers that lay just beyond the borders of this reality. I was lost in thought when, as I walked, I heard a distinct “psst!”
I stopped, looked to my left and saw a girl. There was only one girl in all the multiverse with a stare as piercing as the one that greeted me beneath the branches.
“Brunhilda?” I asked in a whisper.
“Good day, Keeper of The Library.”
“What are you–” but before I could finish my sentence, I saw something that made me gasp. Sitting atop Brunhilda’s shoulder was a fairy, and not just any fairy, it was the fairy.
“You recognize your friend,” said Brunhilda. “Good.”
“You found her? But where?”
“I did not find her, she is my lieutenant.”
“Lieutenant?”
“Keeper, I have a request of you. It is one I have made before, but I hope this time you will treat my request with more gravity.”
“You want to go to The Library.”
“I do. It is vitally important that I return to my own time. I need to make sure that Eric is never called into being.”
“Is he still giving you trouble?”
“It is only a matter of time. The men who have taken him and harnessed him are fools if they think that they have full control. Whether it is in his duty to them, or once he is free, he will come for me and my kin. There is no one else that can stop him. I need to get into The Library, I need to help my grandfather against the Dreadkeep.”
“Brunhilda, I–”
“Sil here has told me that you will let her into The Library, that you have promised her that you would. I only ask that I go with her. If I cannot find a way to my grandfather from this world, then I must try and make do with what I can find in her world.”
“The fairy has a name?”
“I can hear you, you know,” said a little voice.
“You can talk!” I said, a smile drifting across my face. My thoughts turned to Jonny, and I glanced up the path. My family was some distance away now, but it was only a matter of time before they noticed my absence. I did not want them to know anything about my second life.
“You said that I could return at any time to my land,” said the fairy named Sil.
“And I am happy to honor that promise,” I said, “but I know what Brunhilda is trying to do and I don’t think it’s a good idea. There is enough putting the multiverse at risk without me actively messing with the timeline.”
“You’re a coward!” spat Brunhilda.
“You must find another way. Darcy has had run-ins with the men who took Eric. Why don’t you talk to him about it? He’s taken it upon himself to defend this world and this world’s concerns.”
“You are just afraid, Keeper of The Library. You do not think for yourself. I know about the Librarian, I know how you do exactly as she says. Why don’t you be the Keeper you’re supposed to be and do the right thing instead of depending on the instructions of others?”