"Yes. If anyone asks..."
"I'm your sister. Yes." He'd told me that the moment I'd arrived at the lodgings. I wasn't too sure why, but humans were kind of weird, I was just coming to accept that. After I freed the souls, I planned to head back to the sea anyway, so it wasn't as if I needed to understand human culture any more than I did already.
"Sorry, I know it must be frustrating to have to lie all the time..."
I shrugged. "I'm getting used to it."
"Hopefully, you won't have too much more after tonight."
"I hope not."
We lapsed into an almost awkward silence. I took a sip from my tea, something I'd found I definitely liked about life on land. The heat, the taste, even the smell, made me feel warm inside. It was a shame I couldn't take it back to the city with me.
He coughed uncomfortably. "I need to go."
"Have a good day." I flashed him another smile, trying not to put my feelings across within it.
"You too." He seemed as if he was about to lean in and do something like kiss me. But that couldn't be possible. It was just my mind seeing too much into the situation.
He left the room without saying anything else, and I let out a sigh. I hadn't realised how much the odd tension in the air was bothering me.
Finishing up my breakfast, I made a plan in my head for the library. It wouldn't do any good if I just went in there with no clue of what to look for. Of course, that was going to be the case regardless. I'd never looked into anything about souls before.
"Alright then, let's get this over with," I said to Shelbie as I pushed my chair back.
She dashed out from under the table and scampered around my feet. At least someone was excited to be able to spend some time with me.
"I know. We might not find anything," I told her. "But we have to at least try."
I took her small yipping sound as confirmation. Remembering what Aaron had taught me, I relaxed my sight and looked at her aura. She appeared happy, but that was the only thing I could see. So much for being able to tell what she was thinking. That had probably just been wishful thinking on my part.
Chapter Fifteen
"Mari?" The voice seemed harried. Almost worried even. Like I was doing something I wasn't supposed to have, and yet...
"Mari." It was a familiar voice. I knew the person behind it. Why were they disturbing me? Couldn't they see that I was sleeping? I didn't want to be awake.
Shelbie nudged at my leg, and I groaned. Now she wanted me awake? What kind of torture was this? I just wanted to rest. To close my eyes and not worry about the rest of the world for ten more minutes...
"Mari."
My eyes blinked open. This time, the voice had been too frantic for me to ignore.
"What?" I snapped.
"You fell asleep," Aaron said, a sincere look on his face.
"I'm aware." It had been too difficult to stave off the sleep when the library had been as cosy as it was. A fire burned, and the chair was beautifully padded.
"Are you okay?"
"I was until I was woken up," I replied pointedly.
"The book not interesting?" He pointed to the spread pages in front of me.
"The opposite. I was just sitting back and thinking about what I'd read," I answered honestly.
"And?"
"Nothing we can use, I don't think. But apparently, the souls are probably being used as a power source for the city."
"That doesn't sound good..."
"It's actually better than it could be." Much to my relief. "Using souls as a power source doesn't actually drain them. It says that someone needs to keep adding new souls, but every soul that's ever been added is still in the ball."
"Oh." Excitement flitted through his eyes. "But what happens to the souls of the mer who have already passed on?" he asked.
"I don't know. This is more talking about the mechanics of what the humans are doing, rather than what it means for the souls. They really don't seem to care on that front."
"That's sad."
"It's more than that," I observed. "It's barbaric. It's like they think it doesn't matter just because we're not human."
He leaned in, as if to pat my shoulder, before remembering his touch wouldn't feel like anything. "I'm sorry..."
"You don't need to be," I reminded him. "It isn't you stealing souls and using them as fuel. This is on the humans themselves." Disgust filled me. What was wrong with them that they were this careless with other creatures?
"I don't think all of them are bad."
"I'm sure they're not." Erickson's face flashed through my mind as I said the words. He was doing his best to help me find the souls, and even if it was for the selfish reason of wanting to find his own in the process, he was still doing the right thing. "They're even taking souls from other humans."
"They're what?" Aaron seemed genuinely confused, but that made sense to me.
"I know, nothing is sacred to them..."
"No, it's not that. Just that human souls aren't the same as ou...mer souls. They don't have the same magic to them."
"They don't?" My brows furrowed together and I turned back to my book, hoping that would have some answers for me.
"No. Mer souls are made of magic. Human souls are too, but it's not the same. I'm pretty sure your book will tell you..."
"That human souls can't be used as an energy source." My heart sunk as I read the words aloud. "Could there be a chance the book is lying to me?" I asked.
"Potentially. To put people off stealing others' souls, maybe? But what makes you think they're doing it to themselves too?"
I glanced away, unable to look at him as I mumbled the words. "I asked Erickson after I saw he didn't have an aura."
"He doesn't have one?"
I shook my head, still not looking at him.
"That's unusual."
"In a good or a bad way?" Nerves fluttered in my stomach. I trusted Erickson and didn't really want to hear anything negative about it. But I owed it to Aaron to at least hear him out. So far, everything the non-corporal man had told me was the truth. And he'd taught me to read auras in the first place.
"I guess that depends. It could be bad for him that he has no soul, but good for us because he's helping us. Or it could be bad for us because he's hiding his aura and we can't tell anything about him."
"Is that possible?" I didn't like the idea of someone purposefully hiding their aura. Why would they want to pretend they didn't have a soul if they did? It just didn't make any sense to me.
"Possible, but difficult."
My shoulders sagged. Difficult would mean that someone who was a similar age to me, probably wouldn't be able to do it. At least, that was what I was going to keep telling myself.
"I'm going to do some more reading." I gestured needlessly to my book.
Aaron nodded. "Do you mind if I take a look around?"
"Be my guest." It was no skin off my nose if he wanted to poke around the little library. Maybe I should have been confused by the fact this place even existed. It was completely at odds with the rest of Erickson's home. Comfortable, decadent, and with the open fire. But it was so nice in here that I just didn't want to question it. Plus, my knowledge of human living was so limited that it didn't mean anything if I didn't understand something. Perhaps all human homes were like this. Utilitarian apart from the library. I could understand that in a way. Books were the gateway to so much more than just the words on the page. They should be treasured like this, of that, I had no doubt.
Aaron wandered off among the shelves. I almost asked what he was looking for, but thought better of it. I'd effectively been the one who dismissed him, it wasn't fair for me to then bring him back into a conversation.
I fell into the words on the page, both intrigued and repulsed by what I was reading. It seemed like the humans had devised several ways to use mer souls. And were currently researching ways to use other souls they'd managed to harvest. The only thing the book didn't seem to cover was how t
hey managed to do it. Or why they hadn't found a decent power source that didn't involve stealing from the mer.
"Mari?" he called.
"Hmm?"
"I think you need to come see this." He almost sounded scared. But that couldn't be right. There was nothing but books in here, I'd checked when I first arrived.
I rose to my feet, already apprehensive about whatever it was he might have found to make him sound so unsure of himself. I walked through the shelves, none of them much taller than I was, adding to my sense of security in the matter. Nothing lurked behind the shelves. Or under the floor, or on the roof. It was silly to think he might have found anything like that. Besides, he was literally made out of thin air. Nothing could hurt him if he didn't want it to.
"Are you okay?" I asked as I reached him. He was shaking, which only made him shimmer more than usual.
"You need to see this."
I'd already gathered as much from when he'd asked me to come look, but I didn't say anything. It didn't feel appropriate given how shaken he seemed. Instead, I turned to the shelf he was pointing at.
"Oh no." His horror suddenly made sense. The shelf in front of us was filled with books about mer. More than that, it was filled with books about taking mer souls and how to use them for various things. Even through the disgust and shock, part of me was confused why the book I'd been reading hadn't been in this section too.
I pulled out the first book, hating the feel of the cracked maroon covering over it. The golden mermaid embossed in the cover didn't make things any better either. Instead, it just made me feel kind of dirty. My people were being used for...nothing. From everything I'd seen while on land, it seemed like humans were intelligent and resourceful. It was just laziness that had them doing this.
"You don't have to read..."
"I do," I told him, flipping through the pages, the sick feeling only intensifying with each page I scanned. At least the diagrams were simplistic. I wouldn't have been able to deal with it if there'd been more visual information on the way to hurt mer.
"Mari..."
"Mer aren't hurt when their soul is taken from them. In fact, it is a mercy to do so. They are not creatures who use their souls as with them, they lure sailors to their deaths," I read, my voice cracking the further I got into it. "Their souls are taken as payment for lives lost at sea."
"That's some warped logic," Aaron observed.
I made a non-committal noise, already horrified by the next part the book talked about. "The souls of mermaids more than eighteen years old are useless. They shouldn't be harvested as they don't contain the most potent amount of magic," I read. "So, it's nothing to do with a curse. It's just that merchildren are more useful to them." I snapped the book shut and shoved it back on the shelf as tears threatened in my eyes.
"I'm sorry," Aaron whispered.
"It's not your fault. Unless you're the ghost of a human."
"I'm not a human ghost," he responded quickly.
"Then it's not your fault." I blinked a couple of times, trying to force the tears back. "Do you mind leaving me alone for a bit? I need to think about this." And read some more of the book. I didn't really want to, but I knew that I should. The more I knew, the better equipped I'd be to deal with the evening ahead. While I'd seen the inside of the warehouse, I knew I wasn't adequately prepared for what would happen there. I couldn't be. No matter who we encountered, I was freeing those souls tonight.
"Of course. I'm sorry they're doing this." He touched my arm with his hand, though neither of us felt anything. In that moment, I regretted the fact he couldn't touch me.
"Thanks. We're going back to the warehouse tonight. Will you come?" My voice shook once again. I wanted him with us, though I worried he wouldn't come.
"I'll be there. Even if you can't see me."
"Thank you." I flashed him a weak smile, unable to do any more than that.
I didn't wait for him to respond. Not when there was nothing more to say. Instead, I grabbed the book and left the library, Shelbie following on my heels. I ignored the urge to look back, uncertain where it had even come from. I appreciated everything Aaron was doing to help me, but I couldn't let myself get distracted by someone I barely knew. Especially a man who wasn't even corporal. That was an easy way to end up with my heart broken.
Chapter Sixteen
Every step reverberated through me. Though at least it wasn't making me want to fall over still. There must have been something in the potion Demetra had given me to make walking quicker to learn than for humans themselves, because I finally seemed to be getting it. One foot in front of the other. No other focus than that.
My head swam with thoughts of what I'd read earlier. A part of me wanted to bring up what I'd learned with Erickson, but another part was screaming for me not to. Even if I didn't understand where the latter feeling was coming from, I knew I should listen to it. At least for the next couple of hours while we dealt with the souls in the warehouse. I needed his help there and didn't want to risk it by revealing what his people had been doing to mine.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
I nodded. Shelbie pressed herself against my leg, probably because she sensed how uneasy I was about all of this.
"I need you to wait while I go check the front door," Erickson told me.
"Again?" I blurted. Last time he'd come running back with a panicked look on his face.
"Yes. It's night now." He gestured to the sky, as if I needed confirmation from the moon that he was telling the truth. Maybe I did. "I just need to check that the same security as before has been put in place."
"Alright." I sat myself down on the step of what I presumed was someone's house. Hopefully, whoever it belonged to wouldn't come out and shoo me away.
"I'll be back in a moment." He rested a hand on my shoulder and I had to suppress the urge to shrug it off.
I didn't know where my aversion was suddenly coming from, but I needed to get it under control, or else I was going to end up going a little bit crazy.
He left me alone in the dark, off to do whatever checks he'd told me he needed to do. I rolled my eyes. But then, maybe if Aaron and I had done the checks the previous night, we would have been able to save the souls and not still be trying to work out how to do that.
"Why are things on land so complicated?" I asked Shelbie, scratching her head.
She whined and pushed further into me. I appreciated it. Her comfort was familiar. Almost a reminder of home, even if we both had noticeably different bodies.
"Do you like it here?" I asked, making sure to look at her aura for the answer. It turned a muddy brown, which seemed like a good colour for confusion. "Yes, I feel that way too." I sighed. Land was definitely something I was unsure about. With all the danger here, I wasn't in any rush to visit again. But then there was Erickson. He'd helped and supported me when he didn't have to. It might be nice to spend some more time with him.
And with Aaron. But then, he might be able to visit me while I was still in the sea and he was in the air. Could he even come under the water with me? He didn't have a real body, maybe that meant he didn't need to breathe and wouldn't risk drowning if he came to my city...
"Are you meaning to call me?" Aaron said, his wispy form leaning against the doorframe next to me.
"Call you? I didn't say anything."
"No, but you're thinking about me." A boyish grin took over his pale face.
"How could you possibly know that? I didn't..."
"It's written all over your aura."
"I thought I didn't have one." That was what he'd told me anyway. I tried the trick on him but saw nothing more than the usual deadness around him.
He sighed and perched on the step beside me. "It's not as straightforward as that. You can't see much difference in auras yet, but once you've been doing this a while, you pick up a couple of other things, even if the person is soulless."
"What's a while?"
He shrugged. "I don't really know. I've been in this
state for so long, it's hard to remember the exact length of time."
"Wait, you weren't born like this?"
He shifted uncomfortably, the movement accentuated by the way his body was made up. "No. This wasn't how I was born. None of my kind were born."
"There's more of you?" My mouth dropped open. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought to ask him more of this before. But at least it was distracting me from Erickson's absence. It felt like he'd been checking out the front door for a long time. Part of me wanted to go find him, but I knew that wasn't the best choice.
"Yes. There are more people like me," he admitted.
"Do they talk to other people? Like you are to me?"
He shook his head. "Most of them live above the sea and won't leave it." Undefined emotions swam in his voice, but I didn't prod. Something deep within me knew I needed to be careful so he didn't end up more hurt.
"Why did you leave the sea?" I asked, steering away from the subject of the other people like him. It was clearly a sore subject.
"To help you. What you're trying to do could help so many people..."
"It's purely selfish," I joked. "I want my own soul back..."
"We both know that isn't true."
Our eyes met, conveying all the words that were left unspoken between us. The urge to touch him returned, but I knew that wasn't possible. It was just my mind projecting on to him. I couldn't let it control my actions in any way. That wasn't fair to either of us.
"Did your book say anything about what would happen to the souls of the mer whose bodies already died?" he asked suddenly.
"I'm sorry, it didn't." I grimaced. It had been bothering me too. There were far more souls in the ball than there were mer in my city, which meant that some of them had already passed on. Would their souls just cease to exist? Or would they get some peace? I hoped for the latter but feared the former was more likely. "I hope it just lets them rest. They deserve peace after what they've been through."
"Even if they cease to exist, I'm sure all of them are grateful for you even trying. Please remember that."
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