by Lesley Jones
Sean was biting down on his bottom lip as he looked across at me. “Is it safe for you to fly?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I can call the doctors tomorrow and find out, but I’m pretty sure it’ll be fine. It’s not like it’s a long flight.”
“Don’t forget that you two have a photo shoot Monday.” Len looked from me to Sean as he spoke. “I don’t think it would be a good idea to cancel. Go and do the shoot, show a united front, and then disappear for a couple of weeks. I can deal with whatever else you have booked.”
“Portugal it is then.” Sean smiled across to where I was sitting in the sunshine. It was a beautiful day, my family was all there, I was pregnant with a healthy baby, and I loved my husband beyond measure. All of our dreams, everything that Sean and I hoped would happen in our lives had been far exceeded. Carnage had become more successful than any of us could ever have thought possible. The four boys in a band, practising in the summerhouse in our old back garden, were now known across the world and had hits right across the planet. We were all basically living the dream, and I was not going to let Whorely and her shit once again ruin my life.
Rather than run the gauntlet of the press at our gates, my family all stayed over Saturday night, and I loved every second of having our home filled with the sounds of my family and friends laughing and talking, and the kids shouting and screaming. They all put the pool to good use, and even the sounds of the splashes as they jumped in and out made me smile. By Saturday evening, everyone was in the pool except my two youngest nieces, who were passed out and sleeping soundly in their baby buggies right where we could see them. My mum was in the kitchen with Sam, Bailey’s partner, cooking God knows what to feed us all. We would normally call out for a takeaway of some kind, but it was just too much hassle with the twenty or so photographers parked at our gates.
I climbed out of the pool and watched Sean with Ziggy on his shoulders. He was throwing a Frisbee to his brother Jimmy, who was on Lennon’s shoulders, and his cousin Joe, who was on Marley’s shoulders. Connie, Annie, and Paige were using my dad and Bailey as a springboard and diving into the water. As I watched, I couldn’t help but notice the resemblance between Paige and myself. My family was always telling me it was there, but until that moment, I’d never really seen it. She was tall for her age and skinny. She had Len’s dark skin and hair, but with the most amazing blue eyes. When I was younger, I always thought my eyes looked odd against my olive skin and chestnut hair, but on Paige, they looked stunning. My hand instinctively went to my belly as I wondered whether I was carrying a girl or a boy inside me. After what happened with my last pregnancy, I just wanted a healthy baby, and I was pretty sure Sean felt the same way. I looked up, hearing Paige shriek as my dad threw her into the air and Bailey caught her. He and Sam had a little boy named Freddie, who was just a couple of months old and in his baby capsule in the kitchen with my mum and Sam.
As I watched the kids all play, it struck me that Sean and I weren’t much older than my nieces and nephews were then when we met.
Were we really so young?
We were just children, eleven and thirteen, and yet, I knew… We both knew. When our eyes met that very first time we both felt something neither of us had any understanding of.
How many people on this planet ever found that?
How many ever had that connection with another person, ever?
Let alone go on to marry, have a family together, and live the life that we had? Okay, things had been rough at times, a four-year separation, my stupid, stupid mistake with Cam, and the loss of our baby were tough times, but overall, we had been so lucky. We survived everything that had been thrown at us and still loved each other in a way most people would never comprehend. Even our families still laughed at the way we were with each other, and how intense our feelings had remained over the years. As if to prove a point, I looked up and towards Sean, because I just knew his eyes were on me.
He had a bemused look on his face as he strode through the water. Ziggy was still on his back, and I couldn’t help but grin at him. “What you thinking about, G? You okay?”
Before I could answer, Ziggy shouted down at me. “I wanna get down, Auntie Porge, I’m hungry.”
Sean swung him off his shoulders, and I grabbed a towel from behind me to wrap him in as Sean passed him to me. We walked over to a sun lounger and both tickled and dried Ziggy at the same time as he screamed and kicked with laughter.
“No, no, Maca.” He could barely speak. He was so puffed out from the fight he was putting up. “Make him stop, Auntie G, make him stop!” He wrapped his skinny little arms around my neck and clung to me, pressing his cheek against mine.
Sean stopped and stared at us both. “You’re going to be such a great mum, Georgia.”
Our eyes both filled with tears.
“Have you got a baby in your belly, Auntie G? Must be really little, coz your belly’s not big like Sam’s was when Freddie was in there.” We both laughed as we explained that our baby was only tiny and had a lot of growing to do before Ziggy could see him just after Christmas. It suddenly struck me that Sean and I have both called our baby him. Ziggy escaped us and went in search of food, and as we watched him run away, we both called out for him to walk and not run.
Sean turned to me, “d’ya think it’s a boy?” he asked.
I nodded because I did. Don’t ask me why, but somehow in those last few minutes, I’d become one hundred percent sure that we were having a son.
“Me too,” Sean almost whispered. “And I cannot fuckin’ wait to meet him.”
We both smiled and with his hand on my belly we were oblivious to all of the noise going on around us. We leant into each other and kissed, very gently. Our lips barely brushed.
“I love you so much, Georgia Rae. Our son is so lucky to have you for a mum, and I’m so lucky to have you as my wife.”
Before I could reply, my mum and Ziggy shouted for us all to come and get some food, so I gave him a smile and let Sean lead me to the patio, where the banquet that had been prepared from the contents of my fridge and freezer was set up. We ate, drank, and celebrated our pregnancy in noisy Layton style. The kids were put to bed, and the adults stayed up till the early hours of Sunday, talking, laughing, reminiscing, and sharing stories of our lives as we were growing up. I went to bed happy and content, appreciating my large and loving family, but not realising that it was the very last time that we would all be together, and that our dynamics would be changed, shattered irreparably before the year was out.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Our photo shoot was done on the Monday morning, and by Monday evening, we’d been taken by helicopter from our home to a private jet waiting for us at City Airport in London. From there it was on to Faro Airport in Portugal. We were picked up by a town car, and driven to my parents’ villa in Albufeira. We spent an entire week doing very little except sleep, swim, eat, and have lots and lots of sex, which still wasn’t enough to sate my pregnant, hormonally charged libido. Sean was overjoyed with the fact that I couldn’t get enough of him. He may be one of the biggest stars on the planet, but we had known each other for almost twenty years and had about fifteen years of sexual experiences together, so even for us, things sometimes get a little normal and every day. Just because we were rich and famous, it didn’t mean that our sex life was always super exciting every time we fucked. We were no different to any other couple that had been together for a lot of years. Yet, right now, despite the years together, things were hotter than ever, and being alone at my parents’ place and away from the worries of what the papers and magazines might be saying about us, things were definitely on fire.
Just over a week after we arrived, we were up early and taking a walk along the beach at seven in the morning. It was June and the sun was getting stronger every day that we were there. We’d been waking early, making beautiful wake-up love, taking a quick shower, and having a walk on the beach before heading back for breakfast and more lovemaking.
“What?” he asked.
“Will ya be my boyfriend, Maca?” He smiled my favourite cheeky smile. The one I had known for so long. My smile.
“Hmm, that depends, Georgia Rae.”
“On what?” I stopped walking and folded my arms across my chest. I was wearing a T-shirt with the Carnage logo on it, which was a heart-shaped red iris with a black pupil, crying blood-red tears. Sean, Lennon, and Marley had come up with the design one wet and rainy afternoon in our summerhouse, and it was almost as well-known an image across the world as the golden-arched M, of MacDonald’s. I’d worn this T-shirt because it was Sean’s, and it was loose on me. My boobs were getting bigger every day, and the last few days, I’d needed to leave the top button on my denim shorts undone since they were also getting too tight.
I looked at Sean with raised eyebrows, waiting for an answer to my question. I started to tap my foot.
“I’ll be your boyfriend, G, but only if you show me your tits.”
I laughed at him, looked up and down the deserted beach to make sure no one was watching, and lifted my T-shirt. I wasn’t wearing a bra, so he got to see them in all their naked glory. I just loved the look on his face as he took them in.
“Fuck, Georgia, they’re getting bigger every day, our boy’s gonna be one well-fed baby.”
He pulled me towards him, tilted his head down, and sucked on my right nipple. He dropped down to his knees and kissed my belly as he held onto my hips. “Now listen here, little man. Your mother has a great pair of tits, and I know all you’ll see when you look at them is food, but you will still need to share. I’ll make sure that they’re all yours at meal times, but the rest of the time, those girls are mine. You got me?” He nodded his head, as if he actually heard a reply. “Good.”
I pushed his long dark hair from his face and looked down into his brown eyes with their little flecks of gold. “What are you doing?’
“I’m just having a little father-son convo with my boy.”
“Well, can you please not discuss my boobs with him? Talk to him about music, football, or someone else’s boobs, but not mine.”
His grin got bigger. “Well, son, it’s like this, your Auntie Sam has a massive rack, and she used to get them out for a living, but Uncle Bails put a stop to all that.”
“Sean!” I shrieked. “You cannot tell our child things like that, and why are you looking at Sam’s rack anyway?”
He laughed as he stood up, catching me around my waist and lifting my feet off the sand. I wrapped my legs around his hips. “I’m just joking, Sam’s tits are fake. They don’t even count, whereas yours, they’re real and perfect.”
We looked into each other’s eyes for a few long moments, and despite our lovemaking just an hour or so ago, I could feel my insides coil and tighten with desire for him.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you more, now let’s get back and get naked, baby. I’ve got a massive hard-on again.”
I slid down his body until my feet touched the sand. We walked back along the beach to the villa, stopping at a little bakery along the way to buy fresh bread.
Later that afternoon as I lay in the shade reading a book, Sean’s mobile rang, he was lying on a lounger next to me, but he was in the full glare of the sun, which had finally broken through the clouds a few hours before.
We had only been taking calls from our family since we’d been there, and Sean mouthed, “Len,” to me as he answered with, “All right, what’s up?” The smile almost instantly vanished from his face. “What?” He stood and took my hand, pulling me up and with him as he walked inside. “For fuck’s sake, yeah, that was this morning.” His gaze moved all over me. I was wearing bikini bottoms and nothing else. “Can we threaten them with anything?” He raked his hand through his hair as I watched, assuming this was another press related issue. “Yeah, yeah, I understand.” He walked over to the patio doors and pulled them shut and closed the blinds. “Well, if they know we’re here, we might as well come home.” He looked back at me again. “No, we can be ready in a couple of hours. See what you can do and let me know.” I didn’t wait to hear the rest. I headed to our bedroom and started packing. We didn’t bring much because we already had a supply of clothes and our favourite toiletries here from previous visits. As I threw stuff into my Louis Vuitton luggage, I could feel Sean’s eyes on me. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed my neck just below my ear, sending goose pimples down my body.
“Will you always do that when I kiss you there d’ya think?”
I turned my head and smiled at him. “As long as my heart is beating, I’ll react to you.”
He ground his hips into my arse. “You’ve made me hard,” he said into my ear, and my nipples felt like they were going to explode.
“And you’ve made me wet, but stop avoiding the issue. What’s wrong? Why are we going?”
He sighed and pulled me down into his lap as he sat on the bed. “Someone took photos of us on the beach this morning”
“What? How? That beach was deserted?”
“I don’t know. Those lenses they use can zoom in from a fair distance away, they could’ve been anywhere.”
Well, if one photographer had taken shots of us then that meant that there would be plenty more turning up trying to get the same thing. I was glad we were going home.
“Oh well, it’s been a nice unexpected break, and at least they didn’t get any pictures of us fighting this time.” I smiled and kissed his nose as I spoke.
“No, they got pictures of me sucking your tits and kissing your belly instead.”
“Oh fuck!”
“Yeah, oh fuck! Len said you can’t see your tits in the pictures, but that’s not the point. Now the pregnancy stories are doing the rounds because of me kissing your belly.”
I smiled at him. “At least now they know you love me and not Marley.” He laughed and raised his eyebrows.
“Yeah, I s’pose.” He was quiet for a few seconds as he traced random patterns over my bare back.
“I’m sorry, G. It’s fucking ridiculous. Why can’t they fuck off and pick on someone else? Why can’t the Beckhams be a bit more interesting so they leave us alone?”
“Don’t say that, I wouldn’t wish this shit on anyone.”
“I’m getting worried now, how will they be when the baby comes. I feel like going back to Australia and leaving all of this bollocks behind. I’m over it, G. I’m really fucking over it.”
“Sean, it’ll be someone else’s turn in a couple of weeks. I know they're a pain in the arse right now, but you can’t let them make you walk away from everything. You can’t give up your music or the band. You would hate it, and eventually, you would hate our baby and me for being the cause.”
“Don’t talk shit! I’d do anything for you and the baby. I want you safe, G. I want you and the baby safe, and I’ll do anything, including give up the band if that’s what it’s gonna take.”
We stared into each other’s eyes for a few silent moments, contemplating the future intrusion of the press on our lives.
“We’ll take on extra security and see how we go. Let’s not make any decisions until after the baby’s here. I love you. Stop worrying.” I tried to reassure him.
The photographs of us on the beach actually did us a massive favour. They were really quite beautiful and showed nothing but a couple in love and enjoying each other. They put paid to the ridiculous rumours about Sean’s sexuality. They showed Whorely up as a complete liar and convinced the press of what a complete bullshit artist she was. We could only hope that now they would actually leave us alone and move on, looking for their next victim.
The Monday after we arrived home, we were back at Richard Curtis’s office for my twelve-week u
ltrasound, and we were told that as long as the baby was lying in the right position, we might be able to find out the sex.
Sean had a tight clammy grip of my hand as the room filled with the now familiar whoosh of our baby’s heartbeat. All of my other checks were good, my blood pressure was perfect, nothing unusual was detected in my urine sample, and my bloods had all come back fine. Despite this, we were both beyond nervous as we looked from each other to the screen. It was amazing, the difference a few weeks made. We could now clearly see the baby’s spine, arms, and legs. The doctor called out information to the nurse, and she typed everything into the computer. I stared. Amazed that all of this was going on inside of my belly, and as of yet, I hadn’t felt a thing.
“Look at his arms move about, G. D’ya reckon he’s gonna be a drummer?”
I smiled at Sean. “Shit, I hope not. Listening to you practise guitar in the early days was hard enough, let alone listening to an aspiring drummer.”
“Cheers, babe, and there was me thinking that one of the reasons you loved me back then was because of my amazing guitar skills.”
“No, I loved you because I couldn’t not. I loved you because it was what I was put on this earth to do.” I looked away from the screen and back to Sean. His eyes were full to the brim with tears, and he brought my hand to his lips and kissed my palm gently. I realised the room was silent. Richard Curtis and his nurse, Moira, were both staring at us.
“Well,” Doctor Curtis said, breaking the silence. “Your baby has decided to cooperate. We don’t usually tell parents the sex until the sixteen-week scan because we can’t really be sure until then, but looking at these images, I’m pretty confident that you have a son on the way. Congratulations.”
I burst into tears.
“A son, G. We’re having a boy.” I nodded and smiled through my tears. “Thank you, thank you so much,” Sean said through his own tears.
The doctor and nurse left us alone for five minutes while we pulled ourselves together, eventually returning to tell us that everything was perfect. We made an appointment to return in four weeks and headed home to share the news with our family. Sean actually didn’t wait until we got home. He was on the phone to Marley as soon as we were out of the building and then Lennon. Then, he insisted we stopped at my parents’ house, where he and my dad shared almost the entire contents of an eighteen-year-old bottle of Laphroaig whiskey. I ended up driving us home and putting a very drunk, but ecstatically happy, Sean to bed.