by Teri Wilson
He leaned over and, with the softest brush of his lips imaginable, he kissed her growing belly. And with an ache in his voice that she’d never heard before, he whispered a word. Just one. The most profoundly beautiful one he could have said.
Mine.
If only she could have made herself believe he’d been talking about her. Or them—her and the baby both. But he hadn’t. He’d meant the child, their child, and while it was sweet, it just wasn’t enough. And it never would be, because sometimes pretending was better than nothing, but when it wasn’t, it was the most devastating heartbreak of all.
I can’t stay here anymore.
The thought started as a spark, and in the hours before the sun came up, it exploded into a wildfire, burning out of control and destroying everything in its path—every last hope for a future, charred beyond recognition. She’d repeated it to herself so many times in the night that it became a balm, a way to calm the panic that threatened to eat her alive at the thought of saying goodbye. By the time Finn opened his eyes, she was already dressed, packed and ready to go. All she had to do was tell him.
“I can’t stay here anymore.”
* * *
Finn was dreaming.
No, it wasn’t a dream. It was a nightmare—the worst nightmare his unconscious possibly could have conjured.
He closed his eyes and willed the image of Avery, fully clothed with one of her slick designer suitcases in her hand, out of his head. His mind was playing tricks on him. That had to be it. Last night had changed everything. He and Avery had finally stopped pretending and been honest with each other about their feelings. They’d made love.
And that’s exactly what it had been, too. Not just sex. Things between him and Avery had never been just physical. He knew that now. On some level, he always had.
But no matter how hard he tried to keep his eyes closed and go back to the world from just hours before—the world where he and his wife were tangled in bedsheets—he couldn’t. The space beside him was cold. Empty...
As empty as his heart felt when he opened his eyes and realized the sight in front of him wasn’t a dream, after all. It was real.
“Excuse me?” he said, staring hard at Avery’s suitcase.
When the hell had she packed it? Had she climbed out of his bed the moment he’d fallen asleep?
“I can’t stay here,” she repeated, a gut-wrenching echo.
He sat up, and the sheet fell away, exposing him. Avery took a sharp inhale and averted her gaze.
Seriously?
“Look at me, damn it,” he growled. “What are talking about? You can’t leave, Princess. You just...”
...can’t.
What would he say to his family when they woke up and found out she’d left? What would he do? They were a family. She couldn’t just leave.
But apparently she could, because she was already walking toward the door.
Out of his bed.
Out of his life.
“No.” Finn jumped up and went after her. “Whatever’s wrong, we can fix it. Let me fix it, Princess. Please.”
He’d never allowed himself to be more vulnerable in his life. He was naked and begging, but he didn’t care.
“We can take things slow, if that’s what you want,” he blurted as her hand gripped the doorknob.
She paused, just long enough to shake her head.
“Finn, we...”
“What happened last night doesn’t have to happen again. We can wait. We can do whatever you want. Just don’t leave.”
“Can’t you see?” She shook her head again. “I have to. I just need some space. Please.”
Space.
He could give her that, couldn’t he? Maybe a night or two at the boarding house would do them both some good.
No. Finn glared at her. He wanted her here, with him. He needed his wife and his baby. He needed them as surely as he needed his next breath.
“You’re my wife. We had a deal, remember?” he said. Married...till death do them part.
God, what was wrong with him? He sounded as controlling and manipulative as his father.
“You’re right.” Avery looked past him, toward the bed. “And last night we broke that deal. So now all bets are off.”
“Avery.” He raked a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the ends. “I’m...”
He couldn’t bring himself to say he was sorry. Because he wasn’t. Not entirely. What had happened between them last night had been honest and real. Even more authentic than the band of gold around Avery’s finger. She knew it as well as he did. Why else would she be running scared?
But even as he prepared to stand his ground stubbornly, he realized that somewhere deep down, he was. He was sorry for anything that made Avery hurt or made her afraid. Because all he wanted was to make her feel loved. And safe in his arms.
He took a deep breath and forced the words out. “I’m sorry.”
It didn’t matter. Nothing he said mattered, because she’d already made up her mind.
“Me, too,” she said quietly.
And then she walked right out the door, taking Finn’s baby and every battered beat of his heart with her as she left.
* * *
Avery’s nonstop flight to Dallas felt like the longest two and a half hours of her life.
She did everything she could to make the time pass as quickly as possible, from her stack of glossy fashion magazines to the vast array of snacks she’d picked up at the airport gift shop. But living at the boarding house for so long had changed Avery’s eating habits. She much preferred Melba’s and Claire’s home cooking to the quick grab-and-go fare and Lean Cuisines she’d lived on while she’d been so busy helping run Ellington Meats. And as it turned out, she’d even lost all enthusiasm for her beloved Vogue, Elle and Harper’s Bazaar now that she could no longer wear any of the sleek, fitted clothes featured on their pages.
Or maybe she’d simply developed a sudden fondness for flannel and cowboy boots.
Good grief, what was happening to her? Tastes changed, she supposed. The delicate rose gold ring on her finger was perhaps the most glaringly obvious testament to that fact, from the ring itself to the marriage it represented. Her father would probably have a heart attack the minute he saw it.
She thought about removing the ring before the plane landed, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do so. She’d told Finn she was leaving, but she hadn’t said a word about ending their marriage. That was a given, though, wasn’t it? Part of the condition of coming home had always been cutting Finn out of her life. As welcoming as her parents had been on the phone when she’d broken down and called them from the airport in Montana, she had no reason to believe that had changed.
Taking the ring off seemed so final, though. The ultimate ending to a book she wasn’t sure she was capable of closing. She just knew she needed time away from Rust Creek Falls to clear her head and figure out what was truly best for her and her baby. But if sleeping with Finn had confirmed anything, it was that she wasn’t built for a marriage of convenience. She’d been fooling herself thinking she could marry a man and not become emotionally attached, especially a man she was already head over heels in love with.
When her flight finally landed in Dallas, she deplaned with nothing but a lump in her throat and her lone carry-on bag. It seemed impossible that she would come home with so little physical evidence of a life-changing month away. Her time in Montana almost felt like a fever dream, too colorful and lush to be real. But that was the whole point, wasn’t it? None of it had been real. And now here she was, back on Texas soil with her smallest Louis Vuitton rolling bag and more emotional baggage than she could possibly carry all on her own.
When she saw her mother and father waiting for her just outside the security gate, she braced herself for a flood of emotions. But when her mother gathered her
into her arms, Avery didn’t even cry. Not a single, solitary tear. She’d come crawling home with her tail between her legs, but at the very least she’d expected to feel a small sense of relief.
After all, she was back in the fold. Her heart was safe now.
Then why did she feel nothing but a horrible numbness and the nagging sense that she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life?
* * *
It was a short ride from the airport to the Ellington family home in the moneyed neighborhood of Highland Park, and Avery’s parents spent it getting her caught up on everything she’d missed while she’d been away.
Her mother told her about the latest happenings at the country club in lurid detail and suggested now that Avery was back, she might want to help cochair the upcoming Junior League charity fund-raiser. The lawn of the big gothic church on University Drive was a sea of orange now that the annual pumpkin patch was in full swing, and the mayor was throwing his annual Masquerade Ball. Avery had come just in time.
But the Masquerade Ball wouldn’t be anything like the sweet Halloween dance she’d attended with the Crawfords. There wouldn’t be any costumed children or fake spiderwebs or bobbing for apples. It would be a staid affair, perfectly planned, perfectly decorated and perfectly boring. She missed the small-town charm of Rust Creek Falls already.
Meanwhile, her father filled her in on what she’d missed at the office. He’d promoted one of the project managers in her absence, but her corner office was still ready and waiting for her. She could walk back into her old life just like nothing had ever happened. It would be as if she’d never gone to Rust Creek Falls at all.
Except she had.
She stared blankly ahead as the big iron gate at the foot of the driveway swung open and her father’s Cadillac Escalade cruised past the security cameras. Neither of her parents had mentioned her pregnancy. Were they just going to pretend that she wasn’t having Finn Crawford’s baby in a few months’ time? Was that how this strange homecoming was going to play out?
Her hand went instinctively to her baby bump, and a tiny nudge pressed against her palm, just as it had when she’d exchanged vows with Finn in the country courthouse in Great Gulch. Finally, something real she could grasp hold of. Her child. Avery was going to be a mother, and no amount of pretending could prove otherwise.
“I’m married,” she said quietly as her father shifted the car into Park.
“Oh, dear.” Her mother sighed. Finally she had something more pressing to worry about than the centerpieces for the next country club luncheon.
Her father’s gaze locked with hers in the reflection of the rearview mirror. “I saw the ring and figured as much.”
She bit her lip and nodded. Good. Perhaps their bizarre sense of denial wasn’t as serious as she’d begun to think.
“That’s what annulments are for. Our attorney can get this taken care of in a matter of days.” Her dad shrugged one shoulder and then got out of the car and shut the door as if the matter had been settled once and for all.
All of Avery’s breath bottled up in her throat. An annulment. Could she do that Finn? Did she even want to?
“Honey,” her mom said, turning to rest a hand on Avery’s knee. “Give your daddy time. We can talk about all of this later. The most important thing is that you’re home now.”
Avery nodded as she blinked back tears. Only they weren’t the tears of relief she’d expected. They were something else, something too horrible and painful to name.
She climbed out of the car and went straight to her childhood bedroom at the top of the home’s curved staircase. She passed the grand piano where she’d taken lessons as a little girl and the framed collection of photographs that lined the hallway—Avery as homecoming queen of her private high school, Avery dressed in a white satin gown and elegant elbow-length gloves at her debutante ball, her father spinning her across the dance floor at the father-daughter dance.
It didn’t matter how old she was, how well she did at the office or even if she was pregnant, her father would always see her just like those framed images—as his daughter. Just a little girl, barely more than an extension of himself.
How had she never noticed this before? Sure, she’d always been a daddy’s girl, following in her father’s footsteps and working alongside him at the family business. Daddy’s princess. But she’d always thought it had been her choice. Her path.
Had it? Had she ever been the one in charge of her own life?
It was all so confusing, and two hours later, once she’d showered, changed and gone back downstairs for dinner, she wasn’t any closer to knowing the answer to the many questions spinning around in her head. She was only certain of one thing—the decision whether or not to end her marriage was hers and hers alone.
“Are you feeling better now, dear?” Avery’s mom cast a surprised glance at the buffalo-checkered shirt she’d slipped into—one of her purchases from the general store—but refrained from asking why she hadn’t dressed for dinner. Mealtime in the Ellington household had always been a rather formal affair.
“A little. I’m really tired.” Avery took her seat, the same place she’d sat for every family meal of her life.
As usual, her father was already seated at the head of the table. “You’ll feel back to your old self once you get some rest. Leave all the legal details to me. I’ll meet with the lawyers first thing tomorrow and get the ball rolling.”
Avery picked up her fork but set it back down. “Daddy, no. I’m not ready.”
Oscar glanced at his wife, cleared his throat and then spread his napkin carefully in his lap. “Very well. We can discuss the legalities later.”
“Absolutely.” Her mother beamed. “Avery, I was thinking we could start decorating the bedroom next door to yours for the baby. Won’t that be fun?”
Avery blinked. “What about my place?”
She hadn’t protested when they’d taken her straight to the big Ellington mansion from the airport, but surely they didn’t expect her to live here from now on. She was an adult, with her own townhome near the Galleria.
“We can get a crib for there, too, if you like. But you’re going to need help when the baby comes. We just assumed you’d want to stay here for a while.” Her mother passed her a bowl of green beans.
Avery scooped some onto her plate and passed it to her father.
“We’re just so glad you’ve finally come to your senses,” he said. “Your child will have everything her little heart desires. She’ll want for nothing.”
Finally, they were talking about the baby. They were saying all the right things, making plans and acting like doting grandparents. Avery’s childhood had been a happy one, and if her daughter grew up with the same upbringing, she’d no doubt be a happy, charmed little girl.
She’ll want for nothing.
The words echoed in Avery’s mind on repeat.
Right, she thought. But what about what I want?
Chapter Fourteen
Finn parked his rental car at the curb in front of the Georgian-style columned mansion on one of Highland Park’s most prestigious streets. The driveway was blocked by a black steel gate with scrolled trim and a crest featuring a single cursive letter. E for Ellington.
Was he really going to just walk up to the front door and ring the bell of Oscar Ellington’s home when he knew good and well he wasn’t welcome here? Hell yes, he was.
Avery had left him. And she hadn’t simply moved back down the road to Strickland’s Boarding House. She’d gone all the way back to Texas, and she hadn’t even bothered to give him the news herself. Melba and Old Gene had broken it to him when he’d shown up, desperate to talk to Avery. Melba had even gotten a little teary-eyed. She sat Finn down and tried to feed him some fresh caramel snickerdoodle cookies she’d just made for her boarders, but he couldn’t eat. If Avery had gone back to Dallas, it
meant only one thing—she’d agreed to her father’s ridiculous terms.
Finn hadn’t just lost his wife.
He’d lost his daughter, too.
He climbed out of the car and slammed the door. If Avery thought he was going to let her go straight from his bed back to her father without trying to talk some sense into her, she was dead wrong. He had a good idea what this was all about, anyway. They’d broken her sacred no-sex rule. Their fake marriage had suddenly become far too real, and she was running scared.
It would be okay, though. They would be okay. They had to be, because if Finn had learned anything in the days since he’d exchanged vows with Avery, it was that he couldn’t live without her. Their fake marriage had always been real to him.
He simply needed to talk to her and assure her they could take things as slowly as she needed to. He’d do whatever she wanted, save for one thing—he’d never, ever let her family keep him from seeing his child.
Every damn flight from Montana to Dallas had been booked solid. Avery must have gotten the lone remaining seat on one of the last flights out. Thank God he’d remembered Maximilian’s offer to send them off on a private jet for their honeymoon. When Finn told his father why he needed it, he hadn’t even hesitated. The plane had been all fueled up, ready and waiting when Finn got to the airport in Billings.
His first stop upon landing had been Avery’s town house, but her doorman assured Finn she’d been gone for weeks. There was only one place else she could be—the stately redbrick home in front of him. He gritted his teeth, pressed the doorbell and hoped against hope Avery would come to the door.
No such luck. No one came to the door. Instead, an older man’s voice boomed through a small speaker situated next to the bell. “Sorry, son. This isn’t a good time.”
Finn’s blood boiled at the sound of Oscar Ellington’s condescending tone. He glanced around, trying to figure out how he’d already been identified. Sure enough, there were security cameras stationed in four different corners of the mansion’s veranda.