by Sienna Aylen
Emma chuckled. “Just about everywhere except the Artic and Antarctica. They’re too cold for me, I like more temperate climates. I don’t have a particular favorite, but I like going to secluded places, ones that haven’t been completely populated and overrun with technology.”
He nodded knowingly. “Places with more nature than objects.” Placing one hand on hers, he stroked his fingers over the supple leather of her gloves. “How long have you been wearing these?”
A frown line creased between Emma’s eyes. “I’ve been wearing them full-time since…the seventeen hundreds, give or take a few decades.”
“What’s it like when you read an object?” Damien watched as she twisted her fingers together before finally letting them drop into her lap.
A long sigh fell from her lips. “Uncomfortable. The memories take over until they’re center stage. They block out everything else until I don’t even know where I am anymore. I don’t have control during it. It’s irritating in the sense that I don’t really enjoy intruding on other people’s pasts. I do it because in the end I’m saving lives, but it isn’t something that I would have necessarily chosen for myself. It was more or less chosen for me.”
One finger tilted her head back so he could see her face. “What would you have chosen?”
Emma rolled her eyes. “To be normal, I guess. Have a family and an actual home that I didn’t have to leave at the drop of a hat. When I was younger, before all this,” she gestured to her gloved hands, “I thought about opening an antique shop. I know how ridiculous it all sounds…”
Damien stopped her with a shake of his head. “It doesn’t. Actually, it sounds nice. Everyone settles down eventually. Some just take a little longer than others. I think everyone wants a home, someplace they can be themselves. Someplace with family and friends. Have you ever thought about having kids?”
Disentangling herself from him, she stood up. Emma plucked one of the flowers off the tree, twirling it between her fingers. Her gaze stayed on the flower as she whispered, “I… Well, I can’t have kids.”
Damien’s tone was mild when he asked, “Why can’t you have kids?”
Tortured eyes met his own, shame creeping into the depths of her gaze. “I was sterilized. It’s physically impossible for me to conceive.”
Hoisting himself up, Damien stepped in front of Emma and wrapped his arms around her waist. When she kept her eyes lowered, Damien gentled his voice. “Emma, look at me. Was it your choice?”
Green eyes were dull when they met his own. “No, it wasn’t.”
Understanding was slow in coming but when it did, Damien snarled. “It was that guy who threw you out, wasn’t it, Morighan? Those bastards sterilized you because they feared you would pass your gift on to any children you might have.” At her reluctant nod, he continued, “He had no right to do that to you, Emma. No one should have that choice taken from them.”
She hugged him tighter, her voice a mere whisper against his shirt. “I know. It wasn’t my choice, but somehow, I feel incomplete. Even through my crazy childhood I always thought when I had kids I would treat them differently. That I would love them with everything in me. My kids would never feel neglected or alone.”
“I have to ask, Emma. I know you won’t want to answer but you need to share it with someone. How did they manage to sterilize you all those years ago?” He had to know. It would eat at him if she didn’t answer. It would help her to talk about it too as it obviously still upset her. Two thousand years could heal all manner of things, but a trauma that horrific could take an eternity to heal. His mate had been forged in the flames. Her survival of such a childhood was a testament to her willpower. Her strength. Leaning down, Damien pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
Her voice was low and toneless when she finally answered him. “With a knife. Six stab wounds to my pelvis. The injuries were so severe they never healed right. It’s a bunch of scar tissue overlapped inside. The women in the Sixth Council couldn’t undo the damage, even with all their combined gifts.”
* * * *
His Emma was quiet when they finally made their way back to the main house. As soon as they mounted the steps, Damien yanked her into a fierce kiss. Showing her without words what he felt. Claiming her lips just as thoroughly as he wanted to claim her heart. Glazed eyes met his own, both of their breath coming in gasps. Damien cradled her face between his hands. “This doesn’t change anything between us, Emma.”
An hour later, the bright afternoon sun caressed his hands as the knife Damien held worked on the carving, whittling away pieces of wood until the figure revealed itself. After it was finished, he would add a velvet cord so Emma could wear it around her neck. A mating gift. His mating gift.
Her revelation at lunch had startled him, made him want to kill the bastard who had hurt her in such a way, taking away her choice like that. After her confession, things had been awkward between them. He’d made his declaration but Emma had seemed embarrassed. Without responding, she’d retreated into the house. He wasn’t deterred. If anything, he was only more resolved to break down her walls, to thaw the ice encasing her heart.
One final cut and he set down the knife. Holding the carving up in the light, he examined it from every angle. Yes, it was perfect for Emma.
* * * *
As the days passed, Emma waited. They all waited. Not one thing went amiss. Everything was normal. Peaceful.
One would almost think the perpetrator had moved on or given up. The overall mood in the Clan was one of relief. Emma knew it was just the calm before the storm. The manipulative lull that made everyone feel safe, safe enough they would start to drop their guard. Then the strike would come. Severe and abrupt, it would be the most destructive one yet. It was bound to happen. It was just a matter of when and where.
So they waited.
Watched.
Emma refrained from using her gift, and could feel the rough edges of the lesions start to close marginally. It was comforting knowing they would at least be somewhat healed before she had to use her gift again.
Most mornings were spent working on one of the new cabins with Damien and the Clan. April was halfway over and the temperatures were rising. The days were getting longer and Emma soaked up every ray of sun she could get. She would never tan, only freckle, but she loved working outdoors with the teenagers.
Damien would steal her away each day around noon and show her a different part of their territory. He always packed a picnic lunch and they would find a large shady tree to sit under while they ate. With each lunch he included a surprise dessert for her to try out.
The first picnic he brought cinnamon buns with vanilla icing, the day after that some caramel and chocolate concoction that was to die for. Then came chocolate-covered strawberries—and each time he fed the dessert to her by hand. Always with the excuse he didn’t want her to have sticky gloves. Her bear was courting her, seducing her and enchanting her all at the same time.
They had fallen into a steady routine, with them parting in the afternoons, both working and completing their own duties. She would meet with her sisters and discuss their options for completing the job.
The evenings were spent either with Damien’s family or curled up in front of the fire. Just last night, the two of them had taken the couch cushions and made a nest of pillows and blankets on the floor. He’d even shifted at her request and let her explore his bear form with her bare hands.
Hours had been spent in front of the fire, Emma soaking up every moment of the tactile sensation. The day had quickly turned into night and they’d separated to their own rooms. During the days, Emma was at peace. She was happy when the sun was out.
The nights were the only blight on her happiness. She hadn’t slept with him since that first night in front of the fire. He hadn’t invited her to sleep with him. He didn’t know that his touch could help her or that she couldn’t sleep. Which was her fault. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him. She admitted to herself she was embarrass
ed to ask for his help, for his touch. If anything, he was being a complete gentleman, respecting that she hadn’t been ready to cross that line in their physical relationship yet.
Even though she’d had multiple opportunities during the week, she hadn’t told him that he was her Fated. Couldn’t bring herself to do it just yet. To pop the magical bubble she had been living in the past few risings, only for reality to come crashing around her ears. The last few days had been the best days of her life. If she didn’t tell him, then he couldn’t reject her. That’s what she kept telling herself.
Living in denial, are we, Emma?
Fear had assaulted her every time she had almost spit it out. Fear of what he might say. Being bound to a Council member wouldn’t be an easy task for anyone. Even a rough-and-tumble bear Alpha. Normal wasn’t something she would ever be and he deserved normal. A normal she-bear who would spoil him, give him a family and be able to sit at a kitchen table and eat dinner barehanded without discovering everyone’s secrets.
During the days, she could pretend they were an average couple, holding hands and courting, but at night reality crept in with stunning awareness. His touch during the day held the swirling vortex of memories at bay like a giant bear-shaped wall, blocking the mist so it couldn’t touch her. When the sun went down, that wall wasn’t there. It slept in the room across the hall…just far enough away that the gray mist had an open target and she had no protection.
No matter how much she needed his touch to keep the nightmares at bay, she wouldn’t intrude where she wasn’t wanted. Even if it meant dealing with the darkness alone.
Darkness was her own personal demon. She hated the dark.
That’s when the nightmare always came.
* * * *
Patience. He needed patience.
Who was he trying to convince? He had been patient enough. That night at the waterfall and the picnics had changed things. She had trusted him with parts of herself that she could have easily kept hidden. As the days passed, she opened up to him more and more. He had spent the week spoiling her with treats and picnics, enjoying being able to take the time to just be in her company. Even his bear was content when he was with her, rumbling in pleasure with a noise that sounded suspiciously like a purr.
They spent their lunches and evenings together, talking about everything and anything.
But she was still keeping secrets.
Important ones.
Like why he always found her awake in the wee hours of the morning, sitting alone in front of the fireplace, a stark look on her face, as though she was fighting inner demons. During the day, she was happy and relaxed but at night her eyes showed the lack of sleep, the dark shadows a blight on her fair skin.
Not wanting to push the issue, or her, he’d made sure to avoid putting any undue pressure on her. Sure, they spent most of the days together and she told him countless stories of her sisters and their escapades when they were younger. But at night, he waited for her and she never came to him. They were both suffering for it.
Tonight, that was all going to change.
There was no way he was going to wait another night to have his mate by his side. She would sleep in the same bed as him. Whether things progressed past that would be up to her, but she would sleep next to him where he could protect her and chase the nightmares away. End of story.
Walking into the kitchen, he found her sitting in her pajamas at the table with a cup of warm cocoa nestled between her gloved hands. The curve of her braid fell softly over her shoulder when she bent to blow at the steam rising from her half-empty mug. Stirring when she heard his footsteps, she turned and rewarded his presence with a full smile. “Hey, you.”
Not saying a word, he took her hand and urged her out of her seat. Damien led her up the stairs, to the door of his bedroom. Locking the door behind them, he turned and pressed a gentle kiss to her upturned mouth. “You’re staying with me tonight. Even if we don’t have sex, I want you in my bed every night from now on, Emma.”
Her voice was just above a whisper when she replied, “That’s exactly where I want to be.”
The pads of his fingers traced over the dark circles underneath her eyes. Frowning at the smudges of black that were stark against the pale white of her skin, he met her tired gaze. “You haven’t been sleeping.”
Emma shrugged. “I have nightmares sometimes. They keep me awake.”
“Not tonight they won’t. Come on, baby. Let’s get you to bed.” Damien led Emma to the edge of his enormous bed. It was large enough that he could lie on it comfortably both in human and bear form with room to spare. Turning back the covers, he shifted to make room for Emma to crawl in but her hand on his arm stopped him.
“I need to try something first.”
Damien watched, curious, as Emma pulled the supple leather glove off her hand, one finger at a time. When both her hands were bare, she reached out and stroked her hand down the soft cotton sheet. A small frown he knew very well appeared between her eyebrows. For two whole minutes, she didn’t move or speak.
The cotton of the sheets was soft and cool to her bare fingers. She waited for the familiar gray cloud of mist to surround her, engulf her. Nothing happened. Not a thing. So she waited a minute. Two. No memories at all. No mist. Just the cool fabric that was slowly warming to her touch.
It was him. His things.
She had a theory.
She couldn’t prove it without asking some awkward questions, but she was pretty sure anything that was his alone, that no one else used or touched, she was immune to reading. His clothes were his alone, so no one else’s memories would be attached to them. The same with his bed, theoretically. If he hadn’t brought another woman to it.
But then there was the blanket he had thrown over them in front of the fire that first night. She’d seen his brother use it, so it had to have memories attached to it. But she hadn’t read it when it had touched her. It must have been Damien’s touch that had stopped the memories on the blanket.
He was the missing piece. The balancing force.
If the theory held true, then she could touch any object without reading it as long as he was touching her as well. The thought brought a smile to her face. It could be a complete turning point for her. She had a feeling that the longer she was around him, the more control she would regain over her gifts. She might even be able to walk around without gloves again someday!
This was the moment, she decided. She was ready to claim her Fated. She wanted this. Him.
Not having a ton of experience, she noted she was nervous. Two thousand years and she hadn’t spent a lot of time between the sheets with the opposite sex. She knew the basics and had engaged in the physical act on multiple occasions, but she’d never done it with someone she cared about. Someone whose opinion of her mattered.
Emma wanted to be able to please him. Gathering her courage, she met his gaze squarely. “I don’t want to sleep right now. I want you.”
Damien groaned out loud. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he tugged on her arm until she sat in his lap. With deft fingers he undid her braid, spreading her hair out over her shoulders. “We should talk first.”
Emma turned in his lap so she was facing him with her legs bracketing his, and wrapped her arms loosely around the thick column of his neck. “What do you want to talk about? I don’t have any diseases, if that’s your concern.”
He shook his head. “It’s not that. Although that is a good thing to be aware of. I don’t have any, either. There are a few things you need to know about before we do this.”
“Okay.” Emma tilted her head to the side, wondering what he could possibly want to talk about at a moment like this.
Opening the drawer of the side table, Damien gripped a small wooden box wrapped with an ivory bow. “I don’t want you to think this is just a fling for me. It isn’t. If we have sex, it isn’t going to be a one-night stand or a casual affair. I want forever. You’re my mate, baby. I know you know exactly what that enta
ils, so I don’t have to explain it to you. I don’t want you just because fate says so. I want you, Emma. You’re it. You have to believe that before we cross the line into a physical relationship.”
He held out the small box to her. She gently tugged the bow free and opened the lid. Inside sat a necklace— A carved wooden bear on a velvet string. The bear’s mouth was open in a growl with one paw slashing the air. She couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. Beautiful didn’t even begin to describe it. It was perfect. It was Damien.
Emma fingered the necklace while she absorbed everything he’d said. He was here, right now, offering her the moon if she wanted it. All she had to do was reach out and grab it with both hands. He wanted her. Taking out the necklace, she then slipped it over her head, the little bear nestling against her heart. “I want forever, too, Damien. You’re my Fated. For the Council, it’s the equivalent of a mate. There’s only one for each of us, one who can help balance us, and you’re mine. You’re the only person I can touch without picking up any memories. The only person I can spend my life with.”
His hands tightened on her waist. “Thank God for that. I’m never letting you go, Emma. Whatever happens, we’ll work it out, but I won’t give you up.” With a growl, Damien drew her closer and fused their lips together in a scorching kiss. Weaving one hand through her hair, he used his grip to restrict her movement while he plundered her mouth.
On a gasp, her lips parted and he took advantage, sweeping in like a thunderstorm. Switching between teasing licks and biting nips, he kept her off balance while stoking the raging inferno between them.
Tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear with one hand, Damien pulled back, capturing her gaze and refusing to let her look away. “I’m going to tell you right now, Em. I expect complete honesty between us. I know you’ll have other jobs after this one and we’ll cross that particular bridge when we get to it but I’m asking it of you, anyway. Will you stay with me, Emma, be my mate, Alpha female to the Clan, my future, and mother to any children we decide to adopt?”