by Eden O'Neill
“Be right back.” He disappeared up a set of spiral stairs, but rather than make this weirder than it already felt, I did decide to look around.
I started with the living room, taking off my gloves and shoving them into my fleece. The place was completely decked out, very masculine and mature. I wondered if he had a designer come in because even I had used the advice of a catalog when designing mine.
One thing I noticed were his sculptures, like so many and all weaved and wrapped in hard metals. He had some near the fireplace and his leather couch, more down the hall and passed the kitchen. It seemed I’d found his vice when I observed even more in an open space toward the back of the condo. He had quite a few back there. Though, not displayed like the others. It was almost like they were ready to go, some still in tarps, but the foundations told me they were the same metal pieces like the ones displayed around the property. Ramses might be some kind of collector.
Or an artist.
An easel stood by one of the back glass windows, oil paints stacked and arranged on a stepladder beside it. He had the easel covered, but a drop cloth and paints beneath and around told he was working on something. There were also shop tools around like maybe he did make some or all of these sculptures.
Are you keeping something from me, Midwestern boy?
The secret life of an artist, a passion he’d maybe not shared with everyone. I felt like I was getting a sneak peek into a secret world.
I approached the canvas and though completely not my business, I tugged at the cloth he had over it. I just saw the edge of gold paint before the floorboards creaked, and I whipped around.
“Ramses, you’re—”
A girl I’d seen before. A beautiful girl with dark hair and porcelain skin. She’d been a lovely girl in a luxurious white gown.
Not in a towel in the middle of Ramses’s condo.
Which she was, in a towel and standing there, feet bare and fair skin flushed. She had it tucked and secured above her rather abundant rack, lips a natural red like Snow White. She did look like Snow White, hair so dark almost raven black like mine. What I didn’t quite understand was why she was standing in the middle of Ramses’s condo—basically naked.
“Oh. Hello,” she said, like actual Snow White. Seriously, the girl was just missing the birds to pick up her cape. I actually snuck a peek around her to make sure they weren’t flanking her like an enchanted entourage. She grinned. “Are you a friend of Ramses—”
“December?”
Not alone now, this party suddenly three.
Ramses stood with his laptop, the Mac secured under his arm. His gaze volleyed from December to me.
December.
I obviously knew this was her. I’d seen her, but she’d been getting married back then. Not half naked in Ramses’s condo.
And so the sick feeling I’d felt upon going with him, coming here with him, was confirmed. Something had tugged at me that this was a bad idea, and here I was with foreseen bad idea. It flashed at me like a feature presentation. But before I could act, or react, to any of it, Ramses cut between the naked girl and me.
After placing the laptop down on a table, he got a hand behind me but faced her. “Hey, uh. Did you find everything okay?”
I jerked my gaze in his direction. So he wasn’t surprised to see her here? Like this…
Brilliant.
Why I was surprised I didn’t know and at this point, I think the only thing keeping me from fleeing was the fact he’d stood between this girl and me. He literally blocked my way with his huge frame.
“Yeah and the hot water worked great.” She placed a thumb up, casual about it, and I had to say, for someone caught in… whatever this was this girl and him had going on, she didn’t seem panicked. Like she’d been caught or whatever. If anything, she stood casually as if this were normal when it certainly wasn’t. She placed her hands out to me. “And I hope I didn’t interrupt anything…”
She hadn’t, a wake-up call for me but again, Ramses was blocking my way from getting the hell out of dodge.
“Bri and I were running.” He placed his big body in front of me like he knew my plans to leave, angling completely around me. He shoved a thumb back. “Bri, you know December. From the wedding?” Yeah, I knew of her. She’d been getting married at the time, and I’d shake her hand if she wasn’t wet, in a towel, and this wasn’t completely weird. He dampened his lips. “She’s using my shower. Hot water is on the fritz in her place. I told you she’s renting from me. I’ve called someone to fix it.”
Each word came out more rushed than the last, and at this point, I knew he was attempting to save face. That he knew that I knew this was weird, and why he felt the need, I had no idea. This, whatever he was doing, was his business.
And we were just friends.
Instead of shaking the girl’s hand because she was in a towel and this was just too freaking much, I lifted my hand. “Hi. Brielle. I was at the wedding. I’m a friend of Ramses’s mom. I was her plus one.”
Since Ramses faced in my direction, I completely saw what he did after what I said. How his body went rigid, how his eyes closed. I’d said his mom was my friend.
And it’d been deliberate.
The two of us had had a good time, a great time in fact, and so good, I’d let a few things slip. I got too settled in his friendship and completely dismissed my instincts or the ability to make good decisions. I’d allowed him to carry me along into this friendship, to completely forget that he hadn’t actually gotten out of my seminar and indulging in our back and forth exchange whether it be via his texts or simply seeing his face a couple times a week in class. I did that because I wanted to be around him. I wanted it so desperately that I allowed a few things to slide.
December smiled at how I’d introduced myself, her expression sweet as if it was nice. Nice what I told her about Ramses and me. Her smile widened. “Oh, that’s great. I’m sorry I didn’t see you that night. Did you have a good time at least?”
“Great.” I nodded, keeping my sight on her. But in my periphery a waiting Ramses cuffed his arms, his head hanging. He probably had a few things to say here but at the present couldn’t. I smiled at December. “The whole event was simply lovely and congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
That was my cue.
I didn’t know what game these two were playing. Maybe there wasn’t a game. Maybe she was just using his shower. Either way, it was my time to leave. I braced my arms. “I should be going. I have to head back to Maywood Heights tonight. I teach over at the university but live there. Long drive, so better get at it.”
“Of course. And good to meet you.”
She’d said it at my back because I’d used her distraction to cut around Ramses. I’d gotten to the door as he hit his living room.
“Brielle.”
He said it to me as if I were scolded, as if I were a child when the only childish person seemed to be him in this moment. Really, I didn’t know what was going on here. Frankly, I didn’t care. I left the situation, hit the exit, because I was hurt.
And that scared me.
I was hurt by something I didn’t understand. I was invested, and I hated that. I opened the door, but Ramses put his hand on it. “Let me leave.”
“I will.” And then he lifted his hand, freeing me up to leave but not before angling me around by the shoulder. “But not until you talk to me.”
He made me face him full on, standing solid in front of me. I toed into my shoes, but when he started to do the same, I held him back. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” He jerked a head toward the door. “I’m going with you so we can finish our run.”
“You’re not.”
“I am because you’re not leaving this situation thinking whatever you’re thinking.”
“Which is what exactly, Ramses?”
He gave me a look like it was obvious. “You thinking whatever you’re thinking about December and me.”
“I’m
not thinking about anything.”
“Right. Sorry, Bri, but I’m calling bullshit on that. You’re thinking things when you don’t need to be thinking things. December is using my shower. She warned me she might be using it because her hot water isn’t working. I told you. I’ve called someone for it—”
“But that’s the thing. You don’t need to tell me.”
“I do.” He cut in front of me, the door closed via his back. Pushing off it, he simmered above me. I’d yet to see Ramses truly panicked. Frustrated, yes. I’d seemed to have done that countless times to him in a span of merely a few weeks. Even still, he always regained his cool rather quickly.
He wasn’t now, like he had actual fear in his eyes. Fear of me leaving or… whatever, and that told me something really strong.
He was way too invested too.
He was way too into this too. We were friends, yes, but we were both way too emotionally invested.
“I do because it matters to you,” he continued, his lips parted. “It means something. December is my friend.”
“Like we’re friends?” I directed my gaze up to him, his eyes flashing.
He shook his head, slow. “Bri—”
“Why haven’t you dropped my class, Ramses?” I wet my lips. “Why are we playing this game?”
“No game.” He came forward. He pushed a hand into his curls. “And you are my friend. December’s my friend too, but there’s a difference.”
“What?” My throat thickened, my swallow tight. “What’s the difference?”
“She’s my friend by choice,” he admitted, eyes scanning mine. “And though that may not have always been the case, back then with our history, it is now. She’s my friend by choice. A choice I made.”
“And me?” My nostrils flared, but when he shifted, I turned away. I couldn’t look at him.
And definitely didn’t want to hear what he had to say.
I didn’t think I was strong enough for it. Because if she was his friend by choice, and regardless of her lack of availability, that only meant one thing.
That it truly wasn’t like that with her. Because he wanted it to be that way. He was friends with her because that was what he desired, but with me, he didn’t have that choice.
Because I’d made it for him.
No, I couldn’t hear that. I couldn’t let him admit that. It was too much, and I needed to leave. I eased around him.
“Brielle. Please.”
“I’m leaving.” I didn’t face him. “And you’re going to let me.”
Because he wouldn’t trap me. He wouldn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t do anything I wouldn’t want him to do.
Of that, I knew.
I’d gotten to know this guy, this man. He played all his cards in front of me.
Always honest.
“Text me when you get to your car.”
He stated the words at my back, so easy to read him.
You have to go.
I did go into the cold air and didn’t look back.
I suppose I was weak again.
Chapter Fifteen
Ramses
I knew December was behind me even before I turned.
I think that was why I’d done it.
I think that was why I’d put it all out there and said what I had to say. I needed to hear it.
And she had as well.
I turned to find her still in her towel, completely blind-sided by whatever had just happened. I’d been too good about keeping previous things away from her. They’d been my own crosses to bear, and I’d sat in silent torture with them. They’d been my burden, my plague, and something I had to come to terms with. They’d had nothing to do with her.
But that didn’t mean she shouldn’t know.
It’d taken fear to actually admit it. To see that things had really changed. I wanted them to change, and I needed them to. They were a roadblock to getting to where I needed to go, which, surprisingly, wasn’t in December’s direction.
I glanced toward the door, December’s near-silent steps padding toward me.
“We need to talk,” she said, and I sighed.
It’d been a long time coming.
We did talk after she came back, got some clothes on. God, the clusterfuck that had become my life had been my own doing. Still, it was goddamn shitty.
December and I did have that talk, in front of my fireplace, where she sat on my coffee table and I lounged on the couch. We had a few talks this way, casual.
But never so serious.
By the end, her hands had dropped between her legs, her swallow hard. I’d hit her with a lot of shit.
“First off,” she started. A veil of her hair had hung over her face, and she drew it back, tossed her head back. She frowned. “Your mentor is a complete piece of shit.”
Oh, yeah. So, I’d told her about that too, the Brown thing. It had all just kind of come out.
I figured if I was admitting shit, coming to terms with shit, she needed to know that too, and her reaction had been one that hadn’t surprised me. She’d been pissed, gone all female cavewoman. For some reason, she felt the need to protect my honor like I wasn’t a goddamn dude.
Even still, her reaction made me smirk, but her frown only deepened.
“Second.” She ticked off a finger, then moved close. “You know what happened over there, back at Brown. You know that wasn’t your fault, right?”
I did. Not many people were in my corner besides my mom. Our lawyers had just seen it as a PR mess, the Mallick playboy. They’d thought I was just trying to get my dick wet with some taken pussy since I fit the profile, and why should they see it as any different?
I dropped my fists between my knees. “I know.”
A nod on December’s end like we’d come to a consensus, and when her lips worked, I knew the ball was about to drop. That she was about to talk about the real shit. I’d talked to her about her and me, everything about her and me. I’d basically said it without actually saying it.
She was about to say it.
Sighing, she tucked a leg beneath her, the dance of the flames from my fireplace playing on her fair skin. Not so long ago, I would have drowned in her beauty. Hell, I’d have suffered in it. Now, I just fought everything I could to sit in front of her and not be someplace else.
With someone else.
My gaze dragged back to my cell phone beside me. She’d text me. When she made it to her car. She would. She hadn’t confirmed it, but she knew I was serious.
You shouldn’t have let her leave.
Like I had a choice. She’d taken it from me. Like a couple of things and that drove me crazy. Even still, I continued to chase her.
I swallowed, December’s lips parting.
“Three is,” she started, her other leg coming up and crossing on my table. She cradled them. “Why didn’t you talk to me?”
Her statement clearly wasn’t about the things she’d ticked off. A big reason why I could keep her eyes at the moment.
I scrubbed a hand down my face before working them both. “And say what?” I faced her, shrugging. “‘Zona, I ran out of this town like a bat out of hell because I couldn’t deal.”
“Well, that would have been a start.”
“And how would I have looked?” I tilted my head. “It’s because of me you suffered. Because of my family.”
Because of my father. My father and my uncle Leo. Together, they’d stolen so much from her. When it’d come to my uncle, it was her family he’d stolen from. And my father’s theft?
Well, her closure.
She’d been so close to not knowing the truth about what happened to her sister Paige back in high school, and that’d been due to me and mine. I was a product of my father.
How could I not take responsibility for what had happened to her?
I couldn’t look her in the face every day. Fuck, back then, I couldn’t look at my own self in the mirror. All I did see was my father, what he did to land his ass in prison, so no. Woe is
me wasn’t coming out of my goddamn mouth to the person who’d been the victim.
What I said appeared to pain my friend, her expression tensing, her lips pinched tight. Her head lowered, and a visible sigh racked her shoulders.
“The people who are responsible for that, what happened to my sister, are behind bars,” she said, the words from her sobering. We hadn’t talked about this in so long, not really much at all after it had happened. I’d left so quickly that summer, taken a summer class and moved to college early. I’d run. Her mouth parted. “And you know, that had nothing to do with you.”
Obviously, I hadn’t been the one to move the pieces. But it was because of my family that she and hers suffered. The Mallick name branded me.
“But I wasn’t adding to any more of the colossal shit you were going through. There wouldn’t have been a point.” It all would have been redundant, pointless. My jaw shifted. “I’m a grown man and can handle my shit.”
“But you weren’t back then.” More pain backed her eyes, her gaze drenched with it. She shook her head. “You were a boy, and I was a girl. And the only difference between us was that that girl had someone. She did and you didn’t.”
She did have Prinze, but her problems far outweighed mine back then. I’d just been a lovestruck kid.
And she’d lost a sister.
In our silence, her feet touched the floor. “You didn’t have me when you should have during those days, and I let you go, leave Maywood Heights, knowing the truth. I did, but I let you go anyway.”
I smirked. “Let me?” I hadn’t been silent about my feelings for her during that time. Of course, she’d known, but they weren’t her responsibility. “I left a flame trail I ran out of that town so fast. No one was stopping me.”
“I could have stopped you.”
And maybe she could have. In fact, I was so caught up in her she might have.
But that hadn’t been how the cards had fallen and wasn’t how things should have been. Like she said, she found her person.